M
maxismisha
Iron
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2025
- Posts
- 61
- Reputation
- 49
Daily reminder: Chewing 3 packs of mastic gum a day, tilting your head at a 17.3° angle, and sleeping on your back with military discipline won’t turn you into a GigaChad. You’re not ‘activating your masseter.’ You’re just getting jaw cramps and scaring your roommates.”
Like bro… You’ve been mewing for 4 years and still look like the same default Skyrim NPC. You really think pushing your tongue to the roof of your mouth while taking bathroom selfies is going to ‘bring your midface forward’? You’re one tongue cramp away from enlightenment, huh?
And don’t get me started on the ‘eye area’ obsession. You dudes really out here dry scooping caffeine and squinting at the sun hoping your orbits become deeper. That’s not hunter eyes. That’s just vitamin D deficiency.
Also: There’s no ‘scleral show reduction exercise.’ Blinking slower won’t fix your canthal tilt. You look like a malfunctioning robot trying to stare into girls’ souls at Whole Foods.
Y’all make a morning routine that’s longer than a college final exam:
Bro just go outside. Touch grass. No one’s analyzing your gonial angle except you and 3 other dudes on a forum who also haven’t left the house in 6 days.
Like bro… You’ve been mewing for 4 years and still look like the same default Skyrim NPC. You really think pushing your tongue to the roof of your mouth while taking bathroom selfies is going to ‘bring your midface forward’? You’re one tongue cramp away from enlightenment, huh?
And don’t get me started on the ‘eye area’ obsession. You dudes really out here dry scooping caffeine and squinting at the sun hoping your orbits become deeper. That’s not hunter eyes. That’s just vitamin D deficiency.
Also: There’s no ‘scleral show reduction exercise.’ Blinking slower won’t fix your canthal tilt. You look like a malfunctioning robot trying to stare into girls’ souls at Whole Foods.
Y’all make a morning routine that’s longer than a college final exam:
- Wake up
- Check jaw in mirror
- Do tongue posture
- Ice face
- Tape mouth shut
- Chew gum
- Stare at face for 30 minutes hoping something changed
Bro just go outside. Touch grass. No one’s analyzing your gonial angle except you and 3 other dudes on a forum who also haven’t left the house in 6 days.
