evil and confused poetic rambling

D

Deleted member 48352

I am Richard
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Within me commands evil
But so does good
So, how to express both evil and good?
Who is there to be good to when I am disconnected from the world?
I never feel like I belong
I am not human in this contemporary sense, but where is the wild to which I am part?
My imagination is left wandering
My senses are left in an alien world with myself alien to them
They are conspiring against me
I hate them
And moreso I despise being their slave
To earn praise is to serve myself?
Yes and no, for what self have I become to which I serve?
What self is consequently suppressed in favor of this lesser self?
Who is the true me, pure and uncompromised?
I feel so evil–
But who have I invoked?
Is serving evil not slavery as well, only to the opposite side?
Is the exaltation from evil deeds not the same concept as the appraise for serving good?
 
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Did read the title but not the wall of text
 
I'm lonely, scared and traumatised
 
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