I brutally destroyed my intelligence/moneymaxxing potential due to inceldom.

[fukmylyf]

Very hard question that I struggle to answer because I don't know the answer.
My only regret is that I wasted time doing 'nothing': rotting, gymcelling, dating useless hoes, socializing with ppl I didn't vibe with. But many other people I know would find those activities 'worthwhile'.

So my advice would be to have a few clear life goals set. So that if socializing and dating doesn't work out the way you want to for example. You already know:

'hey 1,5 years from now, I am done studying here, and then I am moving to another city for xx or yy job, I will have a new chance then.''


This is actually the main regret I have. I hated studying in my current city, hated socializing/dating here. I should've moved to another place and tried out a different atmosphere already.

Keep things like that in ur plan. So that even if you hate your current life, you have clear changes ahead of you. So that never can you say 'it will always be like this'. Always have options open and clear goals towards those new options. (I am here for 2 years, then I can go somewhere else).

actually good advice.

 

[JovenCansao]

Just read your whole story and it seems as if you went through all that because you are more self-aware than most about one's own situation.
You mog me in many life experiences, socially, academically and romantically.
However it seems my life is going steady. Hopefully next year is my last of my career, my parents and overall family are caring if a bit bluepilled and the few friends I have I think care about me, maybe that's what's keeping steady or my ignorance about my situation or perhaps I am just autistic or some shit

27 might be oldcel territory but you're still able to turn your life around, you can still do it, your story is not the most brutal I've read here, not by a long shot.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Would you ever sperm donor maxx? You're white and you're tall enough.

Yeah I've thought about it.
But the fact women reject me in general in life have rejected me and made me think my sperm is unwanted, I wouldn't bother at this point.

 

[fukmylyf]

brocel ur threads are the most relatable. I appreciate u

 

[Deleted member 12234]

bro... with all due respect, you're 27 whining and bitching like you're 40 lol. Look up most successful self-made men. Most of them didn't become very successful until their late 20s - 40s. For example, Larry Ellison was a drifter well into his 30s who was mooching off his girlfriends. Alot of people don't know this. Most people your age aren't successful and wont start seeing financial success until their mid 30s - 40s. But people are deluded by social media, which is fake af. Most niggas are wagecucks who live paycheck to paycheck trying to pay off their homes for the next 30 years and cars for the next 5-10 years while they pretend to be "successful" LOL. I'd even argue that if you're 1. unmarried and 2. have no kids, you're doing better than most other people since you have no financial obligations nor are you restricted to do other things in your life (aside from your student loan debt ofc, which most people have). I'd just focus on actually picking up a practical trade that you can actually start applying (something you can get within a year). Can quickly pay off your debt and get back on your feet. Only major prob you seem to have is the whole depression shit anyway.

 

[FutureSlayer]

Yes this is very much true.

When I dated this girl I never felt like we were a 'team', but that we were opponents trying to prove our worth to eachother.
And if you failed and didn't prove your worth, the consequence was being ditched and replaced.

This vibe with girls I have in general nowadays is the main reason why I consider going mgtow at this point.

same, tbh this is some real depressing shit. Hope we're gonna make it out bro

 

[rand anon]

Should've just switched to trade school at some point instead

 

[Mouthbreath]

Sending positive vibes. The world is your oyster!





This 50yo oldcel fucked a prime jb, while she was between 13 and 18. She left her parents, school and friends to live with him. You can tell that even after all the brain washing she received from the court and parents that she still loves him.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Sending positive vibes. The world is your oyster!





This 50yo oldcel fucked a prime jb, while she was between 13 and 18. She left her parents, school and friends to live with him. You can tell that even after all the brain washing she received from the court and parents that she still loves him.

JBs are some of the only real lifefuel left

 

[Deleted member 20399]

@syobevoli here

Extremely long text incoming. If u dont want to read, leave.

I hope some youngcels can learn something from my life story maybe. I am a 27yo guy right now that is basically a NEET about to go ER. But it wasn't always like this, but maybe it was always meant to be.


I was never the hardest working student, but my 128IQ carried me hard in school to the point where at the age of 17 (when you graduate high-school in the netherlands) I was among the top 1% scoring students of the country, which gave me access to every single university and program I wanted to get into.

At the age of 17 though I was:
-Abused by my parents.
-KHHV truecel
-Had a small social circle of gamer-nerds as only friends. No women.
-Depressed

I had free access to med school in the netherlands. But I deemed it too easy and a waste of time for someone like me. So I rejected it.
Note: Med school is the mostly highly sought after education in the netherlands, it's extremely hard to get in (everyone wants it), but once you are in it is easy and low-skill. Just memorization and reproduction.

Ended up thinking of doing a gap-year or something cuz I hated my life and didn't know what to do. My parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't go to university right away or got a job to support myself instead.

These threats led to me enrolling myself into Physics. It was considered the hardest program that this country had to offer and I hoped it would motivate me to excell. I hoped I would finally find the validation and appreciation I never got in life if I did well in this program. I hoped it would make me enjoy my life again, also I was always really good in physics in high school.

My parents refused to support me financially to study in another city, so I was forced to commute to this new university in another city from home. This took 4 hours every day, I had to wake up 6:15AM in the morning and generally i would get home at 8PM.

I would get home at 8PM, eat, play games 2-3 hours, go to bed. Repeat. Life was brutal.
I was still a truecel. I made some acquintainces mainly some guys that were also very smart that worked together with me at university. But nothing that lasted beyond the lecture halls.

I didn't get motivated and was getting less motivated as time went on. The loneliness was getting to me and I was looking for 'ways out of life' with videogames.

I still passed my first 2 years of physics with decent grades (Top ~30% and considered talented, but nothing special). Third year I got into a legal argument with my university and I had to go to court over being allowed to make a certain exam. Ended up losing the court-battle which led to requiring an additional 3 months to get a certain exam done. It was brutal to me because I considered the university to be a place where students would be supported, instead of actively be fought in court-battles over being allowed to make a fucking exam.

This court-battle that I lost felt like a brutal stab in the back. I was eagerly looking for any type of validation or appreciation for what I was doing, but instead I was getting sabotaged over shitty rules that (later I discovered) where hardly enforced anyways. Only somehow in my case they strictly were. (Not being allowed to make a certain exam, made it impossible for me to pass a certain course, which made it inevitable to for me to get a delayed graduation)

This same year I started looksmaxxing. I was 20yo at this point and didn't know of the blackpill. I started going to the gym and tracking calories to lose weight. Ended up losing interest in university and skipping lectures. Failing more and more courses, but still passing some here and there.

I now had a completed 1st + 2nd year. But a failed 3rd year of university. It's a 3-year program by the way. So I am basically 2/3 on the way now.

The next year, I passed only a single course (1/12 of a year) which basically means I didn't progress at all. I hardly went to my university anymore as the commute was too brutal and I lost interest. Resulting in a complete year wasted. I was completely demotivated in life and in my studies.
I took all the bluepilled advice and went to my general practitioner who send me through to a therapist to treat my depression.

I got on SSRI's right away, started doing weekly therapy sessions talking about my issues. In the mean-time still going to the gym, socializing with my nerd-friends, playing videogames, but hardly working on my studies.

SSRI's didn't work at all (escitalopram (called lexapro in the US) didnt work at all) and therapy wasnt making any progress whatsoever in a year time. Ended up switching therapists 3 times but to no avail.

At this time I also first installed dating apps (age 22). Hardly got any matches. Went on 1 date with a girl that rejected me. Whatever. My dating profile looked like this:
View attachment 1982987

I considered online-dating a waste of time and deleted Tinder. Instead I started social-maxxing. Mainly by going clubbing more often, but also by joining (latin) dance courses in the city that I studied at. Hoping to connect and interact with more women that way.

This is how I looked like at this point (age 22)

This was brutally unsuccesfull. All the interactions I was getting from women in clubs were negative and that of brutal rejection. Women in clubs wanted low-inhib beasts, not a 22yo mediocre looking KHHV.

The girls at my dance club were more positive and I got some more positive interactions there. But nothing ever led anywhere.


At 22yo I considered it time to make more drastic changes. I conspired to leave my elderly abusive home and arranged for a student-dorm without their knowledge as I knew they wouldn't agree with it.

Once I had it all arranged, I notified my parents of my departure and they had the brutal response that I expected: They told me I was disowned as a child and I was to receive absolutely 0 help with anything ever if I go through with these plans. They also had my cousins and their family talk to me to tell me that it would be terrible thing to move out.

I ended up moving out anyways without their support, but once I started arranging things, suddenly my parents started helping me again to move my shit to here. Pretending like they were always ready for me (brutal narc abusive gaslighting retard parents pill).

Anyways I ended up having to ditch my old therapist from my old city. And applied to new mental health-care in my new city.

This is the time I found the blackpill (age 23).

Nothing really changed except for me playing less videogames and spending more times on blackpill forums/discord/reddits.

Mental-healthcare was shit and ended up not vibing at all with my therapist. I dropped it and focused on self-improvement against. Started reading a lot about stoicicism, meditation-techniques and mindfullness. Also joined group yoga-classes, group running classes.

Unfortunately all to no avail and I wasted another year with 0 classes passed. But leanmaxxing was going well:

Next study-year I considered myself 'looksmaxxed enough' to start social-maxxing hardcore.

I doubled down on my (latin) dance classes and started doing 2 classes at once. But more importantly: I joined a student fraternity in the new city that I now lived in.

This fraternity is one of the biggest of my city and considered the 'top of student-life' basically, if you know what I mean.

i was also at my leanest and best-looking at this period of time tbh.


Results:

At my dancing classes I got told I look like a player/fuckboy (despite still being KHHV). Girls didn't really like me and weren't friendly to me, except my most common dance-partner that was somewhat open to me. I could've had a chance with her in hindsight if I pushed it myself, but I didn't and neither did she. So nothing ended up happening.

More importantly, my fraternity: I partied hard here 2-3 days per week. With absolutely ZERO results. I was 22yo and a lot of the people there considered me 'oldcel' already. Since I was new there I was coupled/paired with fresh students (18yo) and I was constantly being told how weird it was for a 22yo like me to be around 18yo's. Ngl it was very brutal and ofcourse also had to do with how old I looke due to my poor collagen and hairline. The 18-20yo girls wanted nothing to do with me.


Luckily around this time I met my first ever girl I kissed, had sex with, first girlfriend. Through tinder, pure luck tbh, I was hardly getting matches but this girl pulled through.
View attachment 1983024

It was a long-distance relationship and she thought of me as this mogger guy that was high-status in a good fraternity and excelling in school. This wasn't reality, so when that came crashing down, the relationship ended.

During all this time I was still passing 0 exams, 0 courses.

I was extremely positive in my mindset at this point though. Losing my virginity to a girl like this, getting relationship experience. Now things can finally go well with women right?

Nope. I got a few one-night stands with girls, but nothing ever sticked.

I ended up wasting another full year in the same fraternity and trying to replicate the results I got with this girl I had my first relationship with.

0 success.

I ended up growing out my hair to try a different vibe/style.

Years went by with almost no real progress in life.

Didn't pass courses.
Started another mental-healthcare therapy that led nowhere
Dating didn't go anywhere
Didn't make any real new social circles

Covid happened.

Had a couple of different jobs.
Lost all of my money in failed investments.

Dated a german artsy girl for almost a year in 2021. Didn't go anywhere.

Boom it's 2022.

I still didn't pass a single course (1/12 of a year) since 2017 (!!!). 5 years and not a single exam passed.

And life is where I am now:

27yo.

-6 years behind my peers in my academic/career achievements.
-still inexperienced with romance/sex/relationships. About 9 years behind here.
-no family (ended up ditching them all together as I considered them toxic).
-few friends I had are gone.

0 money (and also 100k in student debt).
No degree. (But I could still finish this physics degree I havent passed a single course for in 6 years though jfl)




Thoughts?

Ur a good looking guy surprised u were a khhv so long. Did u tell ur first gf u were a virgin? What height r u ?

 

[MoggerGaston]

Ur a good looking guy surprised u were a khhv so long. Did u tell ur first gf u were a virgin? What height r u ?

Yeah I told her, but I lied and said I kissed girls before. 6'0


tbh I was 3PSL truecel in my teenage years. I only started becoming normie in looks from ~21yo onwards

 

[Deleted member 20399]

Yeah I told her, but I lied and said I kissed girls before. 6'0


tbh I was 3PSL truecel in my teenage years. I only started becoming normie in looks from ~21yo onwards

How short is 6 foot in Netherlands

 

[MoggerGaston]

How short is 6 foot in Netherlands

avg

 

[EverythingMattersCel]

Everything is futile.

 

[Deleted member 22639]

Move places
Switch to a good degree
Take test or tren or other steroids, if nothing depression med worked then this is it, can’t believe you haven’t done yet
There are still legitimate Christian married couples and families here in the US

 

[Deleted member 2130]

@syobevoli here

Extremely long text incoming. If u dont want to read, leave.

I hope some youngcels can learn something from my life story maybe. I am a 27yo guy right now that is basically a NEET about to go ER. But it wasn't always like this, but maybe it was always meant to be.


I was never the hardest working student, but my 128IQ carried me hard in school to the point where at the age of 17 (when you graduate high-school in the netherlands) I was among the top 1% scoring students of the country, which gave me access to every single university and program I wanted to get into.

At the age of 17 though I was:
-Abused by my parents.
-KHHV truecel
-Had a small social circle of gamer-nerds as only friends. No women.
-Depressed

I had free access to med school in the netherlands. But I deemed it too easy and a waste of time for someone like me. So I rejected it.
Note: Med school is the mostly highly sought after education in the netherlands, it's extremely hard to get in (everyone wants it), but once you are in it is easy and low-skill. Just memorization and reproduction.

Ended up thinking of doing a gap-year or something cuz I hated my life and didn't know what to do. My parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't go to university right away or got a job to support myself instead.

These threats led to me enrolling myself into Physics. It was considered the hardest program that this country had to offer and I hoped it would motivate me to excell. I hoped I would finally find the validation and appreciation I never got in life if I did well in this program. I hoped it would make me enjoy my life again, also I was always really good in physics in high school.

My parents refused to support me financially to study in another city, so I was forced to commute to this new university in another city from home. This took 4 hours every day, I had to wake up 6:15AM in the morning and generally i would get home at 8PM.

I would get home at 8PM, eat, play games 2-3 hours, go to bed. Repeat. Life was brutal.
I was still a truecel. I made some acquintainces mainly some guys that were also very smart that worked together with me at university. But nothing that lasted beyond the lecture halls.

I didn't get motivated and was getting less motivated as time went on. The loneliness was getting to me and I was looking for 'ways out of life' with videogames.

I still passed my first 2 years of physics with decent grades (Top ~30% and considered talented, but nothing special). Third year I got into a legal argument with my university and I had to go to court over being allowed to make a certain exam. Ended up losing the court-battle which led to requiring an additional 3 months to get a certain exam done. It was brutal to me because I considered the university to be a place where students would be supported, instead of actively be fought in court-battles over being allowed to make a fucking exam.

This court-battle that I lost felt like a brutal stab in the back. I was eagerly looking for any type of validation or appreciation for what I was doing, but instead I was getting sabotaged over shitty rules that (later I discovered) where hardly enforced anyways. Only somehow in my case they strictly were. (Not being allowed to make a certain exam, made it impossible for me to pass a certain course, which made it inevitable to for me to get a delayed graduation)

This same year I started looksmaxxing. I was 20yo at this point and didn't know of the blackpill. I started going to the gym and tracking calories to lose weight. Ended up losing interest in university and skipping lectures. Failing more and more courses, but still passing some here and there.

I now had a completed 1st + 2nd year. But a failed 3rd year of university. It's a 3-year program by the way. So I am basically 2/3 on the way now.

The next year, I passed only a single course (1/12 of a year) which basically means I didn't progress at all. I hardly went to my university anymore as the commute was too brutal and I lost interest. Resulting in a complete year wasted. I was completely demotivated in life and in my studies.
I took all the bluepilled advice and went to my general practitioner who send me through to a therapist to treat my depression.

I got on SSRI's right away, started doing weekly therapy sessions talking about my issues. In the mean-time still going to the gym, socializing with my nerd-friends, playing videogames, but hardly working on my studies.

SSRI's didn't work at all (escitalopram (called lexapro in the US) didnt work at all) and therapy wasnt making any progress whatsoever in a year time. Ended up switching therapists 3 times but to no avail.

At this time I also first installed dating apps (age 22). Hardly got any matches. Went on 1 date with a girl that rejected me. Whatever. My dating profile looked like this:
View attachment 1982987

I considered online-dating a waste of time and deleted Tinder. Instead I started social-maxxing. Mainly by going clubbing more often, but also by joining (latin) dance courses in the city that I studied at. Hoping to connect and interact with more women that way.

This is how I looked like at this point (age 22)

This was brutally unsuccesfull. All the interactions I was getting from women in clubs were negative and that of brutal rejection. Women in clubs wanted low-inhib beasts, not a 22yo mediocre looking KHHV.

The girls at my dance club were more positive and I got some more positive interactions there. But nothing ever led anywhere.


At 22yo I considered it time to make more drastic changes. I conspired to leave my elderly abusive home and arranged for a student-dorm without their knowledge as I knew they wouldn't agree with it.

Once I had it all arranged, I notified my parents of my departure and they had the brutal response that I expected: They told me I was disowned as a child and I was to receive absolutely 0 help with anything ever if I go through with these plans. They also had my cousins and their family talk to me to tell me that it would be terrible thing to move out.

I ended up moving out anyways without their support, but once I started arranging things, suddenly my parents started helping me again to move my shit to here. Pretending like they were always ready for me (brutal narc abusive gaslighting retard parents pill).

Anyways I ended up having to ditch my old therapist from my old city. And applied to new mental health-care in my new city.

This is the time I found the blackpill (age 23).

Nothing really changed except for me playing less videogames and spending more times on blackpill forums/discord/reddits.

Mental-healthcare was shit and ended up not vibing at all with my therapist. I dropped it and focused on self-improvement against. Started reading a lot about stoicicism, meditation-techniques and mindfullness. Also joined group yoga-classes, group running classes.

Unfortunately all to no avail and I wasted another year with 0 classes passed. But leanmaxxing was going well:

Next study-year I considered myself 'looksmaxxed enough' to start social-maxxing hardcore.

I doubled down on my (latin) dance classes and started doing 2 classes at once. But more importantly: I joined a student fraternity in the new city that I now lived in.

This fraternity is one of the biggest of my city and considered the 'top of student-life' basically, if you know what I mean.

i was also at my leanest and best-looking at this period of time tbh.


Results:

At my dancing classes I got told I look like a player/fuckboy (despite still being KHHV). Girls didn't really like me and weren't friendly to me, except my most common dance-partner that was somewhat open to me. I could've had a chance with her in hindsight if I pushed it myself, but I didn't and neither did she. So nothing ended up happening.

More importantly, my fraternity: I partied hard here 2-3 days per week. With absolutely ZERO results. I was 22yo and a lot of the people there considered me 'oldcel' already. Since I was new there I was coupled/paired with fresh students (18yo) and I was constantly being told how weird it was for a 22yo like me to be around 18yo's. Ngl it was very brutal and ofcourse also had to do with how old I looke due to my poor collagen and hairline. The 18-20yo girls wanted nothing to do with me.


Luckily around this time I met my first ever girl I kissed, had sex with, first girlfriend. Through tinder, pure luck tbh, I was hardly getting matches but this girl pulled through.
View attachment 1983024

It was a long-distance relationship and she thought of me as this mogger guy that was high-status in a good fraternity and excelling in school. This wasn't reality, so when that came crashing down, the relationship ended.

During all this time I was still passing 0 exams, 0 courses.

I was extremely positive in my mindset at this point though. Losing my virginity to a girl like this, getting relationship experience. Now things can finally go well with women right?

Nope. I got a few one-night stands with girls, but nothing ever sticked.

I ended up wasting another full year in the same fraternity and trying to replicate the results I got with this girl I had my first relationship with.

0 success.

I ended up growing out my hair to try a different vibe/style.

Years went by with almost no real progress in life.

Didn't pass courses.
Started another mental-healthcare therapy that led nowhere
Dating didn't go anywhere
Didn't make any real new social circles

Covid happened.

Had a couple of different jobs.
Lost all of my money in failed investments.

Dated a german artsy girl for almost a year in 2021. Didn't go anywhere.

Boom it's 2022.

I still didn't pass a single course (1/12 of a year) since 2017 (!!!). 5 years and not a single exam passed.

And life is where I am now:

27yo.

-6 years behind my peers in my academic/career achievements.
-still inexperienced with romance/sex/relationships. About 9 years behind here.
-no family (ended up ditching them all together as I considered them toxic).
-few friends I had are gone.

0 money (and also 100k in student debt).
No degree. (But I could still finish this physics degree I havent passed a single course for in 6 years though jfl)




Thoughts?

Have you tried psychedelics? Psilocybin, LSD. Do it if ketamine doesn't help. That is your only chance at rewiring your brain or maybe an atypical antidepressant. It is clear that SSRIs don't help you, I don't know why retarded shrinks keep prescribing that all the time

 

[Deleted member 17920]

read every word

absolutely brutal

 

[Deleted member 23558]

Bro your journey is so similar to mine and my life can you give me any advice I’m 22, an year before the age you got blackpilled . What do you think I should do? Any advice would be much appreciated.

 

[Deleted member 17920]

Bro your journey is so similar to mine and my life can you give me any advice I’m 22, an year before the age you got blackpilled . What do you think I should do? Any advice would be much appreciated.

why u wtf react me

 

[MoggerGaston]

Bro your journey is so similar to mine and my life can you give me any advice I’m 22, an year before the age you got blackpilled . What do you think I should do? Any advice would be much appreciated.

I am still stuck in the same place as when I was 23 :/

only advice I can give is don't do what I did

 

[Deleted member 20652]

This is a sad life story bro. Nothing worse than financial poverty.

//Nick Wilde

 

[thegoat]

Echoes myself in a lot of ways altho im virgin. I got god-tier high school marks which got me into medicine. However it's a postgrad course, so i did some easy af useless undergrad degree and essentially spent 3 years rotting and my mental health degenerated to shit... ergo just now in 2022 I failed first year of medicine.

Tbh can you provide further explanation as to how you failed that much shit? My failing is mainly due to being an absolute irrational retard, i dont even think im that depressed, however whenever I'd go to study i'd always be cycling blackpilled thoughts about how this effort and life in general is not worth it as a KHHV 22 year old. I used to be incredibly ambitious, but now due to the IRL experiences I've had with women I don't even want to partake in the normie lifestyle, id rather rot.

Rn I'm tossing up between repeating med or pivoting to compsci, because its easier despite the lower pay (i dont have much ambition to moneymaxx). If i pivot I will be 4 years behind my peers which is very brutal since I teramogged them in hs, so i kinda know what ur feeling

 

[Deleted member 19036]

Start a new life in a new country, become a brand new person, finish your education, and give it a shot to make MGTOW youtube videos to become mega rich

unironically based advice

 

[MoggerGaston]

Echoes myself in a lot of ways altho im virgin. I got god-tier high school marks which got me into medicine. However it's a postgrad course, so i did some easy af useless undergrad degree and essentially spent 3 years rotting and my mental health degenerated to shit... ergo just now in 2022 I failed first year of medicine.

Tbh can you provide further explanation as to how you failed that much shit? My failing is mainly due to being an absolute irrational retard, i dont even think im that depressed, however whenever I'd go to study i'd always be cycling blackpilled thoughts about how this effort and life in general is not worth it as a KHHV 22 year old. I used to be incredibly ambitious, but now due to the IRL experiences I've had with women I don't even want to partake in the normie lifestyle, id rather rot.

Rn I'm tossing up between repeating med or pivoting to compsci, because its easier despite the lower pay (i dont have much ambition to moneymaxx). If i pivot I will be 4 years behind my peers which is very brutal since I teramogged them in hs, so i kinda know what ur feeling

I failed because I can't focus to study enough to actually pass anything. When I try to sit down to study, its like you say, I start thinking about what I am actually doing with my life, and how much I hate it.

i think shit like: 'lol here I am studying calculus while I have no money, no friends, no girlfriend, and I hate my life. How the fuck is calculus or this degree gonna fix any of that in the short-term?' and then I lsoe interest.

idk what advice to give, i still struggly with this.

 

[max_frisch]

I failed because I can't focus to study enough to actually pass anything. When I try to sit down to study, its like you say, I start thinking about what I am actually doing with my life, and how much I hate it.

i think shit like: 'lol here I am studying calculus while I have no money, no friends, no girlfriend, and I hate my life. How the fuck is calculus or this degree gonna fix any of that in the short-term?' and then I lsoe interest.

idk what advice to give, i still struggly with this.

you did pass exams in the pasts though

 

[MoggerGaston]

you did pass exams in the pasts though

I passed every exam of the first 2 years, a few of the 3rd year, and then failed to pass a single one for the past 7 years. essentially still stuck with those 3rd year exams i still need to finish.

 

[Solar]

fuck man

this might be my future

except the financial part hopefully lol

 

[Ronnie]

I ain’t gonna read allat but yes OP I have rotted in my bedroom and haven’t learn a single new thing. My brain has definitely retarded. I’m basically still carrying the knowledge that I know from high school. Luckily I studied a lot and was on the honor roll so the IQ drop has not devastated me that much. But it’s noticeable. I can’t even learn a new language bc my retardation not like I really needed to

 

[max_frisch]

I passed every exam of the first 2 years, a few of the 3rd year, and then failed to pass a single one for the past 7 years. essentially still stuck with those 3rd year exams i still need to finish.

its very simple, you need to stop being bitch now. its all up to you

 

[Deleted member 22063]

I passed every exam of the first 2 years, a few of the 3rd year, and then failed to pass a single one for the past 7 years. essentially still stuck with those 3rd year exams i still need to finish.

bro why didn't you switch to something else instead of repeating a year of class for seven years

 

[MoggerGaston]

bro why didn't you switch to something else instead of repeating a year of class for seven years

youre not making sense

the issue was not the studies. the issue was that studying at all was no longer a priority.

it wouldnt have mattered if I did something else if I didnt want to study at all

 

[Foreverbrad]

This is so very relatable.

I’m 29 and I’ll never be able to progress in my life cause I can’t get over missing out on teen love, or even just casual sex. And they called you oldcel already at 22, that’s brutal. It’s going to take looksmaxing miracles to fraud my age back to 20 at 30+.

 

[king_bandon]

@syobevoli here

Extremely long text incoming. If u dont want to read, leave.

I hope some youngcels can learn something from my life story maybe. I am a 27yo guy right now that is basically a NEET about to go ER. But it wasn't always like this, but maybe it was always meant to be.


I was never the hardest working student, but my 128IQ carried me hard in school to the point where at the age of 17 (when you graduate high-school in the netherlands) I was among the top 1% scoring students of the country, which gave me access to every single university and program I wanted to get into.

At the age of 17 though I was:
-Abused by my parents.
-KHHV truecel
-Had a small social circle of gamer-nerds as only friends. No women.
-Depressed

I had free access to med school in the netherlands. But I deemed it too easy and a waste of time for someone like me. So I rejected it.
Note: Med school is the mostly highly sought after education in the netherlands, it's extremely hard to get in (everyone wants it), but once you are in it is easy and low-skill. Just memorization and reproduction.

Ended up thinking of doing a gap-year or something cuz I hated my life and didn't know what to do. My parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't go to university right away or got a job to support myself instead.

These threats led to me enrolling myself into Physics. It was considered the hardest program that this country had to offer and I hoped it would motivate me to excell. I hoped I would finally find the validation and appreciation I never got in life if I did well in this program. I hoped it would make me enjoy my life again, also I was always really good in physics in high school.

My parents refused to support me financially to study in another city, so I was forced to commute to this new university in another city from home. This took 4 hours every day, I had to wake up 6:15AM in the morning and generally i would get home at 8PM.

I would get home at 8PM, eat, play games 2-3 hours, go to bed. Repeat. Life was brutal.
I was still a truecel. I made some acquintainces mainly some guys that were also very smart that worked together with me at university. But nothing that lasted beyond the lecture halls.

I didn't get motivated and was getting less motivated as time went on. The loneliness was getting to me and I was looking for 'ways out of life' with videogames.

I still passed my first 2 years of physics with decent grades (Top ~30% and considered talented, but nothing special). Third year I got into a legal argument with my university and I had to go to court over being allowed to make a certain exam. Ended up losing the court-battle which led to requiring an additional 3 months to get a certain exam done. It was brutal to me because I considered the university to be a place where students would be supported, instead of actively be fought in court-battles over being allowed to make a fucking exam.

This court-battle that I lost felt like a brutal stab in the back. I was eagerly looking for any type of validation or appreciation for what I was doing, but instead I was getting sabotaged over shitty rules that (later I discovered) where hardly enforced anyways. Only somehow in my case they strictly were. (Not being allowed to make a certain exam, made it impossible for me to pass a certain course, which made it inevitable to for me to get a delayed graduation)

This same year I started looksmaxxing. I was 20yo at this point and didn't know of the blackpill. I started going to the gym and tracking calories to lose weight. Ended up losing interest in university and skipping lectures. Failing more and more courses, but still passing some here and there.

I now had a completed 1st + 2nd year. But a failed 3rd year of university. It's a 3-year program by the way. So I am basically 2/3 on the way now.

The next year, I passed only a single course (1/12 of a year) which basically means I didn't progress at all. I hardly went to my university anymore as the commute was too brutal and I lost interest. Resulting in a complete year wasted. I was completely demotivated in life and in my studies.
I took all the bluepilled advice and went to my general practitioner who send me through to a therapist to treat my depression.

I got on SSRI's right away, started doing weekly therapy sessions talking about my issues. In the mean-time still going to the gym, socializing with my nerd-friends, playing videogames, but hardly working on my studies.

SSRI's didn't work at all (escitalopram (called lexapro in the US) didnt work at all) and therapy wasnt making any progress whatsoever in a year time. Ended up switching therapists 3 times but to no avail.

At this time I also first installed dating apps (age 22). Hardly got any matches. Went on 1 date with a girl that rejected me. Whatever. My dating profile looked like this:
View attachment 1982987

I considered online-dating a waste of time and deleted Tinder. Instead I started social-maxxing. Mainly by going clubbing more often, but also by joining (latin) dance courses in the city that I studied at. Hoping to connect and interact with more women that way.

This is how I looked like at this point (age 22)

This was brutally unsuccesfull. All the interactions I was getting from women in clubs were negative and that of brutal rejection. Women in clubs wanted low-inhib beasts, not a 22yo mediocre looking KHHV.

The girls at my dance club were more positive and I got some more positive interactions there. But nothing ever led anywhere.


At 22yo I considered it time to make more drastic changes. I conspired to leave my elderly abusive home and arranged for a student-dorm without their knowledge as I knew they wouldn't agree with it.

Once I had it all arranged, I notified my parents of my departure and they had the brutal response that I expected: They told me I was disowned as a child and I was to receive absolutely 0 help with anything ever if I go through with these plans. They also had my cousins and their family talk to me to tell me that it would be terrible thing to move out.

I ended up moving out anyways without their support, but once I started arranging things, suddenly my parents started helping me again to move my shit to here. Pretending like they were always ready for me (brutal narc abusive gaslighting retard parents pill).

Anyways I ended up having to ditch my old therapist from my old city. And applied to new mental health-care in my new city.

This is the time I found the blackpill (age 23).

Nothing really changed except for me playing less videogames and spending more times on blackpill forums/discord/reddits.

Mental-healthcare was shit and ended up not vibing at all with my therapist. I dropped it and focused on self-improvement against. Started reading a lot about stoicicism, meditation-techniques and mindfullness. Also joined group yoga-classes, group running classes.

Unfortunately all to no avail and I wasted another year with 0 classes passed. But leanmaxxing was going well:

Next study-year I considered myself 'looksmaxxed enough' to start social-maxxing hardcore.

I doubled down on my (latin) dance classes and started doing 2 classes at once. But more importantly: I joined a student fraternity in the new city that I now lived in.

This fraternity is one of the biggest of my city and considered the 'top of student-life' basically, if you know what I mean.

i was also at my leanest and best-looking at this period of time tbh.


Results:

At my dancing classes I got told I look like a player/fuckboy (despite still being KHHV). Girls didn't really like me and weren't friendly to me, except my most common dance-partner that was somewhat open to me. I could've had a chance with her in hindsight if I pushed it myself, but I didn't and neither did she. So nothing ended up happening.

More importantly, my fraternity: I partied hard here 2-3 days per week. With absolutely ZERO results. I was 22yo and a lot of the people there considered me 'oldcel' already. Since I was new there I was coupled/paired with fresh students (18yo) and I was constantly being told how weird it was for a 22yo like me to be around 18yo's. Ngl it was very brutal and ofcourse also had to do with how old I looke due to my poor collagen and hairline. The 18-20yo girls wanted nothing to do with me.


Luckily around this time I met my first ever girl I kissed, had sex with, first girlfriend. Through tinder, pure luck tbh, I was hardly getting matches but this girl pulled through.
View attachment 1983024

It was a long-distance relationship and she thought of me as this mogger guy that was high-status in a good fraternity and excelling in school. This wasn't reality, so when that came crashing down, the relationship ended.

During all this time I was still passing 0 exams, 0 courses.

I was extremely positive in my mindset at this point though. Losing my virginity to a girl like this, getting relationship experience. Now things can finally go well with women right?

Nope. I got a few one-night stands with girls, but nothing ever sticked.

I ended up wasting another full year in the same fraternity and trying to replicate the results I got with this girl I had my first relationship with.

0 success.

I ended up growing out my hair to try a different vibe/style.

Years went by with almost no real progress in life.

Didn't pass courses.
Started another mental-healthcare therapy that led nowhere
Dating didn't go anywhere
Didn't make any real new social circles

Covid happened.

Had a couple of different jobs.
Lost all of my money in failed investments.

Dated a german artsy girl for almost a year in 2021. Didn't go anywhere.

Boom it's 2022.

I still didn't pass a single course (1/12 of a year) since 2017 (!!!). 5 years and not a single exam passed.

And life is where I am now:

27yo.

-6 years behind my peers in my academic/career achievements.
-still inexperienced with romance/sex/relationships. About 9 years behind here.
-no family (ended up ditching them all together as I considered them toxic).
-few friends I had are gone.

0 money (and also 100k in student debt).
No degree. (But I could still finish this physics degree I havent passed a single course for in 6 years though jfl)




Thoughts?

It's not over for you yet bro. Pick yourself up and start again. It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything.

 

[MoggerGaston]

This is so very relatable.

I’m 29 and I’ll never be able to progress in my life cause I can’t get over missing out on teen love, or even just casual sex. And they called you oldcel already at 22, that’s brutal. It’s going to take looksmaxing miracles to fraud my age back to 20 at 30+.

I have really big traumatic wounds that i can't get over. Produced from a combination of social isolation, sexual rejection and child-abuse from my parents.

It's kept me stuck in place, depressed, for about a decade now. It's brutal.