BigJimsWornOutTires
Kraken
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Creepy-crawly labia bugs are surprising their one-night stands from mainstream dating apps like Tinder and Bumble. "It's like an invasion of reminders," an anonymous guy said.
The French government refuses to fight these bugs because they're part of French culture. However, tourists are running into them on trains, public transport buses, park benches, movie theater seats, and in restaurants and bars.
Below is a video clip that shows what these offensive critters look like after detaching themselves from women's vaginas in search of a new home.
Research Expert Biologist Professional Juggler Mike, who lives in a Home Depot shed in the back of the house, explained they aren't uncommon when considering the circumstances. "Fucking whores, do I need to say more? What did you expect to come from those fucking whores? Rose peddles and honey? Get the fuck outta here, nigga or I'll pop you in your mouth."
Labia bugs, which originated in France in the 800s after Vikings sampled the French women, are migrating across the globe, seeking new wrecked cottages of high-body-count women.
99% of French women aged 19 and older are believed to have a labia bug infestation, which usually requires pest control that costs nothing because, well, it's France. They don't do anything about them.
Labia bugs get their name from their delicacy of nesting in the vagina's labia (the lips) and sometimes pubic hair, if any, however, they can hide in the tiny crevices of a puffy, wrecked anus.
en.wikipedia.org
They come out after sex or masturbation to feed on the flaky crust of female seminal fluid or male sperm and have a diet once a month, taking advantage of menstrual cycle leftovers.
Their bites leave STDs, thus blisters or large black patches of dead rotting skin causing intense itching and usually leaking a foul odor and emitting cloudy steam from the puncture wounds.
They also contribute to mental disorders, resulting in an attitude response without any discernible reason.
"Eh, stop judging our women. The labia bugs are a product of our awesome passion and love-making culture," French authority concluded.
The French government refuses to fight these bugs because they're part of French culture. However, tourists are running into them on trains, public transport buses, park benches, movie theater seats, and in restaurants and bars.
Below is a video clip that shows what these offensive critters look like after detaching themselves from women's vaginas in search of a new home.
Research Expert Biologist Professional Juggler Mike, who lives in a Home Depot shed in the back of the house, explained they aren't uncommon when considering the circumstances. "Fucking whores, do I need to say more? What did you expect to come from those fucking whores? Rose peddles and honey? Get the fuck outta here, nigga or I'll pop you in your mouth."
Labia bugs, which originated in France in the 800s after Vikings sampled the French women, are migrating across the globe, seeking new wrecked cottages of high-body-count women.
99% of French women aged 19 and older are believed to have a labia bug infestation, which usually requires pest control that costs nothing because, well, it's France. They don't do anything about them.
Labia bugs get their name from their delicacy of nesting in the vagina's labia (the lips) and sometimes pubic hair, if any, however, they can hide in the tiny crevices of a puffy, wrecked anus.
Labia - Wikipedia
They come out after sex or masturbation to feed on the flaky crust of female seminal fluid or male sperm and have a diet once a month, taking advantage of menstrual cycle leftovers.
Their bites leave STDs, thus blisters or large black patches of dead rotting skin causing intense itching and usually leaking a foul odor and emitting cloudy steam from the puncture wounds.
They also contribute to mental disorders, resulting in an attitude response without any discernible reason.
"Eh, stop judging our women. The labia bugs are a product of our awesome passion and love-making culture," French authority concluded.
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