Anyone else only get turned on by SA situations?

[Deleted member 11126]

Abuse is the only way I can get hard. I struggled to get hard with girls I actually loved but only ones I wanted to hurt. Not sure if porn caused this or what but whenever I go 3 days without jerking off the imagery in my head and urges become unbearable I know I can't hurt these people the consequences are not worth it but its like I'm an animal starving to death. All I want is for others to understand my pain

 

[Deleted member 11126]

I wish I could just be normal instead I am this way. My brain wiring is fucked why can't I just be sexually attracted to girls I love... instead I only am sexual with people I want to hurt.