Deleted member 6572
Kraken
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2020
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I might not be posting the threads I have been anymore. I am an in an extremely bad place lately, well I have been all my life. My life was cured from the start and it is without a doubt over. I will start off by telling how it all began and now where I am at. My post may be shit tho as I am autistic in the non meme sort of way.
As many of you know I am the result of an interracial marriage. My parents met on a dating site for Indian grooms to get married, and my mom was on a lot of meds before I was born, both my parents and mental health issues. once they married they moved around the country when I was born, my mom always being isolated and then we settled in Atlanta when I was 4. I was a mixed half white half Indian kid going to a small al white private school. My parents would always fight, I was always so mean to my mom I was a disgusting monster. I was extremely isolated as a kid only went over to someone else's house 6 times till the age of 10. I had no life no friends, my parents would not let me, I grew up in a small isolated neighborhood. My teachers always wanted to get me tested because they knew I was not normal then. My old life almost seems like another reality. I feel like I have probably the craziest weirdest life you can imagine. At age 10 I moved to this bigger private school once I hit puberty. I started to exhibit all the signs of autism, I would hyperfixate on my development suffering meltdowns all the time about my growth being stunted as early as 10. I was always an outcast, always picked last in gym class, was never passed to in gym class, was just left behind by everybody. I was always really short as my eating patterns were always restricted tho just chicken and fries and other meat and junk food. I would constantly ask to height compare 24/7 with the other kids.
I always struggled with simple organization things such as taking showers, getting dressed tucking in my uniform and so on. I would have nightmares and freak out everyday at home crying for hours. around 11 is when I became obsessed with germs and chemicals, I would freak out and become aggressive with my mom over chemicals which obviously sent normal and I would have to repeat certain phrases certain amount of times before I felt at peace, I remember everyday after school I would get in the car and show my mom. how to properly cover her cough as I was afraid of getting sick and I would get aggressive is she even coughed near me. She denies and my dad does too seeing any signs of this autism In me. At 12 I was still in the same school but moved to the main campus so my bus ride was 35 miles everyday. This is when I really fell apart, I could not function my locker my binder, my everything was just a mess and falling apart, and I was so scared of not sleeping and my development being stunted I slept in my dads bed. my mom would often accuse him of molesting me. I would beg to go to public school as I couldn't handle it. My math teacher begged my dad to get me tested for autism but he declined it didn't matter to him. He didn't want a son with autism. My parents decided I could go to public school but not in Atlanta as it was too dangerous I guess. So we decided to move to san Ramon California. We moved right before my 13th birthday. It was so nice the neighborhood was so bug and the house was too expensive to afford we were renting but it still was too much. I was in a public school called:Iron horse middle School. The first half of the year I had a few friends, basically just outcasts like me I would come home and game or just watch Netflix life ws good. Then the second half of the year I started watching breaking bad and it influenced me to do drugs. I was so autistic every time I was caught and would end up in the ER or get in trouble. Then after a long fight my dad stabbed himself in front of me. When he got out of the mental hospital he made me and my mom live in Extended stay America. I would hit my mom as a joke and I was a piece of crap, I made the thread about the time I ran away from school and they had a manhunt for me. I never really had a gf it was a LARP it was like 2 weeks long and we never even kissed. I then got sent away to the programs: REDCLIFF ASCENT, ARIVACA BOYS RANCH, DIAMOND RANCH ACADEMY. When I cam e out we were back in Atlanta I was extremely isolated no phone no computer, locked in a room for 3 months. I had a breakdown and slit my wrists then my dad enrolled me in RIVERSIDE MILITARY ACADEMY. It was 40 miles from where I lived so we would drive 80 miles everyday and sometimes live in VRBOs. I was bullied badly and my dad started givibhg me vapes to sell and giv8ng me alcohol to bring to school at 14. At the end of the year he gave me two ounces of weed for two weeks while my mom was away and let me smoke it in my room all day long. I knew no one and had no one, no one lived near me or knew me, I talked to no one. I would have delusions and hallucinations from my isolation and drug abuse, and I would take dxm smoke weed and be high for days. Halfway through the summer I told my mom all the stuff my dad idd to me while in my bed, and she said she had a gut feeling it was going on all along. But my mom wanted my dads money and I had to get into this boarding school or else I would be sent away again. I freaked out and kicked my mom and she left me in the car and got charged with child abandonment so she left for ohio.I was with my dad and all alone and me and him would smoke weed all day all night together, I would never leave the house and he was helping me sell vapors to kids. He said just go to the boarding school 5 days a week and go to therapy and lie to them and you can smoke weed with me on the weekend. I started at he boarding school and quickly became disliked I was a mess from all the shit I gone through. I would come home on the weekend sleep all day no one number or contacts in my phone at all. Around November 2018 my mom came back to visit me and I did 300mg dcm in the movie theater and I forgot about literally everything it was ht bets thing ever. I was os sad when my mom left and I was trapped back at this School. My autism made me super hypersexual and abnormal. around December my mom comes back and my dad and mom fight like crazy. He kicked us out and were living in VRBOs till April even in a few illegal VRBOs my mom was the only thing keeping me alive, and she admitted how abnormal my upbringing had been but she's gone. I got kicked out of the private school for doing drugs in April and sat at home abusing my adder all all day going on 5 hour porn binges. My mom concinces my dad to move one last time to Denver and he agrees but I have to go to a private school, or else ill be sent to programs till I am 18. I amm so worried and we head to Denver leaving Atlanta behind. We live in hotels and VRBOs all summer till I got accepted to the christian school:HOLY FAMILY HIGH SCHOOL. I found lookism that summer and my obsession started. Once school started my dad started giving me weed again and on the second week I had a mental breakdown. I refused to go and had a walk with my mom and she admitted she secretly knew I had always been autistic ands abused. I go to psych next week and they prescribe prozac and it makes me literally go insane. I slit my wrists and go to the mental hospital. I come back out and then go to My first private high school:LEGACY HIGH SCHOOl. I only go for about 2 weeks before my life would be done forever. I quit because I am worried my development would be stunted from not getting enough sleep. Hell commences, bipolar diagnosis, juvie stint, Sleeping in all day smoking weed all day. Until one big acid trip in December where everryhitrn fell about forever on four tabs of acid. I then go to military school and we leave Denver. I leave military school in march and now im here. I am sitting at home with just my dad, we barely speak, when we do we fight, I rot at home and known nothing and no one. I feel like my life has already ended. I am not going to hurt anyone or myself but it is a mental torture to me everyday and I don't know why my life is like this. I have no ill feeling towards anyone on the froumn and I am done shitposting its all over now. I will post once and a while about stuff, but ima be on other sites like reddit now mostly. Thanks for the users that related to me
@thecel @NordicIranian @xdxdxnice1 @benchortable @Introvertednarc @itsOVER @Copemaxxing @CopeKilla @Daw @Lev Peshkov @mentalcelextreme @TRUE_CEL @Short Ugly and Brown @Zygos4Life @Rope2647
@inceletto
As many of you know I am the result of an interracial marriage. My parents met on a dating site for Indian grooms to get married, and my mom was on a lot of meds before I was born, both my parents and mental health issues. once they married they moved around the country when I was born, my mom always being isolated and then we settled in Atlanta when I was 4. I was a mixed half white half Indian kid going to a small al white private school. My parents would always fight, I was always so mean to my mom I was a disgusting monster. I was extremely isolated as a kid only went over to someone else's house 6 times till the age of 10. I had no life no friends, my parents would not let me, I grew up in a small isolated neighborhood. My teachers always wanted to get me tested because they knew I was not normal then. My old life almost seems like another reality. I feel like I have probably the craziest weirdest life you can imagine. At age 10 I moved to this bigger private school once I hit puberty. I started to exhibit all the signs of autism, I would hyperfixate on my development suffering meltdowns all the time about my growth being stunted as early as 10. I was always an outcast, always picked last in gym class, was never passed to in gym class, was just left behind by everybody. I was always really short as my eating patterns were always restricted tho just chicken and fries and other meat and junk food. I would constantly ask to height compare 24/7 with the other kids.
I always struggled with simple organization things such as taking showers, getting dressed tucking in my uniform and so on. I would have nightmares and freak out everyday at home crying for hours. around 11 is when I became obsessed with germs and chemicals, I would freak out and become aggressive with my mom over chemicals which obviously sent normal and I would have to repeat certain phrases certain amount of times before I felt at peace, I remember everyday after school I would get in the car and show my mom. how to properly cover her cough as I was afraid of getting sick and I would get aggressive is she even coughed near me. She denies and my dad does too seeing any signs of this autism In me. At 12 I was still in the same school but moved to the main campus so my bus ride was 35 miles everyday. This is when I really fell apart, I could not function my locker my binder, my everything was just a mess and falling apart, and I was so scared of not sleeping and my development being stunted I slept in my dads bed. my mom would often accuse him of molesting me. I would beg to go to public school as I couldn't handle it. My math teacher begged my dad to get me tested for autism but he declined it didn't matter to him. He didn't want a son with autism. My parents decided I could go to public school but not in Atlanta as it was too dangerous I guess. So we decided to move to san Ramon California. We moved right before my 13th birthday. It was so nice the neighborhood was so bug and the house was too expensive to afford we were renting but it still was too much. I was in a public school called:Iron horse middle School. The first half of the year I had a few friends, basically just outcasts like me I would come home and game or just watch Netflix life ws good. Then the second half of the year I started watching breaking bad and it influenced me to do drugs. I was so autistic every time I was caught and would end up in the ER or get in trouble. Then after a long fight my dad stabbed himself in front of me. When he got out of the mental hospital he made me and my mom live in Extended stay America. I would hit my mom as a joke and I was a piece of crap, I made the thread about the time I ran away from school and they had a manhunt for me. I never really had a gf it was a LARP it was like 2 weeks long and we never even kissed. I then got sent away to the programs: REDCLIFF ASCENT, ARIVACA BOYS RANCH, DIAMOND RANCH ACADEMY. When I cam e out we were back in Atlanta I was extremely isolated no phone no computer, locked in a room for 3 months. I had a breakdown and slit my wrists then my dad enrolled me in RIVERSIDE MILITARY ACADEMY. It was 40 miles from where I lived so we would drive 80 miles everyday and sometimes live in VRBOs. I was bullied badly and my dad started givibhg me vapes to sell and giv8ng me alcohol to bring to school at 14. At the end of the year he gave me two ounces of weed for two weeks while my mom was away and let me smoke it in my room all day long. I knew no one and had no one, no one lived near me or knew me, I talked to no one. I would have delusions and hallucinations from my isolation and drug abuse, and I would take dxm smoke weed and be high for days. Halfway through the summer I told my mom all the stuff my dad idd to me while in my bed, and she said she had a gut feeling it was going on all along. But my mom wanted my dads money and I had to get into this boarding school or else I would be sent away again. I freaked out and kicked my mom and she left me in the car and got charged with child abandonment so she left for ohio.I was with my dad and all alone and me and him would smoke weed all day all night together, I would never leave the house and he was helping me sell vapors to kids. He said just go to the boarding school 5 days a week and go to therapy and lie to them and you can smoke weed with me on the weekend. I started at he boarding school and quickly became disliked I was a mess from all the shit I gone through. I would come home on the weekend sleep all day no one number or contacts in my phone at all. Around November 2018 my mom came back to visit me and I did 300mg dcm in the movie theater and I forgot about literally everything it was ht bets thing ever. I was os sad when my mom left and I was trapped back at this School. My autism made me super hypersexual and abnormal. around December my mom comes back and my dad and mom fight like crazy. He kicked us out and were living in VRBOs till April even in a few illegal VRBOs my mom was the only thing keeping me alive, and she admitted how abnormal my upbringing had been but she's gone. I got kicked out of the private school for doing drugs in April and sat at home abusing my adder all all day going on 5 hour porn binges. My mom concinces my dad to move one last time to Denver and he agrees but I have to go to a private school, or else ill be sent to programs till I am 18. I amm so worried and we head to Denver leaving Atlanta behind. We live in hotels and VRBOs all summer till I got accepted to the christian school:HOLY FAMILY HIGH SCHOOL. I found lookism that summer and my obsession started. Once school started my dad started giving me weed again and on the second week I had a mental breakdown. I refused to go and had a walk with my mom and she admitted she secretly knew I had always been autistic ands abused. I go to psych next week and they prescribe prozac and it makes me literally go insane. I slit my wrists and go to the mental hospital. I come back out and then go to My first private high school:LEGACY HIGH SCHOOl. I only go for about 2 weeks before my life would be done forever. I quit because I am worried my development would be stunted from not getting enough sleep. Hell commences, bipolar diagnosis, juvie stint, Sleeping in all day smoking weed all day. Until one big acid trip in December where everryhitrn fell about forever on four tabs of acid. I then go to military school and we leave Denver. I leave military school in march and now im here. I am sitting at home with just my dad, we barely speak, when we do we fight, I rot at home and known nothing and no one. I feel like my life has already ended. I am not going to hurt anyone or myself but it is a mental torture to me everyday and I don't know why my life is like this. I have no ill feeling towards anyone on the froumn and I am done shitposting its all over now. I will post once and a while about stuff, but ima be on other sites like reddit now mostly. Thanks for the users that related to me
@thecel @NordicIranian @xdxdxnice1 @benchortable @Introvertednarc @itsOVER @Copemaxxing @CopeKilla @Daw @Lev Peshkov @mentalcelextreme @TRUE_CEL @Short Ugly and Brown @Zygos4Life @Rope2647
@inceletto
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