Blackpill/redpill are the truth but ruined my life. Does anyone else feel the same way? My story

[whiteissuperior]

How old are you? I think one of op's many problems is that he is far too old. He will never have the success of the early to mid twenties chad. His slaying will consist of used up roasties who only give him starfish sex after making him jump through several hoops (unless she's a landwhale, in that case she may sexually deliver)

I'm about to turn 21, I will be 22 when I fully recover from my bimax. I'm already feeling the clock ticking, and this post is another reminder of how important this time will be.

I feel the exact same way

I’m 24, and will likely be 27 when I recover from bimax

But tbh if you have your own place, money, and looks, slayinh 20-22 year olds is pretty easy. A couple guys in my discord server who had late glow ups are doing this at around 30.

But it’s also not like I’ve had no success, just very little


Male SMV peak is 26-33 tbh

You’re not missing out on much

 

[KpopmaxxingGuy]

I feel the exact same way

I’m 24, and will likely be 27 when I recover from bimax

But tbh if you have your own place, money, and looks, slayinh 20-22 year olds is pretty easy. A couple guys in my discord server who had late glow ups are doing this at around 30.

But it’s also not like I’ve had no success, just very little


Male SMV peak is 26-33 tbh

You’re not missing out on much

Are you sure about that? It kind of feels like cope, that males peak at 26-33. I want to have my mogger days before then, I feel like that's the age when you start dating for marriage.

 

[whiteissuperior]

Are you sure about that? It kind of feels like cope, that males peak at 26-33. I want to have my mogger days before then, I feel like that's the age when you start dating for marriage.

Yes but tbh slaying is myth and 95% of men 18-23 are not slaying

Women tend to prefer to date men 2-4 years older than them, so by the time you turn 24 or 25, you start to see your options expand a lot more.

Also, having your own place, being able to put on the tv and pour her some whine, not having roommates, will actually do wonders for your closing rate


@fogdart is still slaying 21-23 year olds in his 30s

Yes it would be better if we were mulatto chadrones at 21 but tbh we can’t all win

You ascend by 23 will give you more than enough time

But I doubt bimax alone ascended you more than a point

 

[KpopmaxxingGuy]

Yes but tbh slaying is myth and 95% of men 18-23 are not slaying

Women tend to prefer to date men 2-4 years older than them, so by the time you turn 24 or 25, you start to see your options expand a lot more.

Also, having your own place, being able to put on the tv and pour her some whine, not having roommates, will actually do wonders for your closing rate


@fogdart is still slaying 21-23 year olds in his 30s

Yes it would be better if we were mulatto chadrones at 21 but tbh we can’t all win

You ascend by 23 will give you more than enough time

But I doubt bimax alone ascended you more than a point

I'm suffering from a pretty deformed jaw though. Enough to the point where my orthodontist would refuse to treat me unless I got the surgery, because the decompensation from the braces would make things worse.

 

[ShowerMaxxing]

I went through the same dillema with my ex, I was always looking for someone hotter deluded thinking I could do better. Problem was i just lacked physical attraction. Sure my dick would get hard, but I’d be embarrassed to be seen with her in public, to friends and family etc. She obviously picked up on this, her masc personality def didn’t help tho

 

[whiteissuperior]

I'm suffering from a pretty deformed jaw though. Enough to the point where my orthodontist would refuse to treat me unless I got the surgery, because the decompensation from the braces would make things worse.

Same mines definitely worse than yours tho

 

[KpopmaxxingGuy]

I went through the same dillema with my ex, I was always looking for someone hotter deluded thinking I could do better. Problem was i just lacked physical attraction. Sure my dick would get hard, but I’d be embarrassed to be seen with her in public, to friends and family etc. She obviously picked up on this, her masc personality def didn’t help tho

If I was able to get with a cute girl, I wouldn't look for better. I'm not going to keep looking for actresses. But the fact that op here couldn't get someone that qualified as cute, despite the looksmaxxing he has done (taking him for his word, I genuinely hope he actually isn't looksmaxxed) is just suifuel.

Imagine that, not feeling comfortable showing off your gf to your friends and family because you know she's not pretty. And the fact that your gf probably feels the same way. That's just awful stuff right there. I'm beginning to realize what I can aim for in terms of looks, and let me tell you, it's not pretty. All of the genuinely cute girls have given me nothing, while it feels like I'm showered with IOIs from subhumans-LTBs.

Tbh you should've just gone for a FWB with that girl. Unless of course you couldn't get sex without LARPing an LTR. In that case you're just as good as op.

 

[ShowerMaxxing]

If I was able to get with a cute girl, I wouldn't look for better. I'm not going to keep looking for actresses. But the fact that op here couldn't get someone that qualified as cute, despite the looksmaxxing he has done (taking him for his word, I genuinely hope he actually isn't looksmaxxed) is just suifuel.

Imagine that, not feeling comfortable showing off your gf to your friends and family because you know she's not pretty. And the fact that your gf probably feels the same way. That's just awful stuff right there. I'm beginning to realize what I can aim for in terms of looks, and let me tell you, it's not pretty. All of the genuinely cute girls have given me nothing, while it feels like I'm showered with IOIs from subhumans-LTBs.

Tbh you should've just gone for a FWB with that girl. Unless of course you couldn't get sex without LARPing an LTR. In that case you're just as good as op.

She wouldn’t have wanted just fwb, maybe if it had broke off clean. Goatis is right if ur unattractive you’ll only ever date unattractive people. Both in looks and personality

 

[KpopmaxxingGuy]

She wouldn’t have wanted just fwb maybe if it had broke off clean. Goatis is right if ur unattractive you’ll only ever date unattractive people. Both in looks and personality

I mean at the beginning of the relationship. If you're good looking enough you should be able to demand this of her.

 

[KpopmaxxingGuy]

This is extremely relatable. How old are you, and are you going to try and surgery your way out of it?

The element of being able to predict the outcome of any date within 10 seconds is a brutal but true black pill and I’ve noticed this myself.

This is extremely underrated and not talked about at all. It only takes a few seconds to know how the game will play out. If she's actually cute, no dice. If she's one of those pump and dumps or downright subhuman, you can bet your ass I'm getting that IOI/encounter.

And people say a looks hierarchy doesn't exist. Those people are probably laughing at us, who found themselves on the bottom of the totem pole, while peddling bullshit bluepill nonsense and dating their over 6 foot chads. Our problem is that we don't like where we are on the totem pole. The bluepill dictates that there is no totem pole (science has disproven this claim time and time again) while the redpill dictates it's possible to move up and down that totem pole. The blackpill dictates that there is little to no movement possible, no matter how much we try (because women select for factors that are entirely uncontrollable, such as height and face) But normies will take the bonesmashing meme and conflate it to our entire ideology.

 

[ShowerMaxxing]

I mean at the beginning of the relationship. If you're good looking enough you should be able to demand this of her.

I hate being unattractive, makes life so much harder. From making friends, to finding a partner and just general treatment

 

[KpopmaxxingGuy]

I hate being unattractive, makes life so much harder. From making friends, to finding a partner and just general treatment

Relatable. My problem was having a guy who knows who partakes in giant feasts of social acceptance and romantic interest based purely on his birthright.

 

[ShowerMaxxing]

Relatable. My problem was having a guy who knows who partakes in giant feasts of social acceptance and romantic interest based purely on his birthright.

Knowing and hearing about attractive mens experiences is brutal

 

[EggKing]

Was bullied in middle school and high school, couldn't get a girlfriend or even a kiss... At the same time I saw my bullies or just "hot" guys effortlessly getting with my crushes. Even when I did manage to get some attention it always felt like the girls were below my standards and they didn't look at me the same way they did with others.

I couldn't explain at that time. I randomly started going to the gym, improved my looks a bit, and managed to get a gf or two in my uni years... Again, they were probably sub-5 or LTNs but because I was ignorant I felt happy and in love. However, they always lost attraction after a bit, refused sex, or just became distant. Couldn't explain why.

Then I stumbled onto the redpill. It was a major shock, but it did make sense. It challenged many of my world views and I sort of decided to believe in it and test it out. I used to be thoughtful and morally righteous, but I literally forced myself to become what at the time I considered a "monster" or "manipulator". I started seeing more results, but very inconsistenly. Again, success rate with sub-5 or LTNs was OKish, but any woman I considered "hot" or even "cute" felt impossible to get. In the rare occasions I managed to get lucky with a higher value woman, it never lasted at all.

That's when I discovered the blackpill. I read about the science, I saw the "scientific blackpill" page, and consumed many hours of videos and articles. It explained everything that felt inconsistent/wrong with the redpill. It was also extremely disheartening and it made me even more bitter, misogynistic, and upset with life. But I could finally explain why retarded and rude jocks in middle school / high school were considered attractive, or why I couldn't keep a cute girl around me for a long time.

I did what I could to improve my looks as much as possible. I also felt like this was the turning point where I truly lost my own personality. My personality was now completely dependent on who I was talking to, and on what my goals really were. I lost all my natural empathy and became this sort of morphing individual that tries to act in the way that is more likely to get results.

It worked decently for casual sex (again, no hot girls...), but this completely broke down in LTRs. I've had two multi-year LTRs with girls I considered "cute" (but were still max 5.5/10 or 6/10) where I did fall in love, and I completely ruined both of them because of my own insecurities and my understanding of my own value. After a year, the girls started noticing patterns, started realizing that I've always been a facade. They started realizing that I lacked empathy, and that their initial impression of me was wrong.

My latest LTR left me in tears because of how many times I hurt her by not realizing her needs and wants, and just trying to optimize everything to be as valuable as possible. Ironic -- what drawn her to me in the first place eventually became what drove her away from me. I was so focused on "not appearing weak", "acting high value", "maximizing my own looks" that I forgot how to be an actual human being. When she actually broke up with me, the realization of that and the feeling of grief was so strong that I literally spent weeks in physical pain. I still think about her pretty much every day and a surge of pain fills my body when I do.

After her, I dated girls more casually. But no girl wanted to be FWB or casual with me, they all wanted a relationship or at least to think we were moving towards a relationship. Instead of being honest and open with them, I misled them into thinking I wanted a relationship. We spent weeks or even months doing couple-y things, so that I could have their companionship and sex. And every single time, I didn't feel like actually entering a relationship with these girls, because I felt like I was dating below my standards.

I felt like I had no choice. I either date below my standards and pretend to be into these girls to get sex and affection, or be alone. I went on so many dates where the outcome was obvious from the first 10 seconds:
- if she was fat/ugly, she would sleep with me on the first date with no resistance and I would ghost her afterwards;
- if she was LTN, anything could happen, but let's say 50% would be totally uninterested, 30% would kiss me then ghost, 20% would sleep with me on 1st or 2nd date;
- if she was above LTN, there was nothing I could do. I almost even never got a kiss. Some girls even refused to sit next to me, or recoiled when I tried touching them. At least two girls lied to my face saying "sorry, I thought Tinder was for friendships!" as if I were a total retard.

I dated a 5/10 girl that was extremely sweet, caring, and nice for about 3-4 months. She was really into me, treated me with respect and affection, and couldn't get enough of my dick. Honestly speaking, I truly enjoyed her company, even outside the bedroom. But I always had this constant thought in my mind that "I was settling" and that "I could do better". If I thought about being with only her the rest of my life, I felt like I was missing out. I also felt like that every day I was not actively using dating apps or going outside to meet girls, I could have been missing out on a girl that I found more attractive.

We never explicitly agreed to exclusivity or to being in a relationship, but it was clear that this girl expected exclusivity and wanted something serious for me. Despite that, I kept seeing and talking to girls behind her back. One night we would fuck and cuddle each other to sleep, and the next morning I would meet some other chick for a coffee. I knew the risks of getting caught, and I felt extremely guilty, but I literally forced myself to go through my guilt because I wanted to maximize my chances at meeting a hotter girl that made me feel as respected and as valued as the one I was dating.

Of course, two days ago, she caught me outside with another girl. She didn't even make a scene, she just looked emotionally destroyed and walked away. I continued my date with the other girl, but in the end she was uninterested as she was actually cute.

After that I went to see the girl I was dating for a few months. She was in tears and looked visibly really hurt. She told me that I was a piece of shit and that she wanted me out of my life. I didn't break down or anything, but I told her that despite what she might think now I truly enjoyed her company and the time spent together and that she knew that. I told her that I should have been honest with her and that I didn't because I was selfish and scared. She told me to get the fuck away from her, and I left her alone in tears. She blocked me on all social media.

I felt like complete shit after that. I've become someone that I am not proud of and that doesn't really deserve to be loved or to be happy. And yet I feel that I cannot change that anymore. I feel like that I've become this way because I've discovered the real truth of the world, and that if I want to maximize my own success and my own chances at sexual strategy, the other party needs to be hurt or manipulated. I either have to sacrifice my morals/ethics or my results.

And you know what? If I just was sligthly hotter, slightly taller, I wouldn't need to do any of this shit. Girls I find cute/attractive would not run away from me. I would be able to be more self-confident and content with who I am and with the girls I can get. I feel like I was forced to become a monster because of the way I am and look, and because of all the pain I've received and caused in the past. Or maybe I'm just trying to rationalize being a shitty person.

The girl I was dating knew all of my friends, and I knew some of hers. While technically I never did lie to her, I did lie by omission and purposefully misled her. When the word gets out, my social circle will lose respect for me. If her friends see me outside, they'll likely want to fuck me up.

But I don't really care about that. I'm mostly sad because I know I hurt a girl that didn't deserve it at all. She was probably the sweetest and most decent human being I've met. She trusted me, opened herself up to me, and I emotionally destroyed her. She probably needs to go to therapy now and will not trust men ever again.

What was her fault? Just not being "hot enough". Not having a very cute face, not having enough curves for me to feel like I was dating someone that met my standards.

I've become the same kind of person that destroyed me in my earlier years. I can't help but feel that the knowledge I've gained is truthful and useful, but also made me even more unhappy than I was before.

tl;dr: I'm a shit human being.

Sexhaver ramblings
Dnrd

 

[BWC_virgin]

How does one become whitepilled when the blackpill has been proven time and time again through empirical evidence

Whitepill =/= bluepill, I’m talking about understanding the blackpill but also being optimistic and enjoying life wherever it takes you instead of bieng like: “I am only 6’3 and have a inferior ES ratio, it’s over and my Stacy onitis will never like me, I will die alone an abused dog and never have teen love only dry roastie Pussy, my life is not a perfect holywood chad 90s high school movie so it’s over, after the age of 23 my collagen is gone and life is over”

Whitepill is just the idea that you should accept the things you can’t change and try to make the best of life, work to be happy instead of chasing the psl ideal of the 6’8 chad prettyboy slayer of JBs. U still looksmax, geomax, ets but it’s a different mindset

 

[fogdart]

Are you sure about that? It kind of feels like cope, that males peak at 26-33. I want to have my mogger days before then, I feel like that's the age when you start dating for marriage.

Yes but tbh slaying is myth and 95% of men 18-23 are not slaying

Women tend to prefer to date men 2-4 years older than them, so by the time you turn 24 or 25, you start to see your options expand a lot more.

Also, having your own place, being able to put on the tv and pour her some whine, not having roommates, will actually do wonders for your closing rate


@fogdart is still slaying 21-23 year olds in his 30s

Yes it would be better if we were mulatto chadrones at 21 but tbh we can’t all win

You ascend by 23 will give you more than enough time

But I doubt bimax alone ascended you more than a point

If you still look as a man, there's no peak per se - all you have to do is knock some years off your actual age if you wonna date younger women and have fun. There's an experiment that shows that old chads are much closer to young chads in smv than they are to young normies. Old chad probably has the smv of a young chadlite. Also you may need some viagra/cialis to compete for with young chads lol

 

[Clown Show]

managed to get a gf or two

Stopped reading right there

 

[maxeverything]

Relax. You’re doing better than most on this forum. Keep looksmaxxing, and stop putting so much thought into where you/your partners fit in on the attractiveness scale. If you want casual sex from a woman, go for it. If you feel like it’s too much for you to play a woman into giving you casual sex then just don’t do it. If you meet a chick that you feel is ltr worthy then you have your past experiences to look back on and learn from in terms of how much you should open up and be empathetic with them. But your experiences of having an easier time with lower value women is the experience of every man, it’s not some torturous thing that only you’re going through.

 

[KpopmaxxingGuy]

Relax. You’re doing better than most on this forum. Keep looksmaxxing, and stop putting so much thought into where you/your partners fit in on the attractiveness scale. If you want casual sex from a woman, go for it. If you feel like it’s too much for you to play a woman into giving you casual sex then just don’t do it. If you meet a chick that you feel is ltr worthy then you have your past experiences to look back on and learn from in terms of how much you should open up and be empathetic with them. But your experiences of having an easier time with lower value women is the experience of every man, it’s not some torturous thing that only you’re going through.

But imagine that, that's how women see us, as lower value men that are just to be used and thrown away. Can we increase our value? That's the debate. But research has shown us that it is not possible. You can only increase the number of people who want to use you.

 

[maxeverything]

But imagine that, that's how women see us, as lower value men that are just to be used and thrown away. Can we increase our value? That's the debate. But research has shown us that it is not possible. You can only increase the number of people who want to use you.

Who cares? The only woman whose opinion you should care about is a chick you’re in an ltr with, and even then it’s debatable. Do what you can to get pussy, but don’t let it effect your overall view of yourself. Just keep maxxing everyday.

 

[KpopmaxxingGuy]

Whitepill =/= bluepill, I’m talking about understanding the blackpill but also being optimistic and enjoying life wherever it takes you instead of bieng like: “I am only 6’3 and have a inferior ES ratio, it’s over and my Stacy onitis will never like me, I will die alone an abused dog and never have teen love only dry roastie Pussy, my life is not a perfect holywood chad 90s high school movie so it’s over, after the age of 23 my collagen is gone and life is over”

Whitepill is just the idea that you should accept the things you can’t change and try to make the best of life, work to be happy instead of chasing the psl ideal of the 6’8 chad prettyboy slayer of JBs. U still looksmax, geomax, ets but it’s a different mindset

You’re hyperbolizing the experience of many people here. Most of us just want to have the fun that people around us seem to be able to experience naturally.

Accepting that I possess a lower quality of genetics is a very difficult thing to do, especially when it serves to cap your progress before you see any decent results. What’s more, everyone perpetuates this idea that it is a meritocracy, which pisses me off even more.

 

[habeebullah]

i feel you

 

[KpopmaxxingGuy]

i feel you

This is our future. If I don't get the IOIs I want after my bimax, I see myself becoming like the author of our post here.

I'm not asking for super harems here. I'm asking to be able to attract the girls I want and to have them attracted to me. And the fact that it is becoming very likely that no amount of effort will be able to get me to that point, that's legitimate ropefuel.

 

[gabbeascend]

Was bullied in middle school and high school, couldn't get a girlfriend or even a kiss... At the same time I saw my bullies or just "hot" guys effortlessly getting with my crushes. Even when I did manage to get some attention it always felt like the girls were below my standards and they didn't look at me the same way they did with others.

I couldn't explain at that time. I randomly started going to the gym, improved my looks a bit, and managed to get a gf or two in my uni years... Again, they were probably sub-5 or LTNs but because I was ignorant I felt happy and in love. However, they always lost attraction after a bit, refused sex, or just became distant. Couldn't explain why.

Then I stumbled onto the redpill. It was a major shock, but it did make sense. It challenged many of my world views and I sort of decided to believe in it and test it out. I used to be thoughtful and morally righteous, but I literally forced myself to become what at the time I considered a "monster" or "manipulator". I started seeing more results, but very inconsistenly. Again, success rate with sub-5 or LTNs was OKish, but any woman I considered "hot" or even "cute" felt impossible to get. In the rare occasions I managed to get lucky with a higher value woman, it never lasted at all.

That's when I discovered the blackpill. I read about the science, I saw the "scientific blackpill" page, and consumed many hours of videos and articles. It explained everything that felt inconsistent/wrong with the redpill. It was also extremely disheartening and it made me even more bitter, misogynistic, and upset with life. But I could finally explain why retarded and rude jocks in middle school / high school were considered attractive, or why I couldn't keep a cute girl around me for a long time.

I did what I could to improve my looks as much as possible. I also felt like this was the turning point where I truly lost my own personality. My personality was now completely dependent on who I was talking to, and on what my goals really were. I lost all my natural empathy and became this sort of morphing individual that tries to act in the way that is more likely to get results.

It worked decently for casual sex (again, no hot girls...), but this completely broke down in LTRs. I've had two multi-year LTRs with girls I considered "cute" (but were still max 5.5/10 or 6/10) where I did fall in love, and I completely ruined both of them because of my own insecurities and my understanding of my own value. After a year, the girls started noticing patterns, started realizing that I've always been a facade. They started realizing that I lacked empathy, and that their initial impression of me was wrong.

My latest LTR left me in tears because of how many times I hurt her by not realizing her needs and wants, and just trying to optimize everything to be as valuable as possible. Ironic -- what drawn her to me in the first place eventually became what drove her away from me. I was so focused on "not appearing weak", "acting high value", "maximizing my own looks" that I forgot how to be an actual human being. When she actually broke up with me, the realization of that and the feeling of grief was so strong that I literally spent weeks in physical pain. I still think about her pretty much every day and a surge of pain fills my body when I do.

After her, I dated girls more casually. But no girl wanted to be FWB or casual with me, they all wanted a relationship or at least to think we were moving towards a relationship. Instead of being honest and open with them, I misled them into thinking I wanted a relationship. We spent weeks or even months doing couple-y things, so that I could have their companionship and sex. And every single time, I didn't feel like actually entering a relationship with these girls, because I felt like I was dating below my standards.

I felt like I had no choice. I either date below my standards and pretend to be into these girls to get sex and affection, or be alone. I went on so many dates where the outcome was obvious from the first 10 seconds:
- if she was fat/ugly, she would sleep with me on the first date with no resistance and I would ghost her afterwards;
- if she was LTN, anything could happen, but let's say 50% would be totally uninterested, 30% would kiss me then ghost, 20% would sleep with me on 1st or 2nd date;
- if she was above LTN, there was nothing I could do. I almost even never got a kiss. Some girls even refused to sit next to me, or recoiled when I tried touching them. At least two girls lied to my face saying "sorry, I thought Tinder was for friendships!" as if I were a total retard.

I dated a 5/10 girl that was extremely sweet, caring, and nice for about 3-4 months. She was really into me, treated me with respect and affection, and couldn't get enough of my dick. Honestly speaking, I truly enjoyed her company, even outside the bedroom. But I always had this constant thought in my mind that "I was settling" and that "I could do better". If I thought about being with only her the rest of my life, I felt like I was missing out. I also felt like that every day I was not actively using dating apps or going outside to meet girls, I could have been missing out on a girl that I found more attractive.

We never explicitly agreed to exclusivity or to being in a relationship, but it was clear that this girl expected exclusivity and wanted something serious for me. Despite that, I kept seeing and talking to girls behind her back. One night we would fuck and cuddle each other to sleep, and the next morning I would meet some other chick for a coffee. I knew the risks of getting caught, and I felt extremely guilty, but I literally forced myself to go through my guilt because I wanted to maximize my chances at meeting a hotter girl that made me feel as respected and as valued as the one I was dating.

Of course, two days ago, she caught me outside with another girl. She didn't even make a scene, she just looked emotionally destroyed and walked away. I continued my date with the other girl, but in the end she was uninterested as she was actually cute.

After that I went to see the girl I was dating for a few months. She was in tears and looked visibly really hurt. She told me that I was a piece of shit and that she wanted me out of my life. I didn't break down or anything, but I told her that despite what she might think now I truly enjoyed her company and the time spent together and that she knew that. I told her that I should have been honest with her and that I didn't because I was selfish and scared. She told me to get the fuck away from her, and I left her alone in tears. She blocked me on all social media.

I felt like complete shit after that. I've become someone that I am not proud of and that doesn't really deserve to be loved or to be happy. And yet I feel that I cannot change that anymore. I feel like that I've become this way because I've discovered the real truth of the world, and that if I want to maximize my own success and my own chances at sexual strategy, the other party needs to be hurt or manipulated. I either have to sacrifice my morals/ethics or my results.

And you know what? If I just was sligthly hotter, slightly taller, I wouldn't need to do any of this shit. Girls I find cute/attractive would not run away from me. I would be able to be more self-confident and content with who I am and with the girls I can get. I feel like I was forced to become a monster because of the way I am and look, and because of all the pain I've received and caused in the past. Or maybe I'm just trying to rationalize being a shitty person.

The girl I was dating knew all of my friends, and I knew some of hers. While technically I never did lie to her, I did lie by omission and purposefully misled her. When the word gets out, my social circle will lose respect for me. If her friends see me outside, they'll likely want to fuck me up.

But I don't really care about that. I'm mostly sad because I know I hurt a girl that didn't deserve it at all. She was probably the sweetest and most decent human being I've met. She trusted me, opened herself up to me, and I emotionally destroyed her. She probably needs to go to therapy now and will not trust men ever again.

What was her fault? Just not being "hot enough". Not having a very cute face, not having enough curves for me to feel like I was dating someone that met my standards.

I've become the same kind of person that destroyed me in my earlier years. I can't help but feel that the knowledge I've gained is truthful and useful, but also made me even more unhappy than I was before.

tl;dr: I'm a shit human being.

Real

 

[Freixel]

Mmm, I think it gives a little peace of mind to know that one is only there for reasons of appearance and not because there are serious defects in one's personality.

On the other hand, it takes away passion and color from the world to know that appearance plays such an important role in the vital destiny of human beings.

Knowing that the social mass is extremely superficial makes you lose faith in humanity and you end up locked up without wanting to interact with anyone.