Hollywood
Golden Boy
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♥ Hollywood Slay Stories ♥
Episode 1: "Nandos, Face-Fucking & The Crimson Tsunami"
Episode 1: "Nandos, Face-Fucking & The Crimson Tsunami"
Alright retards, strap the fuck in. This one is straight-up biological horror comedy gold. The time I pulled a legit HTB (TV actress, minor Netflix role) and turned a cheap Nandos date into a full period buffet disaster.
▬ The Pull & Savage Negging ▬
Matched this absolute thicc foid on Tinder - thick lips, fat ass, serious body. I opened with deep knowledge of her show, quoting lines like a pro. Her ego exploded. She’s voice-noting me, calling me "dangerous" and "trouble". Hahahahhahaha Easy mode.
She suggests Nobu like a spoiled princess. Nah.
I went full hypergamy hatred:
"If you play your cards right maybe one day you'll earn a real date with me"
"I don't really take girls out, but you're cute enough that I might break my rules..."
"Nobu is for my actual girlfriend. Right now you're straight Nandos & chill tier. Let’s see if you can earn the upgrade."
She actually agreed. Date locked: Nandos + movie, literally 5 minutes from my apartment. Logistics = god tier.
▬ Date Day Chaos ▬
Cancelled last minute on the original day to neg the absolute shit out of her. She instantly started blowing up my phone with double and triple texts, asking what happened and when we could reschedule. Proper thirst mode engaged.
I left her on read for a bit, then casually re-organised for a new day. By the time the new date came around she was even more eager, double texting again to confirm and sending messages like "can't wait to see you". The neg worked perfectly, she was properly invested and chasing.
Then Mother Nature decided to fuck me raw. Got caught in a biblical storm on the 5-minute walk over. Arrived looking like a drowned sewer rat: clothes completely see-through, hair destroyed, shoes squelching water everywhere. She still hugged me tight anyway. Game undefeated.
Ordered food ($42 total). Started stroking her hand across the table. She called me touchy so I flipped it instantly:
"Nah you’re the one tryna hold my hand, calm down. If you want me, you can just say so.
"She was creaming herself laughing, eating up every bit of the bullshit.
▬ Cinema Degeneracy ▬
Booty slap so loud it echoed through the hallway. She bit her lip and grinned. Lights go down and we turn feral - sloppy tongue kissing, neck sucking, biting. I’m rock hard the whole time. Rubbing her soaked pussy through her jeans while she quietly moans into my neck. My face ended up covered in her makeup like I was a cheap whore.
▬ The Bedroom Bloodbath ▬
Back at mine. Door barely closed before clothes got ripped off, lights out. We’re all over each other on the bed. I slipped my fingers inside her first and she was absolutely fucking dripping. Proper soaked. I started fingerblasting her hard and deep while sucking on her neck, and she went crazy, moaning loud right in my ear, hips bucking. She was so wet it was running down my fingers and onto the sheets.
I’m a foreplay guy though, so I told her "I'm gonna eat this pussy first". I finally pulled my fingers out, then dove straight between her thighs like a starving man. Deep tongue strokes, sucking on her clit, the full nasty works. She was moaning like a porn star, legs shaking violently, grabbing my hair and pulling my face deeper.
I kept going hard for a solid while, really getting into it, tongue buried as deep as it would go. She was loving every second.
Then the taste hits…
Metallic. Coppery. Like I motorboated a bag of pennies.
I kept eating for a solid 10 minutes because I’m a dedicated degenerate and she was loving every second of it. Finally pulled back, went to the bathroom and…
MIRROR CHECK
My entire face was ABSOLUTELY SLAUGHTERED in thick dark period blood. Mouth, chin, nose, cheeks, looked like I tried to deepthroat a crime scene. I swallowed some. Full panic mode.
ND autism meltdown: fully activated. Brushed my teeth like a meth head (4+ rounds), gargled half a bottle of Listerine, spitting blood like a vampire with rabies. Whispering "what actual fuck" the whole time.
Came back out and she was sitting there traumatised, embarrassed, and scared of the unmasked gremlin in front of her. Vibe = nuclear dead. She left 10 minutes later.
▬ Aftermath ▬
We argued over text for days. She called me weird as fuck, I tried gaslighting with "blood play is kinda hot in a primal way". It wasn’t. Never saw her again.
Moral of the story:
Never eat pussy in the dark like a rookie degenerate.
TL;DR:
Never eat pussy in the dark like a rookie degenerate.
TL;DR:
TV actress pulled → Nandos date → ate period blood for 10 minutes thinking it was extra wet pussy → massive meltdown brushing teeth → she ghosted.
Peak degen L.
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