Half vent thing

catchakill

catchakill

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i dont rlly post on here im lowky a lurker

Ngl i feel like the only thing keeping me alive is the idea that one day I’ll ascend. I’m 17, and I’ve been looksmaxxing and trying to get a job so I can make more money to looksmax further. I’m probably hella nd because I have extreme anxiety which made me socially awkward when communicating, and I haven’t made a friend since middle school. I’m undiagnosed however.


High school felt like hell because of this, so I switched to online school sophomore year, and now I honestly can’t socialize at all. I’ve been really lonely and depressed for the past three years, and I haven’t enjoyed living since I was about 12.


To make up for the failure of my teenage years, I’ve been trying to looksmax and become the person I’ve always wanted to be, because I’m never satisfied when I look in the mirror, and I’ve always been envious of others in school and stuff.


Honestly, if I couldn’t looksmax, I probably wouldn’t even be alive because it’s the only objective I’ve been looking forward to, not a degree, not anything else. The only thing I live for right now is trying to reach my full potential.


Does anyone else relate or feel like looksmaxxing is the only thing keeping them from roping? or the opposite? 😭
 
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i dont rlly post on here im lowky a lurker

Ngl i feel like the only thing keeping me alive is the idea that one day I’ll ascend. I’m 17, and I’ve been looksmaxxing and trying to get a job so I can make more money to looksmax further. I’m probably hella nd because I have extreme anxiety which made me socially awkward when communicating, and I haven’t made a friend since middle school. I’m undiagnosed however.


High school felt like hell because of this, so I switched to online school sophomore year, and now I honestly can’t socialize at all. I’ve been really lonely and depressed for the past three years, and I haven’t enjoyed living since I was about 12.


To make up for the failure of my teenage years, I’ve been trying to looksmax and become the person I’ve always wanted to be, because I’m never satisfied when I look in the mirror, and I’ve always been envious of others in school and stuff.


Honestly, if I couldn’t looksmax, I probably wouldn’t even be alive because it’s the only objective I’ve been looking forward to, not a degree, not anything else. The only thing I live for right now is trying to reach my full potential.


Does anyone else relate or feel like looksmaxxing is the only thing keeping them from roping? or the opposite? 😭
Nikesh Patel Rose Matafeo GIF by BBC Three
 
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