Year Of The Pig: A 2019 In The Life Of FrothySolutions

"Hidden Easter Eggs" or "Fucked Up Shit I Look At On The Internet"

TL;DR: Had an Easter luncheon/Egg Hunt at work today, which was a surprise. And then I got ice cream. And then I got diarrhea. But the way I overshare in this journal, I worry that someone from my job is gonna find out that I post here. I also wonder, what do normal people enjoy on the Internet together? What forum could I browse with friends, if I had any? If only I could sit and watch people browse the Internet together. Wait, I can. At a library.

Today is Maundy Thursday. ? You might've heard about a liturgical foot washing tradition. It comes from the Bible. Where you wash people's feet in the name of Jesus. That's what you do today. Now, my absolute weak point where I keep my jimmies? Trying to tell me that sexual things aren't sexual. Fine and normal and innocuous. Absolute bullshit, I don't want any. And I don't care how liturgical you wanna say it is, foot washing is sensual. Consider the tale of the Anointing of Jesus. Mary/The Sinful Woman washes Jesus's feet with her tears. Rubs her hair on them. Kisses them and anoints them in perfume and oils. Fuck you if you don't think that's the kind of thing Tarantino keeps in an open tab. I know porn when I see it.

We had an Easter luncheon at work today. Why today? Because actual Easter is on Sunday when almost everyone will be gone. And Good Friday is the day the higher ups will be gone. And the higher ups DEFINITELY can't miss Easter Luncheon. My supervisor likes to take the piss out of me for eating a lot at these office luncheons. Guilty, I do put it away when it comes to a spread. And today was especially bad because I'm still on budget thanks to South Padre. So I haven't been eating like I'd like to. This luncheon was a very welcome Save Room in the grueling adventure of my life. And so he and I are snarking back and forth, but then he asks "What, are you hungry?" With the slightest sprinkle of sincere concern. "Are you hungry" means "Are you not getting enough food in life?" And then it dawns on me. My co-workers are always dumping excess food on me that they don't want/is about to go bad from the commissary. I'm fine with that, I eat every bit of it, but do they think I'm not able to feed myself? Because if they do, my supervisor could maybe negotiate a pay raise for me so I can feed myself.

We have the odd luncheon now and then. Not really a surprise. I guess these are the fringe benefits to make up for how little I make every two weeks. But what came next was a surprise: We had an Easter Egg Hunt. Not outside, where it's safe to hide things, but in our office. They want us to go stomping and peeking and prying and shoving around to look for Easter Eggs. In this office that's not only filled with network hardware that's easy to unplug, but we also deal with confidential client information. But if they think it's safe, I don't have a problem with it. I found a handful of Eggs, but there were 3 hidden Golden Eggs that I didn't find. And I could've found them if I was able to seriously start digging. But one of my co-workers, a woman maybe just a pinch older than me, I get this feeling that she doesn't like me? She doesn't talk to me much, and when she does, she's sounds real exasperated. I'm like the Jim Carrey to her Tommy Lee Jones. She's basically got this undercurrent of "Why are you being an annoying idiot? Normal people don't act like this. You're like a child." And again, she's not the only one who thinks this.

FrothySolutions said:
incels.is

Had an inquiry at work. My bosses had suspicion that I was gonna shoot somebody.

Oh boy. Lemme preface by saying, I thought I was a pretty normal seeming guy. Jolly, even, to an extent! I didn't think anyone had reason to think I was up to anything. And I'm not up to anything. But I made the mistake of doing the "Finger Guns" gesture to people. I don't know when I started...
incels.is incels.is

incels.is

I faced an inquiry at work today because I was talking to myself on the elevator like a rarted.

Writing's on the wall, I'm probably autistic. My boss and my immediate supervisor called me into the office to talk to me about my demeanor. They weren't angry, which I appreciate, but I'm also worried and ashamed, because they talked to me like I was a child. And I kinda came to the realization...
incels.is incels.is
Click to expand...

But she is the only one who appears as hostile as she does about it. And it was happy and peaceful times so I didn't wanna upset her. Normally I wouldn't mind upsetting her, on a non-holiday. But I didn't want the higher ups to step in and have us all return to our desks because the mood is ruined.

After the Egg Hunt we all had sundaes/floats. And it put in damage to my intestines later on. I think I'm lactose intolerant. Which is strange, because I was always so sure I and my family were white. See, white people, allegedly, aren't supposed to be lactose intolerant. The ancestors of white people come from countries that deal in milks and cheeses. And so they inherit the ability to eat cheese from their genetics. So if I don't have lactose genetics, am I not from a white people cheese country? I polled incels.is to see if I'm alone in this.

https://incels.is/threads/hey-white-people-are-any-of-you-lactose-intolerant.117960/

But wait a minute. Morocco dealt in milks and cheeses historically as well, and they're not white. Right? Plus I have light skin. My whole immediate family does. Maybe you can be white, but lactose intolerant.

I share kind of a lot in this journal, I think. And the more I share, the more I worry. Worry that someone from my job will discover that I'm posting here. Why? Because first of all, if you've read those two threads about my job I'm pretty sure I'm under some kind of investigation or surveillance. I think they're worried about me. So to what extent is their search? If they check honeypots like incels.is or Looksmax.me and read these posts? Maybe it's because I'm the one behind the screen making the posts, but I feel like I've hidden Easter Eggs of my own in these posts that, if you knew me, you would notice and piece together that I am who I am. So why do I do it? I guess I fall prey to the same complacency serial killers fall for. I want so badly to share my secrets, but I'm afraid I'll get caught. So when I don't get caught, I grow more and more low inhib. I'm like "Hey, do you wanna know this? Hey! Lemme tell you about that!" But deep down I know, I shouldn't try and get myself found out like this. That's hypocritical though, isn't it? That I'm worried about my details revealing me, but I'm on this Instagram voyage to uncover as many people and places as I can? I don't think that's so. Because I'm not looking for anything that's hidden. I'm only looking for information that people want to give me. Koryn Hernandez wants people to know her name and where she's based. I don't. Not yet. I don't want the people I know in life to connect me to this account. That's my only worry.

Sometimes I wonder, if I had friends, don't think I could let her know I'm active on this site. But then, if I had a wife, I wouldn't need this site. And then I could, with confidence, say "Before I met you I needed help becoming a man of distinction. Looksmax.me helped me with that." What Internet things do normal people enjoy together? What do they gather around the old iMac to look at together? If anything? There was that idea I had in "One Thousand Big Boys" where I use Tinder to put myself out there to sit on dates and learn how a date goes? Maybe I should expand that. Just watch friends have fun. See what they're doing together at home on their computers.

Wait, I could just go to a public library and watch people use those computers. Okay. Add that to the list.
 
"King of the Jews" or "The World Burns On Easter Sunday"

TL;DR: It's Easter, or as some might call it the 3rd day of Passover. I might be Jewish so I'm weighing both options. In the end though, I'll probably celebrate any holiday I can. I'm here with several immediate and extended family members, and my mother has seen fit to continue yesterday's "celebrations" into today, much to my frustration. My mother is a far left supporter of Ilhan Omar, I thought that Ilhan Omar was supposed to be rubbing Jews the wrong way right now? Anyway, just normal frustration with my family at Easter, nothing much to report other than that.

It's Easter Sunday and this is the best our emoji provider could do as far as holiday symbols. ???

Some of the family's gathered at my parents' place, and I'm wondering if we maybe should've gotten together on Friday instead. The start of Passover. Which I guess is represented by the same emojis. ??? Why? Because I think we might be Jewish? Remember on Thursday I had that ice cream and had bad lactose intolerance and held a poll to see if any other white people were lactose intolerant? Well, the results seem to suggest that white people are generally not lactose intolerant. So why was I? @honeypot had a theory.

Honeypot said:
You are Jew, only pure whites can handle lactose without training their guts.
Click to expand...

I'm Jewish? Could this explain why I like Seinfeld so much? Either way, I'm not really bothered by the "purity" of my whiteness. What I'm worried about is, am I allowed to still celebrate Christian holidays like Christmas? Does Jerry Seinfeld celebrate Christmas? Isn't being a Christian not about the color of your skin, but your beliefs? There's all kinds of colors of Christians. So why is being a "Jew" not so much a religion as it is an ethnicity? Same for Muslims. Islam is a religion, but the term "Muslim" is used as an ethnicity. Why? White people can convert to Islam, that makes them Muslims. So if you're from... I dunno, Kandahar, born and raised there, then you get out somehow and decide to worship Santa Claus, are you still a Muslim? Either way, my philosophy has always been "Any excuse for a holiday." Back when I thought I was just a regular white guy I was ready to celebrate Passover too. So really, it never mattered. Still, maybe let's see what the results are among non-whites and their tolerance for lactose.

https://incels.is/threads/hey-non-white-people-are-any-of-you-lactose-intolerant.118374/

My mother, both drunk and high, is a mess of inebriated vocal fry right now. I guess because of the proximity of Easter to the other high holiday, Drugs Day. My mom swears her vices aren't addictive and that she could quit if she chose to. But first of all, if she could then she should, and turn her life around. So I don't have to prop her and my dad up. Second, I don't really care about the addictive aspect. I don't like her going on head trips. If she's going in for a penny, she might as well go in for a pound and try psilocybin. If all she cares about is that it can't kill you and it's probably not addictive, she should try shrooms. She might have fun with them. She's rambling right now about the state of the Republican administration. She stands with Ilhan Omar. How Jewish can my mother actually be?

These family gatherings bring out my frustrations with the family that I do know, and the awkwardness with the family I don't know. It's like this so often, and it's not a good feeling. And yet, I love the holidays. Why do I love the holidays when they bring this?
 
Oh, I didn't know this, but apparently today is my mother's birthday. I'm bad at remembering birthdays. So maybe that might be why she's hitting the substances so hard today.
 
swines me
 
"Emo Earth Day Poetry" or "I Guess That's Why They Call It Oneitis"

TL;DR: The woman from the elevator, from "The Last Days in the Life of a Bloomer," it turns out she has a boyfriend. I'm crush-ed. I cry about it in this episode. And discuss the merits of being emo in this day and age.

It's Earth Day. ? In honor of it, I've prepared some cheesy high school emo poetry. Imagine it on notebook paper, with crude manga-esque drawings in the margins because it's the early 2000s and that's really big right now.

The Earth is black, just like MY SOUL
My conscience is torched, my heart is a hole
I was everything society told me to be
Now we weep for the planet, but who will save me?

Divinity's dahlia, rapt to behold
A star too far, her fire burned cold
Fleeting, like cow farts, at first she was here
And then she was beyond me, in the atmosphere

And now my whole world's in critical condition
Clouded with tears and nocturnal emissions
So turn off your lights, to prove that you can
An hour saves nothing, but the darkness makes a monster out of man​

FUCK this planet!!! I'm not gonna save the trees! I'm gonna cut them, and then maybe the trees will understand the pain I feel. If I can bear the cuts the world gives me and still manage to stand up and walk among the phonies and the sheeple, the world can bear some cuts of its own.

I'm sad, Looksmax! :feelswhy: Remember the elevator lady from "The Last Days in the Life of a Bloomer?" For some reason I had it in my head that she was single. That's an assumption I make with a lot of people at first and I realize now I need to stop. But today I see her in the lobby by the elevators again. She's in heels again. I figure she's coming off lunch or something. I look away for a split second to look at the menu for the in-lobby catering. And just as I turn to glance at her one more time, I see it. She's already walking away. With this other guy. And then it all clicks for me: She's going out to lunch with that guy. She was waiting on him to show up. THAT'S why she's always wearing heels when any other woman would wear flats or sandals or a comfortable sneaker. She was going out with someone and wanted to look nice. The heels... they're for him.

When you're faced with truest true heartbreak, it doesn't hit you all at once. It hits you in waves. Like when someone you love dies. You go to their funeral, you're sad, you go home, you're stable for a while, but then you realize "Oh no, right about now I would be getting a call from my mom, but I won't be getting those anymore because she's dead." Or like when the power's out. You realize the power's out, you're stable for a while, but then you go to microwave some soup and then you realize "Oh that's right, the power's out." That's how it was for me today. Reality was hitting me in waves. I remember thinking "She has a boyfriend, it's not fair...:feelscry:" But then I thought "Of course she has a boyfriend. Beautiful women don't sit around being single. They go out and find a man. Or a man goes out and finds her." All the pretty women are probably taken. Because how could they ever be single for very long? They're either taken, or coming out of a relationship. And breaking up with someone you liked, that's not good for the soul. I'm not looking for some pure virgin or anything like that, but dealing with heartbreak affects a person in an unattractive way. And even if I wasn't dating this hypothetical rebounding woman, which I don't intend to, you don't have to be in an exclusive relationship for the effects of that breakup to be evident. Yeah if you're dating there's probably leftover baggage from the last relationship, painful memories, mixed emotions of missing the good old days and refusing the bad old days at once, but even if you're casually fucking with a woman, that still factors in. That comes up. All the pretty women are taken, and all the untaken are either ugly or broken in some way. Having gone through breakups and changed as a person because of it. And not for the better. Take it from me, a single person. If I was attractive I'd be snapped up too by now. I'm not snapped up because I'm ugly and broken. As an incel I should be happy with my looksmatch and sanitymatch. Whatever I can get. I'll accept that when we stop telling fat women to "not settle." They're just as ugly as I am. So either we both settle or neither of us settles.

Know what else I noticed? The boyfriend was taller than me. What dawned on me then was, it's a myth to think that short women will necessarily go after proportionately short men. I was thinking "Oh she's shorter than me! A woman that height would probably look up to me as 'tall enough!'" But that's not necessarily the case, as much as tall women who want taller men would like it to be. Short women aren't settling any more than the fat women are. ESPECIALLY not the short women. It's actually the reverse! Short women probably seek out tall men more than tall women do. Because being that short, they can get a lot of "tall boyfriend" bang for their buck. It's like when a manlet lifts. He figures "I'm short, that means I can look extra beefy. I'm not gonna settle for looking like a lanklet gymcel if I don't have to, if I'm 'blessed' with smaller muscle bellies that swell up easier." So it is with short women. "I'm not just gonna settle for a man that's kinda taller than I am, at my height I could probably find a man that's a whole foot or more taller than me! And how many women are lucky enough to find one of those? No, if I'm 'blessed' with such relative shortness, not only do I not have to settle, but I can enjoy height disparities most women dare not dream!" Yes, some pink knights on Reddit will come out and say "I don't LIKE men that are too tall!" And I believe they believe that. But it's like having too much money. I'm not saying it's a nonexistent problem, but it's a hard problem to come by.

I realized that the impossible happened, which I guess is a good sign. I didn't think that you could have a crush or a oneitis outside of a social environment like school. But this heartbreak proves that you either can, or work is a social enough environment that feelings can develop between people. Too bad there's no one at my job presently that I feel anything for, or will ever feel anything for. That woman was, for a brief... what was it, Friday? A brief 10 days, was my oneitis. "Oneitis." I've been thinking about the term. How accurate is the word structure? People throw around that -itis prefix for a bunch of made up words but I don't know that everyone considers what "-itis" actually means other than "It's a disease or something." The "-itis" prefix means "irritation" and "inflammation." Like "rhinitis." The irritation and inflammation of the mucous membranes inside the nose. Your nose gets puffy and congested and sore. Or "colitis." Irritation and inflammation of the colon. When your colon gets puffy and swollen. Considering that? "Oneitis" kinda does make sense as a term. Because you burn for your oneitis, don't you? Maybe I'm just bitter. I'm owed my heartbreak, aren't I? It's not my "entitlement" speaking if I have a crush and my crush is dashed, is it? IncelTears, I'm asking you a question. But heartbreak really is the sweetest dipping sauce. Compare me yesterday to today. Before today, I saw her as a pretty woman, but it wasn't like she was the only woman in the world. But now that I definitely can't have her? Suddenly I find myself in a world of "roasties" in ratty flats and flip flops and hamper sneakers. Those stripper heels, man. They must've left a real impression on me. Now it's like "NOOOOOO I SPECIFICALLY WANT A WOMAN LIKE HER!!!" I feel insulted by the very IDEA that I could potentially be with someone else. I want every other woman to get away with me and to stop insulting me with their presence. Her being "taken" from me has somehow put her up on a pedestal and ruined every other woman for me.

While I'm on the topic, I know that I most likely never had her because she never would've gone for a guy like me. But there's some women out there who are like "If you think you lost your chance with a woman just because she's taken, that's sexist, because you don't respect the fact that she's just not that into you. You're waiting on 'permission' from 'the man' to dignify her wishes." No I'm not. Man, woman, anyone who goes out looking for relationships, they don't stop at the first no. You're not a rapist if you pursue someone or try to win them over. Because maybe they don't realize what you can offer. Maybe they haven't warmed up to you yet. And maybe it takes longer than that one night. Maybe it takes days and weeks and months of growing closer. Or does Futurama promote rape culture because Fry never gave up on trying to be with Leela? Say I shoot my shot, and the woman says no. However, this woman is a co-worker and after 5 years of growing closer she finally asks "Hey did you still wanna go to a movie?" She said no the first time. So should I say "Nahp, no means no, I have to move on to someone else?" How solid was that "no" if she's taking it back? Don't stump hard for the power of "no" only to undermine it with "Okay maybe I was wrong." I'm not saying don't take no for an answer, I'm saying Fry got to pursue Leela and nobody cried "rape."

I have gone emo, gentlemen. I feel like I'm owed that? Do goths and emos still exist? When I think back to the Emo Golden Age of the early 2000s, where scene chicks walked around in the trappings of Jack Skellington and Invader Zim, that's gone now. What happened to all the emos? I think over time the game changed. And all of the emos started speccing into combat stats and promoting to the Prestige Class of "School Shooter." Or they're making YouTube videos where they discuss "The Black Pill." I guess the Internet and social media expansions have made it easier to build up the EXP you need to promote like this. But as with most things in life, I'm late to the party. And I'm just starting out my emo phase.
 
Imagine writing this much on a consistent basis ever since January.
 
"Roger Rabbit Rules" or "A MommyGF For Zesto"

TL;DR: I had a sexual dream last night about a naked Norse elf giantess. I think my heartbreak over being short has turned into arousal for being with someone tall. But what does that entail for me? I decided to ask women who prefer short men why they do. And the answer appears to be "Because small men are weak." And they like weak men either because their fear of being crushed turns these women on, or they want a shota to baby. Neither of these options works for me though. So what can I do?

Last night I dreamt that incels.is had changed domains again. It was called "Incels.}{" and it not only came with a new domain, but a drastic overhaul of the site layout and several new functions. And dynamic new thread features. And I was in a thread, I don't remember the title, but I came upon a signature in someone's post. And it was this picture of what looked like another planet or something. The scene was this rock-bound coast, it was nighttime, the clouds were moving fast. And there were these "stepping stones" that climbed the coast. The coast sloped upwards. And I stared at it. And then suddenly I was in the scene of the GIF. And the sounds around me... I think I was hearing the wind, but there were like these murmurs. Like something was near. And then she appeared. This giant woman. Tall enough that I couldn't see the lower half of her from behind the rocks I was standing near. She was tall enough that she could reach down and touch me. She was slender and elven, and totally naked, at least from the hips up. She stared down at me with wide-eyed curiosity. She would pat my head. She would pucker her lips at me and softly murmur at me in some mysterious language, then turn away bashfully, squeeing and covering her face. Then tried talking to me again and being affectionate. She was speaking gibberish, but in my dream I understood it to be some kind of Finnish or Swedish or something. I think I thought she was some kind of Norse elf giant thing. And I some other kind of forest creature. One of the smaller ones.

She basically treated me like a pet. Like one would treat a rabbit or small dog. But that was a sex dream. I didn't have sex with her, but that was a sexual dream fueled by something. Is my coping with being short turning into a fetish for being short? Like those guys with small dicks who don't just accept that their dicks are small, but show it off for women who for some twisted reason like small dicks? My first foray into "What are my options now that I'm gonna be short forever" was probably in "Character Creation." Wondering what the dynamics are for a short man and a tall woman. And what the best kind of short man I can be is. But even if I decide on what my looksmaxing goals are and what the best kind of short man I can be is, the only way to really know what I'm in for is to ask actual women. Women who like short men. Now, you don't need me to prove that there are plenty, if not a majority, of heightist women out there who prefer a man who's taller than them. For traditional gender role reasons. And you just try and tell those women "The Patriarchy" made them prefer a big strong man to hold them and carry them and share his hoodie with them and be so tall that you have to pop up daintily on your feet to kiss him. These aren't my assumptions, these are the things actual women have said they like about tall men and why they stay away from short men. But I digress. Apparently there are women who don't just mind short men, but prefer short men. There are short women who like the idea of short men, but because these women are too short to have a short boyfriend of their own, they get their fix through 'shipping in fiction. Two examples...



​


But what is the appeal here? Women who like tall men have explained why they like tall men. They like the big strength and the hoodies and the popping up on their feet to kiss him. If I can focus on what traits women who prefer short men like, maybe I stand a chance of being picked up by one of these women. Pun intended. So I asked.

​


Not many answers so far. Not beeg soup rice. Maybe I need to wait it out. Or maybe there aren't very many women who are into small animals. As of right now? My only answer is this one.

​


So she likes short men so she can beat on them. Well that doesn't help me, because I don't wanna get beat on. So playing up me "Please throw me around" traits is not a good idea. Also? While I'm on the subject? Remember what I said in "Emo Earth Day Poetry" about certain types of women and why they would ever be single? I looked into her. She comes from a lot of hardship. Her ex-husband abused both her and her daughter. Also, she herself was abused as a child. This is baggage she carries to this day. Trauma = baggage. Breaking up = trauma. Either because the person was bad, or the person was good and you miss them. Breaking up = baggage. Otherwise people wouldn't make a point of trying to get rid of their relationship baggage. It's only natural to have a doggie bag or two after a breakup, so you have to make an actual effort to rid yourself of it. So if I was to meet this potentially beautiful woman and ask "How is she single?" How would I take the answer that "She's single because of deep neuroses that a cruel world planted deep within her. Also, she likes to throw people around."

And as I go through those Twitter posts it becomes clear: That IS the appeal of the short man. He's small, so at any moment he could be crushed by the "monolithic" woman. It's "Roger Rabbit rules." I don't wanna be crushed! But there is an alternative. What @Zesto chose. Being the "little" to what he referred to as his "MommyGF."

Zesto said:
I want this with my mommygf.

View attachment 58781

She will cook the turkey and then take a tryptophan induced nap with her arms wrapped around me and I'll fall asleep with her breasts squished across my back.
Click to expand...

The big woman doesn't have to be intimidating, she can be big and nurturing, like a mother. But the reason that worked for @Zesto is because he was boymaxing. I'm too old to try and be cute and "smol." Also? That worked for @Zesto because he wanted to be weak and protected by a mother bear. And that's not me. I don't know why that turns so many women on, but don't get mad at me that they like it that way and men wanna be the dominant papa bears in their lives. Lookin' at you, sorority chicks.

In summary, the appeal of the short man to tall women is, he's weak. And you can either hurt him, or baby him. And I don't wanna do either. So I can't be with a woman who likes me for my shortness. My best hope is to be with a woman who doesn't mind my shortness, or doesn't wanna parlay her own shortness to get a much taller man. Or... wait until my psyche buckles from the demands of my fetish dreams. Refusing your sexual urges, it never works out. Eventually the desire gets so pent up, it trumps the shame and you don't care anymore. You'll do anything. Anything to have it. This thing you're not supposed to like.
 
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"What Will We Watch In 2020?" or "This Era Has 2922 Minutes"

TL;DR: I saw that new Avengers on Friday night. I won't be spoiling it today though. I just wanna talk about how I saw so many people in Marvel apparel for the event, and it made me wonder, why do people dress up in novelty tees and cosplay for book and movie releases like this? That's not a critique, I'd like to wear my fandom around too. I said as much in "Character Creation." But I also said that I can't really justify any point to it. And so I'm left wondering why anyone does it. As a social centerpiece? Is it for showing other people? Because there wasn't much socializing at Avengers. People mostly stuck to the groups they came in with. Speaking of the groups you came in with, I was sat next to a couple when the movie started, and the guy started crying hysterically. Pitching and swaying. And his girlfriend consoled him. It was upsetting to watch, probably because I wish I would've taken the chance to go to Avengers with someone. There used to be lots of women on Tinder looking for dates to Avengers, but now that it's over, who knows when the next big night at the movies will be? Maybe the next Star Wars? But it's becoming increasingly obvious, a lot of things that a lot of nerds care about will be coming to an end in 2019. Avengers, Star Wars, Game of Thrones, My Little Pony, and so on. Which begs the question, if the 2010s were an era shaped by capeshit, CalArts, and softcore HBO porn, what will we watch in 2020? What will that 10 year era look like? What fads and phenomenons will it bring to make it look as different compared to the 2010s as the 2010s did compared to the 2000s?

I've been laying low key recently. Trying to avoid spoilers. Not just on the Internet, but in life. A very big movie premiered recently, you might've heard of it? Avengers Infinity Game? I was watching my 3, 6, 9, 12, and every other number on the clock. As Movie Night grew closer and I made my way to the theater I was afraid I might run into some mass serial spoiler. Good thing I'm practically deaf anyway. Earphones and something to listen to on my phone, and I was prepared to wait out this last home stretch until I was finally protected against spoilers and free to browse the Internet. It's a good feeling. As of Friday night, Avengers can no longer be spoiled for me.

Now, there's lots of movies that could be spoiled, ordinarily it's kind of a weenie thing to run from spoilers like this. And it still is. But this is one of those rare instances in media history where it's SO important to not be spoiled, the devilish will actually try and spoil the story for people. Remember back when we read Harry Potter? All the leaks from disgruntled Barnes & Noble employees? That shit made news like people were guarding state secrets. Remember the guy who drove to that midnight release of Half-Blood Prince to spoil the ending for people who'd lined up to buy the book? This is what I mean when I say "mass serial spoiler." Guys like him. But as time marches on, war changes. By the time Star Wars: The Force Awakens rolled around, YouTube was a thing and books were not. So instead of driving around looking for people in person, what people did was post spoilers in the comment sections of random videos that had nothing to do with Star Wars or anything. Like that Justin Y. guy, they would track which videos were about to trend and they would go to popular videos and post misleading comments that don't SEEM like they're about The Force Awakens, until you start reading it and then you realize that it's about The Force Awakens and it's a spoiler. And so it was this time around. With this prevalence of social media, and Marvel actually taking steps to say "Hey don't spoil the thing" with hashtags like #ThanosDemandsYourSilence and #DontSpoilTheEndgame and there being various platform tools and browser scripts to mute/blacklist certain terms. Anti-spoiler defenses have gone to crazy sophisticated new places. And so have pro-spoiler efforts.

https://incels.is/threads/lets-spoil-endgame-for-normies.119046/

https://incels.is/threads/i-pretend...nd-spoiled-avengers-for-them-spoilers.119127/

https://incels.is/threads/i-managed-to-get-an-endgame-spoiler-on-the-r-nofap-frontpage.119332/

I can't even go on incels.is or Looksmax, I didn't think anybody cared! So that raises the question, if it's petty to care about not being spoiled, isn't it petty to care about spoiling it for people? But then, did any of us claim to not be petty? I don't think the feeling here is "Spoilers shouldn't matter." People want the spoilers to matter so they have something to hurt normies with. And so I'll uphold that by not discussing the movie here.

But I do wanna discuss that I saw the movie. I get to the theatre, and the place is abuzz with activity. Just a hive. Lots of people were either in Marvel graphic tees or some kind of cosplay. Infinity Gauntlets, Spidey suits, you can probably imagine it. And I thought about this. At first I looked around at all the shirts and stuff and thought, as I often do, "Man, I should've worn something to this thing." Like an Avengers shirt of some kind. Or brought my Hogwarts robes to the release of Deathly Hallows. Or my Jedi robes to Star Wars. And... Lord of the Rings was kind of a force, wasn't it? But not like Harry Potter, I don't think. Nah, Lord of the Rings was the pedestal that sophisticated Tolkien nerds looked down their noses from at the kiddy Potter nerds. Nobody was like "Don't spoil Return of the King!!!" Probably because there was already the book. But my point is, though they may be rare, I've experienced "big nights" like these before, where people are showing up in novelty gear. Where was I? "Man, I should've worn something to this thing." But then I think, "To what end?" What's it for? Why do people do it, actually? I mentioned earlier in "Character Creation" how I don't have t-shirts or posters or anything like that tor reflect my fandom. Even though now and then I feel like I wish I did. Because invariably I come back to wondering what it's all for. A cool shirt or cool poster that no one will ever see is as good as having no shirt or no poster, right? So cool shirts and cosplay and posters and shelves full of action figures, this is for showing off to other people, right? That might be a good reason. Isn't that why anyone dresses nicely? You wear the shirt/cosplay for social reasons. To socialize with. To be like "Hey check out my shirt, hey your shirt is cool too, boy isn't it exciting that we're about to watch Avengers?" But I didn't see anything like that. The people who came in shirts and cosplay, they more or less stuck to their own groups and didn't socialize with anyone new. Yeah a group of people will come in wearing Marvel stuff, but then they'll just stand around talking only to their group. If the shirts are to impress others, are they supposed to admire from afar and not talk to them? If I had to compare it to something, bringing your lightsaber to Star Wars is the equivalent of putting a jack-o-lantern in your window for Halloween. Or lighting a Christmas tree for Christmas. It's meant for the people you're sharing the holiday with. But then... no, because the difference is your house is stationary. You invite people to it. So it's fair to say home decor is only for the people you invite into your life. But clothes, you go out into society with your clothes. So if it's not for society, what is it for? I guess I'll have to ask people who get dressed up for things like this.

Because it's not just movies I see this "Stick to your group" ethic at. I see it at the allegedly "social" gatherings too, like nightclubs, bars, and Halloween fetish parties. I see people coming up to me and asking why I'm not smiling more often than I see any woman approached like that. So am I doing something wrong? Am I going to the wrong clubs or what? Someone else must be seeing this too. Someone who knows about clubs and stuff and can tell me "The reason you're going to clubs and seeing people mostly stand around talking only to their group is..." and "If you wanna see the clubs where people are walking out with strangers for sex, you have to..." So, in summary, why do I not see everyone dressing up but not socializing? Maybe I'm just in the wrong part of the country.

When I got seated, I noticed the place was packed. Which isn't really news, lots of big movies get packed. And Avengers, you probably heard the stories of places selling out of tickets. So a packed house is understating the story. I was sat next to this couple, the girl had on some kind of Marvel shirt I'm assuming, I think I saw some Marvel characters, but she had on an overshirt of some kind so I didn't get much of a look. The boyfriend, he brought a plastic Infinity Gauntlet and a terry cloth blanket? I don't think the blanket was part of the... the merry making. It wasn't a Marvel thing like the gauntlet. At some point during the movie the boyfriend started crying. And I mean hysterics. I don't mean loud sobbing though, he was quiet, but he was hysterical. Swinging and swaying in his seat, hanging his head in his lap, writhing like he was in pain. I don't remember what part of the movie he started crying during, and even if I could spoil it, not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent. But it is real uncomfortable being in the same room as someone who's crying. Unless you're doing that person, you don't wanna be in the same room as them. And the girlfriend probably is doing that person, because she wraps an arm around him and consoles him. It upset me. Not because it was uncomfortable to see, but because it reminded me of the women on Tinder who were looking for dates to Avengers. Again, like I said in "Character Creation," while maybe not as much as a video essayist, movies are the closest thing I have to a hobby or interest, I think. So if I wanted to have Tinder dates with someone and all the bios are like "Take me out to eat" or "Take me to a bar" or "Take me to a concert," I know just about dick when it comes to dining, drinking, and live music. We wouldn't connect. But a movie, that's something I can connect with someone on. And Avengers was the big one. Yes, there'll be other movies in the future. Other Marvel movies, even. But Avengers was the one everyone was excited for. One of those rare instances in media history! There won't be another movie event like this for a while. And I let this one slip. Even if there just so happens to be a woman out there with "Looking for someone to go see Brightburn with me" it'll be an insignificantly small affair compared to Avengers. Avengers was the "big night" I could've had with some movie nerd chick. Because there are, or at least were, plenty of them on Tinder looking for someone to share the big night with. Now that there are no more "big nights" for a while, no great event to show up to and show out, no big fandom discussion piece, I figure these women are okay with just seeing future movies on their own.

No, wait. I have one more in the tank. Star Wars. That's happening later this year. But honestly I don't think it's got people as hyped as Avengers. Not nowadays. The difference between Avengers and Star Wars is people have been burned on Star Wars. Avengers and its "Infinity Saga" were something that, at least by Avengers 1, was something that was reliably fan-pleasing. So there was nothing but hype leading up to this final movie. Star Wars? Lots of people have lots of reasons to worry it might not be good. That dampens excitement. But you know what Avengers and Star Wars have in common? Both involve the end of a long saga. Avengers was the end of the Infinity Saga. And Star Wars later this year? It won't just be the end of a trilogy, it's meant to be the end of this 9 episode "Skywalker Saga." Again, I don't see Avengers-level hype for it just yet but maybe that's because Disney isn't pimping it like they should. Maybe they need to drive home that this is the end of all this Skywalker stuff.

But that really makes me think. About all of the big fandom things that are coming to an end by or around 2020. Avengers, Star Wars. Game of Thrones. Other things. 2019 really is the end of an era. And that got me thinking about what exactly makes up the "zeitgeist" of any given time. When does an "era" end, and when does an "era" start? The fads and the memes and so on. Well, the MCU started with Iron Man back in 2008. And while the MCU is still technically going on, the Infinity Saga ended this year. 2019. Game of Thrones The Live Action Series. Started in 2011, and will be coming to an end in 2019. Harry Potter books, lasted from 1997 to 2007. Harry Potter films lasted from 2001 to 2011. LOST had a similar big night sendoff with reactions and goodbyes from the fandom, lasted from 2004 to 2010. So not as long as others. Friends lasted 10 years, Seinfeld lasted... 9 years, The Office (the American dub) lasted 8 years. Total Request Live lasted 10 years. Breaking Bad lasted just over 5 years, but people were talking about how it felt a little early. Adventure Time started in 2010, bringing with it that CalArts "What if cartoons were gay what if that" style. Then it ended in 2018. That's 8 years. My Little Pony: Furfaggotry Is Mainstream started in 2011. Slated to end this year in May, on its 9th season. That's 8 years. It's not an exact cut, but the way I see it, in order to be one of those "era defining" franchises, you need to last close to 10 years. More than 5, anyway, and you should either be starting things up at the turn of the upcoming decade, or winding things down by the turn of the next decade.

Whatever "times" you live in now, odds are they started about 10 years ago, will end at the turn of the next decade, or started at the turn of the current decade. Like, I'll think about "meme culture" as it is today. How it's so different from how it used to be, and wonder when it all changed. When the "Old Internet" was, and when it started being the "Current Internet." When the "Good YouTube" was, with all the videos you liked, and when it became the "Bad YouTube," oversaturated with videos you don't like. Then I found this video. A chart of all the notable fads and memes from 2004 to 2019.

​


If you buy the reliability of this graph, it was around the turn of the decade that the "Rage Comics" style of meme started to take over. It was also around this time that "Meme Generator" was created, which perpetuated the "Advice Dog" style of meme that really exploded. Remember Pokédads? Another "turn of the decade" meme. But these were the start of "memes" as most people know them today. Before this the big memes were Flash videos and stuff. Usually on YTMND or Newgrounds. Shock websites you tricked people into visiting. Chain e-mails. But again, time brings new platforms and new technologies. YouTube, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Facebook, 9Gag, Funnyjunk, Me.me. Not really that big in the "Old Internet" but they are in the "Current Internet." Bringing new meme formats. But it always seems to only either last around 10 years, or change dramatically at the turn of the decade. Or maybe that's just how it looks from a United States perspective. Maybe I see the "zeitgeist" changing every 10 years because the last 3 U.S. Presidents all served 8 years. And in America at least, the culture kinda shifts depending on who the President is. With the last 3 Presidents ruling over almost a decade each, I guess I just associate culture shift with 10 year periods. How about you? Do you see it or is it just me? I figure the turn of the decade will not only bring the end of a lot of old things, but the start of new things that will eventually be that decade's Avengers or Star Wars or Game of Thrones. Most people probably won't know it when they first see it, so if you think you've found it, get in as soon as possible. Because "it's good to be in something from the ground floor. " That's from The Sopranos. Started in 1999, turn of the decade. Ended in 2007. So about 8 years. Time and again, anything big enough to shape an era lasts about 10 years. Goodbye Infinity Saga, goodbye Skywalker Saga, goodbye Thrones, goodbye Ponies, goodbye... what else, Big Bang Theory? This is truly the last year of its kind.
 
"The Reiwa Era" or "Why Asian Women Are Better Than Others"

TL;DR: Japan's history is divided into eras. Up until now we had the Heisei Era as the modern era, and the Showa Era as the classic WWII/Cold War era before that. But today Japan officially entered the "Reiwa Era" with the abdication of the old emperor and the ascension of the new emperor. How will the Reiwa Era be different from the past eras? That's an important question as we tend to sort Japanese media by era. Assigning definitions to what each era represents and brings to the table. Similar to how we associate an aesthetic to the 70s or the 80s or the 90s or the 2000s. There was some controversy from the international community about the choice of the name "Reiwa," but the Ministry of Foreign Affairs issued a statement on it to calm things down. But Japan moving further into the future in a world that's becoming more and more international, I worry about Japan's standards changing to accommodate the opinions of the rest of the world. And I worry about @Zesto and his dreams of having a life in Japan. I also wonder how he would do on Japanese Tinder.


If you're a fan of the Japanese cartoons, you might've heard this term: "Showa Era anime." It means that super retro looking stuff that Osamu Tezuka made a lot of. Or "Showa Era Godzilla." The classic Godzilla movies. Stuff made in Japan's "Showa Era." I don't know if anyone doesn't know this, but Japan's history is divided up into "eras." Depending on who the reigning emperor is. The Showa Era was during the reign of Emperor Hirohito. And up until now "Showa Era" was a catch-all term for anything that wasn't "today's Godzilla" or "today's anime." Up until now, we've been living in the Heisei Era under Emperor Akihito. Up until now. But as of May 1st, Japan Time, a new emperor reigns in Japan. It's May 1st in Japan right now. Emperor Naruhito, son of the old emperor. Instead of waiting to die, Akihito has abdicated the throne. An unprecedented move. Naruhito's enthronement ceremony won't actually be for almost 6 months. October 22nd. But as of today, it is official. The Heisei Era is over. And so begins... the Reiwa Era.

Separating and characterizing the eras is important, we tend to take into account the "feel" of each era compared to other eras. Like, we'll watch a Godzilla, and maybe we'll say "This has a Showa Godzilla feel to it." Or we'll look at an anime and says "This has a Showa Era style to it." Moving forward we're gonna have to decide what a "Heisei Era feel" is, and what a "Reiwa Era feel" is. Showa Era was classic Godzilla, Astro Boy, and "super robots" like Gigantor. Heisei Era was 30 years of moeshit. But the Reiwa Era has only just begun. Who/what will get the chance to define it? Maybe we should consider what the phrase "Reiwa" actually means. Surely the name is probably meant to be some kind of sign of the intentions for this new era? There was actually some controversy about that. The phrase "Reiwa" was originally understood to mean "Harmony through order" or something like that. The original kanji is "令和 ." 令 = "Rei" and 和 = "Wa." "Wa" is harmony, but "Rei" is understood to mean "order." Rules. Commands and decrees. And "the West" got all scared because they thought that meant strict new times were coming to Japan. So Japan's Ministry of Foreign Affairs had to run defense and explain that 令/Rei in this context doesn't mean "Order." It means more like "Beautiful." It's not "Order + Harmony," it's "Beauty + Harmony." If you buy that. Because they also say "But look, this is all interpretation. 'Beautiful harmony' isn't our 'Official International Translation' of the name either. It's just an unofficial interpretation by us. And we're not providing anything legally binding at this time." Besides, how much meaning could it have? It's not like the Prime Minister picked it. Or the Emperor. It was decided by a panel of random important Japanese people who, while important, are random, and have nothing to do with how things are gonna be run in Japan. They came up with some potential names, and then gave the list to the government. Who then picked "Reiwa" from the list. So, I guess the name was thought up by the panel, and the government approved it. Closest thing to an explanation for what the intentions behind "Reiwa" are comes from Prime Minister Shinzō Abe, who says that it means "A culture being born and nurtured by people coming together beautifully." Which could mean anything.

It's times like these that I think about @Zesto and his dream. There's a lot of talk between incels.is and Looksmax about how "No one will remember you when you're gone!!!" Fuck that. I can't forget @Zesto, I don't ever intend to, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I find him on my mind very often. I think about him now because he always talked about the un-Americanized purity of Japan and how he hoped it would keep going. But it's a new era now, there's pressure from the international community for Japan to be more like the rest of the world... we got an Olympics coming up there, and I've expressed my fears about that.

FrothySolutions said:
My greatest fear is that NBC will do a bunch of soft culture pieces inbetween the events...



"The cultural phenomenon of 'anime' isn't foreign to the international community, but there's a lot that we here in the United States are still missing out on. Mary Carillo reports..."

"Most Americans might enjoy watching Kevin Durant rack up the points for Team USA. But what if I told you this little girl..."


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"...has just as much game as the Velvet Hoop?"
Click to expand...

I don't want the rest of the world to come over there without taking their shoes off first, is what. I don't want us changing it either. Japan has shown remarkable resolve in staying its course so far. In a world where all the "cool" countries are just legalizing everything. The main defense against not legalizing a crazy thing is to point to the rest of the world and say "Look at how few countries have legalized that crazy thing. It would be too radical to legalize that crazy thing. Not enough countries have legalized that crazy thing for it to be a normal thing." And I fear the clock is running out on that defense for Japan. Japan is one of the few countries that still understands that drugs are bad. I really admire that, living in a country that used to have standards about that thing but has now decided "If I wanna fuck with my brain I have that right as a consenting adult." I look to Japan as one of the few tentpoles holding this standard up. I really admire Japan. Are they a little on the sexual side? Yes. Another reason why I admire Japan. But as far as things they hate? They don't like guns, they don't like drugs, sociopolitically it's right up my alley. I think this is the "discipline" vs. America's "degeneracy" that weebpilled people talk about. But this Reiwa Era, it's a clean slate. A strong point is made to define this era as being separate from the other eras. A new start. And is it telling of anything that the first Reiwa Era Godzilla movie will be Godzilla: King of the Monsters, a Western film? Japan doesn't even get to start their Reiwa Era Godzillas on a pure foot? This is what we open the era with???

Good luck to you, @Zesto. What was it, summer/fall of this year that you were headed over? Speaking of which, I recently saw his actual face. I don't know if he didn't want me to, but I saw it, and he doesn't look bad! He was supposed to be boymaxing, right? He looks like a young boy. Soft features. Has anyone tried Zestofishing? I think I'd like to take him out for a spin in Japan Tinder. Problem is, I can't speak Japanese. And Google Translate is no good because Google Translate was the one that told everyone that "令/Rei" meant "Order." I wonder how good the English of the average Japanese mommygf is?
 
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"'Ship Dynamics" or "A Pair in the Subreddit of FrothySolutions"

TL;DR: There's a name for this "what kind of couple can I make with a woman" theory I've been getting at recently, it's called "'ship dynamics." Where you analyze and expound on the dynamics of each character in a pairing/'ship that you like. For the dynamics of each character and how they interplay. The dynamics of "Big Strong Man A" and "Girly Girl B" for instance. This has kinda taken off recently as a meme, and while the iron is hot I'd like to ask this community if I can make any interesting matchups with any potential personalities. If they can take my "character" and tell me what good matchups might happen if I was to go with a certain kind of woman. But I don't know how to reach this community. So what I've done instead is set the meme clock to lurch forward by creating a subreddit for this meme. A meme getting a subreddit is an important notch in a meme's timeline and potentially even crucial to its strength. I hope people show up. I hope the world watches. But whether it does or not, I'll tend to that subreddit until people do come. It's important for me to learn my dynamics, they are the building blocks to my looksmaxing potential and I can't make any real moves towards looksmaxing without a roadmap.



Y'know how in posts like "Character Creation" and "Roger Rabbit Rules" I've been thinking about, if I was ever to be in a relationship with a woman, what kind of couple we would make? What my "role" in the relationship would be? A strong gentlemanly type of guy, for instance, who stands about a head taller than his girlfriend, he can be the supportive protector to some JustGirlyThings reblogging woman. So what can I, as a 5 foot 5 Norwood Sevener who's elbow deep in his 40s, be to a woman? Part of it depends on the woman, and the other part of it depends on me. I'm a 5 foot 5 Norwood Sevener who's elbow deep in his 40s. What kind of couples can that make when you pair it up with certain women? That's what I've been wondering. And wonder of wonders, this concept has a name. It's called 'ship dynamics. It's stuff for fujoshi nerd chicks. Fanfic writers, fanart drawers, #OpenRPers. And while it's technically been a thing for a while, it's enjoyed a surge in popularity as of April 2019. According to Know Your Meme.

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ship-dynamics

They use Google Trends to gauge when something's hot, and according to Google Trends, we're in a little bit of an upswing.

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It looks like it's starting to dip, but I'm sure this is just opening day calm down. Eventually this is gonna pick up again. The Tweets I posted in "Roger Rabbit Rules" were basically examples of 'ship dynamics, but here's a few more examples just to firmly establish what this is about.







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You get it, right? They're talking about types of couples they like. And there's some controversy, of course, because as usual in this... let's call it a "community," there are some people with kinks that others find unhealthy. Supporting "toxicity." People who hate one another. Abusive relationships. People who watched someone grow as a child into an adult and now that they're an adult they can have sex with them. Or as I like to call it, "AnakinxPadme." These "sick fucks," in turn, respond to the "moralfags" and "purity police," saying "Anakin and Padme did it! So we can do it."



And as with all memetic movements, some people are doing it ironically, I guess as a response to the un-ironic absurdism of some posts.

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I don't really have a dog in any of these fights. What I wanna know is, if these creative people have concepts in their minds about couples and the dynamic each person brings to the relationship, what can they do for a "character" who is essentially me? What women do I work with, and how do I work with them? What variables go with the "FrothySolutions + ???" formula? Is "Object of semi-abusive rough love to statuesque dom" my most likely fate? I'd like to ask. But how do I reach this community? How do you reach a community" indeed. It's like asking "How do you reach the incels?" It's not like they have a single gathering place that every last one of them goes to, do they? Maybe not. But there usually is a de facto single gathering place, where most of the incel community gathers. You can't reach all of the incels, but you can go to their most popular site, and odds are that's where the most vocal and dominant representation of the community is. And you can probably do the same with these 'shippers. But Where is their de facto single gathering place?? Twitter? Tumblr? Those aren't really places for "discussion." Twitter has a character limit. And Tumblr only has blog comments. I need something conducive to long form discussion. Like a forum. Or a subreddit. Is there a subreddit for this? That's what I wondered. Until I learned that there wasn't a subreddit for this, so I decided to take the "bull" by the horns and make it myself. Following in the enterprise of @Time Travel, I have started a subreddit. I have created r/ShipDynamics! Where I, and maybe you, can discuss and workshop concepts for for pairings, or "'ships" as they're called in the fandomverse.

Why did I do this? Because it's good to be in something from the ground floor. I believe we're on the verge of some kind of "meme." All of the modern day meme tracking metrics say that a meme has "made it" when a dedicated subreddit is created for hosting the kind of content that meme is made of. "Dank memes" are a thing because "r/dankmemes" is a thing. All the meme metrics make a note on the meme's timeline of when that meme got its dedicated subreddit. So now? Now? This "meme," provided it keeps its legs, has a subreddit. And I made it. And if people come to see it, people experienced with 'ship dynamics, maybe they can answer my question. Until that day comes when the world's eyes are upon this new subreddit and I can say "Hello world, now that I've got you, who do I belong to," IF that day comes, I will, as I do here, attempt to post on a regular basis. How about we kick things off with this 'ship dynamic? Inspired by @Zesto.



As far as @Zesto's mommygf, think Hajime Owari from Dagashi Kashi.

Zesto said:
View attachment 2376
Click to expand...

@FatmanO asked recently what we had done in the recent month as far as looksmaxing. Right now I'm looking into getting a hormonal panel. But I think the real truth is, I'm consumed by this 'ship dynamic thing. The Instagram archive, and this 'ship dynamic thing. I don't think I can make any actually productive moves until I learn what my dynamics are. Because this is essentially the report on what my potential is if I do looksmax. I can't be the 6 foot plus strong but soft cuddle knight to the petite and decidedly effeminate jacket-smelling hoodie-stealing mischievously playful romantic. So before I do anything, I need to learn what I can be, what my options are, pick the best option, and drive towards that hoop.
 
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"Hot South of the Border" or "Uribe In Our Hearts & Minds"

TL;DR: For Cinco de Mayo today I had to run out to get some stuff for a dinner my family was having. I ended up chatting with a prostitute and this other guy about safe sex and I got the opportunity to get off my chest how I'm not having any sex and would like to have some, and if anyone had any advice. I like to think I almost got some. The prostitute also said that I shouldn't be ashamed of my small dick because you can make up for lack of inches with sexual skill. She invites me for a drink at a nearby bar or something, but I can't make it because I don't have enough money. So we part ways. And almost immediately I regret leaving her. But why was I so uncomfortable talking to her? I guess I didn't know how to hold a conversation like a normal person. Also? I was afraid of STDs. And I didn't have the money to keep up with her tastes. If I could somehow beat these things, I could've had a good time with her. But then, would that be escortcelling or no? But whether I have a good time with her or not, these are hurdles I must jump if I wanna slay anything. Also? Whatever my dynamic, I will probably need to put on muscle. The kind of muscle that women admire. What could it possibly hurt? So that's what I'll do, starting tomorrow.

It's ? Cinco de Mayo! ? Also known as "Mexican 4th of July" here in the States. Except it isn't, and jerks like Jim Gaffigan seem to need to remind us of that.

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It's the day we have Mexican food, alright?!! If not now, when SHOULD we have Mexico Day???

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:feelswhat: ...Disagree. It has to be a warm month holiday and it has to be before Labor Day. Nobody's in the mood for Tex Mex and tequila after Labor Day. You got from May to Labor Day to have that kind of fun. And that's what I set out to do today. So here's the story of my quest for Cinco de Mayo fun.

I had to buy, among other things, supplies for a Cinco de Drinko thing my family was having today. It was another long walk, so I took the bus. Went and got my stuff, including lots of napkins (for Cinco de Mayo) and toilet paper (unrelated, I just needed it). So I'm sitting in the shelter waiting for the bus with this other guy, right? I'm listening to something on my phone, when in comes this woman wheeling around some kind of... walker-type thing that she also sits on. She wheels it in and sits on it. And she starts talking to the other guy while I'm listening to what I'm listening to, totally separate from this social occasion going on. He gives her a dollar. She's soliciting something, I can tell. I selfishly keep my earphones in, hoping that as long as I'm listening to what I'm listening to, she won't ask me for money. But I notice that, even after he's given her the dollar, she's still talking to this guy. So now I'm curious. What could she possibly have to talk about for so long? I decide learning this is worth a dollar. I take out my earphones and acknowledge her and the other guy. And she turns to me and asks if I'd like to donate a dollar to help the homeless prostitutes. I admire her honesty. She could've stopped at "Help the homeless" but she said "Help the homeless prostitutes." Because I don't know many people who want to support prostitution. They wanna help the prostitutes get off the streets and prostitute no longer. But here she's saying "Support us because we're homeless, but can't/won't make any efforts to stop prostituting ourselves." It's like a drug addict asking for help, but also stressing "I will definitely use again." Anyway, I give her the dollar. She goes into the usual vouching that solicitors tend to do. How this wasn't a scam and she's legit. She apparently works for the Health Department and she's accepting donations on their behalf. And sure, whatever. I would've given her the dollar regardless. But I do know there are homeless shelters around here that do this, send their tenants out to collect donations. Anyway, as an employee/contracted foot soldier of the Health Department, and as an active prostitute, she says we should be wary of STDs. She reaches into her purse and pulls out some condoms, stressing that she always carries condoms with her just in case.

"Just in case." I don't know if I've said this yet, but there are a lot of incels out there who find themselves caught up in discussions about sex and are afraid of being called on because they haven't had sex yet. I'm the opposite of that. I wish I could be in one of those conversations so I could say "I haven't had any sex and would really like to! Someone help me!!!" And here was exactly the opportunity I was looking for. I wanted to say "Just in case? I'm a virgin! Having sex isn't as easy for me as you might assume!" But instead it comes out as "I would carry condoms but I'm not having any sex." And so she's all like "What kind of girls do you like?" And before I can say "The ones who are interested in fucking me" the other guy at the bus stop says "Yeah I carry at all times too" and pulls out a pack of Magnums. And she's like "Oh, he's got Magnums!" I says to them "I can't use Magnums. I'm not packing anywhere near enough." And the prostitute is like "It's not the size, it's how you use it." Aha. She goes onto say "Take it from an old prostitute! I had this one man, he had a little dick? He made me cum." She had a heart of gold, that prostitute. And maybe she doesn't understand just how small I mean when I say I'm not Magnum. But this backs up that experiment @HorribleTeeth did, and the theory that women will put up with a small dick, that it's not an entire deal breaker.

https://incels.is/threads/just-received-a-brutal-blackpill-on-bumble.100298/

I guess it's because people don't like to be mean, so when you tell them upfront "The dick is not big," the first response is to be as nice as possible.

Also, @HorribleTeeth... I just... really hope you're still here after November 11th. :feelsbadman:

She points out that I have a lot of toilet paper. I say "Yeah, I need it all, on account of how I'm not having any sex." And she's like "Oh, because you're jacking off a lot." Yes! Very good! Most people don't get it when I say that but she picked up on it right away. I think I'm really hitting it off with this woman. The Magnum guy's bus shows up and he leaves us. It's just she and I. This is the situation I kinda hate. Because I don't know how to be a normal person in normal society, I don't know what I'm supposed to do from here. Just sit in silence and wait for her to initiate some kind of conversation? If I've learned anything from Tinder and Discord, people will always blame you first if things go quiet. YOU ghost THEM. But she asks me where I'm headed after this. I tell her I'm headed to a phone dealership to see if i can get a new battery for my phone. She says "Okay." And then there's silence again. Uhhhhhh... okay... what next... I'll ask her where she's headed! She says she's headed to get a drink. I say "Oh, there's a place to drink around here?" She says yeah. And then... THEN... she asks if I wanna have a drink with her. :dafuckfeels:

I don't have the time. I have stuff to do today. But also? And presumptuous as this sounds? I'm afraid I might get a kiss from her. And she might be carrying. A lot of people don't know that they're carrying. A lot of people might not even reveal that they're carrying. My own mother basically said "If you've got mouth herpes, you don't even need to be all upfront about it like that" in "The Comprehensive List Of Things Wrong With Me." Because everyone's got it. So how many people out there think like my mom? Maybe this prostitute? But third thing, I don't have the money to pay for my own drinks. And she's like "Oh, I didn't think you drank! :ROFLMAO:" And I'm like "I don't, but if you're inviting me..." Then my bus comes. And like most drunk/high/vagrant people in my city, she steps on the bus with me and starts playfully berating the bus driver to look after me while she's gone. And that I'm looking for a woman. And then we part ways. And initial fears over mouth herpes give way to regret. Damn. That old corner market stand hustler had some big cock milkers. Probably why she keeps in business even at her age. That and keeping condoms on her and not kissing on the mouth. I tell ya, I really really feel for people who have STDs. It's a dark and tragic truth you don't like to think about. People on incels.is and Looksmax be like "I'm ugly! It's over! It's so over!" And I don't wanna diminish that, you don't have to be flat out deformed to have valid insecurities about your body. But a lot of people seem to think that even if you have an STD, it's not over. If you're a girl, that is. But is that really how it is, or are we just misplacing our anger at society and coming up with crazy thoughts like "A woman with an STD can get any man she wants?" Here's the way I see it. People tell us incels "You're not ugly, I'm sure a woman would love you if you were confident and a good person." So we turn it around on them. "Okay, would you fuck me if I was a good and confident person?" The same litmus test should be applicable to us. If we're so desperate and women are so desirable, would WE fuck an ugly woman? I put it to a poll.

https://incels.is/threads/as-an-inc...wer-your-standards-to-be-with-someone.120499/

I made a poll asking what flaws you would accept in a woman if she would be with you. Currently stands at 61 individual voters. I wanna get it to at least 100. But as it stands now? In our defense yeah a lot of us would fuck an ugly chick if she wanted to be with us. "Looksmatched" and "Sub-looksmatch" each have lots of votes. Know what has just about the least though? "Has STDs/STIs." The only option lower than that is "Stacy or bust," which would be disingenuous if you're an incel. So surely with this poll as evidence, we have to understand that there's no "over" like "I have an STD" over. Even for women. Unless you're one of the 4 out of 61 who said they'd take a woman with STDs.

And me? I'm gonna have to join them, eventually. If I want my dreams to come true. I wanna live that slayer life. If I wanna have spur of the moment unprotected casual sex with strangers hopped up on Four Loko, I'm gonna have to put up with a little herpes, facts is facts. Also? I need more money. My arms were full of groceries so that was hindering me, but it's only so rarely that I have drinking money. I only really do it around the holidays. Also I only get cheap stuff like the odd can of Red Bull. I need more money. But there's no gym for your wallet. By the way, I still haven't finished the Instagram archive, obviously. But the more I go over what I have, the more I learn that the crazy stuff, like spur of the moment unprotected casual sex with strangers hopped up on Four Loko, that happens south of the border in Cinco de Mayo Land. For instance that video of the woman who stripped naked and was bouncing on the cock of that one guy while a crowd of people watched? That I posted in "XXX Marks the Spot 5?" That was on Rosarito Beach, but I found out exactly where on Rosarito Beach it was. I'm pretty sure it was at a beachfront nightclub called "Papas & Beer."

​


See that? That's probably the very bench those two fucked on. Can you match it up? Anyway, if you look up GIFs and clips from Papas & Beer, there's all sorts of drinking things out of people's asses and wanton public nudity and aggravated indecent exposure. Because as the comments on Instagram will tell you, if it looks like fun, it probably didn't happen in the United States. People in the United States would sue/call the #MeToo people. People only get away with these things south of the border. And there's no way I'm not catching herpes down there. So I better get my courage up.

I sometimes come by and look at that Papas & Beer broad daylight sex clip to try and see if I can manage an erection, so I can squeeze one out for the night. And recently something's puzzled me. I look at that woman, and women like her, I'm looking at their naked bodies. Their breasts, their asses, their thighs, their hips, their pussies, my eyes are drawn to it, my vision is filled with it. I can't help but be attracted to their erotic bodies. I wanna grab, grope, knead, squeeze, smack, suck, motorboat, blow kisses on these parts of their bodies. Anoint them in messy fluids. I feel this way. So all things square and equal, there must be women that feel this way about men, right? What evokes these feelings in women? What do they wanna grab and squeeze? What is the equivalent? I've thought a lot about this, and I wonder how much help Looksmax or incels.is is with this, because of their obsession with face and tradwives. They're not looking for, say, a Teresa Uribe.

​


They want traditional models. Pure as porcelain. I want somebody built like a porn star. Built for pounding and smearing things on. So they couldn't begin to tell me what the male equivalent of this is because they're not down with the female equivalent of this. So I had to figure this out without the help of Looksmax and incels.is. And the best I could figure is, I am to Teresa Uribe as women are to muscular guys. Buff guys are what the ladies admire like thicc Latina fuck machines are admired by men. So if I want women to feel that way about me? Well... I'm not saying they ever will, but it definitely won't happen unless I start lifting. Maybe it could? This thread on incels.is seems to suggest it could. As if it were a bad thing, if you can believe it.

https://incels.is/threads/i-still-c...s-who-think-chads-are-made-in-the-gym.120496/

Is he really saying if I get as swole as the guys in those pictures, I can slay trashy chicks as depicted in that thread? Because that's what I want. I haven't really figured out what my dynamics are yet. Still at it over on r/ShipDynamics. But how badly could lifting hurt my dynamic? On top of that? It's probably just better for me to lift. You know the once fattest man in the world? Manuel Uribe? No relation to Teresa Uribe? Know how he got as fat as he did? Desk work and Mexican food. I'm a desk worker. And here I am today pounding bottomless smothered burritos. Mexican food and desk work must be the secret. The way I eat and the way I don't exercise, I need to lift just to keep from getting fat, I think. Turn some of these calories into lean mass, if nothing else.

And so it starts... tomorrow. Cinco de Mayo will be my last day of fatceling, even though my BMI is typically only between 23 and 24, I don't think I'm fat. But whatever I am, skinnyfat or what, tomorrow I start lifting. I already bought the weights and have a routine planned out, tomorrow I kick things off. There's your answer, @FatmanO.
 
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one word read before scrolling down I did not
 
FrothySolutions said:
"Hot South of the Border" or "Uribe In Our Hearts & Minds"

TL;DR: For Cinco de Mayo today I had to run out to get some stuff for a dinner my family was having. I ended up chatting with a prostitute and this other guy about safe sex and I got the opportunity to get off my chest how I'm not having any sex and would like to have some, and if anyone had any advice. I like to think I almost got some. The prostitute also said that I shouldn't be ashamed of my small dick because you can make up for lack of inches with sexual skill. She invites me for a drink at a nearby bar or something, but I can't make it because I don't have enough money. So we part ways. And almost immediately I regret leaving her. But why was I so uncomfortable talking to her? I guess I didn't know how to hold a conversation like a normal person. Also? I was afraid of STDs. And I didn't have the money to keep up with her tastes. If I could somehow beat these things, I could've had a good time with her. But then, would that be escortcelling or no? But whether I have a good time with her or not, these are hurdles I must jump if I wanna slay anything. Also? Whatever my dynamic, I will probably need to put on muscle. The kind of muscle that women admire. What could it possibly hurt? So that's what I'll do, starting tomorrow.

It's ? Cinco de Mayo! ? Also known as "Mexican 4th of July" here in the States. Except it isn't, and jerks like Jim Gaffigan seem to need to remind us of that.

​


It's the day we have Mexican food, alright?!! If not now, when SHOULD we have Mexico Day???


:feelswhat: ...Disagree. It has to be a warm month holiday and it has to be before Labor Day. Nobody's in the mood for Tex Mex and tequila after Labor Day. You got from May to Labor Day to have that kind of fun. And that's what I set out to do today. So here's the story of my quest for Cinco de Mayo fun.

I had to buy, among other things, supplies for a Cinco de Drinko thing my family was having today. It was another long walk, so I took the bus. Went and got my stuff, including lots of napkins (for Cinco de Mayo) and toilet paper (unrelated, I just needed it). So I'm sitting in the shelter waiting for the bus with this other guy, right? I'm listening to something on my phone, when in comes this woman wheeling around some kind of... walker-type thing that she also sits on. She wheels it in and sits on it. And she starts talking to the other guy while I'm listening to what I'm listening to, totally separate from this social occasion going on. He gives her a dollar. She's soliciting something, I can tell. I selfishly keep my earphones in, hoping that as long as I'm listening to what I'm listening to, she won't ask me for money. But I notice that, even after he's given her the dollar, she's still talking to this guy. So now I'm curious. What could she possibly have to talk about for so long? I decide learning this is worth a dollar. I take out my earphones and acknowledge her and the other guy. And she turns to me and asks if I'd like to donate a dollar to help the homeless prostitutes. I admire her honesty. She could've stopped at "Help the homeless" but she said "Help the homeless prostitutes." Because I don't know many people who want to support prostitution. They wanna help the prostitutes get off the streets and prostitute no longer. But here she's saying "Support us because we're homeless, but can't/won't make any efforts to stop prostituting ourselves." It's like a drug addict asking for help, but also stressing "I will definitely use again." Anyway, I give her the dollar. She goes into the usual vouching that solicitors tend to do. How this wasn't a scam and she's legit. She apparently works for the Health Department and she's accepting donations on their behalf. And sure, whatever. I would've given her the dollar regardless. But I do know there are homeless shelters around here that do this, send their tenants out to collect donations. Anyway, as an employee/contracted foot soldier of the Health Department, and as an active prostitute, she says we should be wary of STDs. She reaches into her purse and pulls out some condoms, stressing that she always carries condoms with her just in case.

"Just in case." I don't know if I've said this yet, but there are a lot of incels out there who find themselves caught up in discussions about sex and are afraid of being called on because they haven't had sex yet. I'm the opposite of that. I wish I could be in one of those conversations so I could say "I haven't had any sex and would really like to! Someone help me!!!" And here was exactly the opportunity I was looking for. I wanted to say "Just in case? I'm a virgin! Having sex isn't as easy for me as you might assume!" But instead it comes out as "I would carry condoms but I'm not having any sex." And so she's all like "What kind of girls do you like?" And before I can say "The ones who are interested in fucking me" the other guy at the bus stop says "Yeah I carry at all times too" and pulls out a pack of Magnums. And she's like "Oh, he's got Magnums!" I says to them "I can't use Magnums. I'm not packing anywhere near enough." And the prostitute is like "It's not the size, it's how you use it." Aha. She goes onto say "Take it from an old prostitute! I had this one man, he had a little dick? He made me cum." She had a heart of gold, that prostitute. And maybe she doesn't understand just how small I mean when I say I'm not Magnum. But this backs up that experiment @HorribleTeeth did, and the theory that women will put up with a small dick, that it's not an entire deal breaker.

https://incels.is/threads/just-received-a-brutal-blackpill-on-bumble.100298/

I guess it's because people don't like to be mean, so when you tell them upfront "The dick is not big," the first response is to be as nice as possible.

Also, @HorribleTeeth... I just... really hope you're still here after November 11th. :feelsbadman:

She points out that I have a lot of toilet paper. I say "Yeah, I need it all, on account of how I'm not having any sex." And she's like "Oh, because you're jacking off a lot." Yes! Very good! Most people don't get it when I say that but she picked up on it right away. I think I'm really hitting it off with this woman. The Magnum guy's bus shows up and he leaves us. It's just she and I. This is the situation I kinda hate. Because I don't know how to be a normal person in normal society, I don't know what I'm supposed to do from here. Just sit in silence and wait for her to initiate some kind of conversation? If I've learned anything from Tinder and Discord, people will always blame you first if things go quiet. YOU ghost THEM. But she asks me where I'm headed after this. I tell her I'm headed to a phone dealership to see if i can get a new battery for my phone. She says "Okay." And then there's silence again. Uhhhhhh... okay... what next... I'll ask her where she's headed! She says she's headed to get a drink. I say "Oh, there's a place to drink around here?" She says yeah. And then... THEN... she asks if I wanna have a drink with her. :dafuckfeels:

I don't have the time. I have stuff to do today. But also? And presumptuous as this sounds? I'm afraid I might get a kiss from her. And she might be carrying. A lot of people don't know that they're carrying. A lot of people might not even reveal that they're carrying. My own mother basically said "If you've got mouth herpes, you don't even need to be all upfront about it like that" in "The Comprehensive List Of Things Wrong With Me." Because everyone's got it. So how many people out there think like my mom? Maybe this prostitute? But third thing, I don't have the money to pay for my own drinks. And she's like "Oh, I didn't think you drank! :ROFLMAO:" And I'm like "I don't, but if you're inviting me..." Then my bus comes. And like most drunk/high/vagrant people in my city, she steps on the bus with me and starts playfully berating the bus driver to look after me while she's gone. And that I'm looking for a woman. And then we part ways. And initial fears over mouth herpes give way to regret. Damn. That old corner market stand hustler had some big cock milkers. Probably why she keeps in business even at her age. That and keeping condoms on her and not kissing on the mouth. I tell ya, I really really feel for people who have STDs. It's a dark and tragic truth you don't like to think about. People on incels.is and Looksmax be like "I'm ugly! It's over! It's so over!" And I don't wanna diminish that, you don't have to be flat out deformed to have valid insecurities about your body. But a lot of people seem to think that even if you have an STD, it's not over. If you're a girl, that is. But is that really how it is, or are we just misplacing our anger at society and coming up with crazy thoughts like "A woman with an STD can get any man she wants?" Here's the way I see it. People tell us incels "You're not ugly, I'm sure a woman would love you if you were confident and a good person." So we turn it around on them. "Okay, would you fuck me if I was a good and confident person?" The same litmus test should be applicable to us. If we're so desperate and women are so desirable, would WE fuck an ugly woman? I put it to a poll.

https://incels.is/threads/as-an-inc...wer-your-standards-to-be-with-someone.120499/

I made a poll asking what flaws you would accept in a woman if she would be with you. Currently stands at 61 individual voters. I wanna get it to at least 100. But as it stands now? In our defense yeah a lot of us would fuck an ugly chick if she wanted to be with us. "Looksmatched" and "Sub-looksmatch" each have lots of votes. Know what has just about the least though? "Has STDs/STIs." The only option lower than that is "Stacy or bust," which would be disingenuous if you're an incel. So surely with this poll as evidence, we have to understand that there's no "over" like "I have an STD" over. Even for women. Unless you're one of the 4 out of 61 who said they'd take a woman with STDs.

And me? I'm gonna have to join them, eventually. If I want my dreams to come true. I wanna live that slayer life. If I wanna have spur of the moment unprotected casual sex with strangers hopped up on Four Loko, I'm gonna have to put up with a little herpes, facts is facts. Also? I need more money. My arms were full of groceries so that was hindering me, but it's only so rarely that I have drinking money. I only really do it around the holidays. Also I only get cheap stuff like the odd can of Red Bull. I need more money. But there's no gym for your wallet. By the way, I still haven't finished the Instagram archive, obviously. But the more I go over what I have, the more I learn that the crazy stuff, like spur of the moment unprotected casual sex with strangers hopped up on Four Loko, that happens south of the border in Cinco de Mayo Land. For instance that video of the woman who stripped naked and was bouncing on the cock of that one guy while a crowd of people watched? That I posted in "XXX Marks the Spot 5?" That was on Rosarito Beach, but I found out exactly where on Rosarito Beach it was. I'm pretty sure it was at a beachfront nightclub called "Papas & Beer."

​


See that? That's probably the very bench those two fucked on. Can you match it up? Anyway, if you look up GIFs and clips from Papas & Beer, there's all sorts of drinking things out of people's asses and wanton public nudity and aggravated indecent exposure. Because as the comments on Instagram will tell you, if it looks like fun, it probably didn't happen in the United States. People in the United States would sue/call the #MeToo people. People only get away with these things south of the border. And there's no way I'm not catching herpes down there. So I better get my courage up.

I sometimes come by and look at that Papas & Beer broad daylight sex clip to try and see if I can manage an erection, so I can squeeze one out for the night. And recently something's puzzled me. I look at that woman, and women like her, I'm looking at their naked bodies. Their breasts, their asses, their thighs, their hips, their pussies, my eyes are drawn to it, my vision is filled with it. I can't help but be attracted to their erotic bodies. I wanna grab, grope, knead, squeeze, smack, suck, motorboat, blow kisses on these parts of their bodies. Anoint them in messy fluids. I feel this way. So all things square and equal, there must be women that feel this way about men, right? What evokes these feelings in women? What do they wanna grab and squeeze? What is the equivalent? I've thought a lot about this, and I wonder how much help Looksmax or incels.is is with this, because of their obsession with face and tradwives. They're not looking for, say, a Teresa Uribe.

​


They want traditional models. Pure as porcelain. I want somebody built like a porn star. Built for pounding and smearing things on. So they couldn't begin to tell me what the male equivalent of this is because they're not down with the female equivalent of this. So I had to figure this out without the help of Looksmax and incels.is. And the best I could figure is, I am to Teresa Uribe as women are to muscular guys. Buff guys are what the ladies admire like thicc Latina fuck machines are admired by men. So if I want women to feel that way about me? Well... I'm not saying they ever will, but it definitely won't happen unless I start lifting. Maybe it could? This thread on incels.is seems to suggest it could. As if it were a bad thing, if you can believe it.

https://incels.is/threads/i-still-c...s-who-think-chads-are-made-in-the-gym.120496/

Is he really saying if I get as swole as the guys in those pictures, I can slay trashy chicks as depicted in that thread? Because that's what I want. I haven't really figured out what my dynamics are yet. Still at it over on r/ShipDynamics. But how badly could lifting hurt my dynamic? On top of that? It's probably just better for me to lift. You know the once fattest man in the world? Manuel Uribe? No relation to Teresa Uribe? Know how he got as fat as he did? Desk work and Mexican food. I'm a desk worker. And here I am today pounding bottomless smothered burritos. Mexican food and desk work must be the secret. The way I eat and the way I don't exercise, I need to lift just to keep from getting fat, I think. Turn some of these calories into lean mass, if nothing else.

And so it starts... tomorrow. Cinco de Mayo will be my last day of fatceling, even though my BMI is typically only between 23 and 24, I don't think I'm fat. But whatever I am, skinnyfat or what, tomorrow I start lifting. I already bought the weights and have a routine planned out, tomorrow I kick things off. There's your answer, @FatmanO.
Click to expand...

Glad you are gonna start gymcelling, the right choice
 
"Fittit in the Routine" or "No Cake Day"

TL;DR: Today is the day I start gymceling. I ran into some problems figuring out how much weight I should lift, so I went to r/Fitness to participate in Moronic Monday. And it turns out I know very little, and they don't wanna clue me in on the cool routines until I complete a beginner's routine for a few months. So I'm gonna rely on the routines being posted in this thread.


It's my cake day!!! :soy: By which I mean it's the anniversary of the day I made it official with incels.is, Looksmax, and the incels.is family of products.

50318


3000+ posts. Look at that Gulden's Spicy Brown. It feels like I've been here all my life. And yet it's only been one year. This, I believe, is the secret to a fulfilling life. When you get older, the years seem to whisk by. Why? Because of routine. When you've done the same thing over and over you get numb to it. Numb to the world. You barely feel it going by. 2 weeks is nothing, it's the space between paychecks. A month is nothing, it's two paychecks. A season is nothing, it's 3 months. And next thing you know the years are burning away faster than you can make use of them. How is it that a year felt so full when I was in school? Because every new year of school was new. Therefore if the years feel like they're moving too fast, start doing new things. New things that kinda... take over your life. And you might be surprised at how much you can fit in a year.

Maybe that's how it'll be for me with this lifting thing. See how full the weeks and months to follow feel, following a regimen of lifting and eating and sleeping and supplementing. But there's a problem. I went and figured out what my one rep max is and everything and calculated that and bought weights that were light enough that I could do 10 or so reps with them, planned exercises around them, but problem is, the one rep max calculator I used?

strengthlevel.com

One Rep Max Calculator - Strength Level

Calculate your one-rep max (1RM) for any lift. Your one-rep max is the max weight you can lift for a single repetition for a given exercise.
strengthlevel.com strengthlevel.com

I put in my one rep max, and I took its word for what my 10 rep max was. Not so. I couldn't lift that weight for 10 reps for the exercise I was trying to do. So I took it to r/Fitness. And it just so happens they were having their weekly Moronic Monday thread where morons like me can ask questions.

​


I think I came in there with simple enough concerns. I had a regimen picked out rep ranges and all. I provided an example of an exercise I wanted to do. I don't think this thing has an actual name, but in the video they call it a Curl to Press to Double Tricep Extension.

​


I wanna do that for 10 reps. 4 sets of 10 reps. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. But they stop me before I can get into the nitty gritty of my plan and the rest of the exercises and say "First of all, a rep calculator isn't accurate, listen to your body." Fair enough. But then they say "Also that exercise is a waste of time, better to do each of those exercises separately. It might be hard for you to curl such-and-such weight for 10 reps, but it's probably a lot easier for you to press or extend that same weight, and therefore you shouldn't give your extensions and your presses the kind of weight you would give your biceps. Because it's too easy for them, they'll lag behind, you need to give each muscle the weight that's appropriate for them. If you thought that was a compound exercise, it's not, it's just transitioning between three isolation exercises."

So now I might have to throw out a bunch of my routine! Okay, well, maybe Fittit can help me decide on different exercises. They suggest one of the beginner ones. And I understand why they'd do that, because that's where beginners are supposed to go. But I'm trying to get gymnast biceps. And so I wanna pick a program that's as close to what the gymnasts do, because gymnasts get biceps that even bodybuilders don't get. Bodybuilders tend to have an "even all over" look. I don't want that. I want big, spherical biceps. Somehow bodybuilders with all their curls aren't getting these biceps. But the gymnasts are. So what are the gymnasts doing that's different from a standard curl? Following the advice of somebody who DOES have the biceps I want, Jeff Cavaliere, he suggested "transition between movements under high loads."

​


But the only thing I have that Jeff Cavaliere has for that is a pull-up bar, and I don't have the hamstrings to do an L-sit. So I can't do the "Lever Raise to L-Sit Pull-Up to Swiveling L." I can't straighten my legs that well. So I thought I could somehow replicate the same formula with dumbbells. I thought moving heavy dumbbells through space with my arms was just as good. But Fittit doesn't seem to think so. Someone suggested weighted chin-ups. But I'm wary of that because, again, lots of people do chin-ups. But it's only these gymnasts who are getting the freak biceps. If I can get freak biceps without being a gymnast (or using drugs or fillers or implants) I'll do it, I'm not saying this has to be a gymnast workout, in fact I'm saying the opposite, that's why I tried to do it with dumbbells. But there's gotta be something special to getting gymnast biceps besides regular ol' curls and regular ol' chin-ups, because everyone does those and very few people, even bodybuilders, have juicy gymnast biceps. Some twist or trick to it. But what do I know? Maybe it is weighted chin-ups. They said "Wait until you can do 10 chin-ups, then add weight." I already can do 10 chin-ups. So how much weight do I add? To what failure? To my 8 rep max? 6 rep max? What? And that's when they stopped giving me information. They told me to pick a beginner program and build foundational strength. So I says to 'em I says "How do I know when I have a strong foundation? When can I get your secret to gymnast biceps that the ladies wanna squeeze and kiss?" But they wouldn't tell me how many chin-ups I needed to be able to do to get the secret. I can already do a set of 10. Tested it out and everything. Head over the bar. It really hurt, but I did it. So if that's not "foundational strength," what is?

I got no roadmap but these beginner programs. And I don't trust them. Not to suck my own cock or nothin', but I might be ready for something more advanced. Once again, the question of my progress hinges on "What is my dynamic? Am I a bicep routine guy?" I feel like I am. If not, just tell me what it is so I can know how un-ready I am. How do they know I haven't already done the beginner routine? What if I go and do it and then come back after a few months? How would I prove that I did it? You would have to take my word for it. So why not just tell me the routine and let me be the navigator of my own trip to Snap City?

I know! I'll use the routine @Lorsss posted.

Lorsss said:
i just post the routine of the most important muscles

shoulders:
lateral dumbell raise, laying on a side at the floor: 2 sets
barbell shoulder press, sit on a bench: 2 sets
"keeping the barbell overhead" isometrically: 1 set
rest: 3 minutes

traps:
2 reps of dumbell shrugs (no cheating, straight arms)

neck:
neck curls: 1 set
neck plank on a parallel bar: 1 set
isometrical neck curl: 1 set

biceps:
regular curls (no cheating) 2 sets
curls on oblique bench: 1 set
isometrical curl: 1 set

chest:
chest machine 1 set
bench press 2 sets
one-hand push-ups
plyometric push-ups
some gymnastics exercises

abs
abs roll on knees (full ROM): 2 sets
leg raises on parallel bars: 2 sets
isometrical leg raise: 1 set

diet
carbos 7 times a day: pasta broth or tomato spaghetti (I'm Italian)\
fats 3 times a day (olive oil or peanut butter)
protein 4 times a day (eggs, tuna, chicken, deli)
sugar twice a day (orange juice)

steroids?
I don't take roids because I am not able to buy them at the moment (aromasin and liver protector drugs are also required), and I'm afraid of side effects like ageing, ance, hair loss, hearth and liver diseases
Click to expand...

I just need to know how he splits these up. What days he does what and how often he does those days. Oh, and... huh, I don't have a chest machine. Or an ab roller. One of which I can go get within the hour. But isn't the chest machine just a bench pressing motion? Can't I do that with dumbbells? How about this: I'll go and get the ab roller, and do what of this I can tonight.
 
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"Gymceling Is A Nightmare" or "Biceps Are Built in the Bedroom"

In the words of Peregrin Took as he indulged himself in the spoils of the Destruction of Isengard, I feel like shit. I felt like shit yesterday after I woke up from my lifting. Thought I might feel better after a rest day. Nope. It's like I can't sleep enough. I mean, I'm "awake" now, I guess, but when I first stirred from my sleep I was like "Oh no. Oh God please let me sleep some more." I'm barely cognizant, it's a hassle just typing this.

It's all coming back to me. I wasn't supposed to start lifting if I couldn't adequately rest. Talked about that in "The Comprehensive List Of Things Wrong With Me." I'm awake now, sure. But what has this done for any muscle growth I should've gotten as I slept last night? Shouldn't I feel up and ready to go? I'm supposed to lift again tonight if I wanna do the "every other day" training. If I'm not waking up rested and energized, am I even making gains?

I think the lack of sleep gave me a nightmare. I had a pretty graphic one where I faked my own suicide. I was on an episode of the original Twilight Zone, right? And everything was black and white. I was at the end of the episode and I was getting ready to shoot myself. I put on the song "I'll Be Seeing You," it was this slow, dreamy cover. I held a snubnose revolver in my hand. I wasn't gonna actually shoot myself, I was faking my suicide. I was gonna fire it at the wall for some reason though. I sobbed hysterically as I cocked the hammer, gun aimed. Then I started to slowly squeeze on the trigger, and I started screaming for some reason. The terror I felt was real, even though I was just shooting the wall. Then I fired. And then I laid down with my head in my arms? That's how I played dead. And then Rod Serling walked into the room to give the closing words. I was careful not to move or breathe, he was not to notice me.

I don't understand how you people do this. You need to sleep. Need to. But where do you find the time when you have a job? To sleep, but also complete a full lifting routine? And I keep waking up in the middle of the night. That's not normal, right? Because muscle repair happens during deep sleep. The less deep sleep you get, the less growth.

TL;DR:
 
"Mother's Day Card" or "Bring Back MANswers"

TL;DR: For Mother's Day my mother and I got Tarot readings. But I need some help from the occult community here. Help interpreting my reading. The reader told me to focus on what it was I was concerned about and I told her I was focusing on my career struggles. And she interpreted the spread like it was about my career. But I was actually wondering about my inceldom, and my struggle to ascend/slay. So I need someone to interpret the spread as it relates to me and my inceldom struggle. Unless I screwed up the reading by lying to the reader and I have to throw the whole spread out? Does it only work if I'm honest with the reader or does this spread still apply to my inceldom struggle? If so, there's one thing I do understand from that reading and it's the Tower card. It means "sudden, dramatic change." So it's time to break out of my rut. I went ahead and made a new Tinder seeking shadow opportunities to learn how to be a normal person. Maybe learning how to be a normal person will lead to learning what kind of men get lusted after by women, same as how women are lusted after by men. But according to my thread r/PurplePillDebate, there is no such man because women aren't driven to fuck like men are. Hence why women like Alyssa Milano have the tolerance to withhold sex, as punishment for us lizard-brained men. Bad news for me, because I hoped to strive towards the ideal that women feel the same way about that I feel for women. And people are telling me women just don't usually get that kind of horny. If only MANswers was around to investigate this phenomenon. MANswers was a show unafraid to say "Hey men, you wanna get laid, and we will help you do it." Because it aired in a time when, culturally, we weren't so judgmental of shows like that. MANswers tells us, for instance, if you wanna fuck an older woman, Mother's Day is the day to do it. If MANswers friendly times were here again, I wonder what else MANswers could teach us?

For Mother's Day I took my mom out to get a Tarot reading. She's really into that stuff. But I could use some extra opinions interpreting the readings.

https://incels.is/threads/i-hear-so...pinions-on-this-these-tarot-reading-s.121576/

She got a reading, but I also got a reading. Problem is, when the reader asked me what my question was, what I was focused on when we were holding the cards together and beseeching the cards, I lied. I said I was interested in improving my career, but I was actually thinking about my inceldom and how I wanna get invited to college parties that turn into orgies. There are some people here and on incels.is that dabble in the occult. Like @First loss. I'm wondering if people like him can tell me if I fucked up the reading by lying to the reader, or if the cards secretly answered my ascension question and not the career question.

The corresponding cards of my spread are as follows.

52663
52664
52665
52666
52667

The only interpretation I have of this spread is from a perspective of worrying about my career. But I wasn't asking in my heart about my career, I was secretly wondering about ascension. So if this actually is a reflection of my ascension journey, I don't have an interpretation for it. I'm hoping @First loss can step in here. But even if he can't, what I do know of this spread is that The Tower means "sudden, dramatic change." So if there's something I'm wondering about doing on my path to ascension, I should do it, especially if it shakes me out of this rut that I'm in.

How's this for sudden, dramatic change? My phone's been having trouble holding a charge. I'm told that's because it's an old phone and the battery is simply dying. So while I was shopping for Mother's Day, I decided to get a new phone. And because I was getting a new phone, I decided to start a new Tinder account. For the purpose of looking for people who will let me shadow them and learn how to do things like a normal human. Just like I talked about doing. I figure my old Anselmfishing account is probably buried by low ELO score by now, best to start fresh.

52669

That's me. Let's see how I do! It was @razerftw that said social media was the key to "Full Slayer Mode." If I wanna network, I need to get the Tinders and Instagrams of people in my area.

razerftw said:
First of all I dumped my girlfriend and I started to build my social media, I got around 1000 girls from Ukraine to follow me on instagram after doing badoo/tinder game for like 1 month straight.

Then I went to Ukraine and started meeting all these girls and making stories every days so other girls see that I am around other hot girls every day to get my social status up. In the end I got in many social circles, learned russian better, and got many lays.

Around 90% of the girls I slayed in Ukraine came to my place on the first day after a simple walk outside, this is because I filtered out any girl that I felt that wold waste my time with dates.
Click to expand...

Is this how college kids get invited to parties? They start by exchanging Instagrams or Snapchats or something? Is this how they hook up with their classmates? How do you go from freshman fresh off the boat to "Hey can you come down to this party and take your shirt off?" Because that's the path I wanna travel.

I believe there are women out there who feel for men the way I feel about women. Sexually, I mean. And that's what I hope to learn from this Tinder thing, and learn from other things. What kind of man that is. So I can try and emulate that man. But even though I believe this archetypical man exists, and I believe there are archetypical women out there who lust after him, I can't help but wonder sometimes. Wonder about how there just don't seem to be very many horny women on the Internet. You'd think if women were just as sexual as men when it comes to whatever they're into, you'd see a bunch of women heading for that kind of content on the Internet. There are so many Twitch thots and tittystreamers. Why? Because there are so many men who like to look at tits on the Internet. So you'd think, if women were as sexual as men, there'd be some demand somewhere for whatever sexual stuff it is women wanna see on the Internet. Or take subreddits like r/DirtySnapchat or r/dirtyr4r or r/VirginityExchange. Subreddits for both men and women seeking sexual content. But the economy is totally stunted. A woman offers sex or nudes, the responses pile up. A man offers sex or nudes? Well, just go on the subreddits. Acres and acres of untouched M4x posts. Zero responses. In the words of u/elusive456...

​


But why is it like this? Women must like sex, women must like nudes. Because men like these things, and there's no reason we should assume women can't have sex drives like men have sex drives, right? But the women aren't hitting the men up like the men hit up the women. Not on Reddit or Twitch or anywhere I can find. So where are they? If they do like nudes, there should be a bunch of women somewhere unaccounted for to balance out the amount of men that are just everywhere on the Internet. Right?

Well, I asked r/PurplePillDebate.

​


And the overwhelming consensus, from men AND women, seems to be "No, women do NOT have sex drives like men do." Beeg soup rice, right? Well, for me it was. Because just the other day Woke Twitter was coming after Alyssa Milano because she was like "Women should stick it to the boys and withhold sex from them, as a protest against them withholding our reproductive rights from us." Woke Twitter was like "That's bad, Alyssa Milano! Perpetuating this patriarchical thinking that sex and sexual things are something only men like and that women don't like as much as men." So I thought "Okay so there must be a lot of women out there who love porn and are angry at Alyssa Milano." But while I believe that in my heart, I have to ask, where are they? Why don't I see them on these co-ed subreddits? Or ANYWHERE? An imageboard, something, anything! I could maybe buy the thinking that the demand from women is there, but the supply from men is not. Men don't wanna make porn that women like because it's probably gay stuff. But first of all, that just raises more questions. I can tell you why I don't wanna do gay stuff, because it's gay. But why are there then so many women who are willing to put up their bodies for my sexual enjoyment? All things square and equal, women shouldn't wanna do anything I and so many other men wouldn't wanna do, right? Second, there's other kinds of sexual content besides nudes from men. The imageboards, the Danboorus and Gelboorus, there's 2D and CGI porn that women could be enjoying. You don't need a man to make those, in fact you need a woman, a woman who is into that kind of stuff. Because you should make what you're into. Therefore if there are women making clam chowder over fantasies of burly bara husbandos, all things square and equal there should be just as many of them as there are men lusting after 2D life and hometown. But there ain't. And no one's stopping women from making this porn and enjoying it. Some women say "Oh but we're stigmatized." So are men. You know what has a stigma attached to it? Being a pedophile. And yet as of today on Gelbooru the "loli" tag alone stands at 196,396 posts. And probably growing. Shota? 61,111 posts. Yaoi? 63,266 posts. The posts are low either because women aren't drawing it, or women aren't sharing it. And if they are as sexual creatures as men are, I can't think of any excuse as to why they wouldn't. And third, the supply from men IS there, I just pointed it out on those subreddits. And you might say "Well there's not much of it." But all that means is that the M4x posts should be even more packed with thirsty women than the F4x posts are packed with thirsty men. Low supply, high demand, women should be tearing the fences down like the Beatles were in town. But it's the other way around. Willing men are coming forward like "Hey does anyone wanna see sexualized depictions of men? Anyone? If not from me, from who? Where are all of the buyers?"

This is bad news for me. Because I wanted there to be an idea of a man that women pursue like men pursue women in porn and sexting and on and on. Even if that man was an impossible ideal to strive for. It's the whole reason I started lifting. Because I see all these women mirin' big dudes, I thought "Okay, so that must be the heterosexual female equivalent." But it might just be that women just don't get it up for men like that. Plenty of actual women say so. But in the cope-acetic words of IncelTearsian denial, maybe the sample was wrong? Maybe I should've gone on r/AskWomen. Maybe they can tell me where all of the horny women are.

You know what would be a real help right now? MANswers. Remember that show? They were on cases like these. For instance, it was MANswers who MANswered where all the horny MILFs are. If you want to get with an older woman, according to MANswers you should strike around Mother's Day. Why? Because, like my mother, a lot of moms start to feel needy/in the mood around Mother's Day. The need/mood for affection. Because maybe their nest is empty and they need someone around. Maybe they feel unattractive, with every passing Mother's Day they're reminded "I'm not a young woman anymore." So if there's some young Cougarlife.com sap she can snatch up, she's gonna snatch him up. And if you wanna get snatched up, Mother's Day is the day to put yourself out there. MANswers had the figures to back it up. I strive to be like MANswers with my Instagram audit. MANswers holds a very special place in my heart. Because it represents a true golden age for when it was okay to be a man. When men weren't scrutinized and demonized, when all the ills of society weren't placed on their shoulders. Back when Spike TV was Spike TV and not... what is it now? Paramount Network. Why is it Paramount Network now? Because it's "bad" to be as overtly masculine a network as Spike TV was. You can make a network for women and the interests women have, but to do that for men? Oh no, that's too narrow minded. Besides, men have "enough stuff."

I'm not saying Spike wasn't criticized back when. But the critiques were "This is lowbrow." Not "This is sexist/offensive or alienating of women." It was understood, yeah it's schlock for dudes. It never claimed to be anything else. If you want highbrow, highbrow exists. If you want women's programming, women's programming exists. Nobody is out there bitching to Lifetime or Oxygen that they need more men's programming. So people, while acknowledging that Spike was meathead TV for meatheads, let Spike be. So when did it start to go wrong? When was the sign that culture was changing into a thing that didn't really like Spike stuff as much? When the Guys Choice Awards were cancelled? No, I think the first sign came a lot earlier. When MANswers was... cancelled? No, when MANswers lost executive producer Michael Schelp. It was around this time that they said "You know what? MANswers, this show called MANswers, needs to cater to women. So we'll put in women's stuff." And I'm not saying women shouldn't have programming, but the show is called "MANswers." This is essentially saying "Men can't have a thing that's just theirs." And if that's the rule, surely women can't have a thing that's just theirs. Why doesn't Lifetime produce a sappy $2 made-for-TV movie about a man who is a victim of the terrors of a woman? Because when it comes to all these stories about bad men terrorizing women, in the words of Jordan Peele, "I've heard that story already." But anyway, it was December 2010, heading into 2011, that things changed for MANswers. That change was the sign that being just for men was a bad thing. And it was all downhill from there.

I think maybe the entire 20-teens have been a waste of time. The aughts, ah, that's where it was at. But as I've said before, each decade brings about a unique zeitgeist. The aughts were good, the teens are bad, surely the New Roaring 20s will be different in some way. Hopefully for the better.
 
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"Safe Sex" or "Irresponsible Adults"

TL;DR: Did you hear about Doug over on incels.is? This morning he posted some bad stuff and is no longer welcome on incels.is or Looksmax or any associated site that will ever be made. Also this morning, I had the first "cold sore" breakout I can remember. It's got me thinking about what strain of herpes actually lives in me, and the possibility that it could be the bad/worse one. And what people who are consigned to living with this kind of baggage can hope to deserve as far as a sex life. Speaking of sex, there's a whole lotta kerfuffle over Alabama recently thanks to new anti-abortion legislation. Pundits and celebrities are, once again, sounding off about it. But notice how whenever these people discuss an issue, it's always so oversimplified and dismissive? Maybe it's the character limit on Twitter. Doesn't allow for people to say everything they really feel.

I woke up this morning to two great horrors. First, Doug over on incels.is? He posted... something... horrible. And as a result has been banned for perpetuity by @Ryo_Hazuki, I think it was? He was the one who spoke on it, but what was posted was so flat-out agin' the law that the mods might've just rocked up to him OK Corral style and blasted him before anyone could figure out who landed the kill shot. I give my thoughts on the matter here. If I could, I would say something to IncelTears here. I know how it make-a they deek horde to see "sane incels" showing restraint. Here ya go. Sleep well knowing that the prevailing opinion over on incels.is is that what Doug posted was unacceptable. Yes, we do have a line. We're not complete monsters.

So shocked was I at the sight of Doug's failings that I almost missed the second great horror. I felt something on my lip. I go to check the mirror. What do I see??? A cyst. :dafuckfeels: A single cyst that I have been careful not to touch with my fingers or even my tongue. Not to touch at all, save for frequent delicate swabbing with alcohol soaked tissue paper. I don't know if this helps or makes it worse or does nothing. I've been talking a lot about the whole "herpes" thing recently. About how I'm afraid of it, but at the same time I must come to terms with it if I wanna live like a wild man someday. And how I probably already had it. I'm sure at some point in the past I've broken out in a "cold sore" or two. But... I was happier when I didn't actually remember having a breakout. Because then it was like "Well, maybe. Probably. Most likely. But potentially not. I think I remember having a breakout before but I'm not totally sure. Therefore maybe it didn't actually happen. Maybe it was actually something else." But here I stand, May 15th, 2019, this morning I awoke to a cyst on my lip. I don't know how long these last and I'm afraid to look it up. STD/STI literature is always so grim. Because let's say I don't have herpes. Well, I mean, this... there's no way this isn't some kind of herpes. But let's say this is HSV-1, the "cold sore" one. Maybe I can be like "Whew! Sure am glad I'm not like those OTHER people who DO have Real Herpes!" But what will be done for them? It's heavy to think about. Even if I didn't have herpes, some people do, and they have to live with that struggle in a world that doesn't want them to have sex. Because that's the precaution we teach. "Don't have sex with anybody dirty. Make sure you know your partner is clean." We don't say anything for if one's partner isn't clean. We don't really teach to worry about that. That's why people with STDs are always talking about "the stigma." And how they're trying to fight it, fight this thinking that people with STDs should be shoved to the side and not have sex. But I say this as someone who, right now, at least FEELS pretty doomed to a life of herpes: We're asking people to be lax about diseases. I don't think that's realistic to ask people. But then, there's always the human element you can play to. Anybody remember that one commercial back when AIDS was real big, there was this kid who was like "Hello, I have AIDS. Will you play basketball with me?" And then he was like "Do you know someone who will?" The story of the commercial was, the kid was born with AIDS. He obviously wasn't fucking around, well, maybe if he knows Doug. And the commercial asks you, surely you don't want this AIDS kid to be alone and friendless all his life, right? Yes, AIDS is deadly and that's something to fear. But what's to be said about the other half of this very complex issue? That the lives of bystanders are being unfairly destroyed by this?

Speaking of complex issues, I woke up this morning to two great horrors. But I came home to a 3rd.

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Or is that 48? 48 little horrors? Or one big one? You probably heard the news that's been blowin' up Twitter since, well, actually last night, Alabama drafted a brand new law that "regulates" abortions to the point that they're functionally illegal. For abortions starting at 6 weeks or older, I think it was? Anyway, the incels.is Twitter has been embattled in it, and so have I, apparently. I was at work, just leavin' a Tweet here and a Tweet there. Then I come home to see the garden of my folly. While I was at work, no one had responded yet. But I get home, and they all finally caught up with me. Maybe I shouldn't have set up camp at those celebrity Tweets.

Celebrity Tweets. Know why I think people get mad at celebrities for going political? It's not because they're celebrities and aren't allowed to have opinions. It's that these are complex issues we're dealing with, and their opinions are always, ALWAYS so oversimplified and dismissive. Like this abortion thing. A complicated and nuanced issue. But celebrities aren't interested in having any discussions. Whenever a celebrity talks about a political issue, they're talking about action. Not discussion, not answering people's concerns, ACTION against a matter-of-factly incorrect enemy. Such And Such Thing is bad! Definitely bad! And we need to take action! So people who like that thing are like "Hold on, there's a side to this story you haven't considered! You don't even care about my concerns, I didn't shit on your concerns and now you're shitting on mine like I'm the bad guy!" Because these celebrities don't actually see another valid side to these issues. In fact, they wouldn't be talking if they did. Because remember back when celebrities weren't so political? I'm not talking about the pre-Twitter days, it doesn't take Twitter for a celebrity to have a voice. But think back to the times when it was rare for a celebrity to make a statement. When did we get statements? When we were dealing with issues that were so pertinent that there were no "two sides" or "nuance." Like when Sinead O'Connor went on SNL to protest child abuse. That's not complicated, right? Doesn't sound complicated, does it? Child abuse is bad and shouldn't be. It's only when something feels matter-of-factly wrong that celebrities take a stand. So maybe you're thinking "Hey if it was just one woman's body, she can do whatever she wants with it, I'm not out to change anyone's sex life. But this isn't about the woman, this is about her baby, and the irresponsible choices of the two adults that were supposed to not even bring her into the world in the first place if they didn't want to have a baby. This is about having a standard against baby murder." You probably care a lot about baby murder, if you feel that abortion, if only certain kinds of abortion, are baby murder. But if celebrities are out there like "Nope, all abortion is fine and necessary and we must fight the idea that it isn't. Fight it, not listen to it or address its concerns" then you'd be mad, right? Mad at how ignorant they're being?

I don't think this Alabama thing is gonna go away. I wonder if it'll be like North Carolina and its bathroom bills. In which case, get ready for a whole lotta headaches. But also? Many opportunities to at least try and have discussions with ignorant people, some of them celebrities, and maybe come to some kind of an understanding on this.

Did you know Patricia Heaton from Everybody Loves Raymond is pro-life? That's why she hasn't been Tweeting about any of this today. Oh, you Patriarchy. And your... powerful... women.
 
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"Bathroom Bill" or "In Pursuit of a Dream"

TL;DR: I think I saw a trans person on the elevator today. And while I didn't mean to, I think I made things awkward for the both of us. When I got off the elevator, I went to use the restroom on the floor I got off on, and got hassled for using that particular bathroom. Is that irony? But being hassled about wanting to go to that bathroom, it made me feel like an immigrant.

You've almost certainly seen this "meme" passed around, right?

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Why is this true? Because women don't go for jacked dudes? But I think this phenomenon is less about "Muscles don't bring in women" and more about "Muscles absolutely bring in men." Other men who hope to be muscular. I felt this today. I saw this dude in the elevator today, and he had what I call "gymnast biceps." Which I want. My first instinct was to compliment him. Ask him for the recipe. But before the wolf whistle could escape my lips? I noticed his shoes. His hair. His... earrings? Maybe I'm remembering it wrong. But from looking at this guy, it dawned on my that they were probably trans. And suddenly the situation was a lot more complicated.

I started hashing it out in my head, Inside Out style. Probably shouldn't draw attention to their manly biceps, right? But why not? You don't get arms like that by accident. That is someone going female to male. That is someone on some serious male hormone therapy. But... but wait, the feminine clothing. Those are feminine clothes. That is a feminine haircut. I swear I see earrings. They wouldn't signal as female if they didn't wanna be identified as female, right? Nah, this is male-to-female. Alright, fine, just don't say anything. Fuck me for wanting to make small talk, right? Sure small talk can be annoying. But nowadays I'm some kind of harasser for approaching a woman(?) with small talk. Fuck this. I am not a monster. Oh, I'll leave her(?) alone, but I'm very angry at society for making this more complicated than it has to be. I just wanna say "nice biceps." But you can't say that. You can't say much of "nice" anything because everyone's a fucking baby about that. You wanna compliment my arms? You wanna compliment my ass? I'll survive. Will you? Fuck you, society. Fuck you and your "You're making me uncomfortable" eggshells.

And before I could finish my internal rant, the elevator had reached my floor. But you could've cut the tension with a knife. It was absolutely a two-way street. I didn't know whether to avert my gaze so as not to be awkward, or if it was even more awkward to avert my gaze. But this trans person, they were withdrawn themselves. I'm guessing as a defense mechanism. They probably feel pretty insecure, going out and about mid-transition. When I got off the elevator, two women approached the elevator and asked "Is this elevator going down?" The trans person didn't answer verbally. I'm deafer than the Comedy Jam, but I was close enough to hear, and this trans person didn't answer the two women. Maybe they shook their head, but they didn't speak. Just drifting to and fro, trying to get by with their head above water. That was very awkward for the both of us, because both of us were clearly trying to avoid engaging the other.

I was riding the elevator to get to this bathroom that I like to use in the office complex. See, the bathroom that's "assigned" to my suite, it's on a highly trafficked floor. So people are always in and out of there, it's like a ballpark bathroom. No privacy, no peace. So I go to this other bathroom. This office complex is pretty vast, and so there are all sorts of hidden corners in hard to reach places. This secluded bathroom is one of them. I've been using this bathroom for years now. And most of the time I have no problems. But recently I've run into this guy. I think he actually works in the area that this bathroom "belongs" to. And when I first ran into him he's like "Hey I see you using this bathroom a lot, do you not have your own bathroom? I'm not saying you're not allowed to use this bathroom, I'm just wondering why you're going all this way to use this one. Because I don't see you around this area, so I don't think you work nearby." He's right, I am allowed to use this bathroom. This is still technically a public area of the complex. Any bum off the street could use this bathroom provided they could find it. But I use this bathroom because of how low traffic it is. And how clean it is. I explain to him that the bathroom I'm "supposed" to use is almost always in use. And he's like "So it's entirely full?" No, it isn't. It's clear that the way this guy sees it, unless that bathroom is literally unusable, I have no reason to go all this way to use a better bathroom. So if I was to say "Well no, but I don't wanna pee while someone is taking a shit in the next stall over" he wouldn't think that's a very good excuse. And like with the trans guy from today, I'm just trying not to butt heads. And neither is he. So he doesn't dig too deep and leaves me to my business. That day. But I've run into him repeatedly now and then, and every time I run into him he's got this incredulous, I'm guessing passive-aggressive laugh at seeing me. Like "Wow, you're up here again! Haha! I just don't get it! Haha! That you can't use the bathroom closer to you! Hahaha!" And I ran into him again today. Just one of many encounters with this bathroom gatekeeper. And him telling me to go back to my own bathroom got me thinking.

https://incels.is/threads/i-have-a-story-thats-also-a-metaphor.122093/

This bathroom debacle is kind of a metaphor. No, not a trans person metaphor. I think it's more of a metaphor for immigration. I'm hoping people can weigh in. Don't I, living in the poor conditions of my shitty bathroom, deserve a better bathroom? Or should I just be doomed to suffer for no fault of my own?
 
Today at 6:07 AM
 
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Ritalincel said:
Today at 6:07 AM
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Insomniac said:
View attachment 55782
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Oh yeah, that did happen today! 6:00 AM though? I'm guessing Papua New Guinea?

"Fast Banana" or "The Streets Are Coldest In The Summertime"

TL;DR: Like they said, on May 19th I bought pudding from a homeless man and his daughter. And I also bought an air fryer for my mom. And when I went to go buy it, I noticed how dead the streets are now that the college year has ended. That was always a peeve of mine, and once upon a time it was my ambition to go where the city never sleeps. Not really my ambition anymore though. My ambition now is to go where the girls on Snapchat and Instagram never sleep.


Memorial Day is on the way. That's when "summer" starts here in the United States. From Memorial Day to Labor Day, that's summer. And for that, my parents are gearing up. I actually just got back from picking up something called an "air fryer" from Wal-Mart. It's around this time my mom gets to drinking, and when she gets to drinking she gets to throwing money around. I'm over my parents' house now with a few others, but earlier today a guy and his daughter came by with a backpack full of banana pudding. I was outside starting the grill up, which I was puzzled by because if my mom wants to grill, what is the air fryer for. But this guy and his daughter come up and he's all like "We lost everything in a fire, we're trying to get back on our feet, we're selling banana pudding $10 a pint, it's a family recipe." Family recipe. I obviously can't leave them like this. I run inside to get my wallet because it's in my good pants. Long story short, we all end up buying a jar each. Now, my parents trusted the guy. But I was wary. Sure I'll give him the money, but what if he's some kinda maniac who gets off sexually from poisoning people randomly with banana pudding? I asked in that thread above.

https://incels.is/threads/a-homeles...just-sold-me-a-pint-of-banana-pudding.122481/

It was good looking pudding, in a Golden Harvest mason jar. Maybe I just didn't have much to live for, but I was tired of waiting for an answer in that thread and the rest of my family had already eaten theirs so I figured "The worst it can do is kill me" and I ate the pudding. It was good pudding. I wish him success. But also, if he IS a scam artist, now he knows that my parents' house as a mark. The people who come by here are a bunch of saps who will either give up money easy, or hey if they got money to throw around on $10 pudding they probably have some things we can break into this house and steal. If you've got a daughter to raise and things are desperate? I'm just saying I could imagine it. But... he's obviously got the resources to make and sell banana pudding. I'm guessing they're living with a family member right now. I'm glad. I'm glad they're not HOMELESS homeless. A lot of people are.

It's late May. And as I went between my parents' house and Wal-Mart I noticed something about the area. I happened to pass through the "College District" as well. Semester's up. School year's over. The graduation Hallmark cards are in stock in all the stores. And all the college kids are outta here. Back home. And everything's just dead. By comparison. I mean it's not an ABSOLUTE ghost town, but there is real effect. Restaurants and stuff, they've got these makeshift signs in the door talking about their new "Summer Hours." Which every year is code for "All of the students went back home so no one's coming by therefore we're closing earlier." I don't know if I like it. On the one hand, there's a melancholy appeal to walking the streets in the early twilight of around... 6 PM-ish, through streets that used to be teeming with people. Now quiet. Just drink in the silence. Drink in the boredom. Mmmmm, it's peaceful. But on the other hand... y'know this "Get out of this city and find out where all the hoes at" quest I'm on? That's more of a recent quest. I didn't always have that quest. But for a while now I have wanted to get out of this city. I wanted to live in a city that's alive all the time. New York City, that was the dream for a while. Was the dream. I don't want to so much anymore, because I Tinder'd in New York City and it's... well it's not a real Do It For State kinda place, is it? So not New York City. Well, maybe New York City. If by some miracle I achieve the Do It For State Slutty Snapchat Compilation lifestyle, then grow tired of it. I can hang up my dick and wile away the rest of my years in the ceaseless din of as major a city as I can find in the United States. Just let me sow these oats, and then I'm done forever, I think.
 
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very long & easy read
 
did not read the slightest part of a pixel of a letter
 
you need to write a book
 
The Dude Abides said:
you need to write a book
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This is the book.

"Socially Responsible Porn" or "What's Cool for the Goose is Cruel for the Gander"

TL;DR: Today was declared a holiday. "1-4-3 Day," to honor Fred Rogers of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. To celebrate, I spare a sympathetic thought for Arya Toufanian, and the empire he lost. I wanna try and talk to him about which colleges have the party scene I'm looking for.

Dig this, apparently today is a holiday. I'm only just learning about it now, because I think it was invented just now. "1-4-3 Day." Because it's May 23rd, the 143rd day of this year. What do you get for 1-4-3 Day? Presents? No. You get to remember Mr. Rogers. Of the Neighborhood. Because, apparently, I never heard of this, but Mr. Rogers would use the numbers "1-4-3" to say "I love you." Because "I" has 1 letter, "love" has 4 letters, and "you" has 3 letters. Never heard anything like this. And I was practically raised on PBS. So today is a day of love and outreach. Yeah, that's good. Love and outreach are good, I can agree with that.

Here's another number of the day: 12,907. That's how many Instagram posts are in my latest haul. Courtesy of the I'm Shmacked Instagram page. They run a YouTube Channel, a Twitter page, and a Facebook that hasn't been touched since 2017, but it's their Instagram that gets the most frequent and most recent updates. Each one must be hand-inspected to make sure the geotags are accurate because, as mentioned in "Cleansing of the Temple," geotags can be wrong if you're not the one who took the picture. Here's an older picture that they did take though.

​


"Throwback from JMU." James Madison University in Harrisonburg, Virginia. So, add JMU to the list and keep on going through the collection until I've looked at all of the pictures of interest, listed all of the colleges each of those pictures were taken at, and then see which college/region comes up the most. Right? Well wait a minute, that picture was from 2012. That's kind of a ways back. Remember 2012? GMod videos were big, the Mayan Apocalypse was gonna end the world, those were exciting times. Things have changed since then for James Madison University. In fact, things had changed for James Madison University as early as 2014. Where once they were taking their clothes off for Shmacked. now they were getting turned away. Not by college administration, but by the students themselves. Frat brothers.

https://www.breezejmu.org/life/i-m-...cle_46c04ff6-8232-11e3-af3d-0019bb30f31a.html

So did JMU clean up their act? They seem to not welcome organizations like Shmacked anymore. Or is it just Shmacked they have a problem with, and other promoters who are kinda like Shmacked can still come?

Lemme get into what I'm Shmacked is. They're in the same family as Do It For State, Total Frat Move, Barstool Sports, Chive, uhhhhh... I think LAD Bible is in that same family... Truly Frat, Old Row is a good example. Websites or whatever that encourage and catalogue college debauchery. Or "douchebaggery" as Jezebel calls it. Business Insider calls Shmacked "The Brand That Glorifies The Worst Parts Of College Partying." Founded by two friends, Arya Toufanian and Jeffrie "Yofray" Ray, Shmacked doesn't just accept Snapchats and Instagram photos though, they go out to colleges to try and start parties. They scout each college to see what the party scene there is like. Valuable, valuable information for me. Kinda exactly what I'm looking for. And they rocked up to James Madison one year and tried to get in on the frat parties like they did last time, but they were turned away by the very frats that once welcomed them warmly. The frat boys were all like "We don't cotton to that kind of recklessness it sends a bad message about James Madison and what it represents and blah blah blah." So I'm Shmacked strikes back on Twitter, insulting James Madison University and its Greek life as revenge.

​


Shmacked also came after Business Insider, and one of their then-editors Caroline Moss. Now, Jezebel, they call it a "rape threat." And it's not "gentlemanly" what was said, not by a long shot. But two Tweets (that have since been deleted) went out firing back at Caroline Moss. And they went a little somethin' like this.

"They said make fun of I’m Shmacked."
"What’s the worst that can happen, they said."

July 23rd. 9:22AM.
Caroline is prepping her anus.
Click to expand...

100,000 signatures to fire @socarolinesays from @businessinsider

Also, for her swift deportation.
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Now, I wouldn't say these things. I like a joke, but this isn't my kind of stand-up. But only the most litigious, ambulance-chasery lawyerball playing winner-by-technicality would call this a "rape threat." James Gunn has gotten away with "jokes" of a similar ilk and people are begging him to make their movies. Furthermore? This isn't even necessarily rape. Caroline is prepping her anus. Of her own volition. She's consented to this! But various online articles had criticisms for this. Didn't think it was cool. But it wasn't just Jezebels and Business Insiders who were wagging their fingers at Shmacked. It was other "douchebaggery" outlets like Total Frat Move.

https://totalfratmove.com/im-shmacked-needs-to-shut-up-about-james-madison-fraternities/

I'm not sayin' start a war with James Madison University or Business Insider. I'm not sayin' don't start a war with James Madison University or Business Insider either. But this is the kinda stuff that irks me. When frat boys and Chive-esque outlets suddenly wanna pretend like they have clean hands. Shmacked are trashy fuckboys when they do these things. But what does that make you, Total Frat Move? Maybe I have a problem with you encouraging those sorority banners. Maybe I think they encourage a dangerous culture. Maybe you're the douchebags for that, Total Frat Move. Where's the line? How much of a Juul-addicted jackass are you allowed to be before it becomes tacky? Frankly, I think they're all Juul-addicted jackasses. It's just when the heat's on they wanna look good. That's all it is. They don't wanna get caught. That's why the frats turned them away. Because they knew cameras would catch something. And I understand that. The more of a party reputation you earn, the harder the Dean's dick gets fantasizing about shutting you down. But there's a difference between saying "Hey I like you Shmacked, but I can't end up on camera I'm trying to get a job after college" and saying "Nope, not us, couldn't be us, never us, we're men of distinction." These college kids, and these college websites, they need to not try and pull this "class act" wool over my eyes one day, and then the next day be like "Isn't degeneracy fun???" Or someone needs to explain to me where the line is.

I do like these college websites. They have value. They're gonna teach me where all the hoes at. But this is kind of a teaching moment. These college websites are like strip clubs. You want the one that's gonna give you the best mileage. You don't want the one that's gonna go wet blanket on you because they're a "classy establishment" and they don't allow that kind of fun. That kind of fun crosses their "line." When it comes to that line, you want the strip club whose line is set the deepest into the debauchery territory. And this Shmacked debacle tells us at least this: The line comes sooner for Total Frat Move than is does for I'm Shmacked. Total Frat Move will go wet blanket on you. At least before I'm Shmacked does. Total Frat Move has rules and limits where Shmacked doesn't yet. What I am specifically looking for is the kind of college party environment where people get drunk and naked. There are lots of kinds of parties out there, I'm not looking for just any party. I'm not looking to jump around and spill beer to somebody's dubstep playlist and not have sex at some point for my trouble. Drunk, naked fun is what I seek. And the Shmacked debacle tells us that there are some college websites out there that might SEEM cool, but might also surprise you by saying "Ew, that's trashy, don't ask us for that, don't ask anyone for that. Our kind of fun is okay and your kind of fun is not." It sorts these college websites from the true Wild West "don't give a fuck" websites. The ones that give you the best mileage. Shmacked's mileage is looking good, so I think, moving forward on my quest, they're gonna be a resource I lean on more than others.

Or will I??? :feelswhat: Because the controversy surrounding I'm Shmacked reached its boiling point in the autumn of 2014. It's not clear what kicked it off. But it was probably Twitter-fucking Caroline Moss. Fingers were pointed, and a scapegoat was offered up. This was apparently all the fault of Arya Toufanian. Yofray decided to kick Toufanian out of the band, announcing it on the Shmacked Facebook page. And the (since deleted) post went a lil' sumpin' liiiiiiike...


My name is Yofray Ray and I am the face of I'm Shmacked. There have been many incidences that have happened with my brand due to Arya Toufanian. I wan't to publicly apologize for anything that has happened as it was out of my hands. I wan't to make it very clear that Arya Toufanian has been removed from the company. Please do not have any contact with him about of any type business regarding, I'm Shmacked. Unfortunately this is the way things have to be. As I love the I'm Shmacked brand and refuse to let my Ex-Partner ruin the brand name for a company we all love so much. We are all looking forward to moving in a positive direction and cleaning our image.

‪#‎ImShmackedIsBack‬
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I don't know what kind of setup they had over at Shmacked in 2014, but how could Yofray kick Toufanian off the website when it's just the two of them? Two people, that's an even split of the authority. Yofray can't fire Toufanian alone, Toufanian could just as rightly fire Yofray. So Yofray must've had the backing of whatever the "board of directors" is for what is essentially a party promotion outfit with a blog. Toufanian had to be outnumbered somehow. And so he's no longer associated with Shmacked. In an official sense. :feelsbadman:

Today, Yofray holds the keys to I'm Shmacked. Despite claims of moving in a positive direction and cleaning their image, Jezebel doesn't buy it. I'm Shmacked continues to stir bits of controversy here and there, mostly from throwing shitty parties and people demanding refunds.

https://www.idsnews.com/article/201...es-students-disappointed-looking-for-a-refund

​


Toufanian, despite being "removed from the company" and called Yofray's "ex-partner" who was ruining the brand name, still refers to himself as "22. Founder @ImShmacked" on his Twitter page, despite having been neither for some time. Last anyone heard, he had hired Charles Harder, lawyer to the stars and representative of sue-happy Peter Thiel (that one gay guy from the Republican National Convention that said "real Republicans" don't care about protecting bathrooms), to go fight Jezebel/Gawker Media over the story they published about his Tweets. Lawsuits take a long time, so I don't know if this is over or not, but Harder has some pretty impressive wins under his belt. He defeated Avenatti and Stormy Daniels. Also? He's defeated Gawker before. Over the Hulk Hogan sex tape? Jezebel called it a "rape threat." If they wanna play bitch ball, nobody plays bitch ball like an actual lawyer.

Caroline Moss has gone on to write freelance. Her Twitter account from the Toufanian debacle has since been deleted, then squatted.

I dunno. I'm compelled to reach out to those that the world has said "Fuck you" to. That's why I joined incels.is, actually. Someone has to pray for the worst of the worst sinners. After all, it is 1-4-3 Day. So when it comes to I'm Shmacked, it's not just the website or its videos I want, I think I wanna talk to Toufanian himself. He must know what Shmacked knows, or knew back when he was there. He must be able to sort out the true party colleges from the ones that are just stuntin' for the camera. And I think I can count on him as someone to talk to with real candidness. Please, Mr. Toufanian. Please won't you be my neighbor?
 
"Summer of FrothySolutions" or "Life Coaching"

TL;DR: Summer has begun with the Memorial Day Weekend. I wanted to use my time off to go get a full hormonal panel, but you need insurance to do it, or an indeterminate amount of money. So I can't do that until I get insurance. But I can probably keep lifting until I can check my test. But what I need is a reliable program and everyone has different opinions on what's good and what's bad for lifting. One person's opinion I trust? Jeff Cavaliere. But I'm looking at people who've done his program and not all of it is good. The program is good, but it makes me wonder if it's right for everyone. Or me. I've also been working on finding out where the best party environment is, but I can't find a pattern in the data I have so far. So is there a location in the country that's more conducive to drunken college partying than others? If so, maybe "disgraced" promoter Arya Toufanian can tell me. Or is it equally possible at every school, and it's about playing to the crowd properly? If so, maybe I need to talk to Arlin Moore. He's a life coach, and maybe he could coach me on how to have a "lit" experience at college. Or better yet, how to live the rest of my life "lit." But all of that costs money. And yet, Looksmax.me is full of people ekeing out successes for almost no money. Maybe I need to ask Looksmax how they do it.

It is officially Memorial Day Weekend! That means it's officially summer. We kick off our summer blockbusters with Brightburn and Aladdin: The Live Action Remake. And with the warm weather upon us, now it's finally time to get started on that beach body! :feelsgah:

Nah, but seriously, I tried to go in for a hormonal panel. They're gonna be open Memorial Day and I have the day off, so that was gonna be the day. But I called them, apparently you need to have insurance to get one of those done? Either that or be made of money. How do YOU people do it??? Do you all have insurance? Me, I don't. Because I opted out of it. And if I want insurance I'm gonna have to wait for open enrollment, which is many months away. Long story short? I can't get a hormonal panel. Not without more money.

I guess it wouldn't hurt to keep lifting, in the interim. Until I can find out how you guys get your test tested. It being Memorial Day Weekend, I got that good, highborn beauty rest. And as a result I was able to do a full body's work today. Ideally I'd like to do it like this...

Monday: Upper Body
Tuesday: Lower Body
Wednesday: Upper Body
Thursday: Lower Body
Friday: Upper Body

And rest on the weekends. But exhaustion has been keeping me from committing regularly. Maybe with this long weekend, I can regain my momentum. But... I'm not sure about my routine. Fittit has been saying that the curl and press is a waste of time, and it's better to do each movement individually. But SO many people do the curl & press. Jeff Cavaliere. Chris Heria. Scott Hermann. The certification between all those guys. The results between all those guys. And they all say it's worthwhile to do. So unless Fittit believes that every fitness YouTuber is wrong, even if they've got Masterses in sports medicine and have trained Antonio Brown, there must be some value to the curl & press. Fittit tells me "Just pick a program and do it," but when I do, they're like "That program has the curl & press, it's a shitty program." Maybe the curl & press doesn't do what I think it does, but there must be some reason people do it other than "They're all dumb, they need to listen to Fittit." Maybe it isn't best for straight up hypertrophy/isolated bodybuilding.. Like, maybe it's for an athletic look. I dunno. I'd ask, but Fittit is notoriously short tempered about that kind of thing. And what I really think I need is as many opinions on this as possible. They're gonna tell me to keep it to the Moronic Monday thread, but no one will see my question there. I want a bunch of people to see it, so they can all come together and if Person A says "Curl & Press is good" but Person B says "Curl & Press is bad," having a bunch of people on the case will get to the bottom of what the truth is. That, I think, is called "crowdsourcing."

Or you know what? If Jeff Cavaliere could just explain it to me. He probably knows whatever it is about curl & press that Fittit hates so much. I trust him before any fitness advice anywhere. Anywhere. I'd trust him to deliver my children, if I had any. There's so much people can't agree on in fitness. Is it reps per week that does the trick, or sets per week? And should you do the same amount of volume per muscle group or do bigger muscles require more volume? Will more volume overtrain smaller muscles? Do certain muscle respond better to lighter weight? Maybe I should bite the bullet and just buy one of Jeff Cavaliere's programs. Max Size. That sounds like what I'm looking for. But... but see, I'm still worried. Because I trust Jeff Cavaliere, I really do. But I look at some of his "success stories..."

Here's Jack Eltman. 42.

J-eltman.png

Not bad. At 42? To just look like that in your every day life at 42? If I could wave a magic wand, man. But then there's Andreas Dorr, 19.

a-dorr.png

It just, it makes me think. Because if I didn't know any better, I'd think all this guy did was lose fat. He seems to have already had a solid musculature. He didn't gain muscle, just lost fat. Right?

Here's Alex Colon, 33.

A-colon.png

Daaaaaaaaamn now that's what I'm lookin' for in a program! I'd like to see how he fares in a Ratings thread. But then there's... Foo Ce Zhi, 23. :feelsmega:

f-zhi.png

​
Oh no! Hardly anything changed!!! Is this his "Max Size?" It looks like all he did was lose weight!!! And then there's... Danny Sanders, 38. :feelsgiga:

d-sanders.png

Oh my GOD. Nothin'. NOTHIN'!!! :feelsohgod: Either Jeff is putting up just whatever anyone will send him, or I have reason to be concerned. Yes, for people like Alex Colon, this program works... fuckin' miracles. But what if I'm more of a Foo or a Danny? I'm worried that they did the same thing Alex did, but it just didn't work right for them. What if I need a different program? What is the best possible program that will max my muscles out the most without overtraining? I just feel like that's something I should be able to look up.

Alex Colon, for losing the tire store around his waist, got picked up to be an Instagram ambassador for FINAO.

https://www.instagram.com/not_fit_to_be_king/

Maybe I should just ask Alex why he looks so much better than everyone else who, allegedly, did the same program. I hope the answer isn't steroids. Because he won't tell me if the answer is steroids. Speaking of Instagram though, I've been going through the haul, right? And I'm facing kind of a problem. I don't see a pattern. Yet. What I thought would happen was, after enough submissions, a certain area would stand out as providing the most women submitting fap material to Instagram. And yes, a lot of the bikini pictures are from beachy places like Florida and California, but that's all they excel at so far. Because of course the places with beaches would be the chief source of people in bathing suits. But when it comes to pure and simple slut potion shenanigans, it doesn't seem like any place has it more than another.

I've got pictures & videos from New Orleans, Flagstaff, University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, University of South Alabama in Mobile, Eastern Connecticut State University in Windham, New York City, Sarasota, Rocky View, Cleveland, Iowa State University in Ames, Montreal, Fort Lauderdale, and at least one from the University of Edinburgh, way over in the UK. And none of these are standing out more frequently than the others, in any significant way. The idea was to figure out where most of the camwhores tend to come from and/or go to. But it might just be that they can pop up anywhere and don't have a specific place that's more conducive to camwhoremongering. If there was such a place? Arya Toufanian would probably know. He accepted my follow request on Instagram and I've DM'd him asking for guidance in picking a college. But for a "disgraced" guy he sure has a lot of followers. 186,000+ so far. I'm probably not the only one who DM'd him, even today. How do I know if he'll ever respond to me? And then, it might not be a place. It might be possible anywhere, it's about the environment you create. In which case I might have to talk to this guy.

​


Arlin Moore. Someone asked him "Is college lit?" And he basically says yes. My college experience was decidedly not lit. So I wonder, what went wrong with my experience? Maybe he can tell me how to light up a college. How a guy like him goes from freshman to living a life of 0:24 to 0:37. I could just ask him, but, again, he's probably a busy guy and doesn't have time to life coach me. UNLESS... I pay him. No longer in college, he's now he's some kind of lifestyle guru.

https://www.the8amclub.com/home

@Eugenicist over on incels.is asked what kind of job Chad would go for.

https://incels.is/threads/what-job-profession-would-a-chad-go-for.122824/

Looking at these guys who fuck sluts all day long, it seems what a Chad would do for a living is "Talk about how successful he is." Chad is a hustler. Chad "makes his dreams come true." And that's what Arlin Moore wants for you. Or at least he did. Because that 8AM Club is now closed. So even if I wanted to buy his life coaching, I couldn't. But maybe I can just ask him and he can tell me. Maybe he can tell me how to live a life of litness out of college. Because he's not in college. And neither am I, yet. Maybe he can teach me how to live a life of fulfillment without going back to school?

God damn. Why everything involving self-improvement cost money? Gotta get my test tested. Need a workout program that I can rely on. Need to learn how to be social. And somehow people on Looksmax are getting it done. Maybe the people I should ask have been here all along?
 
"#Hollywood" or "Workahol Related Death"

TL;DR: Did you hear the story about how Mac from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia went from obese to jacked? Apparently it was very hard. But more importantly, it took a lot out of him and he appears to still be kinda bitter about what he had to do. But what really frustrates me is how no one's waving this in anyone's face like they would if an actress had to destroy her body for a part. No one's saying "This is what men are forced to do in today's industry and The Matriarchy should be ashamed" like they would say for a woman. No thinkpieces about the unrealistic body standards men are held to. How men are judged for their bodies. Only women get that kind of consideration and only men are blamed for it. All Mac gets is a thanks for being so funny and hard working. Speaking of hard working Hollywood men, I watched a TEDx talk by Jonathan Wolff that basically said "In order to succeed at something, you have to have a business plan, stand out, and know where the opportunity is." I think that's what's holding me up now. I need to know where the opportunity is before I can do anything else besides looksmaxxing. It's a good thing to do, but without a destination I'm just getting pretty with no one to see me.

Is anyone having trouble viewing the Instagram posts I'm posting? I keep getting this.

58430

With the message "www.instagram.com refused to connect." It might just be for the I'm Shmacked posts? Lemme try some other posts. Did you see this Instagram post from Mac off of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia? I don't watch it so I don't know the angle here, but for some reason Mac went from the worst shape of his life to the best shape of his life. Over the span of less than a year. He got fat, and then he got shredded. I guess you could call it a bulk to a 7 month cut, except during the bulk you don't lift or anything. He's only a few years younger than me so that's very inspiring. But then I read the post itself.



Look, it’s not that hard. All you need to do is lift weights six days a week, stop drinking alcohol, don’t eat anything after 7pm, don’t eat any carbs or sugar at all, in fact just don’t eat anything you like, get the personal trainer from Magic Mike, sleep nine hours a night, run three miles a day, and have a studio pay for the whole thing over a six to seven month span. I don’t know why everyone’s not doing this. It’s a super realistic lifestyle and an appropriate body image to compare oneself to. #hollywood ​


Wake up call aside about how hard it actually is to transform yourself like that, what really irks me is the double standard here. We all laugh at Mac here because haha, funny man. But if it were a woman held to some kind of body standard, posting a passive aggressive rant about the incredible lengths she had to go to change herself, no one would be laughing. People would be sharing it across platforms, undersigning it with commentary PUNCTUATED 👏 WITH 👏 CLAPPING 👏 EMOJIS 👏 because shame on you, Patriarchy. There'd be articles about this post, asking "What does this tell us about how men need to take responsibility for all of society's evils?" I'm frustrated because this is gonna fade into nothingness.

​


All these comments like "Yeah you had to kill yourself. But we love you, Mac! You're so funny and hard working." If you love him, fight for him. If you love him, call out the hypocrites who should've been fighting for him but figured men like him didn't need it.

Speaking of working hard in Hollywood, does anyone know who Jonathan Wolff is? He made the theme song to Seinfeld. And Will & Grace. And just about every notable TV show from the 90s to 2005. But not Friends. And I stumbled upon a TEDx talk he did recently at Yale. In it he details what steps he took to go from a classically trained musician in 70s Louisville to making all those TV theme songs and being so overwhelmed with work and money and success that he had to retire at 46.

​


I like talks like these. Most talks are just empty motivation. "Go out! Be motivated!" I am motivated. But what "stuff" do I do? How do you practically go from kicking shit in Bumfuck to actually making something of yourself? Wolff went into how he did it for himself, and I like to think this advice can be applied to me.

It all began with a love of music. The next, and some would say more important step, was training in how to make music. With classical training, 70s Louisville was a good place for Wolff to get jobs playing music. He worked hotels, restaurants, jazz clubs, he worked with local bands and played local concerts. How? Because 70s Louisville was Bumfuck. Local, small town Bumfuck. But basically he was a local musician. And eventually the time came that he wanted more. Like me. The local, levelheaded women in my area? I don't want that. I wanna go where the "party" is. And so did Wolff. Fortunately for Wolff, he knew where the party was: Hollywood. So at the tender age of 17, he left Louisville, KY. And made his way to Hollywood. There he worked freelance doing musical odd jobs. Getting his name and face out there. He worked freelance for 10 years. Freelance, to me at least, sounds crazy nowadays. But 10 years of freelance in Hollywood, at least between 1976 and 1986, got Wolff two houses and an investment portfolio. He had to bust ass to get them, but he got them. Then, once again, he started to want more. Because as a freelancer he had no control over his career. He wanted to be his own boss. To realize a very specific dream. To make his own music for people's TV shows, in a beautiful office with state of the art recording gear and Hollywood's best singers & musicians. That was key, he had a specific goal, and a plan for getting there. Step One? Sell all your worldly possessions and use the money to buy an office building in Studio District. It's the only way. He read books on how to run a business, he read books on how to thrive in the music industry. All while sleeping in his office building I'm guessing because he sold his houses. He aimed to woo big TV producers. How would he get these producers to talk to him and hire him?

He had to "get out of the pile." Which basically just means "stand out." There are a million composers in Hollywood. Like, there are a million YouTubers trying to make their start. Or a million normie-tier men. A million composers/YouTubers/men all look the same. No reason to really pick one over the other. Wolff had to give producers a reason to pick him. And the casting couch was a no-go because, as he was keen to point out, he wasn't attractive. He was an ugly kid, his family never let him forget it. But one idea he had to stand out was, he should be his own agent. Agents are the people who go out and make friends with producers and say "Hey I represent Such And Such Agency lemme tell ya about this composer I know." Everyone's got some kind of agent. He was gonna have no agent. He was gonna do it himself. Which made some jobs impossible to get. But what made him unique was, with no agent, there's no commission fee to pay that agent. Suppose you, a producer, have $25,000 to pay for a song. That 25 grand doesn't all go to the composer. $3,750 or so of it goes to the agent as commission. So you're only really getting $21,000 worth of effort from the actual composer. But if you, the producer, will enter into this strange experiment with Wolff, he can give you 100%. And you'll give him 100%. Not 85%.

He also sent out letters to the people he used to freelance for. Saying "Hey I'm not a utility guy anymore, I'm not a stagehand, I'm my own composer, send me money and singers and I'll make you theme songs." He had built up contacts, so he had people who knew him and were willing to take a chance on him. Also? He was able to recognize a need in the music industry. Just like composers were all the same with the agents and their agent's commissions, theme songs were the same. They all sounded the same, and had no identity. If there were a show like Seinfeld, its theme song didn't sound "Seinfeldy." He thought maybe, if someone was making a show like Seinfeld, it should wanna evoke the feel of that show. And people will recognize it amidst the homogenized landscape where people can't tell the difference between the theme songs to Growing Pains, Silver Spoons, Facts of Life, and et cetera. This thinking really resonated with Jerry Seinfeld, who also wanted to make a show that was different from what everyone else was making. So he took a chance on a composer who was different from every other composer. And so passed the meeting of Smith & Wesson.

Eventually it got to the point where so many people were sucking his dick that his wife was getting jealous. He was doing upwards of 10 theme songs a week. 10 different TV show theme songs per WEEK. A new one PER DAY on average. I can't even post here every day. Where do the ideas come from? Work was taking up so much of his family life that he and his wife decided that he would retire in 2005. And like a Breaking Bad or a Game of Thrones, there was still so much more work that could've been done. He hadn't waned in popularity, they were still beating a path to his door. But he cut everyone off, employees and clients all, and fled to the mundane life of Louisville, KY. 2005's Louisville, KY. An average nobody. A schnook.

I feel like that. If I can just get my time in the Do It For State sun, I can happily go back to being an incel. Or is it volcel? Maybe I wouldn't fit in there. But I have to experience it. And following Wolff's example? I first have to find it. Find out where my "Hollywood" is. Whether it be a place/college, or a mood that needs to be created.
 
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"A Solemn and Dignified Memorial Day" or "4 of Pentacles"

TL;DR: I got 7 hours of sleep today, sleeping as long as I could. Then I went over my parents' house for Memorial Day. I learned some good news for my parents, they recently won some money through state lottery. But my dad is angry because he didn't want anyone to know, not even his kids. He's a real 4 of Pentacles. My mind drifts to the plan to leave my city, and potentially my parents. Know where I'd like to go? The e-thot capital of the world. Where the Snapchat porn stars all are. I recently learned about Snapchat porn, it's basically where all of the amateur porn is, except all the ladies are doggedly defensive about people pirating their pussy pics. If only there was some way to do what I'm doing with Instagram models, but instead with Snapchat porn stars. Figure out where most of them come from. Then I'd move there. And hope to get "head" hunted by one. But it's kinda sad when she only likes you for the content you help her make.

This Memorial Day Weekend has been an interesting time for sleep. Because I can sleep for as long as I like. I probably could've slept through the whole weekend, provided I break my engagements with my family and remember to wake up on time Tuesday. I tried to get 8 hours last night. I must've conked out around 10:39 PM my time. According to my browser history anyway. Last page I visited was at 10:39 PM. I simply could not shitpost any longer. I gave into sleep and I stayed in bed for as long as I could. And it felt like blissful oblivion. But eventually I roll over to check the clock, and it's only 5:30 AM. Only 7 hours. And I'm wide awake. Not "wired" but absolutely ready to get out of bed. Like a baby who wants to play instead of sleep. I rolled around in bed trying to go back to sleep and make it at least 8. But I couldn't do it! The numbing embrace of sleepiness was gone from me.

I could've just gotten out of bed at 5:30. But you hear people like Mac from Always Sunny recommending 9 hours, @Zeus recommending 9-10 hours, if I'm gonna lift I want the good gains. And in order to get the good gains I assume I need to sleep 9 to 10 hours a night. Including a 20 minute nap during the day???

https://looksmax.org/threads/how-to-sleep-correctly-and-why.17477/

Niggas gotta go to work!!! A nap in the middle of the day??? But even when I don't have to go to work, 7 hours is the best I can do. Then again, throughout the night I remember having nightmares about missing work. Maybe my sleep was disrupted by doubts that it was Memorial Day.

Speaking of Memorial Day, a good number of my family came over my parents' house for an impromptu Memorial Day thing. My nephew, for instance, has closed out the spring semester and has come home. He's opted not to stay with me though. He's gonna stay with my parents. But anyway, with every family gathering, there is some dysfunction.

I've been talking about how my parents, mostly my mom, have been throwing money around. I thought it was their usual recklessness, but in a moment of drunkenness my mom told me the truth: They won a little lettuce off the lottery. Enough to improve their retirement a significant amount. Hence all the spending. And I'm happy for them. But my dad isn't happy. Because apparently the idea was that no one should know. I guess that includes his kids. Because when he heard that I knew, he got all ornery about it. Complaining "Argle bargle remember the last time we won the lottery and everybody found out and then everybody asked us for money argle bargle." And I can understand the paranoia that comes with a windfall. But I'm your kid, man. Are you really so paranoid that you're like "I don't trust my kids, I don't want them asking me for anything?" Even if I did ask, which I'm not gonna because if anything YOU need ME, if I'm in need you'd rather me just leave you alone? I'm mostly aggravated about him not trusting us though. Him not being able to enjoy his money because "What if my kids want some" is the height of paranoia. I'm trying to congratulate you. Just be HAPPY with your life, you great bitch. Stop living in fear.

Y'know I talk about leaving this city to find my fortune, but eventually I come to realize, as frustrating as my family is, I don't think I can leave them behind. Not if I'm staying forever. Which I... might do? I dunno, I like a white Christmas. But if I did go south for the rest of my years, I would have to take them with me. Which we kinda did. Over a period of about 2 years we moved the bulk of our extended family to another city. We did it gypsy style, it involved a lot of people temporarily living with other people. Hey, maybe that's my ethnicity. Maybe I'm Roma. Is Roma white? But speaking of moving to find my fortune, in "A Week Is No Break At All" we talked about how there are two kinds of Spring Break: The classy kind, and the trashy kind. And as I go over these Instagram archives, I fear the same is true of the Instagram "dimes" and "smokeshows" that I'm coming across. Some women wanna look good and will pose in a bikini, maybe post some booty pics, but that's it. You'll find them on Instagram, but you won't find them on Snapchat, if you follow what I'm saying. So, should I be looking on Snapchat? Because I recently learned about these two women, Allison Parker & Rainey James. People have been talking about e-thots and the Thot Audit and I didn't truly understand what an e-thot was, I was still living in a world of camgirls. But there's this whole other kind of porn out there. Snapchat porn. That I have just been blissfully unaware of. I think these are the thots the Thot Audit is trying to take down. Thots like Allison Parker & Rainey James. And these two are really on their ho stroll. I found a .WebM where the two of them go out on the street and invite strangers to grope and suck and squeeze their bare breasts. Had me sweating. However, it wasn't anything I hadn't seen on "Asses In Public" over on Brazzers. But there's this one video where they, spur of the moment, call a random pizza guy and double team his dick. I wanna believe it's staged. That's what I usually go with when I'm watching porn like this. But some women actually do this. Call pizza guys and "prank" them by answering the door naked or something like that. Still, this is a step beyond that. This is sex. They almost have sex with an underage kid but they realize he looks kinda young.

Even as I tell myself this can't be real, my mind is blown. I'm like "I have to be part of this." Is there a place more conducive to Snapchat sluttery? Parker & James are based in Arizona, I believe it is. Boom, Arizona comes up again. But Parker & James are only two porn stars. What if I could do what I'm doing for Instagram, but instead collect an archive of Snapchat porn stars, learn where they're from, and maybe pinpoint where the Snapchat thot capital of the world is? And maybe end up in some up-and-comers video? How do you even find Snapchat porn though? Regular porn, I would go on XHamster or XVideos or HornyPharaoh or anywhere but PornHub. Ooh! JJ.AM! Remember that? There are places for GIFs and videos, that's where you learn a porn star's name and look for more of her. But Snapchat porn? How would I even find out about Allison Parker or Rainey James? I mean, like, suppose I wanted to go on a Thot Audit. I would have to find some thots, right? If I wanted to go on a Thot Audit. One place might be r/PremiumGirls. A subreddit for discussing Snapchat porn? But as soon as I step in, I notice something I don't really notice with regular porn: Scams. But also, almost all of it has been taken down! For copyright violations. Now I see. These Snapchat ladies are real serious about their money. No looking at any of it for free. Robbing you is fine, but you can't rob them. There's a poll over on incels.is asking if anyone's paid for porn before...

https://incels.is/threads/poll-have-you-payed-for-porn-before.123458/

And OP asks "How do porn stars make money? They're just letting people steal their product." And looking at these Dirty Snappers are protecting their copyright more fervidly than Disney, it really puts that into perspective. How generous the regular porn is, letting us have free trailers and being more lenient with other sites uploading their videos.

I know it's cucked to be so spellbound by the very thots of the Thot Audit itself. Do I think they'll be loyal? No. And here's how I know they won't be loyal. Because to put yourself out there like that means you enjoy being loved by thousands of people. So my attention alone wouldn't be enough. But that's fine with me. I'm not looking to be exclusive. You can't wife an Amouranth or an Alinity. You'll never be her first. But you can maybe be her best. You can be her favorite dick call. Well, you can. I probably can't. But you know what's probably the most depressing part of being with a professional slut? There's no passion for sex itself. Not often, anyway. You see this when it comes to porn stars who fuck their fans. Every now and then they pop up. Or at least I think they did a while ago. And what I would notice about them was they'd say "Yeah you can fuck me, but I get to film it." Because the sex isn't about the joy of having sex. It's about producing more content for the business end of things. She's looking for more videos to sell people. I don't mind being filmed. Hell, I kinda like it! But it would sour the mood to know that this is all pretend. I could've escortcel'd instead if I wanted to be with someone who was pretending. I want someone who's enjoying themselves.

Hey, remember how 4 of Pentacles came up in my Mother's Day reading? What if the 4 of Pentacles to come is one of these business-minded e-thots? Maybe I'll meet one, but her shrewd and stingy pinching of subscriber pennies will be a challenge to my affections for her? Or maybe the 4 of Pentacles is my paranoid father. Either way, summer has begun, folks. And if there's any central theme to take away from this rant it's this: Enjoy yourselves. Or don't. People are keen to point out that Memorial Day is not "National Barbecue Day." It's actually a day to remember the ones who didn't make it back home for summer barbecue. Another holiday Jim Gaffigan has ruined for me. I guess I'll see you when the day comes I'm allowed to have some real fun.
 
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The Dude Abides said:
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Thanks, Agent Cooper!



"Jack Black Macksing" or "Femcels.co"

TL;DR: I don't know what it is, protein synthesis, muscle damage, but my body was on fire and I got no sleep last night. As a result, I couldn't wake up on time to do my lower body routine. To feed the soreness in my lats, chest, and forearms, I got some hamburhers for National Hamburger Day today. And for change I got a ripped bill. And like a cuck, I took it on the chin and threw it away, instead of trying to pass it off on someone else. It makes me think about my dynamic. I used to think I was like a Travis Bickle or a Lou Bloom or a Joker, like most incels fancy themselves. But I realize I take too much shit and don't fight back. Not like Bickle or Bloom or Joker. And I probably never will. So who can I be like? Maybe Jack Black. Like how he was in The Holiday when they tried to pass him off as a rom-com male co-lead. But does that mean my only option is Kate Winslet? Do I even have the option of Kate Winslet?

I got essentially zero sleep last night. I mean, technically I slept, but my body was on fire from lifting. I was supposed to get some real sleep so I could wake up and do some lower body lifting. But I couldn't. See? These are the walls I keep hitting. Okay, I guess June is gonna have to be the month where I consistently lift.

There's a thread over on Incels.com where The End asks "What movie do you resonate with? What movie is Literally You?"

https://incels.is/threads/what-movie-is-most-like-you.123539/

You know how a lot of the "incely" types tend to associate themselves with characters like Travis Bickle? Or Lou Bloom, a Travis Bickle for the current generation? And of course, The Joker. Heath Ledger's Joker, mostly. But Joaquin Phoenix, maybe it's these hypersensitive times, but he looks to actually be putting the Entitled White Male Incel Scare in some people. SOME people. Uhhhh, Rocky, actually? I think original Rocky is in that same family. Yeah he's got a nice chin and people are mad that it beat Taxi Driver at the Oscars, but it's got those same Taxi Driver/Nightcrawler tropes. The world is gritty and depressing, everything looks like you have a fever, starring a depressed man ambling through life, his life is shit, his house is shit, everyone he knows is as depressed as him for some reason, no one has any money, why bother doing anything, that kinda thing. Things were so much more alive when Rockies 3 & 4 rolled around and he was fighting G.I. Joe supervillains. But anyway, you know the usual "Holden Caulfieldy" types. And I used to think I was like those guys. But I re-watched Taxi Driver today. And I noticed something about Travis that I remembered about Rocky. Oh! And Eddie Brock in that new Venom movie. Not quite on that Taxi Driver level, but it has the "down on his luck dude with no friends living in claustrophobic squalor" thing going for it. They have kind of a playful familiarity with the corner store cashiers. I don't have that. The cashiers at the place I usually shop? They kinda pick on me. I mean... not "pick on me" but it reminds me of how some of the kids used to treat me in the early high school days. Y'know, dickin' around with me? Y'know like pretending I didn't pay them or that I gave them the wrong amount of money. It's not all the time, and it's actually kinda waned recently, and I don't really care they're just havin' a giggle. But me and the cashiers aren't on the same level like Travis and his cashier, or Eddie and his cashier, or Rocky and the pet store people. I mean, Rocky's not on the "same" level, but see he's actually kinda above. He's dickin' around with them, and they're like "Ugh, Rocky, stop dickin' around with us." And he has a sad walk-and-think about how he's a friendless dick.

So who's gonna be me in the movies? Is there a movie about a guy who just gets kicked around? And doesn't really kick back? I guess that would be this new Joker movie. Except no wait, he does kick back. And so does Travis. I need a movie about a guy who gets kicked around, but doesn't snap. Instead bears the brunt. Today is National Hamburger Day. I went and got a hamburger. Actually it was two hamburgers. Muscle soreness has got me hungry for protein. Anyway, I pay them, and amongst the change they give me is a bill held together with tape. And I knew this was a cross I would have to bear. Pass it off on some other store? No, because then an innocent customer would get the bill and then they'd be saddled with it. Try and give it to a bank branch? If only they all properly disposed of broken bills. But even bank branches have given ripped, taped bills. No, so that no others would suffer with a bill that couldn't be spent? I had to throw this bill away. A proper burial, and then I'm on the move. That's the kind of guy I am.

But if I can't be like Bickle or Bloom, maybe I can be like Black? Anybody remember a movie called "The Holiday?" I saw commercials for it waaaaaaay back when. It's basically "The British Mouse and the American Mouse." Quick summary of the premise: Kate Winslet is a columnist for The Daily Telegraph in London. Her BF cheated on her and is engaged to marry another woman, but she still loves him. Meanwhile, Cameron Diaz is a business executive for a movie trailer studio in Hollywood. And her BF cheats on her!!! :feelsohgod: How could this happen to two separate women? And all this during what is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, Christmas. The two of them are obviously angry. "Fuckin' moid hypergamy" they rant. And so they hop on this website in hopes of finding some much needed therapy: A home-exchange website. They decide to swap houses for the holidays. They are locationcel'd and they gotta get out. Oooh sis, I felt that. 👏 Anyway, Cameron Diaz is in the UK, so it fits that she should "meet cute" with this movie's representation of Britishness in the form of a man: Jude Law. They hit it off. Meanwhile Kate Winslet is in the US, so she meets "America Man." And who do they pick for America Man? Jack Black. Chameleon. He did this, "Nacho Libre," and "Pick of Destiny" in one year.

Jack Black is about my height. Maybe a little taller. Now if this were an incels.is bait thread I'd have a million lurkers picking apart my "delusional ramblings" like "He's basing his personality on his height??? They have nothing to do with each other that's literally the argument YOU tell US!" But it's not "personality" alone. It's character dynamic. 'Shipping dynamic. And every 'shipping dynamo will tell you that body factors in. You can have the dominant personality of a dom. But if you're short? That factors in. NOW you're a "Short but dominant." And what's interesting about you is, you're dominant, but you're... small? :feelsahh: But that's not normal! It's normal for big strong men to be dominant, not the small people! If you were a big strong man, people would expect this, wouldn't bat an eye. But you being dom, yet so small? That's interesting. Because it's wrong. That's how people think, and that's how people 'ship. And how people 'ship inform the kinds of relationships they like in real life too. They want someone that fits the dynamic they like for themselves. So, I have to figure out what dynamic I bring to the table and who that might mix well with. Personality is only half the story. I have to consider my whole dynamic, and that involves my personality, how I look, everything. And maybe Jack Black is a good guy to be. The lively, rascally American to Kate Winslet's... stuffy Londoner ice queen. :feelsbadman: Uhhhhh... see but that's not what I want. Bless Kate Winslet, but I wanna be with Cameron Diaz. No no, not Cameron Diaz. Uhhhhhh... Kari Ann Peniche. She was on Sex Rehab that one time. Because unlike most professional sexy people, she actually enjoys sex. I guess what I'm sayin' is, I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine.

If I was Jack Black, would my fate just be showing trad women how to come out of their shells? With my Hollywood Golden Age sidekick? If I was Jack Black, what would I do with a ripped dollar. Lemme try and emulate him. He's rascally... lots of energy... indomitable spirit... I think he would take the sacrifice like a hero. An energetic, funny, positive person, who is also... let's be real here, from short guy to short guy... not tall. Does that only work with Kate Winslets? Does it even work on Kate Winslets?

At some point on incels.is I'll be posting my full day's browsing for May 28th, 2019.

https://incels.is/threads/what-do-y...-youre-not-afraid-ashamed-to-share-it.123641/

Seeing as I spend most of my waking day at work, my browser history is probably the closest thing to a pure stream of the bare basics of what I do in a day. Maybe I should post those instead of these essays.
 
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"Biggest Movie of the Summer" or "100 Million Year Age Difference"

TL;DR: I saw Godzilla: King of the Monsters this weekend. I really liked it. The Rotten Tomatoes critics didn't like it, but the Rotten Tomatoes Audience did. They liked the GodzillaxMothra 'ship. Which is peculiar because Godzilla is 100 million years old in this, and Mothra is a literal newborn. Is that too much of an age difference? Going to movies like these always makes me think about how I missed my chance to go on an Avengers Endgame date with some turbonerd chick. Movies are the closest thing to an interest I can come up with. People keep saying I should meet women who have the same hobbies as me. But I don't think I should need hobbies. The Jackasses on Snapchat didn't need hobbies to do the things they're doing. Because what they're doing isn't supposed to be special. It's just casual, sloppy sex amongst degenerates. Normal white trash stuff, provided you're young enough to pull it off. Speaking of being too old for things, I went on Reddit to ask about going back to school to fuck my peers and got shouted down for being an old man. They didn't know my age because I posted from an alt, but what they could assume is, having graduated once already, I'm not a teenager anymore. And that along is cause for them to oldshame me. Not everyone oldshamed me, but the subreddit I went to, r/ApplyingToCollege, is primarily filled with dumbass high school kids. It actually made me kinda sad. I went and spilled my heart out on Reddit, but no one was there. I even tried IncelTears, with mod permission of course. And to further add to my shame, I went on a sex toy website to compare my penis to their dildos. I have a history of doing this, I've done this with two of my sisters' dildos. From my studies of dildos, their manufacturers, and what customers want, what I find is that "big" starts at 9 inches. Below that is just "normal" or even "small." I'm nowhere near that, but I do like to masturbate. It's just my sex drive has kinda been faltering for a few years now. But maybe there's hope with these ZMAs I bought. 30mg of zinc in a recommended dose, on an empty stomach. I'll report back with what effects, if any, this has on me.

What did you do this weekend, Looksmax? Me, I went and saw that new Godzilla. King of the Monsters? I had a good time with it. A very nice and passable time. I'll tell you this much: I'm probably gonna see the next movie. I don't care what the critics say. King of the Monsters made me FEEL. Not for any of the humans, no. But for Mothra, a colossal butterfly whose only lines are shrill but melodic kaiju song. How did they make me feel for her??? She who doesn't really have that much screentime in the movie? I wasn't the only one either. The "Gothra" or "Mozilla" 'ship is alive and well, despite the fact that Godzilla is about 100 million years old, give or take, but Mothra? She was only "born" when the movie started. So I guess that technically maks Godzilla a pedophile.

Maybe it was just my loneliness. Because I was thinking about how, just a short while ago, the biggest movie of the year, if not this generation, was Avengers: Endgame. It wasn't just a movie, it was an event. And so lots of people, a lot of them women, were excited to go and looking for dates to it. Today, even if I found some kind of Godzilla superfan who wanted me to go with her to this movie, it wouldn't have been an "event." So I was thinking "Man, am I never gonna have exciting movie times with anyone? Like Endgame?" Should I even go the movie route? Do I even like movies that much? Anyone looking for a date to Endgame probably likes Endgame more than I do. Maybe I should look for whatever the "event" is for what my real interests are. People keep saying "Meet people by having hobbies!" Fine, my hobby is whatever the jackasses on State Snaps get up to in the snaps they're featured in. My hobby is casual hookups with people I know. How do I pursue that "hobby?" Notice how nobody asks the douchebags on Snapchat what their hobbies are? They don't need hobbies or culture or passion or anything like that to get where they are. And that's what's so frustrating about not having achieved this dream. I'm not shooting high. I was never looking to be some Vegas highroller who pays for his company. I just wanted to live like every other white trash jackoff. I just wanted the basic experience. You shouldn't need hobbies for that. Other people don't!

My quest continues to find out where the right location is for hopefully achieving those dreams. Still sifting through Instagram. But I also still hope there's a faster/more accurate way. Still not picking up any patterns other than "Bikini pictures come from places with beaches" and "Semi-pro Instagram models tend to live near modeling agencies." Nothin' about how "fun" the women who pose for these pictures are. Give me underwear pictures. I feel like that's more telling. You're out on the beach in your bathing suit, that's pretty innocuous. But underwear, that's deliberate. You're not supposed to be in your underwear unless the point is to show more skin than normal. But anyway, right now all I have is digging through Instagram. Arya Toufanian hasn't hit me back. And I might've gone on the Roosh/Return of Kings forums and asked them what the best colleges are, but first of all I don't think they wanna help me find "sluts." Second of all, Roosh has definitely by now forbidden such discussion ever since he found Jesus. Some people are surprised by that turn, but I'm not. Much like Daenerys Tamberelli, his turn might SEEM sudden because of some red herrings here and there, but the groundwork for his true moral standing was laid/lain from the beginning. In that he has always asked men to shoot higher for women. Don't go for the "low class but fun" ones. Go for the ones who are beautiful inside and out. Have principles and seek those who have principles themselves. Don't be a degenerate. So if I wanna just flat out ask someone where the degeneracy is, I'm gonna have to look elsewhere. And facts is facts, nowadays everything is centralized. There aren't many forum options I have. So, once again, I turn to Reddit.

This is why I needed help with an alt name.


https://incels.is/threads/if-i-want...t-an-alt-for-incels-co-but-for-reddit.124276/

Most of these were taken, or jokes. So I went with RegisterUserName over on incels.is, and "BubblyAnswers." And I took that over to r/ApplyingToCollege and asked what the party schools are.



Maybe a little forward? Thing about r/ApplyingToCollege is, if you go there asking for party schools they're gonna be like "Don't do that, go to school for your career." So it was important for me to establish "Hey, I've already been to college for my career and it sucks." Now, I knew that explaining this would reveal that I'm a little older than college age. A price I was gonna have to pay. Being perceived as "a little older than college age." But it's better than them knowing I'm 46. This is why I needed an alt. So I could be like "Hey, I'm not 17, but I'm definitely not 46! :forcedsmile:"

As you can pretty safely assume even without checking the thread, it didn't go super well? You get the expected response: You're probably too old to be fucking college students. But I stand by what I said about Natalie Portman and Moby: An adult's an adult. If you wanna be like "Ehhhh, you're too old to be doing kid stuff" then by your logic you're too young to be doing adult stuff. And that's another thing I eventually realized about r/ApplyingToCollege: It's all a bunch of teenagers. High schoolers who aren't in college yet and looking to get into college. I misjudged the amount of advice-givers who would be there. People who had been to college and had insight to offer. Nope, as it is with most subreddits, it's dominated by advice-seekers, not advice-givers. And these kids were all over my thread with "Ewwwww, you're a creepy old man." Without knowing how old I am. Apparently being even a few years older than graduating age (as far as they knew that was how old I was) is "creepy old man" territory. According to these 16-17 year olds. You really start to feel old. Not because kids are telling you you're old though. You know you're old when your feelings about kids go from "Be nice to kids, protect them from things" to "These kids are dumbasses. Dumbass kids. Protect them because they're too dumb to do anything that involves their brain." Don't get me wrong, the feeling was pretty much unanimous that I was too old to be hanging around college freshmen. But there's a difference between how a 17 year old dicksnot responds, and how someone who's actually been to college responds. take u/dobbysreward, for instance. A college senior. Goes to UC Berkeley, last I checked.



Yes, they tell me it'd be weird for a many my (assumed) age to hang out with 19 year olds. But they understand why I need to and still have helpful insight. They offer actual helpful alternatives. Try an MBA school for instance. Because what I seek is a social environment to belong to. Granted, the idea wouldn't work because like I said I don't wanna be a Vegas highroller hanging out with old fossils and paid company. So going in for my Master's wouldn't be fun. This is the old "20s vs. 30s" comparison that we talked about in "Manlet Night." Suggesting I go have "grown up fun" with grown up and sophisticated MBA candidates. But MBA candidates, you don't see them on State Snaps or anything like that. Because MBA candidates are boring. Or at the very least, not the kind of fun I'm looking for. But it was a well thought out and sensible idea. And then you get people like u/DilapidatedToast. Junior in high school.



It's like they didn't even read the opening post, nor care to. I explain to them "No, I've looked. Clubs are not a social environment." But he's like "Bruuuuuuuuuuh, I don't care you're weird you're old." Dumbass kids.

I don't like to yell at clouds, I know there's plenty of young people here on Looksmax. I still don't think you should be here, young people. I think you should wait until you're adults. And I won't be party to you sneaking out and dosing yourself with controlled substances behind your parents' backs. But I wanna be understanding of the anxiety that all peoples go through. Especially kids. But you should be talking to your parents about this stuff, really. I talk to my parents! And I'm 46! Speaking of talking to someone, getting shot down like that kinda clipped my stride. So I poured my heart out to any subreddit that would listen. I tried r/Self. I tried... I- I- I even tried... r/IncelTears.

https://incels.is/threads/if-i-was-...cause-for-my-expulsion-from-incels-co.124503/

And like Toufanian, no one's gotten back to me. :feelsbadman:

Know who James Huberty is? Of San Ysidro? I don't wanna mythologize the guy, what he did was horrific. But he was not well mentally. Not even IncelTears can deny that because he was actually certified. He was getting help, he was on medication and he had specialists he was seeing. But what's unique about Huberty that sets him apart from other murderers? He gave "the world" one last chance before he did what he did. He was like "If someone can just please put me in touch with my doctor or give me my medicine or whatever, I won't do what I'm thinking about doing." And it just wasn't in the cards. It wasn't out of neglect, everyone loved Huberty and wanted him to get better and they DEFINITELY didn't want him to shoot up a McDonald's. But mistakes were made by well meaning people and he just couldn't get what he needed. And what happened then? Well, he shot up that McDonalds in San Ysidro. I don't think he could've helped it. He was completely gone mentally. I don't think I'm completely gone and I'm not gonna hurt anybody, but I think I have a slight understanding of how Huberty felt. This irrational feeling of abandonment. I technically wasn't "abandoned," but I'm still angry that the two places that were supposed to support me somehow failed to do so.

Know what? I don't blame r/Self. But fuck you, IncelTears. Somehow you turn up on the dot when there's a bad guy to laugh at, but when said bad guy wants to find a path to recovery, where are you? This isn't even the first thread of mine you let fall by the wayside. I know what you are. But saint that I am, I'm just such a good guy, I'm still ready to talk when you are. I don't wanna have a debate. I wanna put your money where your mouth is. With MY OWN MOUTH.

Speaking of cucked things that I did over the weekend, I've been thinking about dicks. My dick, and how it compares to dicks in general. I don't wanna get into a literal dick measuring contest, it's the one insecurity that I believe is forbidden to deal in. You can ask a man about anything at all, his height, his age, his wages, but don't ask about his dick. I hate thinking of important Hollywood men not having big dicks. Being short, that's no ego blow. If people know you, as a leading Hollywood man, have a small dick? Danny Bonaduce has been open about his dick size. It's apparently not impressive. Brad Garrett, in his bravery, came forward on Conan, I think it was? And he came forward about how his dick, if not small, is definitely not proportional to his body. At 6 foot 8 he's probably the tallest man in Hollywood. So many his dick is normal, it's just the rest of his body didn't stop growing. But I'm not brave like Garrett or Bonaduce, so I won't tell you the exact measurements of mine, just understand that it's probably small. I'll tell you this much, I have yet to find someone between incels.is and Looksmax who've come forward with their measurements and is smaller than me. Smaller than me. I am among the oldest, and I am among the smallest.

But how small is "small?" For a while now I've had a plan to figure that out: See how my dick compares to a dildo. While I'm pouring my heart out, I should explain that the plan came to me many years ago. I was over my parents' house, many of my siblings still lived there, including my sister. And I stumbled across the dildo of one of my sisters. I still remember the film that covered it. It wasn't clean. Didn't look clean, didn't smell clean. A sane person would've shoved it back where it came from and tried to bleach the experience from their mind. But I didn't do this. Because I'm fucked up. What I did instead was ask myself "Is this dildo bigger than my dick?" So I put it back, came back ANOTHER DAY, mind you, with measuring tape, got it back out from its hiding spot, and measured it. Yes, it was bigger than me. Either I have a knack for finding my family's unmentionables, or no one in my family is very good at hiding these things, or we all just trust one another a little too well, because this wasn't the only adult material I found in my family's home. Wasn't even the only dildo. ANOTHER sister of mine also was stowing away toys. On top of which, she was most likely sexually active from a young age. The trauma of which has made her closer to my parents more than probably any of my other siblings. She practically lives with them. Like she's trying to make up for all the degeneracy and disobedience of her teens by being a loyal daughter. This is why I say listen to your parents, ye young Looksmaxers. Anyway her dildo was colossal. Beat me by, like, double, I think.

But comparing my dick to my sisters' dildos doesn't tell me what I need to know. I need to compare my dick to dildos in general. Because if a dildo is meant to be small, it'll be named something small by the manufacturer. It'll be given a brand name that implies "This is supposed to be small." Like "Shrinky Dink" or some shit. And if it's supposed to be big, it'll be given a brand name like "Treetop Tall Dick O' Death" or something. And what I thought I would do is go into a sex shop and look at all of the dildos they have, from smallest to biggest, and see where the "Shrinky Dinks" end and the "Dicks O' Death" begin. And end. And stray into double sided/novelty territory. It was always kinda outta my way though, and I've always been busy, until this weekend. When I realized "Sex shops went out with magazine porn. No one goes to a brick & mortar shop to get a sex toy, they order it online." So I went to a sex toy shop. I won't link it here because I don't wanna run afoul of any rules. It's a pretty degenerate place, with the kind of bizarre, twisted Cenobite creations you might see in actual Hell. But I went to the Dildos section. Asked to see all of the dildos. They had categories for "Small" and "Big," but I wasn't interested in what that site's personal opinion was on how big "big" is. I was gonna leave that up to the manufacturers and the brand names they assign to their own dildos. So what I did instead was search by length, going up an inch each time. Here's what I found.

If your dick is 1-2 Inches, you're outta luck, because they had no products that small. :feelscry:

At 3 Inches, we're not really in "dildo" territory. We're getting various plugs and vibrating eggs.

At 4 Inches we get brands like "All American Mini Whoppers." If the dick is white, that is. If the dick is black, it's called "Afro American Mini Whoppers." They've got "Latin American Mini Whoppers" too. But this is "Mini Whopper" territory. Small.

At 5 Inches, this is where we start to see regular ol' "American Whoppers." The "This is a small dick" brand names stop.

At 6 Inches, the brand names of the dildos don't elude to their size. We're in plain' ol normal dick territory.

At 7 Inches we're still in normal dick territory. But get a load of this, there's a line of dildos called "Average Joe," and the dildos are given character.

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​
At 8 Inches we're still in normal dick territory. But on the site I was looking at, this size range had the most pages. There were dildos bigger than this, there were dildos smaller than this, obviously, but searching for an 8 inch dildo produces the most results. The most common dildo size they carry must then be 8 inches.

At 9 Inches we see the first and smallest entries in the "Ultra Whoppers" line.

At 10 Inches we start to see names like "Mr. Humongous" and "Jumbo Jack."

At 11 Inches we start to see names like "Bunker Buster" and "The Manolith."

At 12 Inches we start to see names like "The Forearm" and "Raging Cockstars Big Dick Ben."

At 13 Inches we start to see names like "Mr. Ed" (like the horse) and "Raging Cockstars Jumbo Giant Jim."

At 14 Inches we start to see names like "Exxxtreme Dong" and "Armadingdong."

At 15 Inches we start to no longer see dildos, and instead see double sided dongs, things that are technically the right length but a lot of it isn't actually insertable, plastic fists, and other novelty toys that aren't actually meant to be comfortable or pleasurable.

So, to be definitely big? 9 inches is safe. If you wanna be big. Not just "normal" or "functional," but "big." 9 inches looks like the start of "big." According to manufacturers. But what about customers? What are the most popular dildos? Some of the more popular single dildos, in no particular order, are The Boy in Blue 6.5 Inch, the Red Rider Adjustable Strap On With 7 Inch Dong, and "Average Joe" Miguel the Bartender (7.5 inches, 6 inches of it are actually insertable).

Here are my copes for that though: First and foremost, most dildos are purchased by dudes. Women tend to buy vibrators, whose focus isn't so much penetrative power, but vibrating and stimulating the clitorati and other such areas. If a woman is masturbating, she doesn't necessarily need to penetrate herself. Just rub and pat herself on the outside. It's not uncommon to just idly flick the bean. Second? These dildos are popular not just for their size, but because they're suction cup dildos & strap ons. Third? These shoppers don't shop by the specs listed on the page. They shop by how the dildo looks in the picture. And if the picture makes it look smaller than it is, they'll take to the comments section and complain. So just because a dildo sells well doesn't mean it's universally beloved. Take, for instance, the "Hung Rider Rex Squirting 8 inches Dildo." The specs are listed right there on the page, but reviewers are all like "This was too big for me! It didn't look that big in the picture!" Fourth, suppose some/most shoppers DO check the specs and know the sizes they're buying. There's a difference between pure length and "insertable length." You can only take it up to the balls. Or at least you're not supposed to be able to take it further than the balls. So an 8 inch dildo is actually only 7.5 or so insertable. Unless people are managing to cram it past the balls. And y'know what? Reading the reviews of some of these "extreme" toys? Give 'em some lube and some prep time, these sex toy shoppers are capable of some real horror freak show shit.

How about the definitely satisfied, though? Let's not sort by Best Selling. Let's sort by Average Customer Review. Top dildos are the Mr. Marcus 9 inch, the Shane Diesel Realistic Dong (10 inches), and the Lifelikes Latin King Tan Dildo (9 inches). But not all of that is insertable. You usually have to prorate it by about an inch or more. But then again, I think these are popular because they're lifelike and modeled after actual industry cocksmen. So even if the dildo itself isn't totally true to life, what these customers seek is the true to life experience. Even if they're not getting 9-10 inches, what they want is 9-10 inches. What they went out to bite off was 9-10 inches. Because they seen it in the porn. Still though... the Best Sellers are probably more accurate a metric for what's most popular. Because how many online shoppers go out of their way to review every purchase they make? Not me! Probably just a buncha dudes anyway... :feelswah:

I'm nowhere close to any of these lengths. I always had it in my head that if I couldn't have sex with a 3D woman, I would like to at least enjoy the fantasies of masturbation. But as I've established before, I'm 46. And the ravages of middle age I think have taken a bite out of my prime. Until today? Or tonight? Yesterday there was some big talk about "ZMA." A pill of Zinc, Magnesium Aspartate, and B6. The zinc in it, or maybe the whole pill, I dunno, has been working miracles throughout the "manosphere." They've been talking about it on Looksmax...


On incels.is...

https://incels.is/threads/my-zma-arrived-today.123228/

On Roosh and on other forums all over. Bare minimum, it'll help you sleep and wake up feeling like a new man. If you're lucky? It'll have you nuttin' in your sleep like when you were a boy. And if you're REALLY lucky/still going through puberty, it'll make your dick bigger. Provided you overdose on it. Kids, ask your parents permission.

I decided to get a canister of these today and I'm gonna try a dose tonight. In every pill there is 3.5mg of Vitamin B6 (in the form of pyridoxine HCL), 150mg of Magnesium Aspartate, and 10mg of Zinc (in the form of mono-L methionine & aspartate). It says men should take 3 of these. That's 30mg of Zinc. But I wonder if I can go higher? Zinc toxicity is dangerous. But then again you've got @CarlSagan96 suggesting 50mg a day for kids. Kids! Provided they chase it with a copper supplement. I'm not going through puberty, but if 50mg of zinc won't kill a kid, it probably won't kill me either. I'm about the same size as a kid! I wanna wait for LastGerman or Ethnic Natsoc over on incels.is to get back so I can ask how much they take. "Two pills" doesn't tell me much because not every pill is created equal.

But I'm fading fast, I'm about to collapse into sleep. So I'll just take the recommended dosage and see what happens. But I dunno how I'm gonna continue to take these. There's so many rules! SO many rules that I have to follow now that I'm gymceling. You have to take them on an empty stomach and you can't take them with calcium. Because calcium blocks the absorption of zinc. BUT... they say I should have a protein shake or something before bed, something with protein in it, that will sustain me in my sleep, because APPARENTLY sleeping for 8 hours = starving for 8 hours = bad for protein synthesis/muscle growth? And my protein shake has calcium in it! So not only would I not be taking it on an empty stomach, but my stomach would be full of calcium! So how am I supposed to do both of these things? Due to circumstances, I can afford to go to bed on an empty stomach tonight. But I gotta eat eventually. Or am I? Should I be going to bed on an empty stomach or not?

So much conflicting information. But at least for tonight, I know what I'm gonna do. I'm about to take these... 3 pills, and go to sleep. I'm done! I'm FUCKING DONE!!! WITH THIS PARTICULAR JOURNAL ENTRY!!! I got a fistful of ZMA pills, just give me ONE REASON WHY I SHOULDN'T FUCKING END IT ALL RIGHT NOW!!! THIS JOURNAL ENTRY, I MEAN!!!
 
Ok wtf is this and why does it say I was mentioned? There's no way I'm reading that book that's posted above
 
CarlSagan96 said:
Ok wtf is this and why does it say I was mentioned? There's no way I'm reading that book that's posted above
Click to expand...

I was just talking about that thread you posted. About zinc and dicks.



"Stick It to The Man" or "Summer of Love"

TL;DR: I tried 3 capsules of the ZMA. The first night? Worked out to nothing. Not sure if I should up the dosage or just wait a few more days. I wanna take at least as much as LastGerman and Ethnic Natsoc because it seems to be working for them. After only a week, even. My pee isn't red yet, I thought I should have red pee. Am I not getting enough zinc? With Pride Month underway I also learned that Stonewall, the catalyst to all the gay stuff, was not the dignified and peaceful resistance some people think it was. It was in fact a violent resistance of arrest with several cops being assaulted. I thought that was supposed to be bad? I thought we frowned on that Malcolm X "By Any Means Necessary" path to civil rights? Hence why we hold Martin Luther King Jr. in such high esteem? And why Pussy Hat parades hold themselves in high esteem and claim to be nonviolent? If that's what they believe in, they should either hold Stonewall in the shame it deserves, or tell me where the line is that justifies that kind of violence. Apparently you can be persecuted enough that you can beat up cops who are just doing their jobs. In an unrelated story? Eid al-Fitr is tonight. Also, I was reading reviews on that sex toy site, and we seem to have an epidemic of couples who think they aren't cuckolding because "Just because I'm not attracted to my husband anymore and his small dick doesn't mean our relationship is failing. Because I make sure his needs are met." I think some people have forgotten that just because you stay together, and do things for one another, that doesn't mean your relationship is solid. You have to like each other. And I think most people would agree. But I do wonder how many people are out there that agree, because a sex drive is a powerful thing. Drives people to seek bigger and better.

Well, I tried the ZMA. Three pills before bed. I took them around 10:00 PM or so and went to bed within the hour. So I was definitely "in bed" by 11:00. Nothing was on, total darkness. And as you can probably guess from my making a point to say "Hey look I did everything I was supposed to," nothing happened. 😡 Maybe I should up the dose to 50mg?

How much are LastGerman and Ethnic Natsoc taking? I'm still not sure. LastGerman says there's 20mg of zinc in one serving of his ZMA. But how many pills is a serving? He says it might be 2 capsules. MIGHT be 2 capsules. Does the bottle not say? What if his bottle just doesn't say? My bottle does. 20mg of zinc = 2 pills. But my bottle also says only women are supposed to take 2 pills. Men take 3. So is he really feeling effects on just two capsules/20mg of zinc? Meanwhile I took 30mg and felt ZERO??? Maybe I need to take it for longer. Ethnic Natsoc has been on his junk for a week. One dose per night. Not sure how much a "dose" is for him, but one dose a night for a week has brought about change in him. So if I don't see change in a week from my dosage? What does that mean? I'm not feeling anything. Certainly not well rested, no, not by a long shot. No increase in libido or dickular function, no stronger at lifting, no greater muscular endurance, I'm not a new man. I'm the same man I was yesterday. You got one week, pills. I was told I would be nutting in my dreams. It's all I have! :feelsree:

They say heavy zinc dosage should result in red urine. They say that it's not the sign of OVERdosage, just that you get a "healthy" amount of it. My urine isn't red. Yet. Just gold. Actually, maybe a little too gold. Maybe my problem is that I need to hydrate? I could probably stand another glass of water?

Handled some Internet stuff before I went to work this morning. And what should surprise me on Google today? Google's gone gay. With a gay logo and the tagline "Celebrating 50 Years of LGBTQ+ history."

celebrating-50-years-of-pride-6537357791592448.2-2xa.gif

And I'm like "Hold on, only 50 years? Gay people were invented just 50 years ago? That can't be right." 50 years ago. That was... 1969. What happened in 1969? Oh yeah. Stonewall. Y'know people herald Stonewall as the catalyst to a good thing. A touchstone of civil rights. They carry it around on their shoulders. I think that's because people think the Stonewall times were just gays and other disenfranchised groups having peaceful resistance protests & marches and whatnot, and getting billy clubbed by corrupt cops. That's what I thought it was. And it sounds pretty noble. Standing around shouting doesn't really hurt anybody. But then, in the process of figuring out what exactly happened in 1969, I looked up Stonewall. It wasn't peaceful at all. It was a riot. It was cops making arrests, as they do, and the arrested fighting back violently.


That's a lot different than a pride march.

How many people know this? Shouldn't we be ashamed of that kind of history? You can say "Yeah, but civil rights." But when it came to black people's civil rights, or women's civil rights, they were considerably more peaceful. I think people have conflated Stonewall with other civil rights movements of the past. They think Stonewall was cops brutalizing people just for sitting in a chain. That wasn't Stonewall. That was Selma. Stonewall was people brutalizing cops. And it's not something we should look back on with reverence. That's why when we look back on the Selma years, Martin Luther King Jr. is seen as the good guy, but Malcolm X is seen as the violent extremist.

https://incels.is/attachments/byanymeansnecessary1-gif.68979/​

That's why King = Professor X, but Malcolm = Magneto. That's why when you look at the Pussy Hat marches of today, and people are like "The left is violent! Those protests are violent!" The response from the left is "No we aren't, these protests are peaceful. And we would never condone violence. If someone's being violent at a protest march, we do not agree with that and we do not honor that." So they've established, violent uprising is bad. But Stonewall was a violent uprising. The only provocation being that cops came to do their jobs. So, one of these days/years it SHOULD have to come to pass that Pride Month or GLAAD or whatever the governing body of the gay nation is comes clean about the truth of Stonewall. Says "Actually Stonewall was horrible. Doesn't mean gay people should get brutalized, but we need to own up to the fact that gay people weren't victims that night. They were violent assailants." You can't go both ways. You can't be like "King is such a hero for his nonviolent resistance and Malcolm X is controversial for his violent resistance" but also be like "Nobody at Stonewall did anything wrong but the cops."

Unless... people are saying that if you're disenfranchised enough, violence IS the answer? Because then the question is, how bad does your life have to get before you can beat somebody up and be remembered as being on the "right side" of history?

Meanwhile, Yahoo! has decided to go in what looks like the exact opposite direction, and celebrate Eid al-Fitr. The end of Ramadan. The end of Muslim Lent.

Yahoo_Ramadan_Logo_Desktop.png

I got a spam robo call on the way home notifying me that al-Fitr starts tonight at sundown. I dunno how they got my number, but thank you, mysterious Brooklyn area phone number!

Speaking of gay stuff, after posting yesterday's journal entry I did some reading of the customer reviews for the highest rated toys on that one toy website. Both big and small. And, as I thought, mostly dudes. Most likely gay dudes. I looked for the ones that were more along my size. Why would anyone recommend this? What is this size, and by extension my size, good for? Turns out it's butt stuff. At first I thought I'd get a bunch of reviews saying "My ham wallet can't hold any Banzai Bills. But this is just right for me!" And I would just go for small women. I'm a small man, small in every way. So I probably need a small woman, small in every way. But no, the reviews are about butt stuff. Probably the butts of dudes. So if there are ANY women AT ALL in these small toy reviews? I'm probably gonna have to find one who prefers ass play. And that's a... dangerous road.

But what I wanna talk about are the bigger ones. The reviews I read for those kinda stuck with me. So many of them were the same thing. So similar were these reviews I wonder if these reviews are fake, and all made by one or two people. It says "Verified Buyer," but I don't know exactly what it takes to be a Verified Buyer. Yeah you probably have to buy something, but can you re-use the same, like, "proof of purchase" or whatever and put in multiple reviews for that product? I dunno. But I'm gonna assume that these are all different people. All sharing the same experience: "My WIFE uses this on ME! I love deep penetrating prostate stimulation-" but besides those reviews, there are these reviews: "My husband uses this on me because I don't like his dick. I love big dicks. I also love them when they're black, for some reason. He strapped this on and fucked me with it by surprise and I came harder and more frequently than I ever came with his dick. I love this toy SO much more than my own husband's penis. Oh, but don't worry, it's okay! Because afterwards I suck him off so that his needs are satisfied too."

Cucked by the toy, basically. And if this were admitted cuckoldry, I could just leave it alone. If these couples were like "Yeah, this is a cuck relationship, and we're okay with that." It'd be weird, but it would make sense. But what these couples are saying is "This isn't cuckoldry, because both of our needs are satisfied." These couples need to call this what it is. But they aren't, and I think this is symptomatic of a larger issue among couples nowadays. That you can alienate affection like this, but it's not cheating or cuckoldry if the couple stays together and sees that one another's needs are met. That you get points just for staying together even if you'd rather be fucking other people. Imagine if a man said plainly to his wife "I'm not attracted to you. I don't wanna fuck you. I'd rather fuck... uhhhh... let's say... Lucie Wilde. So here's what I'm gonna do. I'll fuck you, but I need to think about Lucie Wilde while I'm doing it. But don't worry, your sexual needs will be fulfilled. It'll just be with fantasies of Lucie Wilde and not you in my mind. Because I don't enjoy being with you physically. But I'll still do things for you." And yes, there are some women who are fine with that. "Yeah, my husband looks at porn all the time. You think I don't know he's thinking about Lucie Wilde? That's what 'couples' porn' is for! To give each of us someone to fantasize about besides our spouse!" But not being attracted to your spouse is not a good thing! It's a bad thing! This would be the kind of red flag that would come up in couple's therapy! It seems people have forgotten, a couple is supposed to actually LIKE each other! For the things that make a couple! The activities specific to couples, the intimacy, that's supposed to be enjoyable and satisfying as it is. But people have lost sight of that and believe that you can hate sex with your significant other and satisfy yourself with all sorts of extracurricular sexual aids, but as long as you guys are willing to stay together the relationship is a success. That's not normal.

I wonder how widespread this problem actually is. Because I like to tell myself that the majority of people understand that a couple should be enough for one another. Based on the reactions of the majority when news of these kinds of couples' dynamics break. For instance, there was this one woman on Reddit who owned this toy. And her sister finds it. An all too common problem. :feelshaha: And her sister is like "Oh, this is a nice size." If you're curious, the lady said it was 10 inches long and 6 inches around. I don't know how much of that is insertable, but probably all of it. Anyway, the woman is like "Yeah, it's bigger than my husband. I wish my husband was this big. His penis just isn't as satisfying as my toy." If you're curious, her husband is/was 6 inches long and 5 inches around. And he overheard her talkin' shit about his dick. And was naturally crushed beyond repair. And so she's goes on Reddit like "Did I fuck this up?"

https://incels.is/threads/if-you-could-be-with-someone-who-wasnt-attracted-to-you-would-you.57073/

And everyone's like "Yes!!! You BROKE that man! Your marriage is probably over how could you do this???" And she's like "But I don't even actually mind his small penis! I enjoy being with him more for the privilege of being intimate with an actual person!" The usual line. You hear this a lot when you "confront" women about this? And I'm not calling her a liar, I'm just saying it's not tenable stacked against "Boy oh boy this toy is so much more satisfying and preferable than my husband." And then there was this dude in Japan. I can't find a link to the story, but he won't have sex with his girlfriend. Why? Because he's in love with the 2D. And the natural response from the majority & the interviewer/journalist looking into this story was "How does your girlfriend feel about this?" Because it's easy for some people to be like "Well it's not like he's having actual sex with another woman, right?" But that's not what matters. What matters is when you start feeling feelings for someone or something that should be exclusively felt for your significant other. And here this dude is like "I'm sorry honey, but you just can't compare to my pure as porcelain high school ecchi ninja girls." And what does the girlfriend say? "I don't mind. I actually don't like sex so this works out for both of us." No it doesn't. It works out for each of you individually but not for the two of you as a couple because there is no "couple" here. He's spending seed on women, albeit 2D women, that should be spent on you.

And I think most people understand that. They let sleeping weirdos lie because if they wanna cuck themselves let them cuck themselves. But I do wonder how widespread this issue is. Because yeah the majority reaction is "You shouldn't fantasize about someone else if you're taken," but at the same time the sex drive is a powerful thing. And we can't all be Shane Diesel. Somebody has to be Brad Garrett. Somebody has to not measure up to the fantasies portrayed in porn. And whatever it is women enjoy. Kink novels, maybe, I dunno. And what happens to the people in those couples? I hear a lot of people out there saying that faithfulness is good and cuckoldry is bad. But I also know that there are a lot of ugly people out there. And therefore people who don't wanna be with an ugly person and wanna be with a pretty person. People who probably have urges of straying. So how can they go both ways? It's probably a lot simpler than I'm making it out to be. There's a difference between what's right, and what's fun. Most people know that a taken spouse shouldn't wanna fuck Shane Diesel or Lucie Wilde, their significant other should be the only one in the world for them. Because that's what's right. But what's FUN is fucking Shane Diesel or Lucie Wilde. I guess that's what they call... the blackpill? Or maybe tastes can be varied. Maybe there are different levels and flavors of fantasy and all these people and their significant others, in the eyes of their beholders, are all they need. I think that's what they call the bluepill though. :feelsthink:

"We must either love each other, or we must die." Lyndon Johnson. They say he had a big dick.
 
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"Black Don't Crack" or "Knowing What You Think, Inc."

TL;DR: Second dose of 7/8 doeses of ZMA before the deadline for something to happen. And bad news is coming out. Apparently zinc/ZMA doesn't turn everyone's dick magic. And so now I'm worried it won't happen for me. Maybe my dick is too old. Maybe I'm too low T. Speaking of the fears of old age and other existential fears, Black Mirror surprised me with a new season today. So I watched it. Three episodes. But the one that had the most upsetting effect on me was "Striking Vipers" because it hits on stuff that I was talking about earlier. I watched Black Mirror at work, actually, and I was very nervous about doing it. Actually, I'm nervous about doing anything at work besides work because I'm pretty sure they're gonna be on my nuts about it. And as a result, it has conditioned me to be a recluse who keeps to his cubicle. Which is sad because I'd like to be friends with these people.

Another day, another dosage. I went looking around to see other people's experience with zinc/ZMA. Ethnic Natsoc isn't the only one. I should definitely be feeling something after a week. So this is Strike 2 of... 8. Last night was more nothin'. And yet, even though I hope something happens, as I research I'm finding people who, like me, didn't experience all of the effects they hoped they would with ZMA. Case in point, u/TheShaker on Reddit. He took it for a week. And here's what he got.

​


No dick stuff. No libido increase, no semen increase, and the erections seem to be unrelated. Yes, he did experience better sleep and strength increases. And I haven't. But what I'm especially concerned about is how he didn't experience the dick stuff. That's the WHOLE reason I took this. So even if someday these start making me stronger, it won't be worth it unless I can get a satisfactory nut. Whether I'm "dating, mating, or masturbating," none of it matters if I don't have my head in the game.

A new season of Black Mirror snuck up on me. Is that soy? Or is it based? After this season you might wanna question your stance on it. But then it's in Black Mirror's nature to upset people. And at least one of these episodes did. 3 measly episodes though.



"Striking Vipers" or "What If Smash Bros., But Too Much?"​

While I'm on the subject of the struggles of old age! Here we have Falcon from Avengers. In his 20s he and his friend, Black Manta from Aquaman, would go to clubs, play video games like "Striking Vipers," get high, young people things. But boom, flash forward and it's his birthday and he's approaching 40. And oh, but where did the fun go? And as a man over 40 myself, I braced myself for this episode to drop some uncomfortable agepills. It was hitting all the right notes. His knee hurts. My knee hurts! He can't do anything fun because having a job takes up all of his time. I can't do anything fun because having a job takes up all of my time! Then his friend Black Manta shows up, after having been estranged for many years, and he starts really driving things home. He's all like "Hey you're looking old, you should hit the gym. I hit the gym because I too am also old." And Falcon's like "Nah, I'm married. Therefore I don't need to take care of my body." And Black Manta is like "Y'know to keep up with these young dudes I have to wax my balls, that's the new thing. Shaving your pubic hair." Which adds up, I think, because it came up in my dickfrauding thread.

https://looksmax.org/threads/dickfrauding.21140/

Both @Zeus and @dotacel agree...

Zeus said:
SHAVE THE HAIR AROUND THE DICK
Click to expand...

And Black Manta is all like "Look at my phone, check out this girl I'm nailing." And Falcon's all like "How old is she? She looks way too young for you, because you're old, like I am." And then Falcon's wife walks in and it's a bad look for him to be looking at hot, younger women on his friend's phone so he's like "Shh, here comes my wife," so that's his shackles of marriage coupled with her insecurity of being an older woman. A fistful of agepills. But anyway, Black Manta showed up to Falcon's birthday to give him a birthday gift: A copy of the latest entry in the "Striking Vipers" video game series: Striking Vipers X. And because it's Black Mirror, it's an immersive virtual reality experience. Video games. Like when they were young. Anyway, that night Falcon and his wife try to have sex because they're trying for a baby. But because old people are cursed with oldness, they just don't have it in either of them. Meanwhile, Black Manta is on a date with the JB he hooked up with. And he's all "Hey that bartender looks like Dennis Rodman!" This shows his age. Because his much younger filly has to Google "who is dennis rodman." And she's like "Oh, because of the hair." And Black Manta has to carry the sourness of not gelling with his date in the pit of his stomach. Then they go have sex. She breaks his gearshift off. But because she is young and he is old, and men have refractory periods, she's still ready to roll. If she got to orgasm at all. So she looks at whatever women look at on the Internet and frigs herself to completion. If only there was some virtual world where you could be young and fuck sexualized avatars of players. Even later that night, Falcon is at home playing Tetris when he gets a call from Black Manta via Black Mirror Discord or Black Mirror Steam or whatever it is. And he's all "Hey Falcon let's play the game!" And they play it. And basically... I just thought this was gonna be a story about Black Manta inviting Falcon into a fantasy world that usurped his love for his wife. Like, go to the Grand Exchange and buy him a GF and he would be grappling with the temptation of simulated youth vs. his commitment to his family. And... I guess some of that happened? I shouldn't talk about what happened. But Christ. Right in the expectations. Y'know, there's a lot of incels that talk about VR being the future solution to our problem. After seeing this episode, I just have to be wary of that idea. Like if there was some Second Life/VRChat of the future that worked like this? Think about it. And the ending! This episode hit on so much that I was talking about in the last post. About what makes a relationship. You can't just say "Well we fuck other other but we're still in a relationship" because where does it end??? Where is the line??? "Oh, me and this woman I've never met, we're in a relationship, but she has sex with other people and doesn't speak with me and is never in the same room as me. That's just the sacrifice I make to keep this relationship working." BAD ending. We MUST either love each other, or we must DIE!!! Lyndon Baines "Trickson Dixon" Johnson!!!

Moral Of The Story: Play as your actual gender online. Don't be one of those guys that's like "Well just because I'm a boy doesn't mean my character should be a boy."

This is why we don't let Americans make Black Mirror episodes!!! :feelsree::woke::feelsree::woke: This episode is the new "Shut Up And Dance." People are gonna be talking about this twist for a while.



"Smithereens" or "What If Notifications, But Too Much?" :feelsping:​

Back to the UK. I needed a palate cleanser after that last one. And at first this didn't look like it was gonna be able to shake the last episode from my mind. Moriarty from "Sherlock" is an Uber/Lyft driver who seems a little on edge. If I wasn't still headfucked from the last episode I would probably be wondering "What's that guy's deal?" He goes to a grief counseling meeting, one of those ones where everyone sits in a circle? And they're listening to this mother whose daughter took her own life. After the meeting, Moriarty and Mom run into each other and they're all like "Hey it was a good day today at the grief circle" to one another. Mom asks Moriarty if he'd like to go for a drink. And he's all "Nah I got work." But she convinces him. Smash cut to one of Black Mirror's gratuitous sex scenes, replete with uncomfortably realistic moaning. The next morning the two of them wake up and Mom explains to Moriarty that ever since her daughter died she's been trying to get into her daughter's Persona account (It's Black Mirror Facebook I guess, but with e-mails/messages or something) to get some closure. She wants to get into her daughter's messages to see if she can find some reason her daughter killed herself. But Persona is very uppity about their users' privacy and won't give her the password, even after her daughter has died. Best they can offer her is to lock the account up as an eternal memorial. Like Facebook does, I assume? So for the time being, Mom has been bruteforcing her way into the account. She gets 3 tries at the password until she's locked out for 24 hours. She's been doing this for what looks like a whole notebook of passwords. And so now I'm thinking "Oooh, so how does this whole Persona thing tie into the overarching narrative?" Fast forward to another Uber job for Moriarty. He picks up this young guy in a suit. Moriarty asks the young guy if he works at the building he picked him up outside of. Smithereen, Inc. Young guy says yeah, he's an intern there. And so Moriarty is all "Hey, there's some congestion in the road ahead, I'm gonna have to switch routes." He's not actually switching routes because there is no congestion. He's cancelling the fare. And taking this Smithereen intern somewhere. And a pattern becomes apparent: Moriarty has only been accepting jobs from people outside of the Smithereen building. He's been looking for a Smithereen employee. To take hostage. Why? Because he wants to talk to the guy in charge of Smithereen. Billy Bauer. And so I'm like "Ooooh, what gripping revelation will come when Moriarty finally gets to talk to Billy Bauer? Why would he do all this to talk to Billy Bauer?" In the end? It was to "confess" that he lost his girlfriend in a car crash because he was too distracted by notifications on the Smithereen app. To get the guilt off his chest. She and the other driver died in the crash and they blamed the other driver because he was drunk. But it was actually Moriarty's fault because he wasn't looking. He feels that he's the one who killed her, and he's surrounded by people who are thanking him for being so strong. People who don't know that he was at fault. Billy Bauer is all like "This is kinda on me because at Smithereen we make it so that notifications are addictive. We actually have a dedicated department whose only job is trying to make Smithereen more addictive and get people to chase the dopamine rush of getting notifications and following tag updates and so on." But Moriarty is like "I don't care about you, I'm sad about me. Anyway, thanks. Time for me to die." Billy begs him not to kill himself. He asks if there's anything he can do for Moriarty. Moriarty asks for a favor. Remember Persona Mom? Apparently Persona is either Smithereen subsidiary, or Billy knows the Persona people. So Billy gets Persona to give Persona Mom her daughter's password. Turns out it's the serial to the boat they owned. Anyway, with that out of the way, Moriarty prepares to kill himself. But the Smithereen Intern isn't having it. He attempts to wrest the gun from Moriarty's hands. And while the loaded gun is going between the both of them, the Armed Response sniper from the cops sees that a struggle is going on and is authorized to take the shot for Moriarty. She misses the first one. And the second...? :feelsahh:

The episode closes with people, who had been following the story on social media, switching to another thing on social media now that it's over. According to Brooker, maker of Black Mirror, it's symbolic of how a gripping tragedy affecting several lives personally is such a distant and fleeting thing to us Tweet chasers. We never learn what happens to Moriarty or the Intern or Persona Mom or why her daughter killed herself. The two story threads were hardly related. Kind of a "Slice Of Life" episode of Black Mirror. Just stuff that happened to be going on in the day.

Moral Of The Story: The mods know more about you than the cops and probably your families and if the FBI called Looksmax/incels.is looking for you Serge could probably tell them what you had for breakfast that morning.



"Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too" or "What If Kiddy Show Biz, But Too Much?"​

I just wonder if this one wasn't a little self-indulgent. This was the Miley Cyrus episode. And I wonder if she rocked up to Brooker like "I wanna produce an episode and it's basically about me." Anyway, there's this girl named Rachel, she likes Miley Cyrus. Big fan. Expresses this at several points in the episode. Rachel has a sister, Jack. Jack hates Miley Cyrus and her preppy bubblegum bullshit. She likes the rock n' roll, see. Jack is a rocker chick, Rachel is less so, they're just total opposites, these two. How could things get any rockier for Rachel? How about the fact that she's new in town and has no friends at her new school, Ritman High, and also she is very shy? I'm friendless too, I can relate. Oh, but there's a talent show coming up at Ritman! Singing and dancing and the like! Imagine her having the confidence to enter that! And share her love of Miley Cyrus! Finally coming out of her shell! Oh, but not her. She's shy. Fortunately, she has the support of her bumbling but well meaning father who is self-employed as a mouse catcher. Except it's Black Mirror and he invents his own super high tech mouse traps that deal with the neural makeup of mouse brains. Anyway, Rachel is watching what I guess is MTV when they advertise a doll called Ashley Too, which is like a Tekno or a Poo-Chi or a Johnny Apple Bot but with... the neural makeup of Miley Cyrus! :feelsohh: Rachel obviously wants one. She gets one for her 15th birthday and Ashley Too helps Rachel find her confidence. Meanwhile, Miley Cyrus might look happy on the outside, but it's actually an enforced persona, masterminded by her wicked stepmother/aunt and her team of doctors, strongman bloatlords, and fresh dressing social media influencers. Miley Cyrus, she, she would like to write real music. But they keep taking what she makes and sanitizing it for a Radio Disney audience. They drug her, they operate her Instagram account... and it's up to "Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too" to save Miley Cyrus! In the end, Miley Cyrus is rescued from a chemically induced coma, and she goes on to invent Nine Inch Nails with Rachel and Jack. And Ashley Too is along for the ride! Some of Miley's old fans from her bubblegum pop era come to the club that she's playing at. And they're like "Ewwwww! She's all like rock n' roll now and not like how she used to be!" But Miley and the gang, they're just lovin' life right now. Fuck those fans, she's free for the first time in years. This episode had disguises and harebrained schemes and everything. This, I'm guessing, was supposed to be the light note to end the season on.

Nine Inch Nails are kinda angry that Miley Cyrus went and squatted on their favorite band like this. Most people get mad when Miley Cyrus covers a song. But Trent Reznor is like "Not only does she get to use our song, but we wanna sell these t-shirts that reference the episode!"

​


Moral Of The Story: All your favorite music is dead because the normies like it now.




I actually watched this season at work today and it was a real hassle. Because of all the sex scenes? It really sucks, because so much at my job is blocked,but Netflix is one of the few things that isn't. And yet the only thing to watch is stuff like Black Mirror. And I have to be on good behavior here. I'm pretty sure they'll understand if I'm not consciously seeking out porn. If sex pops up on the screen without my knowing, I think they'll understand, provided I exercise responsible discretion when it does. Tab out or something. I didn't know a sex scene was coming. I can never know. And so remaining in good faith with my work involves scrambling to hide the sex scenes in the background. Simply making sure they're not on my screen. Simply not knowingly seeking out porn. But it's a hassle. And I'm real paranoid about who's watching. It's not just Black Mirror and it's not just Netflix. I think a major reason why I'm so unhappy with work, despite how I've been working there like 12 years and no raise, is that I feel like somebody's always on my case about keeping my nose to the grindstone. I don't want people to see my screen because I'm pretty sure they're gonna be like "Frothy? Are you loli gagging you need to be working" and internally I'm like "I WILL GET THE WORK DONE!!! YOU BEING HERE IS MAKING THE WORK NOT GET DONE!!!" This is a tension I think I've internalized and barely am aware of right now. It's just an ever present introversion. I keep to my cubicle and don't bother anyone. Which is a shame. Because I'm interested in other people, it's just I'm gun shy of sharing myself with those people. It's okay if I know about you, but I don't want you to know about me. Because you'll yell at me for not working.

Just one of many reasons why I have to get out. Of this kind of life in general, that I'm living.
 
FrothySolutions said:
"Black Don't Crack" or "Knowing What You Think, Inc."

TL;DR: Second dose of 7/8 doeses of ZMA before the deadline for something to happen. And bad news is coming out. Apparently zinc/ZMA doesn't turn everyone's dick magic. And so now I'm worried it won't happen for me. Maybe my dick is too old. Maybe I'm too low T. Speaking of the fears of old age and other existential fears, Black Mirror surprised me with a new season today. So I watched it. Three episodes. But the one that had the most upsetting effect on me was "Striking Vipers" because it hits on stuff that I was talking about earlier. I watched Black Mirror at work, actually, and I was very nervous about doing it. Actually, I'm nervous about doing anything at work besides work because I'm pretty sure they're gonna be on my nuts about it. And as a result, it has conditioned me to be a recluse who keeps to his cubicle. Which is sad because I'd like to be friends with these people.

Another day, another dosage. I went looking around to see other people's experience with zinc/ZMA. Ethnic Natsoc isn't the only one. I should definitely be feeling something after a week. So this is Strike 2 of... 8. Last night was more nothin'. And yet, even though I hope something happens, as I research I'm finding people who, like me, didn't experience all of the effects they hoped they would with ZMA. Case in point, u/TheShaker on Reddit. He took it for a week. And here's what he got.

​


No dick stuff. No libido increase, no semen increase, and the erections seem to be unrelated. Yes, he did experience better sleep and strength increases. And I haven't. But what I'm especially concerned about is how he didn't experience the dick stuff. That's the WHOLE reason I took this. So even if someday these start making me stronger, it won't be worth it unless I can get a satisfactory nut. Whether I'm "dating, mating, or masturbating," none of it matters if I don't have my head in the game.

A new season of Black Mirror snuck up on me. Is that soy? Or is it based? After this season you might wanna question your stance on it. But then it's in Black Mirror's nature to upset people. And at least one of these episodes did. 3 measly episodes though.



"Striking Vipers" or "What If Smash Bros., But Too Much?"​

While I'm on the subject of the struggles of old age! Here we have Falcon from Avengers. In his 20s he and his friend, Black Manta from Aquaman, would go to clubs, play video games like "Striking Vipers," get high, young people things. But boom, flash forward and it's his birthday and he's approaching 40. And oh, but where did the fun go? And as a man over 40 myself, I braced myself for this episode to drop some uncomfortable agepills. It was hitting all the right notes. His knee hurts. My knee hurts! He can't do anything fun because having a job takes up all of his time. I can't do anything fun because having a job takes up all of my time! Then his friend Black Manta shows up, after having been estranged for many years, and he starts really driving things home. He's all like "Hey you're looking old, you should hit the gym. I hit the gym because I too am also old." And Falcon's like "Nah, I'm married. Therefore I don't need to take care of my body." And Black Manta is like "Y'know to keep up with these young dudes I have to wax my balls, that's the new thing. Shaving your pubic hair." Which adds up, I think, because it came up in my dickfrauding thread.

https://looksmax.org/threads/dickfrauding.21140/

Both @Zeus and @dotacel agree...



And Black Manta is all like "Look at my phone, check out this girl I'm nailing." And Falcon's all like "How old is she? She looks way too young for you, because you're old, like I am." And then Falcon's wife walks in and it's a bad look for him to be looking at hot, younger women on his friend's phone so he's like "Shh, here comes my wife," so that's his shackles of marriage coupled with her insecurity of being an older woman. A fistful of agepills. But anyway, Black Manta showed up to Falcon's birthday to give him a birthday gift: A copy of the latest entry in the "Striking Vipers" video game series: Striking Vipers X. And because it's Black Mirror, it's an immersive virtual reality experience. Video games. Like when they were young. Anyway, that night Falcon and his wife try to have sex because they're trying for a baby. But because old people are cursed with oldness, they just don't have it in either of them. Meanwhile, Black Manta is on a date with the JB he hooked up with. And he's all "Hey that bartender looks like Dennis Rodman!" This shows his age. Because his much younger filly has to Google "who is dennis rodman." And she's like "Oh, because of the hair." And Black Manta has to carry the sourness of not gelling with his date in the pit of his stomach. Then they go have sex. She breaks his gearshift off. But because she is young and he is old, and men have refractory periods, she's still ready to roll. If she got to orgasm at all. So she looks at whatever women look at on the Internet and frigs herself to completion. If only there was some virtual world where you could be young and fuck sexualized avatars of players. Even later that night, Falcon is at home playing Tetris when he gets a call from Black Manta via Black Mirror Discord or Black Mirror Steam or whatever it is. And he's all "Hey Falcon let's play the game!" And they play it. And basically... I just thought this was gonna be a story about Black Manta inviting Falcon into a fantasy world that usurped his love for his wife. Like, go to the Grand Exchange and buy him a GF and he would be grappling with the temptation of simulated youth vs. his commitment to his family. And... I guess some of that happened? I shouldn't talk about what happened. But Christ. Right in the expectations. Y'know, there's a lot of incels that talk about VR being the future solution to our problem. After seeing this episode, I just have to be wary of that idea. Like if there was some Second Life/VRChat of the future that worked like this? Think about it. And the ending! This episode hit on so much that I was talking about in the last post. About what makes a relationship. You can't just say "Well we fuck other other but we're still in a relationship" because where does it end??? Where is the line??? "Oh, me and this woman I've never met, we're in a relationship, but she has sex with other people and doesn't speak with me and is never in the same room as me. That's just the sacrifice I make to keep this relationship working." BAD ending. We MUST either love each other, or we must DIE!!! Lyndon Baines "Trickson Dixon" Johnson!!!

Moral Of The Story: Play as your actual gender online. Don't be one of those guys that's like "Well just because I'm a boy doesn't mean my character should be a boy."

This is why we don't let Americans make Black Mirror episodes!!! :feelsree::woke::feelsree::woke: This episode is the new "Shut Up And Dance." People are gonna be talking about this twist for a while.



"Smithereens" or "What If Notifications, But Too Much?" :feelsping:​

Back to the UK. I needed a palate cleanser after that last one. And at first this didn't look like it was gonna be able to shake the last episode from my mind. Moriarty from "Sherlock" is an Uber/Lyft driver who seems a little on edge. If I wasn't still headfucked from the last episode I would probably be wondering "What's that guy's deal?" He goes to a grief counseling meeting, one of those ones where everyone sits in a circle? And they're listening to this mother whose daughter took her own life. After the meeting, Moriarty and Mom run into each other and they're all like "Hey it was a good day today at the grief circle" to one another. Mom asks Moriarty if he'd like to go for a drink. And he's all "Nah I got work." But she convinces him. Smash cut to one of Black Mirror's gratuitous sex scenes, replete with uncomfortably realistic moaning. The next morning the two of them wake up and Mom explains to Moriarty that ever since her daughter died she's been trying to get into her daughter's Persona account (It's Black Mirror Facebook I guess, but with e-mails/messages or something) to get some closure. She wants to get into her daughter's messages to see if she can find some reason her daughter killed herself. But Persona is very uppity about their users' privacy and won't give her the password, even after her daughter has died. Best they can offer her is to lock the account up as an eternal memorial. Like Facebook does, I assume? So for the time being, Mom has been bruteforcing her way into the account. She gets 3 tries at the password until she's locked out for 24 hours. She's been doing this for what looks like a whole notebook of passwords. And so now I'm thinking "Oooh, so how does this whole Persona thing tie into the overarching narrative?" Fast forward to another Uber job for Moriarty. He picks up this young guy in a suit. Moriarty asks the young guy if he works at the building he picked him up outside of. Smithereen, Inc. Young guy says yeah, he's an intern there. And so Moriarty is all "Hey, there's some congestion in the road ahead, I'm gonna have to switch routes." He's not actually switching routes because there is no congestion. He's cancelling the fare. And taking this Smithereen intern somewhere. And a pattern becomes apparent: Moriarty has only been accepting jobs from people outside of the Smithereen building. He's been looking for a Smithereen employee. To take hostage. Why? Because he wants to talk to the guy in charge of Smithereen. Billy Bauer. And so I'm like "Ooooh, what gripping revelation will come when Moriarty finally gets to talk to Billy Bauer? Why would he do all this to talk to Billy Bauer?" In the end? It was to "confess" that he lost his girlfriend in a car crash because he was too distracted by notifications on the Smithereen app. To get the guilt off his chest. She and the other driver died in the crash and they blamed the other driver because he was drunk. But it was actually Moriarty's fault because he wasn't looking. He feels that he's the one who killed her, and he's surrounded by people who are thanking him for being so strong. People who don't know that he was at fault. Billy Bauer is all like "This is kinda on me because at Smithereen we make it so that notifications are addictive. We actually have a dedicated department whose only job is trying to make Smithereen more addictive and get people to chase the dopamine rush of getting notifications and following tag updates and so on." But Moriarty is like "I don't care about you, I'm sad about me. Anyway, thanks. Time for me to die." Billy begs him not to kill himself. He asks if there's anything he can do for Moriarty. Moriarty asks for a favor. Remember Persona Mom? Apparently Persona is either Smithereen subsidiary, or Billy knows the Persona people. So Billy gets Persona to give Persona Mom her daughter's password. Turns out it's the serial to the boat they owned. Anyway, with that out of the way, Moriarty prepares to kill himself. But the Smithereen Intern isn't having it. He attempts to wrest the gun from Moriarty's hands. And while the loaded gun is going between the both of them, the Armed Response sniper from the cops sees that a struggle is going on and is authorized to take the shot for Moriarty. She misses the first one. And the second...? :feelsahh:

The episode closes with people, who had been following the story on social media, switching to another thing on social media now that it's over. According to Brooker, maker of Black Mirror, it's symbolic of how a gripping tragedy affecting several lives personally is such a distant and fleeting thing to us Tweet chasers. We never learn what happens to Moriarty or the Intern or Persona Mom or why her daughter killed herself. The two story threads were hardly related. Kind of a "Slice Of Life" episode of Black Mirror. Just stuff that happened to be going on in the day.

Moral Of The Story: The mods know more about you than the cops and probably your families and if the FBI called Looksmax/incels.is looking for you Serge could probably tell them what you had for breakfast that morning.



"Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too" or "What If Kiddy Show Biz, But Too Much?"​

I just wonder if this one wasn't a little self-indulgent. This was the Miley Cyrus episode. And I wonder if she rocked up to Brooker like "I wanna produce an episode and it's basically about me." Anyway, there's this girl named Rachel, she likes Miley Cyrus. Big fan. Expresses this at several points in the episode. Rachel has a sister, Jack. Jack hates Miley Cyrus and her preppy bubblegum bullshit. She likes the rock n' roll, see. Jack is a rocker chick, Rachel is less so, they're just total opposites, these two. How could things get any rockier for Rachel? How about the fact that she's new in town and has no friends at her new school, Ritman High, and also she is very shy? I'm friendless too, I can relate. Oh, but there's a talent show coming up at Ritman! Singing and dancing and the like! Imagine her having the confidence to enter that! And share her love of Miley Cyrus! Finally coming out of her shell! Oh, but not her. She's shy. Fortunately, she has the support of her bumbling but well meaning father who is self-employed as a mouse catcher. Except it's Black Mirror and he invents his own super high tech mouse traps that deal with the neural makeup of mouse brains. Anyway, Rachel is watching what I guess is MTV when they advertise a doll called Ashley Too, which is like a Tekno or a Poo-Chi or a Johnny Apple Bot but with... the neural makeup of Miley Cyrus! :feelsohh: Rachel obviously wants one. She gets one for her 15th birthday and Ashley Too helps Rachel find her confidence. Meanwhile, Miley Cyrus might look happy on the outside, but it's actually an enforced persona, masterminded by her wicked stepmother/aunt and her team of doctors, strongman bloatlords, and fresh dressing social media influencers. Miley Cyrus, she, she would like to write real music. But they keep taking what she makes and sanitizing it for a Radio Disney audience. They drug her, they operate her Instagram account... and it's up to "Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too" to save Miley Cyrus! In the end, Miley Cyrus is rescued from a chemically induced coma, and she goes on to invent Nine Inch Nails with Rachel and Jack. And Ashley Too is along for the ride! Some of Miley's old fans from her bubblegum pop era come to the club that she's playing at. And they're like "Ewwwww! She's all like rock n' roll now and not like how she used to be!" But Miley and the gang, they're just lovin' life right now. Fuck those fans, she's free for the first time in years. This episode had disguises and harebrained schemes and everything. This, I'm guessing, was supposed to be the light note to end the season on.

Nine Inch Nails are kinda angry that Miley Cyrus went and squatted on their favorite band like this. Most people get mad when Miley Cyrus covers a song. But Trent Reznor is like "Not only does she get to use our song, but we wanna sell these t-shirts that reference the episode!"

​


Moral Of The Story: All your favorite music is dead because the normies like it now.




I actually watched this season at work today and it was a real hassle. Because of all the sex scenes? It really sucks, because so much at my job is blocked,but Netflix is one of the few things that isn't. And yet the only thing to watch is stuff like Black Mirror. And I have to be on good behavior here. I'm pretty sure they'll understand if I'm not consciously seeking out porn. If sex pops up on the screen without my knowing, I think they'll understand, provided I exercise responsible discretion when it does. Tab out or something. I didn't know a sex scene was coming. I can never know. And so remaining in good faith with my work involves scrambling to hide the sex scenes in the background. Simply making sure they're not on my screen. Simply not knowingly seeking out porn. But it's a hassle. And I'm real paranoid about who's watching. It's not just Black Mirror and it's not just Netflix. I think a major reason why I'm so unhappy with work, despite how I've been working there like 12 years and no raise, is that I feel like somebody's always on my case about keeping my nose to the grindstone. I don't want people to see my screen because I'm pretty sure they're gonna be like "Frothy? Are you loli gagging you need to be working" and internally I'm like "I WILL GET THE WORK DONE!!! YOU BEING HERE IS MAKING THE WORK NOT GET DONE!!!" This is a tension I think I've internalized and barely am aware of right now. It's just an ever present introversion. I keep to my cubicle and don't bother anyone. Which is a shame. Because I'm interested in other people, it's just I'm gun shy of sharing myself with those people. It's okay if I know about you, but I don't want you to know about me. Because you'll yell at me for not working.

Just one of many reasons why I have to get out. Of this kind of life in general, that I'm living.
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