ChatGPT five stages of grief from being brachy

[silently_said]

Here’s a satirical “Five Stages of Grief” breakdown tailored to a looksmax.org-style post about coming to terms with being brachycephalic:

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1. Denial​

“Bro… my head’s just wide, not short. FWHR is through the roof. I’ve got the Viking skull. It’s actually a masculine trait if you think about it.”

You spend hours reverse-Googling slavic MMA fighters and posting them in threads titled “Proof brachy = Chad???”
You begin convincing yourself that you’re just "not forward-grown... yet."
Your Hopium addiction reaches fatal levels.

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2. Anger​

“Why the f** would evolution even allow this skull shape to exist? Who asked for this compacted Lego head look??”*

You start resenting dolicho-posters and report their threads for "racial superiority bias."
Every mirror glance triggers an internal scream.
You threaten to sue your parents for cranial fraud.

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3. Bargaining​

“If I mew 8 hours a day and wear a DHT patch, maybe I can force some forward growth...”

You’re experimenting with pulling your face off with a neck harness from Amazon.
You consider maxillofacial surgery, cranial reshaping, and possibly reincarnation.
You dig up studies from 1974 about skull lengthening in rats.

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4. Depression​

“It’s over. I will never look like that ginger dolicho Chad with the aquiline nose and the 9cm midface.”

You uninstall Tinder after getting matched exclusively with bots.
You stop posting selfies on rate threads after being called "Zygoless Pugcel."
Your forum bio becomes just a crying emoji and your cephalic index.

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5. Acceptance​

“Maybe I’ll never be forward-grown, but I can at least grow forward emotionally.”

You stop chasing skull shapes and start optimizing what you can change.
You realize even dolicho guys can look mid if recessed or bloated.
You reframe your skull as "East Baltid-core" and tell yourself it’s a niche aesthetic.

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Final Message:
It’s not about the skull you were given. It’s about how you frame it—literally and mentally.
Now go lift, dermaroll, and stop comparing your head to stock photo models.

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Let me know if you want this styled like an actual looksmax.org post (e.g. username, formatting, “cope/rope/hope” tag ending).

 

[silently_said]

b

 

[chadhamed]

l

 

[silently_said]

B