1st day of school as a ND individual (Cried when I got home)

[atomstetic]

I've made threads on this topic before. I'll link the most recent one:

https://looksmax.org/threads/i-feel-so-infatuated-with-this-girl-update.2349328/

---

If you're going to troll, say "DNR" or anything alike, I beg you to skip this thread.

---

Today was the first day of school. I hated it. I can't believe I will have to do this for another two years.

To start, I do very well in school without studying. I've never struggled to understand anything, and I pass every class while doing pretty much no work the whole year.

The issue is that I don't like to do any work in relation to subjects I'm not interested in. This means I do very well in a select few classes and barely pass the rest.

Today, I was forced to socialise the entire day. The girl from my older thread also goes to my school. She is a senior. I believe she was looking at me a few times, but I'm not the best at catching social cues, although I try. I didn't speak to her at all today. I'm pretty sure I was supposed to, but oh well.

One problem I have is: how would I even start a conversation? Would I just say hello? That seems extremely awkward, especially if she's with her friends. Even if I did start with hello, what would we talk about after? I'm used to planning out my conversations by playing out many scenarios in my head beforehand, but I can't think of a good conversation to have with her.

I obviously have some hyper-fixations — one of them being my looks, which I certainly can't talk about. I want to seem neurotypical around her, but every day that I have to mask myself becomes more and more tiring (which is likely why I cried when I came home from school today. I'm not really sure why I cried, but I did).

I genuinely want to tell her how I'm ND and how I struggle to understand social cues, social conventions, how I pre-plan almost everything, how I'd rather sit in my room all day and watch YouTube, and how school is so draining for me. I'd also like to apologise for not going up to talk to her today if she prompted it somehow. The problem is that if I misread the situation again and she was just looking at me because I'm a person she's familiar with, then I would seem like a weirdo for saying all of this.

I am just so tired. I think about how I'm walking, sitting, how my resting face looks, if I'm squinting, if I'm currently revealing my hideous negative hooding, if my posture is okay, if my smile looks weird, if I'm doing something that could be making any of my flaws more visible, and more. There's just so much always going through my mind. I hate it so much. I overthink everything. I overanalyse everything. Socialising is more mentally draining and challenging than a chess game, even though I mask my neurodivergence quite well.

There's more that was on my mind, but I'm just so fucking tired. I wish my brain was different. Overall, I wish I was different.

Please give me advice.

From tomorrow on, I might just sleep in every class as I sometimes used to.

 

[Jordan Barrett]

Dnr yet but i will read okay ?

 

[atomstetic]

Dnr yet but i will read okay ?

Thank you

 

[dimocel]

I've made threads on this topic before. I'll link the most recent one:

https://looksmax.org/threads/i-feel-so-infatuated-with-this-girl-update.2349328/

---

If you're going to troll, say "DNR" or anything alike, I beg you to skip this thread.

---

Today was the first day of school. I hated it. I can't believe I will have to do this for another two years.

To start, I do very well in school without studying. I've never struggled to understand anything, and I pass every class while doing pretty much no work the whole year.

The issue is that I don't like to do any work in relation to subjects I'm not interested in. This means I do very well in a select few classes and barely pass the rest.

Today, I was forced to socialise the entire day. The girl from my older thread also goes to my school. She is a senior. I believe she was looking at me a few times, but I'm not the best at catching social cues, although I try. I didn't speak to her at all today. I'm pretty sure I was supposed to, but oh well.

One problem I have is: how would I even start a conversation? Would I just say hello? That seems extremely awkward, especially if she's with her friends. Even if I did start with hello, what would we talk about after? I'm used to planning out my conversations by playing out many scenarios in my head beforehand, but I can't think of a good conversation to have with her.

I obviously have some hyper-fixations — one of them being my looks, which I certainly can't talk about. I want to seem neurotypical around her, but every day that I have to mask myself becomes more and more tiring (which is likely why I cried when I came home from school today. I'm not really sure why I cried, but I did).

I genuinely want to tell her how I'm ND and how I struggle to understand social cues, social conventions, how I pre-plan almost everything, how I'd rather sit in my room all day and watch YouTube, and how school is so draining for me. I'd also like to apologise for not going up to talk to her today if she prompted it somehow. The problem is that if I misread the situation again and she was just looking at me because I'm a person she's familiar with, then I would seem like a weirdo for saying all of this.

I am just so tired. I think about how I'm walking, sitting, how my resting face looks, if I'm squinting, if I'm currently revealing my hideous negative hooding, if my posture is okay, if my smile looks weird, if I'm doing something that could be making any of my flaws more visible, and more. There's just so much always going through my mind. I hate it so much. I overthink everything. I overanalyse everything. Socialising is more mentally draining and challenging than a chess game, even though I mask my neurodivergence quite well.

There's more that was on my mind, but I'm just so fucking tired. I wish my brain was different. Overall, I wish I was different.

Please give me advice.

From tomorrow on, I might just sleep in every class as I sometimes used to.

Leaving school is always the best part of my day

 

[Jordan Barrett]

Thank you

I genuinely think you should tell her the truth

 

[atomstetic]

I genuinely think you should tell her the truth

I don't know. I've thought this through a lot, but I think I need to give it more thought.

What's sad is this is the only girl that I've ever actually felt "love" or infatuated towards. What if she genuinely doesn't give a shit about me?

What if a relationship is impossible for me because of the way my brain is

 

[Jordan Barrett]

I don't know. I've thought this through a lot, but I think I need to give it more thought.

What's sad is this is the only girl that I've ever actually felt "love" or infatuated towards. What if she genuinely doesn't give a shit about me?

What if a relationship is impossible for me because of the way my brain is

Stop overthinking holy shit

 

[atomstetic]

Stop overthinking holy shit

I wish it were so easy

 

[Jordan Barrett]

I wish it were so easy

Put beers in your bottle tmr

 

[rc201]

By the way when ur older you will regret you didn’t try harder. Life is just a game nothing is as serious as it seems, insecurities kill everything, it’s all fake… just be urself and remember nothing is really that serious, ofc looksmax but don’t do retard shit like squinting and biting ur cheeks.. spread positivity and make the girl feel comfortable.. depends on ur archetype and if ur mtn+ you should be fine. Read mystery method it really does help in female psychology

 

[atomstetic]

Put beers in your bottle tmr

I might have 2 or 3 shots before school until my pregab comes

 

[Jordan Barrett]

Yes

I might have 2 or 3 shots before school until my pregab comes

thats a good idea

 

[atomstetic]

By the way when ur older you will regret you didn’t try harder. Life is just a game nothing is as serious as it seems, insecurities kill everything, it’s all fake… just be urself and remember nothing is really that serious, ofc looksmax but don’t do retard shit like squinting and biting ur cheeks.. spread positivity and make the girl feel comfortable.. depends on ur archetype and if ur mtn+ you should be fine. Read mystery method it really does help in female psychology

I really do try to do so but I can't stop being so self-conscious, pharmacology might be the only thing that will save me.

 

[rc201]

I really do try to do so but I can't stop being so self-conscious, pharmacology might be the only thing that will save me.

Wouldn’t be a bad, try out pregab just don’t get addicted. Once you cold approach 100+ girls trust me you’ll be a master . R u mtn+? girls are afraid of chads btw

 

[atomstetic]

Wouldn’t be a bad, try out pregab just don’t get addicted. Once you cold approach 100+ girls trust me you’ll be a master . R u mtn+? girls are afraid of chads btw

I am MTN, but I'm kind of descending because I'm broke and my mental health isn't currently the best.

I am 6'5, but in my country, approximately 40% of males are 6ft, so it's not as special as it seems (either way I larp 6'6.5).

I find it interesting that recently I've been craving novelty, and having a girlfriend/love would be a completely new experience that I have always craved. Yet I overthink it and am afraid of it, mostly because of the ways I could mess it up or not be accepted.

 

[Defiray]

I've made threads on this topic before. I'll link the most recent one:

https://looksmax.org/threads/i-feel-so-infatuated-with-this-girl-update.2349328/

---

If you're going to troll, say "DNR" or anything alike, I beg you to skip this thread.

---

Today was the first day of school. I hated it. I can't believe I will have to do this for another two years.

To start, I do very well in school without studying. I've never struggled to understand anything, and I pass every class while doing pretty much no work the whole year.

The issue is that I don't like to do any work in relation to subjects I'm not interested in. This means I do very well in a select few classes and barely pass the rest.

Today, I was forced to socialise the entire day. The girl from my older thread also goes to my school. She is a senior. I believe she was looking at me a few times, but I'm not the best at catching social cues, although I try. I didn't speak to her at all today. I'm pretty sure I was supposed to, but oh well.

One problem I have is: how would I even start a conversation? Would I just say hello? That seems extremely awkward, especially if she's with her friends. Even if I did start with hello, what would we talk about after? I'm used to planning out my conversations by playing out many scenarios in my head beforehand, but I can't think of a good conversation to have with her.

I obviously have some hyper-fixations — one of them being my looks, which I certainly can't talk about. I want to seem neurotypical around her, but every day that I have to mask myself becomes more and more tiring (which is likely why I cried when I came home from school today. I'm not really sure why I cried, but I did).

I genuinely want to tell her how I'm ND and how I struggle to understand social cues, social conventions, how I pre-plan almost everything, how I'd rather sit in my room all day and watch YouTube, and how school is so draining for me. I'd also like to apologise for not going up to talk to her today if she prompted it somehow. The problem is that if I misread the situation again and she was just looking at me because I'm a person she's familiar with, then I would seem like a weirdo for saying all of this.

I am just so tired. I think about how I'm walking, sitting, how my resting face looks, if I'm squinting, if I'm currently revealing my hideous negative hooding, if my posture is okay, if my smile looks weird, if I'm doing something that could be making any of my flaws more visible, and more. There's just so much always going through my mind. I hate it so much. I overthink everything. I overanalyse everything. Socialising is more mentally draining and challenging than a chess game, even though I mask my neurodivergence quite well.

There's more that was on my mind, but I'm just so fucking tired. I wish my brain was different. Overall, I wish I was different.

Please give me advice.

From tomorrow on, I might just sleep in every class as I sometimes used to.

I'm going to school tomorrow... The same shitty things will happend to me for sure... its over

 

[atomstetic]

I'm going to school tomorrow... The same shitty things will happend to me for sure... its over

Good luck

 

[rc201]

I am MTN, but I'm kind of descending because I'm broke and my mental health isn't currently the best.

I am 6'5, but in my country, approximately 40% of males are 6ft, so it's not as special as it seems (either way I larp 6'6.5).

I find it interesting that recently I've been craving novelty, and having a girlfriend/love would be a completely new experience that I have always craved. Yet I overthink it and am afraid of it, mostly because of the ways I could mess it up or not be accepted.

Don’t be gay little buddy. Ur literally enough it’s all just a matter of rizz now, you see how clav with 0 rizz can’t pick up literal whores only the fame got him that. So all the things u know about looking better apply it to rizz, a good place to start is Mystery method book. Game changer for real

 

[Slavurik]

Yk u don't have to be social at school? Just pick some low profile seat in the class and don't make troubles, no one will even notice you or give a fuck. I just finished HS, it is not that complicated

 

[Slavurik]

Don’t be gay little buddy. Ur literally enough it’s all just a matter of rizz now, you see how clav with 0 rizz can’t pick up literal whores only the fame got him that. So all the things u know about looking better apply it to rizz, a good place to start is Mystery method book. Game changer for real

Nigga Clav had 100+ bodies even before his fame and he was pretty good looking before he descended. It is true he has 0 rizz and social skills but when you are tall and good looking and low inhib you will slay

 

[Jason5000]

sorry to hear that man. I guess you could try to find other ND/socially outcast people or otherwise chill people. I kind of gravitated to those kind of people in the last few years of HS, which made it bearable.

 

[atomstetic]

Don’t be gay little buddy. Ur literally enough it’s all just a matter of rizz now, you see how clav with 0 rizz can’t pick up literal whores only the fame got him that. So all the things u know about looking better apply it to rizz, a good place to start is Mystery method book. Game changer for real

I don't care for hookup culture at all

 

[atomstetic]

sorry to hear that man. I guess you could try to find other ND/socially outcast people or otherwise chill people. I kind of gravitated to those kind of people in the last few years of HS, which made it bearable.

I have some of those friends but it's still socially draining as in school so much more people are around.

 

[badacne]

I don't know. I've thought this through a lot, but I think I need to give it more thought.

What's sad is this is the only girl that I've ever actually felt "love" or infatuated towards. What if she genuinely doesn't give a shit about me?

What if a relationship is impossible for me because of the way my brain is

Wishing the best for you bro. Goodluck!

 

[Jason5000]

I have some of those friends but it's still socially draining as in school so much more people are around.

hope things get better for you brah.

 

[savage21]

I've made threads on this topic before. I'll link the most recent one:

https://looksmax.org/threads/i-feel-so-infatuated-with-this-girl-update.2349328/

---

If you're going to troll, say "DNR" or anything alike, I beg you to skip this thread.

---

Today was the first day of school. I hated it. I can't believe I will have to do this for another two years.

To start, I do very well in school without studying. I've never struggled to understand anything, and I pass every class while doing pretty much no work the whole year.

The issue is that I don't like to do any work in relation to subjects I'm not interested in. This means I do very well in a select few classes and barely pass the rest.

Today, I was forced to socialise the entire day. The girl from my older thread also goes to my school. She is a senior. I believe she was looking at me a few times, but I'm not the best at catching social cues, although I try. I didn't speak to her at all today. I'm pretty sure I was supposed to, but oh well.

One problem I have is: how would I even start a conversation? Would I just say hello? That seems extremely awkward, especially if she's with her friends. Even if I did start with hello, what would we talk about after? I'm used to planning out my conversations by playing out many scenarios in my head beforehand, but I can't think of a good conversation to have with her.

I obviously have some hyper-fixations — one of them being my looks, which I certainly can't talk about. I want to seem neurotypical around her, but every day that I have to mask myself becomes more and more tiring (which is likely why I cried when I came home from school today. I'm not really sure why I cried, but I did).

I genuinely want to tell her how I'm ND and how I struggle to understand social cues, social conventions, how I pre-plan almost everything, how I'd rather sit in my room all day and watch YouTube, and how school is so draining for me. I'd also like to apologise for not going up to talk to her today if she prompted it somehow. The problem is that if I misread the situation again and she was just looking at me because I'm a person she's familiar with, then I would seem like a weirdo for saying all of this.

I am just so tired. I think about how I'm walking, sitting, how my resting face looks, if I'm squinting, if I'm currently revealing my hideous negative hooding, if my posture is okay, if my smile looks weird, if I'm doing something that could be making any of my flaws more visible, and more. There's just so much always going through my mind. I hate it so much. I overthink everything. I overanalyse everything. Socialising is more mentally draining and challenging than a chess game, even though I mask my neurodivergence quite well.

There's more that was on my mind, but I'm just so fucking tired. I wish my brain was different. Overall, I wish I was different.

Please give me advice.

From tomorrow on, I might just sleep in every class as I sometimes used to.

All I got from this is that a girl is interested in you and you have no reason to cry at all about anything. Especially since you are probably decent looking

 

[atomstetic]

hope things get better for you brah.

Thank you. As I've said, I will just resort to pharmacology. I see Sub 5s getting into lifelong relationships. These are simply consequences of my unique or rather, abnormal neurochemistry rather than my looks.

I'm not the best looking but I'm certainly above average in many attributes, a hyperfixation on looks could just be me coping and trying to pave away my neurodivergence with looking better.

 

[atomstetic]

All I got from this is that a girl is interested in you and you have no reason to cry at all about anything. Especially since you are probably decent looking

It's okay, not everyone needs to understand.

 

[zombi3]

I've made threads on this topic before. I'll link the most recent one:

https://looksmax.org/threads/i-feel-so-infatuated-with-this-girl-update.2349328/

---

If you're going to troll, say "DNR" or anything alike, I beg you to skip this thread.

---

Today was the first day of school. I hated it. I can't believe I will have to do this for another two years.

To start, I do very well in school without studying. I've never struggled to understand anything, and I pass every class while doing pretty much no work the whole year.

The issue is that I don't like to do any work in relation to subjects I'm not interested in. This means I do very well in a select few classes and barely pass the rest.

Today, I was forced to socialise the entire day. The girl from my older thread also goes to my school. She is a senior. I believe she was looking at me a few times, but I'm not the best at catching social cues, although I try. I didn't speak to her at all today. I'm pretty sure I was supposed to, but oh well.

One problem I have is: how would I even start a conversation? Would I just say hello? That seems extremely awkward, especially if she's with her friends. Even if I did start with hello, what would we talk about after? I'm used to planning out my conversations by playing out many scenarios in my head beforehand, but I can't think of a good conversation to have with her.

I obviously have some hyper-fixations — one of them being my looks, which I certainly can't talk about. I want to seem neurotypical around her, but every day that I have to mask myself becomes more and more tiring (which is likely why I cried when I came home from school today. I'm not really sure why I cried, but I did).

I genuinely want to tell her how I'm ND and how I struggle to understand social cues, social conventions, how I pre-plan almost everything, how I'd rather sit in my room all day and watch YouTube, and how school is so draining for me. I'd also like to apologise for not going up to talk to her today if she prompted it somehow. The problem is that if I misread the situation again and she was just looking at me because I'm a person she's familiar with, then I would seem like a weirdo for saying all of this.

I am just so tired. I think about how I'm walking, sitting, how my resting face looks, if I'm squinting, if I'm currently revealing my hideous negative hooding, if my posture is okay, if my smile looks weird, if I'm doing something that could be making any of my flaws more visible, and more. There's just so much always going through my mind. I hate it so much. I overthink everything. I overanalyse everything. Socialising is more mentally draining and challenging than a chess game, even though I mask my neurodivergence quite well.

There's more that was on my mind, but I'm just so fucking tired. I wish my brain was different. Overall, I wish I was different.

Please give me advice.

From tomorrow on, I might just sleep in every class as I sometimes used to.

Brother, this thread genuinely almost made me emotional. Im so sorry you are going through all of this, im so fucking sorry bro. I have no idea what advice would help you and that eats me alive. Bro you are so much stronger then me.

Don't even approach any of the girls bro protect your peace and dont risk any more social traumas. I genuinely hope things get better from the bottom of my heart

 

[savage21]

It's okay, not everyone needs to understand.

I understand perfectly fine. You are a good looking person who is creating problems for himself. Passing every class, getting IOIs from women, but hindering yourself by trying to be someone you are not.