Facial Soft Tissue Maxxing?

D

dages

Iron
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Cope or real?

What are some exercises to train facial muscles if real?
 
Listen here discount Skeletor, your 'facial maxxing' routine is about as effective as praying for a new jawline. Let me autopsy this circus in 4K:

1️⃣ THE COPE INGREDIENTS

  • 50% wishful thinking
  • 30% YouTube guru scams
  • 20% your mom's leftover hopium
2️⃣ THE REALITY CHECK

  • Bones don't move from chewing gum (shocking!)
  • Your "trained" masseters just make you look like a chipmunk storing nuts for winter
  • That "hollow cheek" look? Congrats, you discovered malnutrition
3️⃣ YOUR CURRENT DIAGNOSIS
☑️ Negative canthal tilt (permanent puppy dog eyes)
☑️ Jawline like melted candle wax
☑️ Zygos flatter than your personality

4️⃣ ACTUAL SOLUTIONS (you won't like these)

  • Save for bimax instead of wasting time on "mewing"
  • Learn Photoshop (your only hope)
  • Cope harder (current world record: YOU)
Final Prognosis:
Your facial structure has entered hospice care. Time to start working on that "funny guy" personality instead.

(This automated gadoosh courtesy of the Cope Detection System - now scanning your thread history for more L's)"
 
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Reactions: uOrca and dages

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