Seth Walsh
Iconoclast
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- Jan 12, 2020
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Something I think gets overlooked here.
Say you spend a year improving. Get leaner, sort your hair, dress better. You actually look noticeably different.
But you're still using the same old photos. Still avoiding eye contact. Still not going anywhere. Still deciding someone won't be interested before you've even spoken to them.
You've changed how you look, but you're making decisions based on how people treated you two years ago.
And then you think the improvement did nothing.
I'm not saying confidence magically fixes everything. I'm saying if you never give anyone a chance to respond differently, how would you even know what's changed?
There's a weird lag where other people might see someone new, while you're still expecting the old reaction.
You can keep improving forever without ever finding out whether you've already improved enough to do the thing you're postponing.
For anyone who's had a noticeable glow-up: did your life change straight away, or only once you stopped acting like the old version of yourself?
Say you spend a year improving. Get leaner, sort your hair, dress better. You actually look noticeably different.
But you're still using the same old photos. Still avoiding eye contact. Still not going anywhere. Still deciding someone won't be interested before you've even spoken to them.
You've changed how you look, but you're making decisions based on how people treated you two years ago.
And then you think the improvement did nothing.
I'm not saying confidence magically fixes everything. I'm saying if you never give anyone a chance to respond differently, how would you even know what's changed?
There's a weird lag where other people might see someone new, while you're still expecting the old reaction.
You can keep improving forever without ever finding out whether you've already improved enough to do the thing you're postponing.
For anyone who's had a noticeable glow-up: did your life change straight away, or only once you stopped acting like the old version of yourself?
