FaceandBBC
Leader of the Black Hebrew Movement
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2022
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In my computer science classes, there's a guy, let's call him "Jay." He fits the stereotype of the nerdy "incel" to a tee—too skinny, not easy on the eyes, awkward, and deep into his programming and gaming hobbies. He's the kind of guy who's mostly invisible in the social scene and totally inexperienced with women.
We started chatting casually after class, and it was glaringly obvious that he hadn't had much interaction with women, much less any romantic experiences. He complained about how sad and lonely he is and how he’s a kissless virgin. There's something about this type of guy—the overlooked and undervalued—that I find irresistibly attractive, or more accurately, it's a power trip for me. So, I made a move and invited him over to my dorm room one evening.
The night unfolded as you might expect. For Jay, the attention from someone like me—a woman who is often described as extremely attractive—must have been overwhelming. We ended up sleeping together. To me, it was an experience, a notch on my belt. To him, it might have been much more. I even let him cum inside me without a condom.
After our encounter, Jay didn’t take the hint that it was just a one-time thing. He bombarded me with messages, seeking more of my attention, clearly more attached than I anticipated. His clinginess started to irritate me, and in a moment of frustration and perhaps cruelty, I snapped. I told him that what we had was probably the only sexual experience he would ever have, and then I blocked him.
This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. I tend to seek out virgins or socially awkward men, have my fun, and then discard them when they become too much for me. There’s a thrill in being their first and knowing I'm likely their only. It boosts my ego, gives me a sense of control. I know this might be damaging to them, but the truth is, there’s a part of me that enjoys it—the power, the dominance. I get off thinking about them crying to sleep at night, knowing I’ll be the only woman who ever showed them love, but they’ll never ever touch me again. They’ll probably remember me for the rest of their pathetic lives. I showed them a glimpse of love and sex and then snatched it away from them
For the whole rest of their lives they’ll painfully know what they’re missing out on.
I am sharing this not because I’m seeking advice on how to change or make amends. I'm not sure I want to change. This behavior is a dark part of who I am, and I'm oddly at peace with that.
We started chatting casually after class, and it was glaringly obvious that he hadn't had much interaction with women, much less any romantic experiences. He complained about how sad and lonely he is and how he’s a kissless virgin. There's something about this type of guy—the overlooked and undervalued—that I find irresistibly attractive, or more accurately, it's a power trip for me. So, I made a move and invited him over to my dorm room one evening.
The night unfolded as you might expect. For Jay, the attention from someone like me—a woman who is often described as extremely attractive—must have been overwhelming. We ended up sleeping together. To me, it was an experience, a notch on my belt. To him, it might have been much more. I even let him cum inside me without a condom.
After our encounter, Jay didn’t take the hint that it was just a one-time thing. He bombarded me with messages, seeking more of my attention, clearly more attached than I anticipated. His clinginess started to irritate me, and in a moment of frustration and perhaps cruelty, I snapped. I told him that what we had was probably the only sexual experience he would ever have, and then I blocked him.
This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. I tend to seek out virgins or socially awkward men, have my fun, and then discard them when they become too much for me. There’s a thrill in being their first and knowing I'm likely their only. It boosts my ego, gives me a sense of control. I know this might be damaging to them, but the truth is, there’s a part of me that enjoys it—the power, the dominance. I get off thinking about them crying to sleep at night, knowing I’ll be the only woman who ever showed them love, but they’ll never ever touch me again. They’ll probably remember me for the rest of their pathetic lives. I showed them a glimpse of love and sex and then snatched it away from them
For the whole rest of their lives they’ll painfully know what they’re missing out on.I am sharing this not because I’m seeking advice on how to change or make amends. I'm not sure I want to change. This behavior is a dark part of who I am, and I'm oddly at peace with that.
