How to fix craving for validation

[Deleted member 3573]

and maybe it is just that i have ADHD and crave dopamine because i have too low dopamine in my head thats maybe the reason i am craving it because i am not an asshole to people i dont think they are worse than me

You are definitely nice to people. I can tell. It's just that subconsciously, you probably believe you are better than them but it doesn't display itself outwardly. Hence the covert narcissism that isn't easy to tell

 

[Deleted member 3573]

yeah i would i am covert if i had to choose out of the 4 i just need to get a girlfriend to focus less on random things but i still have alot of empathy for people

Yeah you aren't a sociopath man. You will still have empathy as someone with more narcissistic traits.

 

[Deleted member 15081]

I always see myself trying to get as much attention from everyone and seek validation everywhere also here , sorry becauss of that

But how do i reduce it to care less about it?

Detachment to people around you in general would help. I'm guessing you are a "people-pleaser", in the sense you want them to like/ love you, and that might be why you need constant validation, the only way is to prove your self-worth in your career and when those thoughts come, try and do anything that doesn't involve "people", you could go trekking, cycling etc. Just get some alone time. I have been there my friend, sometimes those bouts of seeking validation keep returning and this is what I do to get over those feelings. Hope this helps

 

[fogdart]

I always see myself trying to get as much attention from everyone and seek validation everywhere also here , sorry becauss of that

But how do i reduce it to care less about it?

If you want a fulfilling life free from validation-seeking you need to unlearn what you've learnt from this forum. This forum has taught us that our inherent value as men in society is how good we look and how much female attention we get (i.e. how many JBs you can slay), but the real world is much different. Human beings are more than our looks, age or anything superficial, trying getting into a meaningful relationship with a woman you can trust. Ever heard the saying "one good girl is worth a 1000 bitches?" that's very true. I try to dissociate the real world from what I've learn from this forum - humans are way more complex than a set of arbitrary unproven theories. Take the redpill and blackpill knowledge with a grain of salt and live life freely without trying to fit into these red or black pill ideals, if necessary take a long break from this forum and enjoy life.

 

[eduardkoopman]

1. Getting negative digust quit consistently, is brutals over time. And damaging to self esteem (if one isn't delussional).
2. Getting positive validtion quit consistently, is life fuel in general and shoudl help with positive sense of self esteem. the downside, is that is can be addictive.

I think it's okay to realise. That we as regular humans need postive validations, to feel good and for self esteem reasons.
It's also good to realize, that you need to rationalize and make it small a bit. Like how samll the meaning of validation is. This For the sake of managing and controlling it.

I have lived 3 modes of life kinda now.
1. Invisible normie mode (most of muh life). getting neither disgust consistently, but no positive validations regularly also.
2. Disgust regularly consistently (for about 4 years orso)in muh giga religuous Busshist time. Because I looked not good due to be a skinny pale vegan, and I looked and was poor alot because I gave everything away and tried to life a giga minimalist and celibate lifestyle. So I was treated for 4 years, like an ugly loser basically. I managed decently well for 2 years of shit treatment. But after 2 years, it got to me. And it became epic brutals mentally to longer deal with the consistent disrespect I had to endured iand affect muh sense of self esteem and self feeling. And i didn't even freaking get enlightenment, that I was aiming for. (happy I went through it though, since early teens I was already wanting to once try becoming an enlightened spiritual monk god person or something)
3. Since getting better looking after some looksmaxxing recently. And having normal-ish (betabuxx) possessions build up again. I get somewhat regularly postive validation. In teh way I get treated, or compliments, eand life more on easier mode, etc..

I feel this last mode (3).
is the best way to life. But it's good to regularly retreat a bit, and just see validation as worthless-ish. For reason to not, to get to attached and addicted to it. Because when attached and addicted to it, it can easily become an insecurity

validation, in action:



Me in muh ugly Buddhist-maxxing time. That vegan diet, somehow made me pale as fuck

 

[Lars]

1. Getting negative digust quit consistently, is brutals over time. And damaging to self esteem (if one isn't delussional).
2. Getting positive validtion quit consistently, is life fuel in general and shoudl help with positive sense of self esteem. the downside, is that is can be addictive.

I think it's okay to realise. That we as regular humans need postive validations, to feel good and for self esteem reasons.
It's also good to realize, that you need to rationalize and make it small a bit. Like how samll the meaning of validation is. This For the sake of managing and controlling it.

I have lived 3 modes of life kinda now.
1. Invisible normie mode (most of muh life). getting neither disgust consistently, but no positive validations regularly also.
2. Disgust regularly consistently (for about 4 years orso)in muh giga religuous Busshist time. Because I looked not good due to be a skinny pale vegan, and I looked and was poor alot because I gave everything away and tried to life a giga minimalist and celibate lifestyle. So I was treated for 4 years, like an ugly loser basically. I managed decently well for 2 years of shit treatment. But after 2 years, it got to me. And it became epic brutals mentally to longer deal with the consistent disrespect I had to endured iand affect muh sense of self esteem and self feeling. And i didn't even freaking get enlightenment, that I was aiming for. (happy I went through it though, since early teens I was already wanting to once try becoming an enlightened spiritual monk god person or something)
3. Since getting better looking after some looksmaxxing recently. And having normal-ish (betabuxx) possessions build up again. I get somewhat regularly postive validation. In teh way I get treated, or compliments, eand life more on easier mode, etc..

I feel this last mode (3).
is the best way to life. But it's good to regularly retreat a bit, and just see validation as worthless-ish. For reason to not, to get to attached and addicted to it. Because when attached and addicted to it, it can easily become an insecurity




Me in muh ugly Buddhist-maxxing time. That vegan diet, somehow made me pale as fuck
View attachment 1401575

Thanks Eduard you are one of the most quality users here

 

[eduardkoopman]

Thanks Eduard you are one of the most quality users here

thanks. But basically just sharing muh life experiences so far. Which somehow, has been in a decently wide spectrum imo, making it possible for me to relate it from different angles and positions in life. Because i somehow been in a wider spectrum of life experiences, than probably most average normie guys my age.

 

[isis_Bleach]

the world has to give it to you
hop on rodis