Getting into a social circle is harder than getting girls

[Alienmaxxer]

Because everyone in the social circle already knows each other well, so you will always be an outside or non-essential member when you join one.

Also, getting into a social circle relies on you knowing a person in it well enough that they introduce you. But then you will always be known as x's friend.

Getting into the social circle of a girl you're dating is dumb because then as soon as you stop seeing each other you lose your whole social life.

In order to become good friends with someone, you have to somehow be forced to spend a lot of time with each other. But this only holds for school and work, and even in these contexts, you have to "escalate" properly like some gay PUA. And you better pray that you are normie enough that one of the few people you're forced to interact with on a daily basis is similar to you. Otherwise, you will have no way of making friends (except through friends you already hang out with).

The last possibility is that you make a social circle from scratch, which requires that you're normie enough that there are over three people who you are forced to interact with that are similar enough to you.

I've been thinking, with good looks, how would you get into a social circle from zero friends if you aren't working or not a normie? You can't realistically make friends from solo clubbing, dating a girl won't do anything, meetups.com type websites are filled with retired old people or divorced moms, it's not socially acceptable to approach groups of people to try and make friends... what the fuck are you supposed to do?

This is my only idea: you date a girl, have her introduce you to her friends, get close with one of the friends (i have no idea how), and have THAT friend introduce you to a new social circle. This way, you don't have to keep dating the girl and you can maintain a social life. But even then, you are still a "new add" to an established social circle, and you're still just x's friend (and we don't even know how to become their friend in the first place).

Cope replies below:
"Join a club!" school clubs are for people in school. If you mean clubs outside of school, either they are niche and already well-connected friend group (making you an awkward unwanted outsider), or filled with retired old people (muh cooking club).
"Just go out bro" vague nonsense that doesn't say where to go or what to do
"Just do sports bro" tried it, these people already have known each other for years. You are an awkward outsider who doesn't belong while everyone is making inside jokes.
"Just go to church bro" yeah I'll sit beside the two retired grannies and get up early to sing songs every weekend for the chance somehow ill make a friend in something I don't even believe in.
"Just put yourself out there" meaningless nonsense. Even more vague than just go out bro.
"Just talk to old friends" they/ive moved away already. I'm not looking for a penpal, personally.
"Just go to the bar" alone? and do what, sit there while sipping on a drink that tastes like poison and makes you retarded, all while being friendcucked by normies having fun, and try to approach groups of people who TOTALLY won't be counting down the seconds until I leave them alone.
"Just go to an event" yeah not taboo at all to go to those alone. You totally wont feel like a depressed cuck when dancing by yourself, hoping you can somehow make a friend over the blaring music.

 

[ilovearcherqueen]

shut up no one cares. stop coping and get a life, not everything is looks. you need balls some times to make small talk and charisma

keep coping and keep complaining

 

[Alienmaxxer]

not everything is looks.

Nigga my post is literally agreeing with you, where is the cope?

make small talk

So you're going to become great friends with somebody... through small talk while waiting in line at mcdonalds?

Are you retarded?

 

[bluebandz]

dnr your coping. I have the perfect thread for this coming from someone who was statusmaxxed, went to being a nobody and a loser into being statusmaxxed again. Lmk if you want the link to my thread i actually think it’s very helpful

 

[ryanlyin]

Because everyone in the social circle already knows each other well, so you will always be an outside or non-essential member when you join one.

Also, getting into a social circle relies on you knowing a person in it well enough that they introduce you. But then you will always be known as x's friend.

Getting into the social circle of a girl you're dating is dumb because then as soon as you stop seeing each other you lose your whole social life.

In order to become good friends with someone, you have to somehow be forced to spend a lot of time with each other. But this only holds for school and work, and even in these contexts, you have to "escalate" properly like some gay PUA. And you better pray that you are normie enough that one of the few people you're forced to interact with on a daily basis is similar to you. Otherwise, you will have no way of making friends (except through friends you already hang out with).

The last possibility is that you make a social circle from scratch, which requires that you're normie enough that there are over three people who you are forced to interact with that are similar enough to you.

I've been thinking, with good looks, how would you get into a social circle from zero friends if you aren't working or not a normie? You can't realistically make friends from solo clubbing, dating a girl won't do anything, meetups.com type websites are filled with retired old people or divorced moms, it's not socially acceptable to approach groups of people to try and make friends... what the fuck are you supposed to do?

This is my only idea: you date a girl, have her introduce you to her friends, get close with one of the friends (i have no idea how), and have THAT friend introduce you to a new social circle. This way, you don't have to keep dating the girl and you can maintain a social life. But even then, you are still a "new add" to an established social circle, and you're still just x's friend (and we don't even know how to become their friend in the first place).

Cope replies below:
"Join a club!" school clubs are for people in school. If you mean clubs outside of school, either they are niche and already well-connected friend group (making you an awkward unwanted outsider), or filled with retired old people (muh cooking club).
"Just go out bro" vague nonsense that doesn't say where to go or what to do
"Just do sports bro" tried it, these people already have known each other for years. You are an awkward outsider who doesn't belong while everyone is making inside jokes.
"Just go to church bro" yeah I'll sit beside the two retired grannies and get up early to sing songs every weekend for the chance somehow ill make a friend in something I don't even believe in.
"Just put yourself out there" meaningless nonsense. Even more vague than just go out bro.
"Just talk to old friends" they/ive moved away already. I'm not looking for a penpal, personally.
"Just go to the bar" alone? and do what, sit there while sipping on a drink that tastes like poison and makes you retarded, all while being friendcucked by normies having fun, and try to approach groups of people who TOTALLY won't be counting down the seconds until I leave them alone.
"Just go to an event" yeah not taboo at all to go to those alone. You totally wont feel like a depressed cuck when dancing by yourself, hoping you can somehow make a friend over the blaring music.

Do you think a group of guys comes together and just decides they are going to be a friend group and no one is allowed to leave or join? Everyone met eachother somehow most probably solo 1 on 1. Just go to a club or bar after taking something to lower your inhib and socialize with people.

 

[ilovearcherqueen]

Nigga my post is literally agreeing with you, where is the cope?

my bad nigga, i skimmed over it. thought you were complaining

So you're going to become great friends with somebody... through small talk while waiting in line at mcdonalds?

no, not mcdonals retard. someone you work with or see almost every day. then slowly build that up. thats lke how 90 percent of friendships are made

Are you retarded?

maybe

 

[Timelessbrah]

Its a recurrent problem indeed and not an easy one to solve, because it evolves a lot variables.

I want to keep short, otherwise I could write a thread as a response to your post and I don't want that.

I don't know your age, race, socioeconomic group, place of birth, city demographics, country, etc... but as always we need to play smart and putting ourselves in markets where we are valued. In school and university its easy because the markets is offered in a silver plate, you just need to interact with it and things come almost naturally.

However if you are not in any social group (which by your post OP I believe that's the case), things become much harder because you have no circumstantial basis to be able to extend connections.

Best course of action as always is too improve our looks, create value for yourself by doing things and not being afraid to tell people you do in fact need friends.

Also, yes going out alone is still an option.

But to summarize it, you need to have the value, the luck and circumstance to make it happen.

I recently moved to another country has part of work and so I do understand your struggle, and in said country English is not the main language (so imagine the struggle I have).

I know I said a lot of clichés, but bear with me.

What I'm saying is, you are not alone.

If you want you can send me a private message and we'll talk better.

 

[Alienmaxxer]

someone you work with or see almost every day. then slowly build that up. thats lke how 90 percent of friendships are made

I literally said exactly this in the thread.

Holy shit does no one actually read the post

"In order to become good friends with someone, you have to somehow be forced to spend a lot of time with each other. But this only holds for school and work, and even in these contexts, you have to "escalate" properly like some gay PUA. And you better pray that you are normie enough that one of the few people you're forced to interact with on a daily basis is similar to you. Otherwise, you will have no way of making friends (except through friends you already hang out with)."

"I've been thinking, with good looks, how would you get into a social circle from zero friends if you aren't working or not a normie? "

Do you think a group of guys comes together and just decides they are going to be a friend group and no one is allowed to leave or join?

... no? Where the fuck would you have gathered such a retarded opinion from? I expained how in certain situations joining would be very hard.

Do people here have retard tier reading comprehension?

And then you say go to a bar solo... I literally addressed this in the post:
" "Just go to the bar" alone? and do what, sit there while sipping on a drink that tastes like poison and makes you retarded, all while being friendcucked by normies having fun, and try to approach groups of people who TOTALLY won't be counting down the seconds until I leave them alone."

dnr your coping

Do people here even know the meaning of the word cope? IT doesn't just mean you disagree with what's being said, it has to do with dealing with negative emotions through lying to yourself. How would what I said at all be soothing to me? It's the complete opposite retard, it's the cold hard reality I'm forced to face and have to think of how to get around.

I gave many, many arguments above, and not one was responded to. You just said "trust me bro I'm actually right" and "you're coping"

 

[bluebandz]

Your coping my trying to tell yourself your not the issue. I said you are wrong and backed myself up by telling you my background. I also offered to give you a thread to which you didn’t respond. You don’t want to get out of this situation, you just want to make it seem acceptable for you to be a loser and make it sound like it’s not your fault.

I literally said exactly this in the thread.

Holy shit does no one actually read the post

"In order to become good friends with someone, you have to somehow be forced to spend a lot of time with each other. But this only holds for school and work, and even in these contexts, you have to "escalate" properly like some gay PUA. And you better pray that you are normie enough that one of the few people you're forced to interact with on a daily basis is similar to you. Otherwise, you will have no way of making friends (except through friends you already hang out with)."

"I've been thinking, with good looks, how would you get into a social circle from zero friends if you aren't working or not a normie? "


... no? Where the fuck would you have gathered such a retarded opinion from? I expained how in certain situations joining would be very hard.

Do people here have retard tier reading comprehension?

And then you say go to a bar solo... I literally addressed this in the post:
" "Just go to the bar" alone? and do what, sit there while sipping on a drink that tastes like poison and makes you retarded, all while being friendcucked by normies having fun, and try to approach groups of people who TOTALLY won't be counting down the seconds until I leave them alone."

Do people here even know the meaning of the word cope? IT doesn't just mean you disagree with what's being said, it has to do with dealing with negative emotions through lying to yourself. How would what I said at all be soothing to me? It's the complete opposite retard, it's the cold hard reality I'm forced to face and have to think of how to get around.

I gave many, many arguments above, and not one was responded to. You just said "trust me bro I'm actually right" and "you're coping"

 

[Alienmaxxer]

Best course of action as always is too improve our looks, create value for yourself by doing things and not being afraid to tell people you do in fact need friends.

This is such bad advice man, I'm sorry and it seems like you read the post more than the other people here.

Imagine going up to a stranger and saying you need friends... that is so socially inappropriate and autistic I don't even know where to begin. Maybe if you are in kindergarten that strategy would work.

It reminds me of normies who tell you to just go up to people and say hi. Imagine if you did that, just without context went up to a stranger and said hi. It is completely socially retarded.

 

[Alienmaxxer]

backed myself up by telling you my background.

Meaningless words. You have to give actual arguments, not anecdotes.

I also offered to give you a thread to which you didn’t respond.

Nigga you havent made a thread.

You don’t want to get out of this situation

Yeah, that's why I made a thread asking for advice. You complete mouthbreathing retard.

make it sound like it’s not your fault.

Then what should I do retard? I am taking full responsibility asking what exactly I should do, THAT IS THE TOPIC OF THE THREAD

Holy shit, the IQ on display today is staggering.

 

[bluebandz]

Meaningless words. You have to give actual arguments, not anecdotes.

Nigga you havent made a thread.

Yeah, that's why I made a thread asking for advice. You complete mouthbreathing retard.

Then what should I do retard? I am taking full responsibility asking what exactly I should do, THAT IS THE TOPIC OF THE THREAD

Holy shit, the IQ on display today is staggering.

I have made a thread u have to be fucking kidding me
i dnrd your shit because quite frankly it’s not worth my time i already wrote a thread on this. I told you i can give you the link. https://looksmax.org/threads/bluebandz-ultimate-statusmaxxing-guide-you-dont-need-drugs.2157649/
You have to take responsibility.

 

[Alienmaxxer]

i dnrd your shit because quite frankly it’s not worth my time i already wrote a thread on this

So lets get this straight...

you are currently arguing against me without even knowing what I said or what my opinions are, saying I'm coping etc. without even reading a word...

Is it like recess time or something during school in your country? How low IQ can someone be?

That being said, I'll read your thread to see if there is anything of value

 

[Timelessbrah]

This is such bad advice man, I'm sorry and it seems like you read the post more than the other people here.

Imagine going up to a stranger and saying you need friends... that is so socially inappropriate and autistic I don't even know where to begin. Maybe if you are in kindergarten that strategy would work.

It reminds me of normies who tell you to just go up to people and say hi. Imagine if you did that, just without context went up to a stranger and said hi. It is completely socially retarded.

Ofc I read your whole post, I had the same problems in the past, I know perfectly what you are talking about. Don't forget that behind all the anonymity of the internet there is simply a guy like you, a simple guy who used to be an ignorant kid.

That's the thing, you need context to be able to say that and its already implicit that's not the first thing you say.

It is what I said, create value for yourself in terms of looks and then get a compatible lifestyle.

However all of this is still very dependent on luck, deep down you just need to be close to the opportunities and give reasons to the people outside to take you in.

I don't know your specific circumstances, but I can at least explain mine by private message.

I did everything you can imagine, when I say everything, is EVERYTHING.

if you actually want to learn something I'm here.

There are still people willing to help with what they can.

Well, I gotta go sleep, some people actually work here. The channel is open.

 

[Alienmaxxer]

I have made a thread u have to be fucking kidding me
i dnrd your shit because quite frankly it’s not worth my time i already wrote a thread on this. I told you i can give you the link. https://looksmax.org/threads/bluebandz-ultimate-statusmaxxing-guide-you-dont-need-drugs.2157649/
You have to take responsibility.

From your own fucking thread: "This thread is also assuming you’re in HS or even MS. This might even apply in college but probably not. This shit will definently not work outside of that."

Wow. Sheer retardation. My thread is talking about working-age people and explicitly mentions school as an easier place to make friends in the first paragraph.

You literally admit in my context it will "definently not work"

middle school are you fucking kidding me

 

[Alienmaxxer]

Ofc I read your whole post, I had the same problems in the past, I know perfectly what you are talking about. Don't forget that behind all the anonymity of the internet there is simply a guy like you, a simple guy who used to be an ignorant kid.

That's the thing, you need context to be able to say that and its already implicit that's not the first thing you say.

It is what I said, create value for yourself in terms of looks and then get a compatible lifestyle.

However all of this is still very dependent on luck, deep down you just need to be close to the opportunities and give reasons to the people outside to take you in.

I don't know your specific circumstances, but I can at least explain mine by private message.

I did everything you can imagine, when I say everything, is EVERYTHING.

if you actually want to learn something I'm here.

There are still people willing to help with what they can.

Well, I gotta go sleep, some people actually work here. The channel is open.

I'm already looksmaxxed, yeah. I might dm, though I suppose if you had a secret technique you would have said it already.

The problem is SO MUCH of the advice you get is from NT normies who can effortlessly socialize and have a wide range of friends already. Since they act by intuition, they have no idea what they're doing right so their advice sucks, like "go up and say hi." They also can't empathize with having no friends or being ND so they don't understand how limited you are.

I agree you need opportunities, that much is obvious. It's where to find them that's the tough part, and like you said it might just come down to luck which I hate. I want something more certain, there has to be a way.

The best book I have found on the topic is "the secret science of making friends" which gives explicit steps on how to start a conversation, what the goals and purposes are, etc. that shreds to ribbons most normie advice along the way, like "go up and say hi."

And excuse me for sounding frustrated, but when people come into a thread arguing without reading a word of it, it spikes my cortisol.

 

[MagicalWaves]

Because everyone in the social circle already knows each other well, so you will always be an outside or non-essential member when you join one.

Also, getting into a social circle relies on you knowing a person in it well enough that they introduce you. But then you will always be known as x's friend.

Getting into the social circle of a girl you're dating is dumb because then as soon as you stop seeing each other you lose your whole social life.

In order to become good friends with someone, you have to somehow be forced to spend a lot of time with each other. But this only holds for school and work, and even in these contexts, you have to "escalate" properly like some gay PUA. And you better pray that you are normie enough that one of the few people you're forced to interact with on a daily basis is similar to you. Otherwise, you will have no way of making friends (except through friends you already hang out with).

The last possibility is that you make a social circle from scratch, which requires that you're normie enough that there are over three people who you are forced to interact with that are similar enough to you.

I've been thinking, with good looks, how would you get into a social circle from zero friends if you aren't working or not a normie? You can't realistically make friends from solo clubbing, dating a girl won't do anything, meetups.com type websites are filled with retired old people or divorced moms, it's not socially acceptable to approach groups of people to try and make friends... what the fuck are you supposed to do?

This is my only idea: you date a girl, have her introduce you to her friends, get close with one of the friends (i have no idea how), and have THAT friend introduce you to a new social circle. This way, you don't have to keep dating the girl and you can maintain a social life. But even then, you are still a "new add" to an established social circle, and you're still just x's friend (and we don't even know how to become their friend in the first place).

Cope replies below:
"Join a club!" school clubs are for people in school. If you mean clubs outside of school, either they are niche and already well-connected friend group (making you an awkward unwanted outsider), or filled with retired old people (muh cooking club).
"Just go out bro" vague nonsense that doesn't say where to go or what to do
"Just do sports bro" tried it, these people already have known each other for years. You are an awkward outsider who doesn't belong while everyone is making inside jokes.
"Just go to church bro" yeah I'll sit beside the two retired grannies and get up early to sing songs every weekend for the chance somehow ill make a friend in something I don't even believe in.
"Just put yourself out there" meaningless nonsense. Even more vague than just go out bro.
"Just talk to old friends" they/ive moved away already. I'm not looking for a penpal, personally.
"Just go to the bar" alone? and do what, sit there while sipping on a drink that tastes like poison and makes you retarded, all while being friendcucked by normies having fun, and try to approach groups of people who TOTALLY won't be counting down the seconds until I leave them alone.
"Just go to an event" yeah not taboo at all to go to those alone. You totally wont feel like a depressed cuck when dancing by yourself, hoping you can somehow make a friend over the blaring music.

csnt lie im not reading this shit it cpuld chsnge my life probably but i still wont read it lol way to long

tldr next time my nigga ahaha

 

[Alienmaxxer]

tldr next time my nigga ahaha

Yeah the thread is a lost cause cuz nobody is reading ts

 

[Timelessbrah]

I'm already looksmaxxed, yeah. I might dm, though I suppose if you had a secret technique you would have said it already.

The problem is SO MUCH of the advice you get is from NT normies who can effortlessly socialize and have a wide range of friends already. Since they act by intuition, they have no idea what they're doing right so their advice sucks, like "go up and say hi." They also can't empathize with having no friends or being ND so they don't understand how limited you are.

I agree you need opportunities, that much is obvious. It's where to find them that's the tough part, and like you said it might just come down to luck which I hate. I want something more certain, there has to be a way.

The best book I have found on the topic is "the secret science of making friends" which gives explicit steps on how to start a conversation, what the goals and purposes are, etc. that shreds to ribbons most normie advice along the way, like "go up and say hi."

And excuse me for sounding frustrated, but when people come into a thread arguing without reading a word of it, it spikes my cortisol.

Are you really looksmaxed? Did you actually do surgery? Unless you have gone under the knife you have no idea what you need to sacrifice to make it happen.

Why do you think I ask this ?

Also, first point, yes I agree that most normies have zero empathy to understand other positions, but you are wrong in a point, which is that that act by intuition. They don't, they act by extension, is completely different. Extension in the sense that they carried by their already formed group and so when they socialize with other groups or people they have a motif to talk to them, they have a reason, which is (in a convo): "you are friend with X and since I also know X we can talk and you can present me to Y or Z friend of yours". That's why it is easy when you already have friends.

Second point, luck is luck but you need to put yourself in positions that favor it. AKA try to find a way to enter a market (better said than done, but its the best I can do for now). What's your age? Are you in university? I ask this because its fundamental to know.

Third point, I never read that book, didn't even knew it existed, so I'm inclined to shit on it because its has no Black pill component. You say the book mentions how to start a conversation, etc ... Well, you need to have the opportunity to even start the convo, so either way you need to be inside a market where things can happen.

Third, I understand your frustration, don't worry.

 

[ghost!]

i agree 100 percent this is true

getting girls to a certain extent is not that hard but getting a group of friend/social circle that u fw and they fw u is def hella hard

 

[ICXCLuvr]

How badly do you even want friends?

 

[Saint.]

Cope replies below:
"Join a club!" school clubs are for people in school. If you mean clubs outside of school, either they are niche and already well-connected friend group (making you an awkward unwanted outsider), or filled with retired old people (muh cooking club).
"Just go out bro" vague nonsense that doesn't say where to go or what to do
"Just do sports bro" tried it, these people already have known each other for years. You are an awkward outsider who doesn't belong while everyone is making inside jokes.
"Just go to church bro" yeah I'll sit beside the two retired grannies and get up early to sing songs every weekend for the chance somehow ill make a friend in something I don't even believe in.
"Just put yourself out there" meaningless nonsense. Even more vague than just go out bro.
"Just talk to old friends" they/ive moved away already. I'm not looking for a penpal, personally.
"Just go to the bar" alone? and do what, sit there while sipping on a drink that tastes like poison and makes you retarded, all while being friendcucked by normies having fun, and try to approach groups of people who TOTALLY won't be counting down the seconds until I leave them alone.
"Just go to an event" yeah not taboo at all to go to those alone. You totally wont feel like a depressed cuck when dancing by yourself, hoping you can somehow make a friend over the blaring music.

I agree with some of your "Cope replies" but some, not so much.
I think it really comes down to increasing your luck surface area, and by "luck" in this context, i mean the ability to click with someone and share common interests.

i agree that going to the club by yourself is pretty useless, unless you're already kinda good looking, and the other things you mentioned about 'putting yourself out there' and talking to old friends are cope.
However you're being a bit lazy with some of the options like going to church or joining a sports club etc.
If you decide you wanna make more friends by going to a church, choose a church with a social aspect built in, such as refreshments afterwards which gives you an opportunity to click with someone, or a church with a sunday school or some shit.
Same goes with sports, i used to box and it gave me a chance to speak to some of the guys there after we had finished our sessions, sometimes i would walk home with some of the guys so we could talk more (if our houses were in the same general direction), or even going to your local community swimming pool where you can potentially meet someone your age and try to find some common ground and build off of that.

realistically, all it takes is you starting with small talk, and then bringing up something common that most people do, for example asking them if they play a common game on a playstation/xbox (make sure its a game people play together or against eachother like call of duty, 2k, fifa etc), or asking if they skateboard maybe (if you dont skate just buy a skateboard and try to larp), or asking if they play football/basketball at a specific park near you.
Even if you're not good at the sports, or games mentioned above, you can just say "im kinda trash tho" and you'd be surprised by how many ppl simply do not care and wont mind still doing these activities with you.
After that you just say "hey bro pass me your insta/snap so we can stay in touch" and boom, you just gotta follow up with one of the common tasks above, build rapport, then extend it to real life activities with something like bowling (or any other irl activities), and then it will flow naturally from there.

But it all comes down to initially clicking with someone and collecting some sorta contact so that you can follow up and build the rapport, after that you dont need to think much, you just need to follow up and it'll (hopefully) go smoothly from there.