lilith
vanity of vanities all is vanity
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2023
- Posts
- 8,178
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literally no matter the game i constantly want to kms after. it gives me the worst dysmorphia tbh. perfecting ratios and giving my character alien features just makes me realise how fucking weird the human face is and the fact that the avatar often times isn't an actual human but a 3d model adds to that disillusion and thus when i gaze upon my own face reality seems to devolve. i am deeply drowned in the familiar comfort of derealization but this is different. it hurts more. i realise i will never be what i fantasize. and we as humans have reached a plateau now where we cannot cope with the primitive nature and life of our ancestors. for survival was our only worry. now indeed we must confront what we are. what are flesh is. what we are made of. what my eyes nose fingers and singular hair molecule is. i really want to abandon my body. become something. anything. being flesh is the greatest curse.