T
TrueNateJacobs
Iron
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2025
- Posts
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Most often, the main method of coping with Oneitis is to:
“Just think about how she’s getting banged by other dudes bro”
“Just accept that she doesn’t want you bro”
And while these sentiments are most likely true, they miss the mark, and true reality of Oneitis, in my opinion.
It is not the fact that she is simply just
“getting banged by other dudes”
Or
“Doesn’t want you”
She legitimately doesn’t think of you in the slightest bit.
It’s not that she actively thinks of you with disgust, or disdain—she doesn’t think you’re ugly;
she simply doesn’t realize your existence.
If you’re highly rated enough(hmtn-htn)
to have girls go after you,
then you will understand, that when a girl is interested in you, and you aren’t in her,
You couldn’t care less about her existence
At least in my experience, when girls I have no interest in flirt with me, or say nice things to me I genuinely feel nothing
Not pity because they’re ugly, not disinterest, but there is simply nothing extra there.
It’s easy to see them like any other person, because they are.
They could be a guy, and my opinion about them would be the exact same
This is all to say, that this is exactly how your Oneitis feels about you
When you compliment her, or like her story, she acknowledges it, but it doesn’t register.
The way my girl-bestfriend(who later became my Oneitis) described love to me, was as follows:
“Everyone is beautiful in their own way, but when you see that special someone, it’s beyond love or feelings, you just know.
Like you’ve been seeing everyone in grey your whole life, and they’re the only one in color.”
Another thing she said was
“What’s the point of yearning if you’re yearning for someone who you know will never feel the same way?”
Girls don’t want Noah from the Notebook.
They don’t want a guy who will chase them forever.
No matter how big of a gesture you make, if you build her a house,
if you chase her forever,
You’ll still always be grey to her.
She’ll never see you in color.
Not that she’s actively trying not to—
In fact, she may actually try to picture herself in a relationship with you—but she literally, physically won’t be able to.
It doesn’t compute.
There’s something about you that will never allow her to see you as anything more than a friend, as anything more than grey.
In my opinion, this is the reality, and you have to accept it.
Of the hundreds of guys she follows, that she’s friends with, she views you exactly the same as the rest of them.
Like you’re all just “guys”.
To her, there’s nothing individually special about you.
You’re not -insert name-
You’re just “Guy”
That’s what you have to grasp.
She doesn’t care about your “personality”
Like I stated with the inverse gender scenario;
“She genuinely feels nothing”
Now, with all of that being said, I don’t think “love at first sight” is real.
Girls like chad, it’s as simple as that,
But she will never “see you in color” if she isn’t physically attracted to you.
So at the end of the day, like it always has been, it’s either
Ascend, or accept that you will always be grey to her.
PERSONAL ANECDOTES:
With my particular case of Oneitis,
I would be having a conversation with her, then she would look at me a little longer than usual.
I could see the gears turning in her head, like she was trying to picture me as something
more than her friend.
Then she would look away and silently scoff at the idea.
She simply couldn’t picture herself being in a relationship with me.
My Oneitis and I were a perfect match.
We have the same hobbies, the same interests, we like the same tv shows, and have the same political opinions.
We both love kids and have similar future goals.
We both love the same music and the same food. We both have amazing chemistry and we can talk for hours and hours.
Time flys when im with her.
People said from the outside it looked like we were dating.
This is all to say that she can literally be your perfect match, and yet she will never be able to accept your face, or your height, or whatever it is.
She may even acknowledge how similar you both are, yet she will never let it go farther than friendship.
It’s not her fault. You’re just ugly.
So ascend, or find another girl.
“Just think about how she’s getting banged by other dudes bro”
“Just accept that she doesn’t want you bro”
And while these sentiments are most likely true, they miss the mark, and true reality of Oneitis, in my opinion.
It is not the fact that she is simply just
“getting banged by other dudes”
Or
“Doesn’t want you”
She legitimately doesn’t think of you in the slightest bit.
It’s not that she actively thinks of you with disgust, or disdain—she doesn’t think you’re ugly;
she simply doesn’t realize your existence.
If you’re highly rated enough(hmtn-htn)
to have girls go after you,
then you will understand, that when a girl is interested in you, and you aren’t in her,
You couldn’t care less about her existence
At least in my experience, when girls I have no interest in flirt with me, or say nice things to me I genuinely feel nothing
Not pity because they’re ugly, not disinterest, but there is simply nothing extra there.
It’s easy to see them like any other person, because they are.
They could be a guy, and my opinion about them would be the exact same
This is all to say, that this is exactly how your Oneitis feels about you
When you compliment her, or like her story, she acknowledges it, but it doesn’t register.
The way my girl-bestfriend(who later became my Oneitis) described love to me, was as follows:
“Everyone is beautiful in their own way, but when you see that special someone, it’s beyond love or feelings, you just know.
Like you’ve been seeing everyone in grey your whole life, and they’re the only one in color.”
Another thing she said was
“What’s the point of yearning if you’re yearning for someone who you know will never feel the same way?”
Girls don’t want Noah from the Notebook.
They don’t want a guy who will chase them forever.
No matter how big of a gesture you make, if you build her a house,
if you chase her forever,
You’ll still always be grey to her.
She’ll never see you in color.
Not that she’s actively trying not to—
In fact, she may actually try to picture herself in a relationship with you—but she literally, physically won’t be able to.
It doesn’t compute.
There’s something about you that will never allow her to see you as anything more than a friend, as anything more than grey.
In my opinion, this is the reality, and you have to accept it.
Of the hundreds of guys she follows, that she’s friends with, she views you exactly the same as the rest of them.
Like you’re all just “guys”.
To her, there’s nothing individually special about you.
You’re not -insert name-
You’re just “Guy”
That’s what you have to grasp.
She doesn’t care about your “personality”
Like I stated with the inverse gender scenario;
“She genuinely feels nothing”
Now, with all of that being said, I don’t think “love at first sight” is real.
Girls like chad, it’s as simple as that,
But she will never “see you in color” if she isn’t physically attracted to you.
So at the end of the day, like it always has been, it’s either
Ascend, or accept that you will always be grey to her.
PERSONAL ANECDOTES:
With my particular case of Oneitis,
I would be having a conversation with her, then she would look at me a little longer than usual.
I could see the gears turning in her head, like she was trying to picture me as something
more than her friend.
Then she would look away and silently scoff at the idea.
She simply couldn’t picture herself being in a relationship with me.
My Oneitis and I were a perfect match.
We have the same hobbies, the same interests, we like the same tv shows, and have the same political opinions.
We both love kids and have similar future goals.
We both love the same music and the same food. We both have amazing chemistry and we can talk for hours and hours.
Time flys when im with her.
People said from the outside it looked like we were dating.
This is all to say that she can literally be your perfect match, and yet she will never be able to accept your face, or your height, or whatever it is.
She may even acknowledge how similar you both are, yet she will never let it go farther than friendship.
It’s not her fault. You’re just ugly.
So ascend, or find another girl.
