I
injecting
Iron
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2024
- Posts
- 14
- Reputation
- 12
If Ive been filled with hatred for years what can I do?
I’ve done immense amounts of mental health work like journaling, meditating, gratitude 3 months in a row with no WiFi throughout a summer, and yet I still hold insane hatred for myself and the people in my life. I have no escape to these people who hold hatred towards me (brother and parents). They’ve abused me physically and mentally my whole life treating me like the failure of the house and family.
It’s like they prize my older brother for being the taller and obviously more attractive brother even though he ruins my life daily (breaking my belonging, making fake stories for my parents to hate me, and mentally belittling me as much as he can). Even my parents sometimes tell him to stop yet they could care less. I’ve really tried to ignore this all and never fight back but it’s gotten to me multiple times where I destroy things and lash out. I know I can’t do a thing because i still live with them. It’s been impossibly to focus with this nagging hatred and pain. They deserve hell yet I can’t do a thing about it. I know that becoming successful won’t be enough to fill this void and I’d much rather just harm them. I’m filled with health problems that they could give two shits about too. (Hypothyroid, vericocele vein, low test, sleep apnea/deviated septum or breathing problems and basically 0 energy and life in me)
i've been so close to fixing this yet so close to giving into hatred and ruining my life even more. It seems so easy just to give in and commit to knifing them all.
I just want to remove this self hatred and hatred towards everything in my life. I feel as if the only way to fix this emotion is action towards them. They deserve it.
the only cope i tell myself is "ill get successful and ignore them or ruin their lives by suing them"
I know so many of you all faced these horrible issues due to your looks or inferiority which just cause a boomerang of horrible mental health and life problems.
what can i do in an entrepreneurial spirit?
I’ve done immense amounts of mental health work like journaling, meditating, gratitude 3 months in a row with no WiFi throughout a summer, and yet I still hold insane hatred for myself and the people in my life. I have no escape to these people who hold hatred towards me (brother and parents). They’ve abused me physically and mentally my whole life treating me like the failure of the house and family.
It’s like they prize my older brother for being the taller and obviously more attractive brother even though he ruins my life daily (breaking my belonging, making fake stories for my parents to hate me, and mentally belittling me as much as he can). Even my parents sometimes tell him to stop yet they could care less. I’ve really tried to ignore this all and never fight back but it’s gotten to me multiple times where I destroy things and lash out. I know I can’t do a thing because i still live with them. It’s been impossibly to focus with this nagging hatred and pain. They deserve hell yet I can’t do a thing about it. I know that becoming successful won’t be enough to fill this void and I’d much rather just harm them. I’m filled with health problems that they could give two shits about too. (Hypothyroid, vericocele vein, low test, sleep apnea/deviated septum or breathing problems and basically 0 energy and life in me)
i've been so close to fixing this yet so close to giving into hatred and ruining my life even more. It seems so easy just to give in and commit to knifing them all.
I just want to remove this self hatred and hatred towards everything in my life. I feel as if the only way to fix this emotion is action towards them. They deserve it.
the only cope i tell myself is "ill get successful and ignore them or ruin their lives by suing them"
I know so many of you all faced these horrible issues due to your looks or inferiority which just cause a boomerang of horrible mental health and life problems.
what can i do in an entrepreneurial spirit?
