I am crying right now.

[MoggerGaston]

You don't, that's what society makes you believe. I used to think the same, until I realised I was happier alone, and it was the pressure of trying to get what I didn't want that made me depressed

Your conscious mind is more powerful than your subconscious desires, so you can literally change what you want

You are happier alone.... than when?!

I understand that the pressure of trying to get something you don't have, is incredibly hard on the mind.
Yet how to combine this with a need of belonging, feeling loved? When you currently don't experience such things, emotions?

Ideally you want to be understood and loved, socially.

That's why I also post on this forum, this forum and talking to people like you is the closest I have gotten to finding love and belonging.
I don't care about lookmaxxing, I am just here on offtopic talking to friends about life.

 

[optimisticzoomer]

You are happier alone.... than when?!

I understand that the pressure of trying to get something you don't have, is incredibly hard on the mind.
Yet how to combine this with a need of belonging, feeling loved? When you currently don't experience such things, emotions?

Ideally you want to be understood and loved, socially.

That's why I also post on this forum, this forum and talking to people like you is the closest I have gotten to finding love and belonging.
I don't care about lookmaxxing, I am just here on offtopic talking to friends about life.

I am happier alone than with people
Doesn't mean I should have 0 social contact, but I don't crave close relationships, and I certainly don't crave romantic relationships, and think that's a psyop

 

[MoggerGaston]

I am happier alone than with people
Doesn't mean I should have 0 social contact, but I don't crave close relationships, and I certainly don't crave romantic relationships, and think that's a psyop

I have the same with feeling worse, lonelier, when I am with people than alone. But that's a different mechanism I believe.

what about when you were 6 years old.
did you have no desire for social-contact, family, friends already back then? I find it hard to believe.

I do understand you because I feel the same where I don't crave friendships or relationships anymore, but that came out of having to adjust for the situation where I am in where this hasn't been possible. I can't get friendships/relationships so I have to adjust to a reality in which I care less about this.

Imagine an ideal world, everything is possible.
Would you want to be alone there?
I doubt it.

 

[ivan karamazov]

I will need to drink alcohol and snort mephedrone to get rid of these feelings, thoughts.

do you live in berlin lol?

 

[MoggerGaston]

do you live in berlin lol?

no but I would love to live there.

i love techno, alternative culture, drug culture.

 

[ivan karamazov]

no but I would love to live there.

View attachment 3256415

i love techno, alternative culture, drug culture.

lmao berlin is literally the end of the world

 

[MoggerGaston]

lmao berlin is literally the end of the world

 

[alpha]

Gaston I've had a similar childhood experience to you, you can see it in the threads I've made I first joined, teenage guy looking for attention online, why? Cuz I fucked up with the best looking girl of my school(stacylite), she liked me and I didn't know how to talk with the bitch, It developed into a situationship but during then I guess she knew I can't talk for shit with girls, because that was my 1st experience after being abused as a child. Now this shit made me popular being w her, had 4 girls crush on me, I just looked for the validation and ran away. I was on the way of going into medschool and literally gave it all up after discovering this website. Developed a drug habit next yr, alcohol this year.

I was always good in studies, high iq ig.

Now I'm just sick of it all, like imagine the life would I have been a few inches taller and with a better jaw, you know what, It would've been the same fucking same, yea some mtb could've stuck w me, but after a year, due to the abuse and manipulation I've had from my mom for 20 yrs, I would've pushed her away.

I've even formed a oneitis this year, and she gives me the stare one day, that long bubbly eyes stare, fixing her hair while smiling, and that was it I was happy from that alone, happier I've ever been, Didn't even talk to her afterwards, a slight show of accepting me and loving me was enough, best feeling ever. Now I haven't seen her for like 6 months, she prolly shifted, and this night, like you said, I just cried in silence, Not a single sound, tears falling from my eyes, you know the opposite feeling of love, pure opposite of the heat you feel in your chest when in love,
I felt the exact opposite, pure agony, felt like someone just pierced though my heart.

Man,

We can form friends tho right, This year I've had so many friends and all, but while writing this I've not seen em in 3 months, been shut in my house, listening to songs, imagining I'm Tyler Maher, and imagining that I'm with some supermodel and making my oneitis jealous, what did she ever do to me, didn't suck my duck on sight? Man fuck this shit, I pushed her away, she gave me so many invitations.

Pushed her because of the fear that she will go away with a Chad after all, and that I still believe is 100% true, idk.


Man fuck this, I don't know if I'm helping or asking help.

But hey, Knowing someone understands
you and has been thru the same shit helps ig.


Would you like to connect man?

 

[alpha]

Didn't help the oneitits looked like a darker cleo abram with better tits and body,was my exact type.

 

[normal boy]

Because I am an ugly subhuman beast

bro me too i want a foid to desiere me fuck my life ahhhhhhhh