[a huge retard trauma dump] romance moments in my isekai anime slop is genuine suicidefuel

[coastal]

mushoku tensei s2 ep 12

moments like this make me want to burn myself alive. seriously i want to die because of this shit

you know while it's just usual fantasy adventures i can insert myself into the main character and larp like im him doing all the cool things in life, traveling with my friends, killing monsters and getting admiration for my strength

but then the romance part happens and it hits me even if a girl loves me, im not sure if i can ever love myself. i wont be happy even if i get in a relationship.i dont know whateven could make me happy at this point

im not ugly especially for my country, actually im very much above average and my front profile is at least top 5% (now i mog every single person in the class i graduated from). but i'll still spend hours analyzing myself picking out every single thing i hate, and i cant help myself.

the bp hit me over 2 years ago around late 2023-early 2024 (when all the mewing memes were going around), and i slowly started getting deeper into this fucking shithole of an ideology.

i never made any forum accounts and i never got super deep because i tried to cope with my looks (which were sub5-low ltn max at the time) and didnt want to believe in something which would ruin my narcissistic red pill *jfl at my alpha male past* beliefs about myself

but then first guys like baby stickley and oscer patel came to be and made the idea of looksmaxxing appear to be simple and easy, "just posture and +3 inches, just mew and forward growth 2cm" shit. after that i started doing more copes they recommended like a retard i was, and at the same time i was lurking on all the looksmax forums including org to find better info

and look at me now, a pretty attractive guy with facial dysmorphia and raging insecurity, rotting in offtopic like a fucking nigger complaining about having 1% of problems some users here have

im actually living up to my edgy jester avi

i imagine how fucking much the actually genetically cursed sub5 users will laugh at me.

I DONT EVEN HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT TO SAY THIS JFL AT ME AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA FUCK ME AND FUCK MY LIFE AHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAA AHAHAHHAHAHHAH LOOK AT ME AND LOOK AT MY RETARDED THREAD I MADE BECAUSE A CARTOON MADE ME SUICIDAL DNR

and i still cant help myself.

im such a joke.

 

[coastal]

i will now start watching s2 p2 and then cry myself to sleep because of how retarded i am. i dont even give a fuck if any of you read this or rep me. i dont want your attention. i hate all of this