3rd date, invited her over to my place, made out but she would turn away after 30 seconds, didn’t fuck, self sabotaged at end. What do?

[SoberAndRetarded]

Title says it all. I fucked it up I’m such a loser

 

[Pixie Dust]

Keep trying and dont call yourself a loser, some dudes are too afraid to talk to women or make approaches, you're making progress

 

[SoberAndRetarded]

Keep trying and dont call yourself a loser, some dudes are too afraid to talk to women or make approaches, you're making progress

I’m 30 bro it’s over

 

[Pixie Dust]

I’m 30 bro it’s over

So what? This means you definitely need to keep trying, you dont have time to mess around

Just try to learn from what you did today and do more next time. Youre feeling down right now and your depressed mood is distorting your sense of reality for the worse. When you feel ok again, try to think about what happened on the date and learn from it

 

[SoberAndRetarded]

So what? This means you definitely need to keep trying, you dont have time to mess around

Just try to learn from what you did today and do more next time. Youre feeling down right now and your depressed mood is distorting your sense of reality for the worse. When you feel ok again, try to think about what happened on the date and learn from it

You’re kind, thanks…

 

[SoberAndRetarded]

So what? This means you definitely need to keep trying, you dont have time to mess around

Just try to learn from what you did today and do more next time. Youre feeling down right now and your depressed mood is distorting your sense of reality for the worse. When you feel ok again, try to think about what happened on the date and learn from it

I really want to ask her something to get a gauge on what the fuck she’s thinking.. after she said “it’s getting kind of late” (was 9:30) I told her I liked her but then said “but I get it..” and she was like “get what? Come on tell me” obviously I was referring to “but I get it that you’ll probably never want to see me again” but I just meandered and said never full out said that. I walked her to her car and said text me when you get home and she sent “I got home. Thanks again for a fun night!” I said “no problem thanks for coming out tonight” I should add we went to bowling before inviting her over.

I did something that made her not want to fuck me but I don’t know what. I did something wrong because she came over, I was probably mad awkward on the date which I wasn’t at all on our first two. I fucking hate this shit so much.

Any ideas on what I should do? I really like this chick.

 

[Pixie Dust]

I really want to ask her something to get a gauge on what the fuck she’s thinking.. after she said “it’s getting kind of late” (was 9:30) I told her I liked her but then said “but I get it..” and she was like “get what? Come on tell me” obviously I was referring to “but I get it that you’ll probably never want to see me again” but I just meandered and said never full out said that. I walked her to her car and said text me when you get home and she sent “I got home. Thanks again for a fun night!” I said “no problem thanks for coming out tonight” I should add we went to bowling before inviting her over.

I did something that made her not want to fuck me but I don’t know what. I did something wrong because she came over, I was probably mad awkward on the date which I wasn’t at all on our first two. I fucking hate this shit so much.

Any ideas on what I should do? I really like this chick.

Yeah you shouldn't have said that. It comes from low self-confidence.

The girl is in your place and making out wit you. She doesnt hate you, what are you talking about. Be assertive, dont handicap yourself by assuming the worst and acting like its 100% whats happening.

When she said its getting late, its not necessarily game over. It could just be her needing reassurance, maybe she wanted you to advance the conversation towards her sleeping over(?). You should've asked a plain clarifying question instead of assuming the absolute worst. Then you'd know for sure.

If you want to be less awkward, just chill. Women are well-intentioned people, they're generally not mean. You can goof around, speak your mind, show a colorful character, make a joke, make her laugh. Make her feel at ease, be in tune with her emotions.

Try to ask her out on another date if thats possible (i dont know the exact circumstances between you). She seems to like you, but that night was a mishap. Show her you can do better, you can learn from making mistakes towards her, and that you value her enough to TRY. And if not with her, with another date.

 

[SoberAndRetarded]

Yeah you shouldn't have said that. It comes from low self-confidence.

The girl is in your place and making out wit you. She doesnt hate you, what are you talking about. Be assertive, dont handicap yourself by assuming the worst and acting like its 100% whats happening.

When she said its getting late, its not necessarily game over. It could just be her needing reassurance, maybe she wanted you to advance the conversation towards her sleeping over(?). You should've asked a plain clarifying question instead of assuming the absolute worst. Then you'd know for sure.

If you want to be less awkward, just chill. Women are well-intentioned people, they're generally not mean. You can goof around, speak your mind, show a colorful character, make a joke, make her laugh. Make her feel at ease, be in tune with her emotions.

Try to ask her out on another date if thats possible (i dont know the exact circumstances between you). She seems to like you, but that night was a mishap. Show her you can do better, you can learn from making mistakes towards her, and that you value her enough to TRY. And if not with her, with another date.

Should I ask her tonight over text or tomorrow?

 

[Pixie Dust]

Should I ask her tonight over text or tomorrow?

Im not sure what your timeline looks like, both would be fine i assume. You decide

 

[SoberAndRetarded]

Im not sure what your timeline looks like, both would be fine i assume. You decide

Asked her out she said she’s free Tuesday, still feel like I fucked it up. I’m neurotic af, right now I’m trying to get in the same head space I was in for our first two dates of “I’m out of HER league” but it’s tough

 

[Gonthar]

Maybe she's one of those girls who likes a man who takes initiative, you should have adjusted your game, start to play a little rough with her, pin her down or lightly choke her and be like "You like it rough, don't you....?" - see how she reacts....

 

[IntelligentCel]

Title says it all. I fucked it up I’m such a loser

What happened to make her go away?

 

[innervoid765]

keep grinding never get up

gods got a plan for you

 

[SoberAndRetarded]

What happened to make her go away?

Idk man first of all we went bowling first and I was just being too fuckin gay saying shit like “awh you got robbed, nice try..” and just generally being a quiet dork which I wasn’t on our first two dates. Then I suggested we go back to my place to have some drinks since it was only 7:30. It felt like I pressured her into coming over and she was too nice to say no (this feeling completely took away my confidence once she came over). We had some wine (she only had like half a glass) and put on a movie, made out a little and spooned but whenever I’d go to kiss her we’d kiss for 20-30 seconds and then she’d turn back to watch the movie. Movie ended and she said “oh it’s getting late” and then I shame spiraled and said shit like “sorry if I bored you tonight.. etc” because I WAS being boring and I fucking knew it as it was happening. All I needed to do was not give a fuck and just be normal for a night

 

[SoberAndRetarded]

Maybe she's one of those girls who likes a man who takes initiative, you should have adjusted your game, start to play a little rough with her, pin her down or lightly choke her and be like "You like it rough, don't you....?" - see how she reacts....

I do not get this vibe from her even a little. She seems like a well adjusted person. If we ever have sex I’m sure I’ll test the roughness boundaries but I haven’t fucked since high school (10 years ago) so I’ll probably just be clueless

 

[Latinolooksmaxxer]

Idk man first of all we went bowling first and I was just being too fuckin gay saying shit like “awh you got robbed, nice try..” and just generally being a quiet dork which I wasn’t on our first two dates. Then I suggested we go back to my place to have some drinks since it was only 7:30. It felt like I pressured her into coming over and she was too nice to say no (this feeling completely took away my confidence once she came over). We had some wine (she only had like half a glass) and put on a movie, made out a little and spooned but whenever I’d go to kiss her we’d kiss for 20-30 seconds and then she’d turn back to watch the movie. Movie ended and she said “oh it’s getting late” and then I shame spiraled and said shit like “sorry if I bored you tonight.. etc” because I WAS being boring and I fucking knew it as it was happening. All I needed to do was not give a fuck and just be normal for a night

at first I thought you went mad at her in the end or some shit

well this wasnt too bad then

normal day in the life of Normie

 

[SoberAndRetarded]

at first I thought you went mad at her in the end or some shit

well this wasnt too bad then

normal day in the life of Normie

Im not sure what your timeline looks like, both would be fine i assume. You decide

Update: we went on a 4th date Tuesday to get dinner and walked around again and had a great time (she told me this after I kissed her goodbye). No sex. Invited her over for dinner last night (Thursday) I was expecting at least some form of sex but instead there was a little awkward silence while eating and then we went to the couch and put on a movie. I was making more moves than before and we made out a lot and I was feeling her up (hands down pants on her ass, under her shirt on her tits) but then as the movie finished she said she “has to go pack” because she’s going to Germany for 10 days for work. Anyways I was being kind of lame, I asked her why she didn’t want to stay over and she said she “doesn’t like to be out late the night before she goes on a work trip” so I said “alright then go..” I walked her to her car and didnt even feel like hugging or kissing her goodbye.

I texted her later “why did you bail so early, seriously?” She said “like I told you I don’t like to be out late before I go on a trip and I need to pack”

I texted her 5 hours ago “well have a good trip” she hasn’t replied. *she replied 6 hours later only saying “Thanks!”

Also she didn’t leave for trip until like 10:45 this morning. Packing excuse was bs

No sex after 5 dates means she doesn’t find me attractive right?

 

[Latinolooksmaxxer]

Update: we went on a 4th date Tuesday to get dinner and walked around again and had a great time (she told me this after I kissed her goodbye). No sex. Invited her over for dinner last night (Thursday) I was expecting at least some form of sex but instead there was a little awkward silence while eating and then we went to the couch and put on a movie. I was making more moves than before and we made out a lot and I was feeling her up (hands down pants on her ass, under her shirt on her tits) but then as the movie finished she said she “has to go pack” because she’s going to Germany for 10 days for work. Anyways I was being kind of lame, I asked her why she didn’t want to stay over and she said she “doesn’t like to be out late the night before she goes on a work trip” so I said “alright then go..” I walked her to her car and didnt even feel like hugging or kissing her goodbye.

I texted her later “why did you bail so early, seriously?” She said “like I told you I don’t like to be out late before I go on a trip and I need to pack”

I texted her 5 hours ago “well have a good trip” she hasn’t replied. *she replied 6 hours later only saying “Thanks!”

Also she didn’t leave for trip until like 10:45 this morning. Packing excuse was bs

No sex after 5 dates means she doesn’t find me attractive right?

is she poor

 

[SoberAndRetarded]

is she poor

No she has a good job. I’m the one on student loans for medical school. I’ve wasted so much fucking money on this whore. But she’s offered to pay or split everytime but I refuse to let a woman buy me food

 

[maxeverything]

Update: we went on a 4th date Tuesday to get dinner and walked around again and had a great time (she told me this after I kissed her goodbye). No sex. Invited her over for dinner last night (Thursday) I was expecting at least some form of sex but instead there was a little awkward silence while eating and then we went to the couch and put on a movie. I was making more moves than before and we made out a lot and I was feeling her up (hands down pants on her ass, under her shirt on her tits) but then as the movie finished she said she “has to go pack” because she’s going to Germany for 10 days for work. Anyways I was being kind of lame, I asked her why she didn’t want to stay over and she said she “doesn’t like to be out late the night before she goes on a work trip” so I said “alright then go..” I walked her to her car and didnt even feel like hugging or kissing her goodbye.

I texted her later “why did you bail so early, seriously?” She said “like I told you I don’t like to be out late before I go on a trip and I need to pack”

I texted her 5 hours ago “well have a good trip” she hasn’t replied. *she replied 6 hours later only saying “Thanks!”

Also she didn’t leave for trip until like 10:45 this morning. Packing excuse was bs

No sex after 5 dates means she doesn’t find me attractive right?

Ya she might not want to fuck you. Like other users have said though you are close. Don’t send her any emotional messages or anything, when she gets back maybe reach out but I would kind of put it on the back burner.

 

[SoberAndRetarded]

Ya she might not want to fuck you. Like other users have said though you are close. Don’t send her any emotional messages or anything, when she gets back maybe reach out but I would kind of put it on the back burner.

I’ve had girls in the past who were basically femcels not have sex with me because they didn’t want me to hit it and leave. I can’t tell if she’s using sex to manipulate me into a relationship or if she just isn’t interested. She’s come over to my place twice and spooned and made out

 

[maxeverything]

I’ve had girls in the past who were basically femcels not have sex with me because they didn’t want me to hit it and leave. I can’t tell if she’s using sex to manipulate me into a relationship or if she just isn’t interested. She’s come over to my place twice and spooned and made out

She likely sees (or saw) you as a potential relationship. She’s down to fool around but won’t let you fuck until A. She’s sure she likes you and B. You’ve shown that your serious about her. Based on your behavior/descriptions of what’s happened I think she might be losing interest all together. I wouldn’t say you fucked it up, it sounds like you would have had to show commitment in order to fuck her. A lot of women will only have casual sex with guys they’re extremely attracted to. They might give an average looking guy a chance in a relationship and even be faithful and love him. But their standards are higher for hook ups because they risk slut shaming etc