gautama333
Trismegistus
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2026
- Posts
- 150
- Reputation
- 111
This post, unlike others before were I mixed truth with jokes, is completely serious. I will try to justify it to the best of my ability, and I fear I might be somewhat imprecise and irrational, but this is the best I can give as of now. Sorry for the broken english.
3 years ago, I was completely isolated. I had a couple of good friends that I still have to this day, a very healthy lifestyle, virgin, and usually alone (mostly didn't care about it).
Then, the summer before uni, I did a couple things to ascend (not that much, I just cleared acne and got anything else than a buzz cut) and got determined to try the things everyone was talking about, which means parties, drugs, foids, etc.
I lost my virginity to a 26 y/o married woman who was good looking enough and who basically expected nothing of me. This was still on the summer and this went on until I went no contact cause I felt dirty. The only thing she made me do is drink with her and that is how my habit started. After that I started drinking with friends and hanging out with more people with worse habits. I wasn't mad succesfull but I started getting around a little bit more. Each time, the ending was horrible, I lost all peace and purpose, and all awareness of how meaningless and entirely fake it was. I don't remember saying much that was true to anyone at that time, neither friends or the people I slept with. Soon enough I was swallowed by desires that never lead to anything but worsening my conditions, and of which the knowledge and perception was profoundly ambiguous and alienating. I won't go into much detail about why I think that, but most social interaction is about everything but communication, instead being a perverse game to keep oneself away from reality, with desire silencing conscience.
After my alcoholism was at it's worst I had an intervention from a couple of these friends that were always with me and family. I, for once, listened and quit alcohol, smoking, and other recreational drugs. I cut contact with everyone from the environment I was in. After a month I feel like I have returned to the life I had before all of this, and all I can say is, it's so much better. Getting laid and having many friends isn't worth it, almost nothing about social life is worth it, only commitment to reason and, to the best of my ability, good can be truly fulfilling.
To those looking to ascend and getting into the normal young adult life, I'd recommend otherwise. Since I did, I feel I have been blind entirely, and nothing good came out of it. Please, don't try to fulfill desire, but just desire to have none other than that of truth. "A life without self examination is not worth living", and I strive to make mine worth living again.
3 years ago, I was completely isolated. I had a couple of good friends that I still have to this day, a very healthy lifestyle, virgin, and usually alone (mostly didn't care about it).
Then, the summer before uni, I did a couple things to ascend (not that much, I just cleared acne and got anything else than a buzz cut) and got determined to try the things everyone was talking about, which means parties, drugs, foids, etc.
I lost my virginity to a 26 y/o married woman who was good looking enough and who basically expected nothing of me. This was still on the summer and this went on until I went no contact cause I felt dirty. The only thing she made me do is drink with her and that is how my habit started. After that I started drinking with friends and hanging out with more people with worse habits. I wasn't mad succesfull but I started getting around a little bit more. Each time, the ending was horrible, I lost all peace and purpose, and all awareness of how meaningless and entirely fake it was. I don't remember saying much that was true to anyone at that time, neither friends or the people I slept with. Soon enough I was swallowed by desires that never lead to anything but worsening my conditions, and of which the knowledge and perception was profoundly ambiguous and alienating. I won't go into much detail about why I think that, but most social interaction is about everything but communication, instead being a perverse game to keep oneself away from reality, with desire silencing conscience.
After my alcoholism was at it's worst I had an intervention from a couple of these friends that were always with me and family. I, for once, listened and quit alcohol, smoking, and other recreational drugs. I cut contact with everyone from the environment I was in. After a month I feel like I have returned to the life I had before all of this, and all I can say is, it's so much better. Getting laid and having many friends isn't worth it, almost nothing about social life is worth it, only commitment to reason and, to the best of my ability, good can be truly fulfilling.
To those looking to ascend and getting into the normal young adult life, I'd recommend otherwise. Since I did, I feel I have been blind entirely, and nothing good came out of it. Please, don't try to fulfill desire, but just desire to have none other than that of truth. "A life without self examination is not worth living", and I strive to make mine worth living again.
