Does not socializing whatsoever and being isolated at college make it much harder to find a partner or am I just not attractive enough?

[Arzenic]

Yeah, partially.

If you understand neurochemistry, I’d say my oxytocin production is lower than others, and this applies to everyone.

I haven't really studied it that much, but i do get what you mean. I also struggle from the same issue, which was the biggest factor why most of my teenage relationships didin't last more than 1-2 months and sticked more to hookups, lol.

I feel like the only part that really sucks about it when trying to have these kinda traits, is that you will never feel like you belong in the crowd or any group. That feeling never really leaves.

 

[cooIguy]

you are not socializing enough
social circle is law
ltn in good social circle has way more chance to slay than hmtn like you with bad social circle

 

[enchanted_elixir]

I haven't really studied it that much, but i do get what you mean. I also struggle from the same issue, which was the biggest factor why most of my teenage relationships didin't last more than 1-2 months and sticked more to hookups, lol.

I feel like the only part that really sucks about it when trying to have these kinda traits, is that you will never feel like you belong in the crowd or any group. That feeling never really leaves.

I edited my comment to describe it better. You should check it out.

 

[enchanted_elixir]

you are not socializing enough
social circle is law
ltn in good social circle has way more chance to slay than hmtn like you with bad social circle

Alright, thank you!

 

[Arzenic]

Or, phenomenologically, I’d say that I don’t really connect with them, period.

If the average persons sense of connection to others could be quantified as x, mine would be like 1/5 of x.

Hmm, so basicly in simple words you don't feel the intrest or need to surround yourself with people nor have human interactions?

 

[enchanted_elixir]

I haven't really studied it that much, but i do get what you mean. I also struggle from the same issue, which was the biggest factor why most of my teenage relationships didin't last more than 1-2 months and sticked more to hookups, lol.

I feel like the only part that really sucks about it when trying to have these kinda traits, is that you will never feel like you belong in the crowd or any group. That feeling never really leaves.

Just got off the phone with an aunt who wanted to talk to me.

I have a weak “concern or interest in others” so I just said the basics greetings and stuff and gave my father the phone back.

And I definitely relate to you on the fitting in, although I’m for me it has the additional dimension that most normies are degenerate, of a dysgenic culture and function like lower iq peoooe so you could never have an interesting conversation with them on a topic like law, civilization, scientific theories, logic, strategy etc. I’d rather discuss ideas.

Instead it’s usually about video games (not bad) or like celeb stuff or some other nonsense.

 

[enchanted_elixir]

Hmm, so basicly in simple words you don't feel the intrest or need to surround yourself with people nor have human interactions?

Yeah. Schizoid would be a pretty parsimonious way of describing it.

 

[enchanted_elixir]

Hmm, so basicly in simple words you don't feel the intrest or need to surround yourself with people nor have human interactions?

And during lockdown, for a few months I essentially locked myself in my room and I definitely think that has had an effect on me for sure.

 

[enchanted_elixir]

Hmm, so basicly in simple words you don't feel the intrest or need to surround yourself with people nor have human interactions?

Also, I would say I don’t feel it, it’s that it’s weak, especially the connection part.

 

[jeremyy]

As a Low HTN/high MTN with shoe lifts to 5’11/6’0

I sometimes think that’s the case, but I don’t know if it’s just that I’m not attractive enough.

Sometimes I feel like I see that some women I encounter give me IOIs but they don’t seem to have a rush on me or anything. Not certain. These women are more attentive compared to the ones I’ll talk about below (almost exclusively MTBs and possibly low HTBs)

The ones I am certain of are always women with crushes on me (often for months or even semesters and years), and they give me stronger IOIs, and the sure usually less attractive (LTBs)

so that means the black guy with the hat wasn’t real?

 

[enchanted_elixir]

so that means the black guy with the hat wasn’t real?

I AM NOT CODY WINTERS!

I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU GUYS ARE FALLING FOR THAT 2022 FUOTY INTENSE AS FUCK SEMI-FINAL DEFAMATION PROPAGANDA IN WHICH @ReadBooksEveryday EDITED THE CARD TO MAKE THAT LOOK LIKE IT'S ME BY REWRITING THE TEXT ON THE PAPER TO MY USERNAME...

looksmax.org

 

[Arzenic]

Just got off the phone with an aunt who wanted to talk to me.

I have a weak “concern or interest in others” so I just said the basics greetings and stuff and gave my father the phone back.

And I definitely relate to you on the fitting in, although I’m for me it has the additional dimension that most normies are degenerate, of a dysgenic culture and function like lower iq peoooe so you could never have an interesting conversation with them on a topic like law, civilization, scientific theories, logic, strategy etc. I’d rather discuss ideas.

Instead it’s usually about video games (not bad) or like celeb stuff or some other nonsense.

Yeah i totally get you, and i can relate to that too. The average person isin't intrested or educated about topics that i would like to have a converstation about..

And during lockdown, for a few months I essentially locked myself in my room and I definitely think that has had an effect on me for sure.

Yeah, that deffinetly had an effect on everyone.

Also, I would say I don’t feel it, it’s that it’s weak, especially the connection part.

Yeah, i have the same thing too.

And the thing is that now that even though i've learned how to socialize and be charismatic, the truth is that i'm not like a "social pill" or how would you say it? I don't talk with people all the time, every time. Since there isin't really alot to talk about, what they would be intrested in. As you mentioned; discussing ideas are way more intresting than some shit from video games

I get along with everyone, which is a great benefit. And now that i can socialize i can spark a conversation out of nowhere from their side. But in end of the day, i don't really give a shit what that guys mother said 3 years ago. So basicly i still be by myself alot since that's what i like and enjoy. But if i need to or want to i can socialize and get to close with anyone.

 

[enchanted_elixir]

Yeah i totally get you, and i can relate to that too. The average person isin't intrested or educated about topics that i would like to have a converstation about..


Yeah, that deffinetly had an effect on everyone.


Yeah, i have the same thing too.

And the thing is that now that even though i've learned how to socialize and be charismatic, the truth is that i'm not like a "social pill" or how would you say it? I don't talk with people all the time, every time. Since there isin't really alot to talk about, what they would be intrested in. As you mentioned; discussing ideas are way more intresting than some shit from video games

I get along with everyone, which is a great benefit. And now that i can socialize i can spark a conversation out of nowhere from their side. But in end of the day, i don't really give a shit what that guys mother said 3 years ago. So basicly i still be by myself alot since that's what i like and enjoy. But if i need to or want to i can socialize and get to close with anyone.

Nice. Since I basically know very few people (besides the girls that are interested in me) What procedure would you recommend to implement this advice?

 

[Arzenic]

Nice. Since I basically know very few people (besides the girls that are interested in me) What procedure would you recommend to implement this advice?

Depends on the goal, the process to a good friendship versus to a relationship is diffrent.

As i mentioned before though: You can't really target charismatic traits, because if you would then you would not be charismatic. Since being charismatic is supposed to be natural.

Assuming that your goal is to up your social game overall, i would suggest you a similar journey as i went through.

First step would be to identify the skills that you lack and which are required to get through the mission.

I would recomend you to start by identifying one social action to practice this week, plan one for the next week in the weekends. During you would observe how it felt and the response it generated. (This is to make socializing more natural to you)
Funny story, when i started my journey one time i would ask for a protein shake from my gym since i forgot my debit card. And she actually ended up giving me one haha.

Also one important question is that how is your confidence?

 

[enchanted_elixir]

Depends on the goal, the process to a good friendship versus to a relationship is diffrent.

As i mentioned before though: You can't really target charismatic traits, because if you would then you would not be charismatic. Since being charismatic is supposed to be natural.

Assuming that your goal is to up your social game overall, i would suggest you a similar journey as i went through.

First step would be to identify the skills that you lack and which are required to get through the mission.

I would recomend you to start by identifying one social action to practice this week, plan one for the next week in the weekends. During you would observe how it felt and the response it generated. (This is to make socializing more natural to you)
Funny story, when i started my journey one time i would ask for a protein shake from my gym since i forgot my debit card. And she actually ended up giving me one haha.

Also one important question is that how is your confidence?

For free? (The protein shake)

Confidence is not that good. I’m worried about adverse social reactions, likely due to being teased and ostracized in school for a long time.

 

[Arzenic]

For free? (The protein shake)

Yes haha.

Confidence is not that good. I’m worried about adverse social reactions, likely due to being teased and ostracized in school for a long time.

That's fair enough, and it's very natural to the human psychology. Something very important i've learned is that, most of the time people are too busy at minding they're own insecurities that they won't remember yours nor even notice them.

However confidence develops through three layers, which are your looks (posture, facial expressions, gestures, hair. Etc), feel (mindset, emotional state) and your sound (which are your vocal qualities: tone, pace, volume).
Your feelings follow your behaviour, so you should adjust into what you can control at all times. Stand tall, speak clearly, smile naturally. Take care of your self. Your brain will respond with genuine confidence.
Doing these will generate a confidence feedback loop. Which basicly means that when you act confident your brain is going to interpret these signals, which is going to result you feeling more confident. Now you just have to repeat deliberately until it comes naturally.

It's important to know that confidence will not replace your shyness. They can exist together. Give your confident side a chance to speak up, while still being genuine and true to yourself.

 

[enchanted_elixir]

Yes haha.



That's fair enough, and it's very natural to the human psychology. Something very important i've learned is that, most of the time people are too busy at minding they're own insecurities that they won't remember yours nor even notice them.

However confidence develops through three layers, which are your looks (posture, facial expressions, gestures, hair. Etc), feel (mindset, emotional state) and your sound (which are your vocal qualities: tone, pace, volume).
Your feelings follow your behaviour, so you should adjust into what you can control at all times. Stand tall, speak clearly, smile naturally. Take care of your self. Your brain will respond with genuine confidence.
Doing these will generate a confidence feedback loop. Which basicly means that when you act confident your brain is going to interpret these signals, which is going to result you feeling more confident. Now you just have to repeat deliberately until it comes naturally.

It's important to know that confidence will not replace your shyness. They can exist together. Give your confident side a chance to speak up, while still being genuine and true to yourself.

Thanks for all the help you’ve given me today! Have a good night!

 

[Arzenic]

Thanks for all the help you’ve given me today! Have a good night!

No worries dude, have a good night too!