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Peco
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This is a repost, the original post didn't receive much attention but I think the issue I describe is common to all the people participating in this community, so I decided to change a few things and make it structurually a little cleaner. I didn't use AI at all when writing or formatting this so there could be some grammar or spelling mistakes but I think overall not using AI is a plus. Hopefully you'll read some original thoughts.
This graph describes the relationship between time and confidence of you (average looksmaxxer) and a regular guy without any mental health issue (the graph is obviously not proof of anything, it's just there to showcase my Paint skills and to make what I say easier to follow). As you can see if we assume the starting point is when you learned about looksmaxxing, the average starting confidence of an nt normie guy is already higher than yours. That's probably why you started looksmaxxing right ? Most people that approach this community and get invested in it are insecure people that wanna fix their social disability. But does looksmaxxing help with that ?
The curve of the normie gravitates around his baseline confidence, due to real life events that can marginally affect it. Yours is a bit different though. At first your confidence dips. That is because all the copes that kept you going fall apart. The idea that looks aren't very important and that your personality is the only thing that really matters, disappears. But after that comes the rise. Looksmaxxing shows you the harsh reality but it gives you a solution and promises things will get better. And so you start improving your looks and as a result of that your confidence slowly increases. But is the solution that looksmaxxing gives really the most optimal ? Here comes the paradox.
While your confidence rises as illustrated by my beautiful graph, getting closer and closer to your starting confidence, it will never reach that level again. That is because looksmaxxing has completly reshapened your mind and how you look at things. Before you learned about looksmaxxing you were not comparing yourself with others to make sure you are mogging them. You weren't spending hours analyzing your face in a camera or mirror. You were more naive but also free from mental cages. You were less self conscious. Let's face it, you were probably happier.
The whole idea of looksmaxxing is that by improving your looks more and more your confidence will raise as a result and at some point you'll magically stop being insecure. That would be true if you were able to become an absolutely flawless chad. Then you would have 0 flaws and would mog every single human on the planet, making it impossible to be self conscious. But obviously that's not what's gonna happen. Most people that had success with looksmaxxing will tell you that their quality of life definitely improved, people do treat them a lot better, but deep down nothing really changed and they still hate themselves and struggle with self image issues. This was definitely the case for me. Even after becoming much better looking and getting the attention that I always wanted I still felt insecure deep down.
Now what people will tell me is "yeah bro just keep improving, it will keep getting better and eventually you will escape the blackpill". But the reality like I said is that would only happen if I were to ascend to a divine flawless creature. Of course that's impossible. Every flaw you fix is replaced by a new one. Maybe these new flaws will have less impact on yourself, but they will keep haunting you.
Now what people will tell me is "yeah bro just keep improving, it will keep getting better and eventually you will escape the blackpill". But the reality like I said is that would only happen if I were to ascend to a divine flawless creature. Of course that's impossible. Every flaw you fix is replaced by a new one. Maybe these new flaws will have less impact on yourself, but they will keep haunting you.
So what should you do ? Accept that you'll never truly be free ? Stop trying to improve your appearance ? Of course not. Looks are undeniably important and you should always try to better them. The way to escape from the endless cycle I described is to fix the mental habits that came with learning about the blackpill.
All these habits are harmful and will not change the way you look at all and instead make you more self conscious and thus more insecure. Most people here are proud of how objective and reasonable they are, yet you would agree with me most of them have these bad habits and do nothing to actively fix them. They would say someone doing the opposite is a coping bluepill faggot, despite the huge ROI that fixing these habits has. Knowing what you look like at a certain moment is only useful for knowing how you look at that moment. It won't make it better. It's your emotional reaction to an underlying insecurity that looksmaxxing created. Same with comparing yourself with others.
Ultimately you must detach from the idea that your moral value is determined by your looks. I'm not trying to argue whether it objectively is or it isn't because it doesn't matter. You should keep improving your looks, like you do with your education or social skills, but you shouldn't think these things determine your value as person. If you are so self conscious of your own looks that's gonna be detremental for you. You will be filled with resentment. Even if you do become better looking you will not appreciate its advantages to the fullest. You'll never be confident in yourself because you'll always be projecting your value in a future where your flaws have been fixed. But if you keep thinking like this that future will never exist, I guarantee you that. For every flaw you fix there is a new one that appears, it will never be enough.
You need keep the good thing about looksmaxxing (realizing looks are important and learning ways to improve them) but get rid of the bad part (the mental framework that it develops).
It will take a while to fix things completly but I guarantee that the effect it will have on your confidence is massive. It will make you a lot less self conscious and lower your inhib and stress levels. All by getting rid of a couple of habits. No drugs or other bullshit. This is by far the thing that helped me the most with my performance in social situations. Try it for 1/2 weeks and see for yourself if you don't believe me. Sometimes the simplest things have the greatest effects.
- Stop comparing yourself with others. It's not something you can stop doing entirely, it's in human nature, but stop doing it actively. If you notice you are doing it redirect your thoughts somewhere else.
- Fight the urge of checking yourself out everytime you see a reflective surface outside and stop analyzing your face for hours in pictures or the mirror. Check yourself in the mirror before leaving for school or a social event but leave it at that.
All these habits are harmful and will not change the way you look at all and instead make you more self conscious and thus more insecure. Most people here are proud of how objective and reasonable they are, yet you would agree with me most of them have these bad habits and do nothing to actively fix them. They would say someone doing the opposite is a coping bluepill faggot, despite the huge ROI that fixing these habits has. Knowing what you look like at a certain moment is only useful for knowing how you look at that moment. It won't make it better. It's your emotional reaction to an underlying insecurity that looksmaxxing created. Same with comparing yourself with others.
Ultimately you must detach from the idea that your moral value is determined by your looks. I'm not trying to argue whether it objectively is or it isn't because it doesn't matter. You should keep improving your looks, like you do with your education or social skills, but you shouldn't think these things determine your value as person. If you are so self conscious of your own looks that's gonna be detremental for you. You will be filled with resentment. Even if you do become better looking you will not appreciate its advantages to the fullest. You'll never be confident in yourself because you'll always be projecting your value in a future where your flaws have been fixed. But if you keep thinking like this that future will never exist, I guarantee you that. For every flaw you fix there is a new one that appears, it will never be enough.
You need keep the good thing about looksmaxxing (realizing looks are important and learning ways to improve them) but get rid of the bad part (the mental framework that it develops).
It will take a while to fix things completly but I guarantee that the effect it will have on your confidence is massive. It will make you a lot less self conscious and lower your inhib and stress levels. All by getting rid of a couple of habits. No drugs or other bullshit. This is by far the thing that helped me the most with my performance in social situations. Try it for 1/2 weeks and see for yourself if you don't believe me. Sometimes the simplest things have the greatest effects.
