appeal_clone
Silver
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2026
- Posts
- 603
- Reputation
- 373
I have many reasons to stay alive, but no reason to get up in the morning, work, take out the trash, anything.
There's nothing in my life I wake up in the morning looking forward to. I feel like a lot of other college kids work hard to play hard, but when you don't go out to bars to drink, ie blow off steam and forget about your problems, it feels like there's no purpose in working on anything.
I keep putting off things I need to do, which means in my head they become harder and when I finally get around to addressing them the consequences for not doing them sooner will be bigger, which only makes me want to delay confrontation more. It's weird when you'd rather do 100 pushups than check your email.
I studied abroad this spring and since I agreed to do research at the abroad uni during June, I've gone multiple day stretches where I don't leave my room. I survive off the small food I have in my dorm and I just wake up, doom-scroll, which I don't even gain any fulfillment from, and then sleep, in the process losing hella weight. My sleep schedule got so messed up it was from like 10am-8pm.
I haven't been to church in over 2 months, much less read my Bible, I've barely spoken to anyone, and I feel awful.
Let me be clear, I have many reasons to stay alive; I will not kms under any means. However I have nothing in my life to live for. I'm currently so far from my parents that their pressure on me to do anything that existed in high school when I was around them everyday has vanished since I went to college, and especially when I went abroad.
I'm going to Switzerland to hike in the Alps for 2 weeks, something I've had planned for like 2 years. I do not care how much money I have to spend on the trip; I hope to gain some reason, any reason, to live.
There's nothing in my life I wake up in the morning looking forward to. I feel like a lot of other college kids work hard to play hard, but when you don't go out to bars to drink, ie blow off steam and forget about your problems, it feels like there's no purpose in working on anything.
I keep putting off things I need to do, which means in my head they become harder and when I finally get around to addressing them the consequences for not doing them sooner will be bigger, which only makes me want to delay confrontation more. It's weird when you'd rather do 100 pushups than check your email.
I studied abroad this spring and since I agreed to do research at the abroad uni during June, I've gone multiple day stretches where I don't leave my room. I survive off the small food I have in my dorm and I just wake up, doom-scroll, which I don't even gain any fulfillment from, and then sleep, in the process losing hella weight. My sleep schedule got so messed up it was from like 10am-8pm.
I haven't been to church in over 2 months, much less read my Bible, I've barely spoken to anyone, and I feel awful.
Let me be clear, I have many reasons to stay alive; I will not kms under any means. However I have nothing in my life to live for. I'm currently so far from my parents that their pressure on me to do anything that existed in high school when I was around them everyday has vanished since I went to college, and especially when I went abroad.
I'm going to Switzerland to hike in the Alps for 2 weeks, something I've had planned for like 2 years. I do not care how much money I have to spend on the trip; I hope to gain some reason, any reason, to live.