Existential/Quarter Life Crisis

[eqwrwerqwrqwr]

These past few months I’ve gone through a pretty bad life crisis. I feel stuck, lost, and hopeless. I am questioning everything and it has gotten too a point where it is debilitating and taking away from every other aspect of my life. Everything is falling apart and I feel hopeless. Reality seems so scary right now. And I don’t know what to do other then rant about my problems and hope someone can at least offer some guidance or perspective.

[Originally, this post was a long a** rant that I spent about 15 mins just writing. It was messy and very chaotic, so I took the paint points of the rant and made a bullet-point summary.]

Homeschooling Trauma
No social life / friends
Bad social anxiety
Cheating throughout online school, and forgetting the things I did learn and fear of lack of essential and necessary education before entering college.
Life is bleak and others pity me
FOMO on teenage / HS experiences

Existential Crisis Based on Nihilism
Fear of death
Fear of wasted time / further wasting time and not spending it correctly, not making use of every moment. And not knowing how or why to even spend it correctly.
My existence feels futile and mundane but also confusing without meaning, it all feels meaningless
Fear of dying without knowing everything there is too know about everything
Feeling insignificant and useless in a literal and existential way
Afraid I cannot go back to how I was mentally and physically with these realizations. I feel doomed. I can't continue with regular life anymore, I keep thinking about how it all doesn't matter and how I won't possibly solve all these issues and that I'm just living a distraction. It's all a distraction. All cope. I feel paralyzed. And how can I live knowing how *** up our world is.

Mental Health
Feeling of depression and suicide.
Chronic and debilitating procrastination that has ruined every aspect of life, caused me too go days without doing school work or even basic tasks like showering, and has put me behind in school, my previous goals, basic *** like attending college orientations, changing clothes, sleeping and life in general.
Overeating and excessive weight gain
Extreme insecurities regarding physical appearance (looks, acne, weight, height), have fallen into the "blackpill" rabbit hole and it's made me very depressed.
Loneliness: virgin, friendless, loveless
Cases of ghosting from perceived friends that have happened in more then one instance
Negative experiences with therapy and doubts about its practical, ethical, and scientific legitimacy.
The realization my loved ones may also be struggling just as bad as me

Life Crisis Regarding Future (School, Career, Finances, Personal)
Fear of going too college because of social anxiety and it being a repeat of high-school loneliness and suffering.
Insecurities involving the prestige and price of school as well as major choice not being a good fit, being too hard, and useless
Unsure if college is right for me and feel like I am going in blind
The desire too play college soccer but the reality of not being recruited and me not realistically making my team due to skill issues, development issues, and the fact my school is a high level team and I barely played in HS.
Hopelessness when it comes too dreams I’ve had as a kid (soccer, music, content creation, entrepreneurship) shattering against reality and never coming true. The realization of probability / determinism / luck / insane skill I may not posses in regards too hopes and dreams / unfairness of capitalist system has killed my hope. I will die never accomplish these and any sliver of hope is delusion. But, I cannot live with this notion. It hurts to realize not everything is possible.
Fear of being average and never accomplishing remarkable feats.
Fears of being doomed to wage slavery and being poor for the rest of my life just like I am now. Afraid I won’t be able to provide for my family and / or follow passions and be a failure in life like I already am.
Finding self improvement, goals, and even continuing life itself futile and so confusing with all this hopelessness and uncontrollable factors that seem to not favor me. This is causing me too feel stuck and unsure what my “next steps” are, I’m just living day by day and I am clueless. I want answers.

 

[goyard]

So literally all imaginative problems ur just making up in ur head and 0 actual problems of substance that deserve change

 

[Artemis]

Quarter Life Crisis​

 

[Flanked]

These past few months I’ve gone through a pretty bad life crisis. I feel stuck, lost, and hopeless. I am questioning everything and it has gotten too a point where it is debilitating and taking away from every other aspect of my life. Everything is falling apart and I feel hopeless. Reality seems so scary right now. And I don’t know what to do other then rant about my problems and hope someone can at least offer some guidance or perspective.

[Originally, this post was a long a** rant that I spent about 15 mins just writing. It was messy and very chaotic, so I took the paint points of the rant and made a bullet-point summary.]

Homeschooling Trauma
No social life / friends
Bad social anxiety
Cheating throughout online school, and forgetting the things I did learn and fear of lack of essential and necessary education before entering college.
Life is bleak and others pity me
FOMO on teenage / HS experiences

Existential Crisis Based on Nihilism
Fear of death
Fear of wasted time / further wasting time and not spending it correctly, not making use of every moment. And not knowing how or why to even spend it correctly.
My existence feels futile and mundane but also confusing without meaning, it all feels meaningless
Fear of dying without knowing everything there is too know about everything
Feeling insignificant and useless in a literal and existential way
Afraid I cannot go back to how I was mentally and physically with these realizations. I feel doomed. I can't continue with regular life anymore, I keep thinking about how it all doesn't matter and how I won't possibly solve all these issues and that I'm just living a distraction. It's all a distraction. All cope. I feel paralyzed. And how can I live knowing how *** up our world is.

Mental Health
Feeling of depression and suicide.
Chronic and debilitating procrastination that has ruined every aspect of life, caused me too go days without doing school work or even basic tasks like showering, and has put me behind in school, my previous goals, basic *** like attending college orientations, changing clothes, sleeping and life in general.
Overeating and excessive weight gain
Extreme insecurities regarding physical appearance (looks, acne, weight, height), have fallen into the "blackpill" rabbit hole and it's made me very depressed.
Loneliness: virgin, friendless, loveless
Cases of ghosting from perceived friends that have happened in more then one instance
Negative experiences with therapy and doubts about its practical, ethical, and scientific legitimacy.
The realization my loved ones may also be struggling just as bad as me

Life Crisis Regarding Future (School, Career, Finances, Personal)
Fear of going too college because of social anxiety and it being a repeat of high-school loneliness and suffering.
Insecurities involving the prestige and price of school as well as major choice not being a good fit, being too hard, and useless
Unsure if college is right for me and feel like I am going in blind
The desire too play college soccer but the reality of not being recruited and me not realistically making my team due to skill issues, development issues, and the fact my school is a high level team and I barely played in HS.
Hopelessness when it comes too dreams I’ve had as a kid (soccer, music, content creation, entrepreneurship) shattering against reality and never coming true. The realization of probability / determinism / luck / insane skill I may not posses in regards too hopes and dreams / unfairness of capitalist system has killed my hope. I will die never accomplish these and any sliver of hope is delusion. But, I cannot live with this notion. It hurts to realize not everything is possible.
Fear of being average and never accomplishing remarkable feats.
Fears of being doomed to wage slavery and being poor for the rest of my life just like I am now. Afraid I won’t be able to provide for my family and / or follow passions and be a failure in life like I already am.
Finding self improvement, goals, and even continuing life itself futile and so confusing with all this hopelessness and uncontrollable factors that seem to not favor me. This is causing me too feel stuck and unsure what my “next steps” are, I’m just living day by day and I am clueless. I want answers.

I reckon you are no older than 20.
you still have PLENTY of time to get STABLE.
FIX your mental.
stop OVERTHINKING and creating ideals in your head, instead set GOALS.
no one is going to change your life for you.
once you get stable, then look further to the future, for now, focus on the PRESENT and work one small STEP at a time.
all your depression and nihilism is bullshit crap dogshit worthless mental retardation, stop being a PUSSY.

you are not going to change the world but you can change your world, so go get it champ.

 

[longjohnmong]

start meditating and running. seriously.

also, by the time you're like 28 you will completely stop giving a fuck about missing out on high school experiences. that shit is meaningless. if you're on your deathbed and high school was the pinnacle of your existence, you fucked up.

 

[Deleted member 16220]

What's up dude.

Trust me I've been there.

I never had friends growing up. My parents are both losers and very bitter and resentful. My father raped every stepdaughter he had, abandoned every son he had, and beat every every son he did have. One of my brothers has been in and out of prison for violence his entire life and I chose the spiritual route. As a kid my dad would beat me so bloody my blood would cover the walls. My nose is crooked and I have ptosis in one eye from it to this day.

I hit puberty and got some of the most brutal acne you've ever seen in your life.

I read the bible during this time about 15 times in the King James. That helped a lot to mentally cope but there's some shit I had to learn later. I fell into atheism for the next few years and failed social interactions, finding out I'm not good enough looking for the dating market, constant betrayal and being a average male in a society that's as bad as ours, i became nihilistic, suicidal, and filled with hate.

Got tattoos, hit the gym, literally shaved my head bald, hopped on steroids, I have been homeless for the last like 6 months to save for surgery. I have lived a very extreme life thusfar but I know what rock bottom feels like. I literally was completely alone when I was 18 years old. No house, no family, no friends, virgin, ugly, very painful acne and a fucked up face from my dad beating me. Believe me, I've been at rock bottom.

As men get older they realize that life is very brutal and the only way to live it well is to submit unto the rules of life not pretend you are God and make the rules. Older societies perfected this and over thousands of years came to invent their own religions and behavioral practices that made their lives feel meaningful and helped combat the meaningless suffering.

Let me explain some shit for you. You need to change your life. Begin with your behaviors.

1) If you jack off, stop. Biochemically you're ruining the sensitivity of your dopamine receptors so nothing except food and more jacking off gives your raped dopamine receptors any feeling. You'll feel numb and not only numb, but in pain, because all the pain of your problems are still there but no reward and dopamine from "fighting the good fight" with hard work. So stop jacking off, i don't care how hard it is, you need to.

2) Get your money up

The value of money isn't to buy nice things, it's actually more just to have freedom. Freedom is power. If you can do whatever you want whenever you want, that's literally power. And money is security, and security is less anxiety and worry. When you need something, you can get it. Money is freedom and security from pain.

3) Get alone

Everyone who ever loved life lived a more solitary life because that's where you are truly yourself. Get alone for a while just to really find yourself and practice good behaviors and you'll be where you need to be mentally.

4) Pray

I don't know if God exists. I see unimaginable amounts of suffering every day that tells me God does not exist. I am very aware of suffering... I suffer daily. This is the figure of Christ. He suffers and dies and says "God why have you forsaken me?" as he is killed innocently. That's the value of putting a man like Christ as your idol, you gain the bravery and courage to embrace your own suffering, as if you are being tortured and executed like Christ, if he was your role model. Again, i don't know if I believe in God. But pray anyways with real conviction. Ask for help. You'll be surprised how therapeutic it is. Remember even if God doesn't exist people still prayed for thousands of years to many different gods. There must be some value in prayer then. Try it. You have literally nothing to lose.

5) Do whatever it takes to reach your goals

I did nofap for 2.5 years. I joined the military and left and got many awards while I was in for hard work. I was homeless sleeping in my car for 6 months to save for surgery. I hopped on steroids, many research chemicals, i did all of this because I genuinely am willing to do whatever it takes to reach my goals.

Look dude. I started out with a terrible frame terrible face, virgin, mentally fucked up.

You might not be able to tell, but I was 160 skinnyfat there and in the after pic im 210 lean. People frequently call me wide as fuck now and I used to be shaped like a pear and narrow.

You can do whatever you want in this life dude. Surround yourself with the right people, chase a dream, develop the spiritual side of you and life isn't that bad dude.

Another thing I want you to do. I like to read a few philosophers for my own mental development in my free time. I just read these quotes off this website. A few ones for nihilism are Nietzche and Dostoevsky (famously wrote Crime and Punishment).

Try it

600 QUOTES BY FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY [PAGE - 4] | A-Z Quotes

Discover Fyodor Dostoevsky famous and rare quotes. Share Fyodor Dostoevsky quotations about heart, suffering and crime and punishment. "Nature doesn't ask your permission; it doesn't care..."

www.azquotes.com

 

[Mr. President]

What's up dude.

Trust me I've been there.

I never had friends growing up. My parents are both losers and very bitter and resentful. My father raped every stepdaughter he had, abandoned every son he had, and beat every every son he did have. One of my brothers has been in and out of prison for violence his entire life and I chose the spiritual route. As a kid my dad would beat me so bloody my blood would cover the walls. My nose is crooked and I have ptosis in one eye from it to this day.

I hit puberty and got some of the most brutal acne you've ever seen in your life.

View attachment 2303158

I read the bible during this time about 15 times in the King James. That helped a lot to mentally cope but there's some shit I had to learn later. I fell into atheism for the next few years and failed social interactions, finding out I'm not good enough looking for the dating market, constant betrayal and being a average male in a society that's as bad as ours, i became nihilistic, suicidal, and filled with hate.

Got tattoos, hit the gym, literally shaved my head bald, hopped on steroids, I have been homeless for the last like 6 months to save for surgery. I have lived a very extreme life thusfar but I know what rock bottom feels like. I literally was completely alone when I was 18 years old. No house, no family, no friends, virgin, ugly, very painful acne and a fucked up face from my dad beating me. Believe me, I've been at rock bottom.

As men get older they realize that life is very brutal and the only way to live it well is to submit unto the rules of life not pretend you are God and make the rules. Older societies perfected this and over thousands of years came to invent their own religions and behavioral practices that made their lives feel meaningful and helped combat the meaningless suffering.

Let me explain some shit for you. You need to change your life. Begin with your behaviors.

1) If you jack off, stop. Biochemically you're ruining the sensitivity of your dopamine receptors so nothing except food and more jacking off gives your raped dopamine receptors any feeling. You'll feel numb and not only numb, but in pain, because all the pain of your problems are still there but no reward and dopamine from "fighting the good fight" with hard work. So stop jacking off, i don't care how hard it is, you need to.

2) Get your money up

The value of money isn't to buy nice things, it's actually more just to have freedom. Freedom is power. If you can do whatever you want whenever you want, that's literally power. And money is security, and security is less anxiety and worry. When you need something, you can get it. Money is freedom and security from pain.

3) Get alone

Everyone who ever loved life lived a more solitary life because that's where you are truly yourself. Get alone for a while just to really find yourself and practice good behaviors and you'll be where you need to be mentally.

4) Pray

I don't know if God exists. I see unimaginable amounts of suffering every day that tells me God does not exist. I am very aware of suffering... I suffer daily. This is the figure of Christ. He suffers and dies and says "God why have you forsaken me?" as he is killed innocently. That's the value of putting a man like Christ as your idol, you gain the bravery and courage to embrace your own suffering, as if you are being tortured and executed like Christ, if he was your role model. Again, i don't know if I believe in God. But pray anyways with real conviction. Ask for help. You'll be surprised how therapeutic it is. Remember even if God doesn't exist people still prayed for thousands of years to many different gods. There must be some value in prayer then. Try it. You have literally nothing to lose.

5) Do whatever it takes to reach your goals

I did nofap for 2.5 years. I joined the military and left and got many awards while I was in for hard work. I was homeless sleeping in my car for 6 months to save for surgery. I hopped on steroids, many research chemicals, i did all of this because I genuinely am willing to do whatever it takes to reach my goals.

Look dude. I started out with a terrible frame terrible face, virgin, mentally fucked up.

View attachment 2303161 View attachment 2303162

You might not be able to tell, but I was 160 skinnyfat there and in the after pic im 210 lean. People frequently call me wide as fuck now and I used to be shaped like a pear and narrow.

You can do whatever you want in this life dude. Surround yourself with the right people, chase a dream, develop the spiritual side of you and life isn't that bad dude.

Another thing I want you to do. I like to read a few philosophers for my own mental development in my free time. I just read these quotes off this website. A few ones for nihilism are Nietzche and Dostoevsky (famously wrote Crime and Punishment).

Try it

600 QUOTES BY FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY [PAGE - 4] | A-Z Quotes

Discover Fyodor Dostoevsky famous and rare quotes. Share Fyodor Dostoevsky quotations about heart, suffering and crime and punishment. "Nature doesn't ask your permission; it doesn't care..."

www.azquotes.com

View attachment 2303167

You did some good today man, proud of you and thanks for being on the forum