Celt
Iron
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2026
- Posts
- 65
- Reputation
- 47
Its so bad I’m almost 21 and never had a relationship or even a talking stage that lasted longer than like 3 weeks
Had quite a few slays purely because of the inhibminning from alcohol and whatever other drugs I can get my hands on but I just can’t do it sober
The thing is, I’m not even unattractive, I get plenty of IOIs and I’ve had romantic opportunities I’m just too retarded and paranoid and anxious to actually capitalise on them
Yesterday I was on my way back from the gym off of like 5 scoops of pre, was lowk mogging with the pump and the debloat from the sheer diuretic effect of that much caffeine
And I was sitting on this bench waiting for the bus with my headphones in and this cute girl sits down on the other side. There were multiple other available benches so she intentionally chose to sit next to me. She was making an effort to make her presence known, kicking her feet and constantly looking over at me and then back again playing eye tag
But my brain, for some godforesaken reason interprets this situation as if I was stuck next to a sleeping lion and, just full on freezing up and not being able to look in her direction. Just crazy levels of paranoia and amygdala activation, to the point that I eventually just got up and went for a walk, missed the bus and ended up getting the next one
Like it sounds so retarded when I type it out but its just biological, I *know* that I need to be able to interact normally to get the things I want but I just *can’t*
Are there any drugs I can take all the time for this that won’t cook me in the long run (im very addiction prone, adhd bpd autist), or some sort of psychological protocol or method, or am I just cooked
Living like this just becomes more unbearable every day
Had quite a few slays purely because of the inhibminning from alcohol and whatever other drugs I can get my hands on but I just can’t do it sober
The thing is, I’m not even unattractive, I get plenty of IOIs and I’ve had romantic opportunities I’m just too retarded and paranoid and anxious to actually capitalise on them
Yesterday I was on my way back from the gym off of like 5 scoops of pre, was lowk mogging with the pump and the debloat from the sheer diuretic effect of that much caffeine
And I was sitting on this bench waiting for the bus with my headphones in and this cute girl sits down on the other side. There were multiple other available benches so she intentionally chose to sit next to me. She was making an effort to make her presence known, kicking her feet and constantly looking over at me and then back again playing eye tag
But my brain, for some godforesaken reason interprets this situation as if I was stuck next to a sleeping lion and, just full on freezing up and not being able to look in her direction. Just crazy levels of paranoia and amygdala activation, to the point that I eventually just got up and went for a walk, missed the bus and ended up getting the next one
Like it sounds so retarded when I type it out but its just biological, I *know* that I need to be able to interact normally to get the things I want but I just *can’t*
Are there any drugs I can take all the time for this that won’t cook me in the long run (im very addiction prone, adhd bpd autist), or some sort of psychological protocol or method, or am I just cooked
Living like this just becomes more unbearable every day