having objectively attractive friends decayed myself confidence and fuels my self hatred

mangofloat

mangofloat

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i geniunely like my friends and i know that its out of their control but sometimes this is the type of shit that itches and boils my blood. i hate being used as pawns by foids to get close to my friends. i hate being approached and assuming that they are at the very least coming for me only to get a 'can you [verb] this to [noun]'. these demons do not even see me as a person anymore. i just get extremely jealous, i deserve better than this.

i get it all of us has been here at some point. but its jsut frustraiting.
 
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ik i should pour my time in to something productive like pushing a cocktail of peptides into my body instead of whining like a fag on here. but i feel extremely fucking jealous. i hate it
 
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i have tried coping by excelling in other stuff, sports, fucking iq i larped as an 'average' student knowing all the shit i sacrificed just to rank third in the entire uni, personality i can crack jokes and actually have people laugh, i try to speak and connect with other normies, but all of it is not enough. i deserve more i deserve better i deserve everything good but guess what these niggas are unfunny, sometimes they smell like hot ass, they act awkward, theyre intellectually average but people still want them they chase them. meanwhile here i am begging for an ounce a drop of having the feeling of being wanted and desired. i cant do this shit
 
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i have tried coping by excelling in other stuff, sports, fucking iq i larped as an 'average' student knowing all the shit i sacrificed just to rank third in the entire uni, personality i can crack jokes and actually have people laugh, i try to speak and connect with other normies, but all of it is not enough. i deserve more i deserve better i deserve everything good but guess what these niggas are unfunny, sometimes they smell like hot ass, they act awkward, theyre intellectually average but people still want them they chase them. meanwhile here i am begging for an ounce a drop of having the feeling of being wanted and desired. i cant do this shit
What's holding you back then
 
It doesn’t get better
 
being in a situation where you are approached and asked about your friend expecting they are going for you is just another type of pain and u cant do shit about. being in it more than once is horrible. im starting to hating myself. i did not choose to be born like this. to have forward growth, to have my nasobial folds more prominent in the riht side, to have my asa unbalanced, to have my have a monolid lid on my right side. if i could fix all of this i would.
 
i geniunely like my friends and i know that its out of their control but sometimes this is the type of shit that itches and boils my blood. i hate being used as pawns by foids to get close to my friends. i hate being approached and assuming that they are at the very least coming for me only to get a 'can you [verb] this to [noun]'. these demons do not even see me as a person anymore. i just get extremely jealous, i deserve better than this.

i get it all of us has been here at some point. but its jsut frustraiting.
Hey I know it’s frustrating and it’s good to let it out bro. Your anger and frustration is valid and you can hate how you feel around people without necessarily hating said people
 
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