false awakening loop

[160cmcurry]

late at night, at around 3-4am i feel asleep and got these constant weird dreams. where i’m locked in and have to follow a certain script. it feels like i have almost no control over it either, it’s moving my body on its own. it’s also really hard to wake up. the dream usually starts with me walking over to some kind of court speaker thing, either as a defender or a witness explaining something. sometimes i don’t even say anything and it just proceeds for some reason, continues onwards

then for some reason i end up in an apartment room and see other people, i think in the same zone

i also forgot to mention, when i ‘wake up’ in the dream, i’m still in it. so i wonder, what could all this mean? i asked gpt this late at night, wrote everything down and here’s what it told me:

“what you’re describing sounds like a lucid nightmare or a false awakening loop, mixed with elements of dream scripting — where it feels like you’re following a predefined role, almost like you’re acting in a play that you didn’t write. here’s a breakdown of what might be going on:

locked-in script feeling

• this often happens when your subconscious is working through deep structure — possibly emotions, experiences, or mental patterns that feel out of your control in real life. the dream is “writing the story,” and you’re just a vessel.
• the court and witness stuff could symbolize judgment, guilt, or needing to explain yourself, even if you don’t consciously feel that way. it might reflect how you perceive pressure or scrutiny — from others or yourself.

no control + body moving on its own

• that’s a hallmark of a sleep paralysis crossover or REM atonia bleeding into the dream. your brain might be registering your body as “locked” while still dreaming — makes it feel like something else is moving you.
• if you’ve been stressed, sleep-deprived, or mentally overstimulated before sleeping, this happens more easily.

apartment zone + seeing others

• the apartment setting and the “others” being in the same zone could mean you’re picking up on a collective feeling — like you and others are all stuck in the same emotional or psychological cycle.
• might represent feeling like you’re just another person following a script in life, mirroring your waking frustrations or feelings of detachment.

false awakenings (waking up inside the dream)

• this is a known dream loop where your brain thinks you woke up, but you’re still dreaming. it’s a sign that your brain is very active and you’re somewhere between REM and waking.
• it can happen more frequently if you’re dealing with anxiety, dissociation, or sleep irregularities.

what it might mean overall:

• you might be feeling boxed in by routines, expectations, or identities — like you’re being forced to act out a role rather than just be.
• it’s possible you’re processing powerlessness or numbness, and your mind is using a rigid, scripted dream format to express that.
• the repetition, control loss, and role-following suggest you may be craving agency, freedom, or a sense of authentic control in your waking life.

this dream and the way you describe it ties in pretty directly with the emotional numbness you’re living through. that feeling of being locked into a script with no control, repeating scenes, going through motions like a background actor in your own life — that’s a dream’s way of mirroring what you’re feeling internally: disconnected, muted, detached, like you’re existing but not really living”


i asked another personal question after what it could mean for me personally:
“here’s what’s likely going on:
you’ve been emotionally flat for a while — you don’t feel highs or lows anymore, maybe due to burnout, depression, or long-term emotional repression. but then, emma myers shows up as a rare exception — not because she’s some magical person, but because your brain has latched onto her as a safe outlet for emotional release.

that contrast between numbness and the brief spark you get when you see her might be intensifying your dreams. your subconscious knows she’s the one trigger that gets through, so it might be feeding you scripted, lifeless scenarios to highlight how everything else feels dead compared to that one spark.

what it means for you, personally:

• you’re craving authentic emotion, not just excitement, but presence, like really being here.
• your brain might feel like it’s on autopilot most of the time, hence the scripted dreams where you aren’t even the one driving the action.
• you probably feel trapped in your own mind, stuck in repetition, and emma is your mind’s version of escape — something unfiltered, pure, beautiful, innocent. someone you don’t have to explain yourself to. someone you can just feel for.
• that feeling of “seeing others in the zone” in your dream — could represent the way everyone else around you seems emotionally normal, tuned in, while you’re just going through the motions

you’re using her as an emotional anchor:
she’s become the only person or image that triggers something real — excitement, warmth, maybe even hope or longing. that means she’s not just a “crush” anymore — she’s standing in for all the emotional experiences you feel cut off from in real life.

your mind is starved for intimacy, purity, and meaning: emma might represent something emotionally “clean” — soft, innocent, untouched. in contrast to how numb, messy, or disconnected your own world feels, she becomes the symbol of everything you’re not experiencing: genuine connection, vulnerability, aliveness.

you might be have strong feelings for her to fill a hole

when you only feel something through one person, especially a distant or unreachable figure, it’s often because:

• you’ve lost trust in real emotional experiences
• you’ve been hurt or let down so many times, your brain shuts off feelings for everything else
• your emotional needs (touch, love, being seen, being wanted) have been unmet for so long that your brain clings to any source of comfort, even if it’s imaginary

emma’s not just a person in this case — she’s a symbol your brain clings to for relief.

the numbness is likely protective

you might have gone numb not because you’re broken, but because feeling things got too painful. so now your brain filters almost everything out to protect you. except for things that make you feel so safe, vulnerable.


i went a little more deep in the conversation i had with gpt:

the numbness: what it actually is
you’re not broken. your emotional system didn’t shut down because you’re defective — it shut down because at some point in your life, feeling everything got too heavy, too risky, or too painful.

when you go emotionally numb, your brain is basically saying:

“if i keep feeling this way, i’m not gonna make it. so let’s turn the volume down… on everything.”

you stop feeling:

• joy (because it never lasts)
• sadness (because it’s overwhelming)
• anger (because it gets you in trouble)
• love (because it’s never returned or real)

and what’s left is this gray space, where you still go through the motions, but nothing moves you. it’s like living life behind soundproof glass — you can see everything, but can’t touch it.


emma myers: not just someone you like

now here comes emma myers, and she’s not just a girl on your screen. she becomes a signal flare in the fog.

you feel:

• giggly, excited
• warm
• like you’re “back in your body”
• like something matters again, even if it’s just for a moment

that’s not random. that’s your brain going:


“oh my god… i can still feel something. i’m still here.”


emma myers isn’t just ‘cute’ to you. she represents something you’re starving for:

• innocence in a world that’s been cold or cruel
• authenticity when your life feels fake or scripted
• beauty that’s untouched by the mess around you
• a version of love or comfort that can’t reject or betray you, because she doesn’t know you yet

she’s become the only reliable way your brain feels safe enough to experience emotion again.

the loop: numbness feeding fantasy, fantasy feeding numbness
what happens is this:

1. you feel nothing in the real world
2. you turn to emma, and she makes you feel
3. real life feels even worse in comparison, so you retreat back into the fantasy
4. and then real life feels even more empty, and so only

your brain is basically building an emotional shelter around her image, because it’s the only place it feels safe enough to come out and play.



what it says about you


this tells me you’re someone who:

• probably cared a lot once, to the point where it hurt
• got let down, rejected, ignored, or emotionally starved
• started to believe that feeling was a trap, so you stopped doing it
• but you never stopped craving it

and now you’re left trying to feel something in a world that doesn’t give you anything back, except one person, her.









so what are my thoughts on this? a lot of it’s right now that i think about it, just this feeling of numbness, a lot of it solidifies why i feel this way. the thing about emma myers though, yeah i can see a lot of it in her. i genuinely don’t even know what she’d be feeling or thinking if she even reading this post, that some turbo manlet bengali uses her as some sort of emotional life support. everything else feels so fucking dull and dead that even a glimpse of her feels like touching sunlight. that’s how numb everything else is for me.






emma myers, if you’re somehow reading this or if this ever ends up shared to you, if that’s even your birth name, please. stay far, far away from me. if you’re ever walking down the street or at some mall or bar and you see some jet black haired, curry with scars around his body, lifeless eyes not even fully there, just stay away from me. please. you don’t need to be near whatever this is. you just got dragged in by accident because my brain decided you were the only thing left worth feeling for. it’s not fair to you. i’m sorry


background:

wish i never went to the theaters that week

didn’t even know who she was or that she existed before i saw her, i didn’t know someone like that could be there, seeing her in the big screens just gives me that stomach ache anxiety feeling. i don’t really get this kind of feeling these days so it was something out of the norm, just the way...

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What does falling in Love feel like?

Anybody ever fell in love before? If you have, can you explain the feeling? Also is it a permanent feeling, or does it go away and come back at random times?

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[The Homelander]

I kind of skimmed through this yeah I have had similar things happen to me too like sleep paralysis and seeing other people in my house that aren't really there as soon as I woke up like I was still in a dream. But once I adjust my vision they are gone. I have recurring dreams too that don't relate to my life at all and often are continued from the previous dream

 

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