How to cope?

[spongebob]

I decided to cut off all toxic people in my life which has resulted in me being completely isolated. I carry some emotional baggage which makes it hard to be open to new people. My thoughts are killing me. I missed out on a lot of things that I regret deeply.
Its even so bad that I have muscle spasm for 4 hours every day before sleep. The only thing that helps me calm is alcohol but I'm somewhat a health junkie in my better days. How do I regain joy at life again and prevent being an alcoholic?
I was looksmaxxing and it went so good that I received IOIs daily at every place I went to but now I regressed into more fat, less muscle, tired face and low energy and low testosteron vibe overall.
I want a girl but I can't open myself up emotionally and even have a normal convo cus it's too tiring.

Tldr:
I'm emotionally exhausted and have no lust for life. How do I cope or regain this in a good healthy way?

 

[Baldingman1998]

 

[khvirgin]

inject t unironically

 

[FoolOfAGook]

Hatemaxxing

 

[spongebob]

inject t unironically

I have naturally high T. I get muscle gains in 2 weeks while another takes 2 months for same result.
My mental and emotional strength is shitty atm

 

[khvirgin]

I have naturally high T. I get muscle gains in 2 weeks while another takes 2 months for same result.
My mental and emotional strength is shitty atm

why you can't open up emotionally?

 

[spongebob]

Hatemaxxing

I did this and it worked perfectly as I mentioned. But now I regressed again after the negativity was too much too handle. (Muscle spasms all night and day)
And now I'm figuring how to cope and not be depressed

 

[spongebob]

why you can't open up emotionally?

I wish I knew. Every time a goodlooking girl approaches me or wants to talk my whole body screams 'go away' it's like feeling a litteral disgust. I guess the problem is in feeling like having nothing of value (positivity) to offer. Probably too low energy and will to keep convo going idk.

I'm all negativity so I can't talk in a normal friendly matter and without having a 'wtf u looking at' face.

 

[khvirgin]

I wish I knew. Every time a goodlooking girl approaches me or wants to talk my whole body screams 'go away' it's like feeling a litteral disgust. I guess the problem is in feeling like having nothing of value (positivity) to offer. Probably too low energy and will to keep convo going idk.

I'm all negativity so I can't talk in a normal friendly matter and without having a 'wtf u looking at' face.

You need to stop thinking you're worthless and cucking yourself
A lot of these women don't have anything to offer either

 

[spongebob]

You need to stop thinking you're worthless and cucking yourself
A lot of these women don't have anything to offer either

Good point.
So what's the best attitude to get over the cuck mentality? Srs