Or better yet, strangle cats and approach them. Tell them about it.
How about I gut a cat and strangle it with its own guts? Oroborous typeshit innit
Lol, my Memaw's husband was complaining about the neighbors cat coming in their yard a couple years back. He's always been a miserable fuck. Could never stand him. He's a pussy too. So one night while having a cigarette in their garage I spotted the cat in question. I lured it into the garage with a bowl of Cheerios and closed the door behind it. Spent a couple hours torturing it before strangling it from behind. Clawed the fur right out of it's own chin using its hind legs trying to get my hands from around its neck.
How’d you get the cat so still? They always run
I petted it at first and got it to trust me. Was the neighbors' pet so already very domesticated. It let me pick it up and I held it in my arms while shutting the garage door behind us. After that I set it down and it went underneath my Memaw's truck to lay down. I allowed it to relax while I had a few more cigarettes. Then I grabbed a crochet ball from my Memaw's crochet set and hurled it at the thing like a bowling ball. I missed but it immediately went from relaxed to completely panicked. Freaked out and tried flinging itself at the closed garage door to no avail. Must have known I was gonna kill it.
Phew, just looked it up and the statute of limitations is way past, so I'll give more info. Memaw's husband was shocked and scared but Memaw was just scared. Scared that I would get in trouble. She didn't give a shit about the cat. She feverishly cleaned up the garage, lol. On her hands and knees cleaning up the hair and spraying the garage floor with white vinegar.
She’s a real one
