Hepatologyscribe
excommunicated
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2020
- Posts
- 953
- Reputation
- 738
these days because of BDD.
I used to
Now I
I used to
- Make all A's
- Go to bed on time
- Wake up early
- Be a reliable person (rarely late)
- Talk to people in an overall NT way despite having borderline high-functioning aspergers
- Work a full time job and go to school at the same time
- Be a model employee that got promoted to manager (and then started being a bad manager, see Drinking On The Job )
- Go to the gym every single day
- Go on tinder dates regularly
- Go to parties and go out with friends
- Post weekly Instagram picture for a guaranteed 150+ likes
Now I
- Pass some of my classes by the skin of my teeth and usually fail or withdraw from at least one per semester
- Skip lecture 90% of the time if there isn't a test that day
- Go to bed anywhere from 3AM to 5AM
- Skip ***** practice (don't want to be identified so cant say the sport) to the point of threats of being kicked off the team
- Call out and no-call/no-show regularly at my new scribe job and at my old scribe job
- Sleep through my commitments, often until dinner time
- Take 3 to 5-hour naps after dinner (only being awake for 2 hours after a 12 hours sleep)
- Think about my life after jaw surgery
- Look in the mirror or at pictures of myself for a combined 30 minutes to an hour per day easily
- Think about the origins of my flaws in extreme depth for hours per day
- Critically compare myself (microfeature by microfeature) to people I want to look as good as
- Treat my hookups like pure shit just to see how much I can get away with to show me if they really think I am physically attractive or not
- Stopped going to parties because I end up an awkward af couch sitter because of how inferior I feel
- Hide from the camera and haven't posted on instagram in over a year & also deleted a lot of pictures
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