How much does the work truly pay off

[sub5origin]

I am at a very low time in my life. I just saw a girl I have been getting feelings for then remembered what I am. Chubby face, 5'10 and 154 lbs, not athletic, 14 yo. I got home and began to just spiral into a deep depression which I am in as I am writing this. How much does the work truly payoff. I never want to be called a fatass again, my mental state just can't take it. Any tips, like specific? I dont have access to a gym except for at school currently and I can bench like 100. It's pretty bad, everything I've been told, whether professional or not, is that I am not fat. I feel fat, I think I am, might just be body dysmorphia but I truly hate myself and everything about me. So please, if you have anything, tell me. I don't know how much more of being like this I can take.

 

[Schokokuss]

Its worth it bro just keep going, also if you dont have access to a gym just train at home

 

[ghoulmania]

ignorance is bliss, but eventually the knowledge you have will pay off and once it does you can live in peace a good payback for the years of misery that's if you don't feed into the hopeless abyss, for now the truth stands clear; looks matter and nothing else will bring you close to experiencing a good life