
Lonenely sigma
Future "username-o-plasty" candidate
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2022
- Posts
- 8,053
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- 16,596
Even when I couldn't really put my finger on it, I could still feel it. I knew it was all shallow, I just didn't realize the main factor was the face...
It was in 2021, I was 15 or 16 at the time. I remember wondering why I always fell into deep limerence with random girls, idolizing them etc. I wondered why I never was the one they were dreaming about.
Then it occured to me: I have to be good looking enough to fall in love with my own reflection! What a groundbreaking discovery, I know...
Since then, the number of times I've "fell in love" has decreased quite a bit. Nevertheless, it still happens.
On a "good day", when I look lookable and a girl shows me some affection, I don't fall in love with her. I don't even feel really good.
Instead, I feel nothing but fear - what if she sees me under a bad lighting? What if I get a horrendous hairstyle? What if she catches me wearing makeup? What if... what if...
There's no escape, really. I just have to be perfect, and I have to be perfect forever. Otherwise, I can't face any of my problems, since my face is my problem.
It was in 2021, I was 15 or 16 at the time. I remember wondering why I always fell into deep limerence with random girls, idolizing them etc. I wondered why I never was the one they were dreaming about.
Then it occured to me: I have to be good looking enough to fall in love with my own reflection! What a groundbreaking discovery, I know...
Since then, the number of times I've "fell in love" has decreased quite a bit. Nevertheless, it still happens.
On a "good day", when I look lookable and a girl shows me some affection, I don't fall in love with her. I don't even feel really good.
Instead, I feel nothing but fear - what if she sees me under a bad lighting? What if I get a horrendous hairstyle? What if she catches me wearing makeup? What if... what if...
There's no escape, really. I just have to be perfect, and I have to be perfect forever. Otherwise, I can't face any of my problems, since my face is my problem.