esoterik
Luminary
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- Oct 19, 2023
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context: i made 2 threads, when i matched with a hmtb and asked what to say. then she asked for a date, so pretty much, we went to dinner, we had a ok time, i was obviously fidgeting with shit, but we got done, we went to her house, we ate ice cream cones, and talked, we sat down, watched a show (no clue what it was tbh, it was one of those like marvel tv shows disney+ has, i dont keep up anymore) and we sat for like 5 minutes until we kinda started cuddling in this position
it was the couch so there wasnt much space and i kinda had to put my arm around her waist, best feeling ever, i couldnt even focus on the show, i know she felt my heart beating on her back, because bro, it was racing, after like 15 minutes she kinda scoots closer to me and... the best way i can describe it is, it was like the spooning image above, but more of her tucked into me, after the episode, she paused it, and asked if i was ok, with her head kinda tucked into my neck, at this point bro, im so lost i forgot we were even watching shit for a brief period of time, im so focused on touching a girl and cuddling with a girl for the first time, but she kinda turns her head towards me and... i dont know how to explain it but, its when you give someone a facial expression or say stuff without talking, she just kinda gave me a smirk that told me everything, at this point im shitting bricks, this shit is actually happening, so i nod
next part is explicit and detailed for the ones that want to know how it feels, how real life sex works (way diff then i thought) and my experience
then we put our clothes together and watched half a episode before i got too embarrassed and nervious to continue, i said i had to leave, and i kinda hugged her goodbye, she said thanks for dinner, and said she had fun, this is kinda weird to me
i know a few people said not to have sex raw, but i honestly dont really know the issue, tbh i dont even know how serious a std or any of that is, but i seem fine right now
this motivates me much more to get surgery, so this can happen more often and not rely on luck, hopefully my upcoming consultation with pag doesnt end in disaster
anyway, thanks for reading
@eon @BigBallsLarry @davidlaidisme67 @Bryce @zemult @Gaygymmaxx
it was the couch so there wasnt much space and i kinda had to put my arm around her waist, best feeling ever, i couldnt even focus on the show, i know she felt my heart beating on her back, because bro, it was racing, after like 15 minutes she kinda scoots closer to me and... the best way i can describe it is, it was like the spooning image above, but more of her tucked into me, after the episode, she paused it, and asked if i was ok, with her head kinda tucked into my neck, at this point bro, im so lost i forgot we were even watching shit for a brief period of time, im so focused on touching a girl and cuddling with a girl for the first time, but she kinda turns her head towards me and... i dont know how to explain it but, its when you give someone a facial expression or say stuff without talking, she just kinda gave me a smirk that told me everything, at this point im shitting bricks, this shit is actually happening, so i nod
next part is explicit and detailed for the ones that want to know how it feels, how real life sex works (way diff then i thought) and my experience
so, first thing was, she wanted me to give her oral sex first which, i didnt expect to give mutual oral, i guess cause i only watched porn up to this point but, i thought it was going to taste like skittles and rainbows, but it tastes like a battery or a cable cord lol, i dont know how to explain, but its like.... yeah, that, but it was also soft af, she was cleaned shaved
then it was my turn, i was taking off my pants and.... it was really setting in, my blood pressure was through the fucking roof, like as i was taking off my pants it felt like my arms could fall the fuck off, anyway, the couch is near ground level so she kneeled on the floor, mind you, she knows im a virgin (i accidently told her) so shes kinda being soft but, when i saw her between my knees, i just thought, damn, i made it so far in life, but when i felt the wet touch of her lips sealing, it felt like.... your on a fast rollercoster and your making your way to the top before being dropped, at that moment, i was at the top of the roller coster, and in my mind i literally said "oh shit", then fast forward like 5 seconds when shes 2nd stroke, i was already making involinutary movement and sound, like my legs and toes were doing weird shit, and i was making growns and noises, i tried to supress all of this by biting my lip and trying to keep my legs still, but, i couldnt do anything, i tried to act nonchalant, but i was folding the second i started, i uttered the words "uhh" then she stopped, then i asked her "can u slow down a bit" and she kinda came back up to ask me "is this your first bj?" UH YEAH, I SAID I WAS A VIRGIN
(although i guess some people think blowjob does not count so yuh) but i said, "yeah, and honestly, im probably not going to last much longer if u keep doing that", so we move on to the main dish.... sex
she stands up and sits beside me, at this point i dont know if i should pull the condom out or try to get her to forget (she did mention that she was having side effects of birth control, which im a bit autistic, but i dont know if this was her indirectly telling me it didnt matter?), so i just let it ride, she kinda spreads out, but her left leg hits the coushin so its blocking the full spread so it was a bit awkward, but i kind guide it there...... and to be honest, i should'nt share the next part publically because this is probably the most embarrassing thing of my life, but i didnt realize the actual vagina or the thing u put ur pp in was at the bottom, i thought it was the whole thing, i never noticed that in porn videos somehow lol, so i tried to put it in at like the middle-ish spot and she laughed.... at that point i was so confused, but she redirected it, and bro, i wanted to leave and kill my self right there
so i dont know if this is a instinct or just because of porn but i kinda rub my pp over the vagina before i put it in, and it was soft af, supa soft, but i kinda insert it in, no lube, but trying to insert it in, it felt like... a barrier, but not like a solid barrier, a semi solid barrier, i could tell that it was malleable but she kinda had to wet everything down, so i try to insert it again, and this time, it felt still like a barrier but i could tell i was making progress, like it was slowly going in, and boy....
it felt weird.... like a moisty enveloped enviroment, it felt amazing-ish (it was tight, but not in the way i expected, i guess death grip), and tbh, i had like... my tip and a bit of my shaft inserted and i kinda just sat there, making that face when your holding in a shit, and holding my breath, trying to savior every second because i knew i wasnt going to last much longer, and i dont want to sound... like its over but honestly, alot of the pleasure came from the fact that i am having sex with a pretty girl, without using condoms, not the actual puss its self, so i kinda put my arms arching over her so i can stand up on my own, and im making little ass movement as possible, like 10 seconds in, and i still havent even done a full stroke (it sounds dramatic, but imagine going 18 years your life, not even holding hands with a girl yet, before this, my peak contact with a girl was high fiving a girl when we finished a school project back in high school) so im making weird breathing patterns that i didnt even notice until really now, anyway, i get to fulling enveloping my pp and it was pretty nice, i last like 2-3 more strokes and i pull out, and honestly, im kinda lost on what to do then, so i kinda stroke it and point it to her leg/thigh, i didnt know if i could cum on her stomach, or near her vagina, she sees me pointing and stroking and she redirects me to her stomach, which was pretty autistic but eh, what ever
i felt pretty judged during it, not in a good or bad way, but i thought it was going to be alot sweeter, where she thinks its cute or pure that shes taking my virginity, but nah, not really tbh, i guess i could tell she was maybe going a little softer on me tho
then it was my turn, i was taking off my pants and.... it was really setting in, my blood pressure was through the fucking roof, like as i was taking off my pants it felt like my arms could fall the fuck off, anyway, the couch is near ground level so she kneeled on the floor, mind you, she knows im a virgin (i accidently told her) so shes kinda being soft but, when i saw her between my knees, i just thought, damn, i made it so far in life, but when i felt the wet touch of her lips sealing, it felt like.... your on a fast rollercoster and your making your way to the top before being dropped, at that moment, i was at the top of the roller coster, and in my mind i literally said "oh shit", then fast forward like 5 seconds when shes 2nd stroke, i was already making involinutary movement and sound, like my legs and toes were doing weird shit, and i was making growns and noises, i tried to supress all of this by biting my lip and trying to keep my legs still, but, i couldnt do anything, i tried to act nonchalant, but i was folding the second i started, i uttered the words "uhh" then she stopped, then i asked her "can u slow down a bit" and she kinda came back up to ask me "is this your first bj?" UH YEAH, I SAID I WAS A VIRGIN
(although i guess some people think blowjob does not count so yuh) but i said, "yeah, and honestly, im probably not going to last much longer if u keep doing that", so we move on to the main dish.... sexshe stands up and sits beside me, at this point i dont know if i should pull the condom out or try to get her to forget (she did mention that she was having side effects of birth control, which im a bit autistic, but i dont know if this was her indirectly telling me it didnt matter?), so i just let it ride, she kinda spreads out, but her left leg hits the coushin so its blocking the full spread so it was a bit awkward, but i kind guide it there...... and to be honest, i should'nt share the next part publically because this is probably the most embarrassing thing of my life, but i didnt realize the actual vagina or the thing u put ur pp in was at the bottom, i thought it was the whole thing, i never noticed that in porn videos somehow lol, so i tried to put it in at like the middle-ish spot and she laughed.... at that point i was so confused, but she redirected it, and bro, i wanted to leave and kill my self right there
so i dont know if this is a instinct or just because of porn but i kinda rub my pp over the vagina before i put it in, and it was soft af, supa soft, but i kinda insert it in, no lube, but trying to insert it in, it felt like... a barrier, but not like a solid barrier, a semi solid barrier, i could tell that it was malleable but she kinda had to wet everything down, so i try to insert it again, and this time, it felt still like a barrier but i could tell i was making progress, like it was slowly going in, and boy....
it felt weird.... like a moisty enveloped enviroment, it felt amazing-ish (it was tight, but not in the way i expected, i guess death grip), and tbh, i had like... my tip and a bit of my shaft inserted and i kinda just sat there, making that face when your holding in a shit, and holding my breath, trying to savior every second because i knew i wasnt going to last much longer, and i dont want to sound... like its over but honestly, alot of the pleasure came from the fact that i am having sex with a pretty girl, without using condoms, not the actual puss its self, so i kinda put my arms arching over her so i can stand up on my own, and im making little ass movement as possible, like 10 seconds in, and i still havent even done a full stroke (it sounds dramatic, but imagine going 18 years your life, not even holding hands with a girl yet, before this, my peak contact with a girl was high fiving a girl when we finished a school project back in high school) so im making weird breathing patterns that i didnt even notice until really now, anyway, i get to fulling enveloping my pp and it was pretty nice, i last like 2-3 more strokes and i pull out, and honestly, im kinda lost on what to do then, so i kinda stroke it and point it to her leg/thigh, i didnt know if i could cum on her stomach, or near her vagina, she sees me pointing and stroking and she redirects me to her stomach, which was pretty autistic but eh, what ever
i felt pretty judged during it, not in a good or bad way, but i thought it was going to be alot sweeter, where she thinks its cute or pure that shes taking my virginity, but nah, not really tbh, i guess i could tell she was maybe going a little softer on me tho
then we put our clothes together and watched half a episode before i got too embarrassed and nervious to continue, i said i had to leave, and i kinda hugged her goodbye, she said thanks for dinner, and said she had fun, this is kinda weird to me
i know a few people said not to have sex raw, but i honestly dont really know the issue, tbh i dont even know how serious a std or any of that is, but i seem fine right now
this motivates me much more to get surgery, so this can happen more often and not rely on luck, hopefully my upcoming consultation with pag doesnt end in disaster
anyway, thanks for reading
@eon @BigBallsLarry @davidlaidisme67 @Bryce @zemult @Gaygymmaxx
