rambocel
I keep it 💯 like I'm running a fever
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2020
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I’ve had OCD since I was conscious but was able to manage and live a relatively stress free and normal life up until the age of 13. I was popular, good-looking, smart, athletic, driven, ambitious, etc.
When I turned 13 all hell broke loose and my mind consumed me. My OCD was out of control and I started taking psych meds and going to therapy, etc. Around that time, I developed what I believe was depression (which has practically lasted every day since that point)). I went from being a hyper-worrier my whole life and very emotionally in tune, to being completely apathetic and indifferent to everything and emotionless. This was all in a matter of a few months. It was a drastic change that has still persisted to this day.
Anyway, OCD and depression have really ruined my life so far and robbed me of my youth. I’m 22 now. I was supposed to go to college, I was supposed to get together with girls, I was supposed to have a rich and fulfilling social life, because at my core, I still am a “normie”. I’m very extroverted and charismatic, but my mental illness caused me to socially withdraw and isolate. I’ve been on and off of various ssris and ssris for nearly a decade now, and I feel like they numb me and amplify the apathy. I’m finally making the changes now, but I have been overweight for like the past 6 years and essentially squandered my prime years with women. I’m really trying, but I really am having difficulties coming to terms with the past. I know it’s not my fault and that if I didn’t have mental illness I wouldn’t be here right now, but that doesn’t make it hurt any lees.
Anyway, can anyone here relate to this? Has anyone been able to overcome their mental illness and truly be at peace with the past?
TLDR;
I’m a 22 year old virgin whose life so far has been very difficult due to severe OCD and depression
When I turned 13 all hell broke loose and my mind consumed me. My OCD was out of control and I started taking psych meds and going to therapy, etc. Around that time, I developed what I believe was depression (which has practically lasted every day since that point)). I went from being a hyper-worrier my whole life and very emotionally in tune, to being completely apathetic and indifferent to everything and emotionless. This was all in a matter of a few months. It was a drastic change that has still persisted to this day.
Anyway, OCD and depression have really ruined my life so far and robbed me of my youth. I’m 22 now. I was supposed to go to college, I was supposed to get together with girls, I was supposed to have a rich and fulfilling social life, because at my core, I still am a “normie”. I’m very extroverted and charismatic, but my mental illness caused me to socially withdraw and isolate. I’ve been on and off of various ssris and ssris for nearly a decade now, and I feel like they numb me and amplify the apathy. I’m finally making the changes now, but I have been overweight for like the past 6 years and essentially squandered my prime years with women. I’m really trying, but I really am having difficulties coming to terms with the past. I know it’s not my fault and that if I didn’t have mental illness I wouldn’t be here right now, but that doesn’t make it hurt any lees.
Anyway, can anyone here relate to this? Has anyone been able to overcome their mental illness and truly be at peace with the past?
TLDR;
I’m a 22 year old virgin whose life so far has been very difficult due to severe OCD and depression
