anxkara
Iron
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2026
- Posts
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prologue
as somebody who grew up with extremely low social confidence and awareness, i have always lived internalizing my own mistakes—some i knew were external to my capabilities and some within my control. for context, i grew up constantly moving back and forth from my home country to the U.S., that being said, the culture surrounding me was never necessarily stable, leaving my childhood stunted regarding its social aspect. aside from that, i have always been very scrawny, awkward, unathletic, uncharismatic, and conventionally unattractive. the only things i had going for me were my height and somewhat decently high intelligence. but even then, i was diagnosed with ADHD and always found it incredibly difficult to focus within an educational setting. today, i have extremely low to zero inhibition. my ascension can most definitely be taken into account for my social life, but i want to make it clear that i ascended before i learned to be social. i would say that i have good genetics, and i am not going to claim that this is some sort of holy grail to cure your sky-high inhibition, nevertheless, this can be extremely beneficial for those who are socially awkward. if you are searching for something that will instantly make you an adept social butterfly, dnr and scroll. at the end of the day, human beings are creatures that change over long periods of time and with sincere dedication in an effort to experience said change. without further ado, let us advance to the actual guide
initial stage: realization and acceptance
the first thing that must be understood by every person is that everyone has their genetic limit. yes, it is true that humans are extraordinary creatures capable of things unimaginable, but there is a fine line between what can be done and what cannot be done. some people are simply limited by their genetics, and that is completely fine. this world would be a world barren of variety and excellence if everyone were to be "genetically blessed." an individual may be born to adhere to athletics, whereas another might be born to adhere to mastering coding language. of course, there are several factors that can determine somebody's potential, whether it be social, physical, or intellectual—where one was born, what parents, if any, one was given, one's surrounding societal norms, and of course, one's physical appearance are determining factors of one's QOL. i am not going to go totally whitepill here because everybody knows that your life is hugely affected by your physical appearance. i would just like it to be known that this is a guide solely to aid those who do not know how to reach their social limit. realize that we all have limits because of the factors mentioned previously. some limits are lower and some are higher, and that is simply how life is. the same goes for intellect and physicality. there are those who i will never be as intelligent as and there are those who i will never be as physically attractive as or even as strong as. the person reading this might never be able to become as socially proficient as they want to. there is nothing wrong with that. the key is accepting your limitations and working with what you have. do not be comfortable in the cadence of your life's sequence in any regards, for this will halt your understanding and progression as a human being. realize and accept what you have and work with it indefinitely. every pill that is worth it in the long run is a difficult pill to swallow.
second stage: patterns of societal neurotypicality
the second step is to actually study how "normal" people around you act. i am not telling you to copy others, but rather to understand how society reacts to certain events and notions, how individuals differ from one another, how norms differ from community to community, and whether or not certain individuals are genuine in their intention. allow me to break this down:
how society reacts to certain events and notions:
to learn how society reacts to certain events and notions essentially means how individuals within a certain society/community respond to things both orthodox and unorthodox. this can go for an entire community of people or perhaps a singular person, as said before. on a large scale, a normal thing for a society to do in response to somebody, let's say, dying in a car accident, would be generally empathetic. this may come off as obvious, which it is, but it is important for us to understand empathy. those who lack empathy in a social setting will usually fail in the pursuit of societal acceptance and/or social competence. aside from empathy, social awareness is also something very important. understanding whether or not you belong somewhere can prevent you from experiencing embarrassment or making those around you uncomfortable. that being said, if you know that you are uninvited to a conversation and the people conversing do not want you to participate, leave. you are not entitled to anyone's conversation or presence. this is a guide on how to become social, not a creep. it is totally fine that certain people in certain moments do not want you to be around them. do not be a manchild and insert yourself in people's business. one of the most important aspects of this guide is staying calm and composed in all interactions. an individual scale in this same concept would encompass smaller events such as tripping down the stairs or even being hit by a stray basketball. small reactions that could seem insignificant mold one's social prowess. remaining consistent with composure during conflict, whether it be man v. society, man v. man, or man v. nature, are extremely important small first steps to becoming truly adept in social life.
how individuals differ from one another:
this step is quite self-explanatory. to understand how individuals differ from one another is to understand the proximity within each individual that is socially viable for you, as another individual and how they compare to others like and unlike them. essentially, this means that all people are different from one another and that they must all not be interacted with equally. some individuals may want to approach while other might want to be approached. some individuals are introverts and do not prefer social interaction. some individuals are social butterflies and thrive in the social market. the key is understanding that you must study patterns (verbal and physical) that each person exhibits and work off what they demonstrate. for example, it would be more acceptable to speak quietly or calmly to somebody who speaks in a quieter cadence, the same way it would be more acceptable for one to be more enthusiastic to an individual to appear enthusiastic. it's all about the balance of energy and allowing people one interacts with to stay comfortable when interaction takes place. however, i am not saying to change your personality for somebody in a certain scenario, rather, i am just advising that you simply match one's energy in order to improve your response to social interaction and keep others comfortable.
how norms differ from community to community:
the next two steps in this stage are going to be the briefest. understanding how norms differ from community to community is a more abstract concept and one that is not universal. that being said, it is not appropriate for me to attempt to encapsulate this entire idea into an .org discussion. communities are to be interacted with differently depending on the relation between said communities and oneself. examples follow groups of people within one's own age group, such as peers of preferred sex, friends, acquaintances, and strangers. other examples are people like the elderly, teachers/professors, bosses, etc. your demographics compared to the demographics of other people around you are massively important regarding norms. before interaction with someone, understand the relation between your demographics. this idea also remains true for other groups of people, such as ethnic, sexual, religious, creative, hobby-based, professional/organizational, and geographic communities. to become more social, act specifically according to someone's background. you will always need to act more fitting in relation to somebody's character, whether it be professional, casual, inclusive, calm, enthusiastic, etc. this is simply how you practice and learn where you are in relation to the world around you.
whether or not certain individuals are genuine in their intention:
understanding whether or not certain individuals are genuine in their intention is a survival instinct more than anything. many individuals, especially those residing in urban areas or perhaps even more dangerous areas are prone to becoming more survival oriented. this means that they will manipulate, lie, and take advantage of others in order for their own personal benefit. this is something that people simply learn via interaction with said individuals. it is not something necessarily teachable; it is needed for people to actually see first-handedly.
third stage: verbal and mental practices
now that we have covered many societal aspects and understandings of the social market, it is important that one actually practices what to do and what not to do in social instances. when approached, i advise to actually wait a second to articulate your thoughts. this may come off as hesitant in a scenario, but it is always better to momentarily pause and verbalize a more articulate response than it is to instantly spew out something totally incoherent. take breath if needed and make it known that you are thinking of what to say if the question makes it appropriate. realize that it is totally okay to make a mistake and that the person you stutter to/make a mistake in front of will inevitably forget said mistake/interaction. in conversation, try to relate to the other party/parties. you will almost always have something in common with another person. attempt to ask questions that are relevant to the conversation. speak accordingly to your relevance in the conversation or context; nobody likes somebody who speaks about stuff they have no business speaking about. something that is also important is to not speak too much. speaking too much usually means that you are speaking without meaning. again, do not be somebody that nobody likes.
practice communication. speak with people you are closer to, and then slowly shift to people that you are less familiar with until you interact with strangers. do not be afraid of approaching in scenarios you are not accustomed to. inhibition is a state of mind easy to conquer. you are not who people or society perceive you to be. you are your own individual and will remain so only if you protect your individuality. additionally, do not hesitate to speak to yourself in fake scenarios. i personally practice by speaking to myself in order to master my social prowess, although it was a practice that i used to utilize more often. again, speak to others and do not hesitate to leave your bubble. find your confidence and utilize it, no matter how small it may be. i will definitely expand this thread later on, but that is for another time. i hope you enioyed.
as somebody who grew up with extremely low social confidence and awareness, i have always lived internalizing my own mistakes—some i knew were external to my capabilities and some within my control. for context, i grew up constantly moving back and forth from my home country to the U.S., that being said, the culture surrounding me was never necessarily stable, leaving my childhood stunted regarding its social aspect. aside from that, i have always been very scrawny, awkward, unathletic, uncharismatic, and conventionally unattractive. the only things i had going for me were my height and somewhat decently high intelligence. but even then, i was diagnosed with ADHD and always found it incredibly difficult to focus within an educational setting. today, i have extremely low to zero inhibition. my ascension can most definitely be taken into account for my social life, but i want to make it clear that i ascended before i learned to be social. i would say that i have good genetics, and i am not going to claim that this is some sort of holy grail to cure your sky-high inhibition, nevertheless, this can be extremely beneficial for those who are socially awkward. if you are searching for something that will instantly make you an adept social butterfly, dnr and scroll. at the end of the day, human beings are creatures that change over long periods of time and with sincere dedication in an effort to experience said change. without further ado, let us advance to the actual guide
initial stage: realization and acceptance
the first thing that must be understood by every person is that everyone has their genetic limit. yes, it is true that humans are extraordinary creatures capable of things unimaginable, but there is a fine line between what can be done and what cannot be done. some people are simply limited by their genetics, and that is completely fine. this world would be a world barren of variety and excellence if everyone were to be "genetically blessed." an individual may be born to adhere to athletics, whereas another might be born to adhere to mastering coding language. of course, there are several factors that can determine somebody's potential, whether it be social, physical, or intellectual—where one was born, what parents, if any, one was given, one's surrounding societal norms, and of course, one's physical appearance are determining factors of one's QOL. i am not going to go totally whitepill here because everybody knows that your life is hugely affected by your physical appearance. i would just like it to be known that this is a guide solely to aid those who do not know how to reach their social limit. realize that we all have limits because of the factors mentioned previously. some limits are lower and some are higher, and that is simply how life is. the same goes for intellect and physicality. there are those who i will never be as intelligent as and there are those who i will never be as physically attractive as or even as strong as. the person reading this might never be able to become as socially proficient as they want to. there is nothing wrong with that. the key is accepting your limitations and working with what you have. do not be comfortable in the cadence of your life's sequence in any regards, for this will halt your understanding and progression as a human being. realize and accept what you have and work with it indefinitely. every pill that is worth it in the long run is a difficult pill to swallow.
second stage: patterns of societal neurotypicality
the second step is to actually study how "normal" people around you act. i am not telling you to copy others, but rather to understand how society reacts to certain events and notions, how individuals differ from one another, how norms differ from community to community, and whether or not certain individuals are genuine in their intention. allow me to break this down:
how society reacts to certain events and notions:
to learn how society reacts to certain events and notions essentially means how individuals within a certain society/community respond to things both orthodox and unorthodox. this can go for an entire community of people or perhaps a singular person, as said before. on a large scale, a normal thing for a society to do in response to somebody, let's say, dying in a car accident, would be generally empathetic. this may come off as obvious, which it is, but it is important for us to understand empathy. those who lack empathy in a social setting will usually fail in the pursuit of societal acceptance and/or social competence. aside from empathy, social awareness is also something very important. understanding whether or not you belong somewhere can prevent you from experiencing embarrassment or making those around you uncomfortable. that being said, if you know that you are uninvited to a conversation and the people conversing do not want you to participate, leave. you are not entitled to anyone's conversation or presence. this is a guide on how to become social, not a creep. it is totally fine that certain people in certain moments do not want you to be around them. do not be a manchild and insert yourself in people's business. one of the most important aspects of this guide is staying calm and composed in all interactions. an individual scale in this same concept would encompass smaller events such as tripping down the stairs or even being hit by a stray basketball. small reactions that could seem insignificant mold one's social prowess. remaining consistent with composure during conflict, whether it be man v. society, man v. man, or man v. nature, are extremely important small first steps to becoming truly adept in social life.
how individuals differ from one another:
this step is quite self-explanatory. to understand how individuals differ from one another is to understand the proximity within each individual that is socially viable for you, as another individual and how they compare to others like and unlike them. essentially, this means that all people are different from one another and that they must all not be interacted with equally. some individuals may want to approach while other might want to be approached. some individuals are introverts and do not prefer social interaction. some individuals are social butterflies and thrive in the social market. the key is understanding that you must study patterns (verbal and physical) that each person exhibits and work off what they demonstrate. for example, it would be more acceptable to speak quietly or calmly to somebody who speaks in a quieter cadence, the same way it would be more acceptable for one to be more enthusiastic to an individual to appear enthusiastic. it's all about the balance of energy and allowing people one interacts with to stay comfortable when interaction takes place. however, i am not saying to change your personality for somebody in a certain scenario, rather, i am just advising that you simply match one's energy in order to improve your response to social interaction and keep others comfortable.
how norms differ from community to community:
the next two steps in this stage are going to be the briefest. understanding how norms differ from community to community is a more abstract concept and one that is not universal. that being said, it is not appropriate for me to attempt to encapsulate this entire idea into an .org discussion. communities are to be interacted with differently depending on the relation between said communities and oneself. examples follow groups of people within one's own age group, such as peers of preferred sex, friends, acquaintances, and strangers. other examples are people like the elderly, teachers/professors, bosses, etc. your demographics compared to the demographics of other people around you are massively important regarding norms. before interaction with someone, understand the relation between your demographics. this idea also remains true for other groups of people, such as ethnic, sexual, religious, creative, hobby-based, professional/organizational, and geographic communities. to become more social, act specifically according to someone's background. you will always need to act more fitting in relation to somebody's character, whether it be professional, casual, inclusive, calm, enthusiastic, etc. this is simply how you practice and learn where you are in relation to the world around you.
whether or not certain individuals are genuine in their intention:
understanding whether or not certain individuals are genuine in their intention is a survival instinct more than anything. many individuals, especially those residing in urban areas or perhaps even more dangerous areas are prone to becoming more survival oriented. this means that they will manipulate, lie, and take advantage of others in order for their own personal benefit. this is something that people simply learn via interaction with said individuals. it is not something necessarily teachable; it is needed for people to actually see first-handedly.
third stage: verbal and mental practices
now that we have covered many societal aspects and understandings of the social market, it is important that one actually practices what to do and what not to do in social instances. when approached, i advise to actually wait a second to articulate your thoughts. this may come off as hesitant in a scenario, but it is always better to momentarily pause and verbalize a more articulate response than it is to instantly spew out something totally incoherent. take breath if needed and make it known that you are thinking of what to say if the question makes it appropriate. realize that it is totally okay to make a mistake and that the person you stutter to/make a mistake in front of will inevitably forget said mistake/interaction. in conversation, try to relate to the other party/parties. you will almost always have something in common with another person. attempt to ask questions that are relevant to the conversation. speak accordingly to your relevance in the conversation or context; nobody likes somebody who speaks about stuff they have no business speaking about. something that is also important is to not speak too much. speaking too much usually means that you are speaking without meaning. again, do not be somebody that nobody likes.
practice communication. speak with people you are closer to, and then slowly shift to people that you are less familiar with until you interact with strangers. do not be afraid of approaching in scenarios you are not accustomed to. inhibition is a state of mind easy to conquer. you are not who people or society perceive you to be. you are your own individual and will remain so only if you protect your individuality. additionally, do not hesitate to speak to yourself in fake scenarios. i personally practice by speaking to myself in order to master my social prowess, although it was a practice that i used to utilize more often. again, speak to others and do not hesitate to leave your bubble. find your confidence and utilize it, no matter how small it may be. i will definitely expand this thread later on, but that is for another time. i hope you enioyed.
