saga
Iron
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2021
- Posts
- 97
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- 163
I booked an expensive restaurant to go out on a date with my girlfriend. And then a hotel room to spend one night out together with a view on a lake, 30 minutes from our home. Since we had our kid 7 months ago and because of restrictions, we couldn't do a lot together outside. And we had not have sex or have a some intimate moments since the second month of her pregnancy, so more than 1 year ago.
She keep telling me she is stressed, she doesn't feel herself and so on, and I respect and understand that of course. I even proposed therapy for her if she felt overwhelmed by everything. She refused. Even tough I help her whenever and however I can, I know that between work, kid, traffic she is very tired So I tought it was a good idea to surprise her. I bought her some roses and got home asking her to have a relaxing bath and wear whatever made her feel beautiful since we were going out on a date, just me and her. My mother came to our house right after I got home so she could watch after our baby until the next morning.
Her reaction was so, so bad. She told me right away why didn't I ask her first, I told her it was a surprise! She said she was busy with work that night (it was friday evening!) and to call restaurant and hotel and say we couldn't go. And "how dare you do something like this?" She didn't even look at the flowers. We went to our bedroom and I tried to convince her saying that we could have spend some time together, away from the stress, to relax together. I was just trying to make something nice for her. She told me I'm selfish asshole that I didn't ask her If she was in the mood to go out and that I put her in a bad position in front of my mother (her MIL). She told me to sleep on the couch than night.
I apologized the next morning, I dont know about what, I just said sorry and that I would have never done something like this ever again.
But I'm now the one being angry! What did I do wrong? Honestly! I tought it was a nice gesture for her and for us. I really dont understand. We now talk again, but we are both very tense. And I can't get over it. My mom asked me whats going on between us, I really dont know what to tell her.
So, what did I do wrong? Since when surprises are not a good thing for women now?
Edit: an edit since people are attacking me for this. I said the thing about sex, meaning we had not had any kind of intimacy in a long time. Even cuddles are rare now or just a massage for her. We kiss and hug sometimes very fast. I didn't plan all of this for sex! I never pressured her for sex. I would have been happy with just hugging on the balcony drinking some wine, while watching the lake, in silence. She loves romantic things, in general. I always gave her gifts or flowers and she always appreciated it. I said that to her, that I just wanted to spend some time with her, eating some good meals, like the date we used to have a long time ago. As a pre Valentine's day gift. And we were less than 20 kms away. I couldn't plan nothing similar before because of restrictions and her pregnancy that forced her to bedrest for months. My mother babysit the baby every day, she is our babysitter, that's why I called her. My father passed away so she was happy to watch our kid for that night and she watches our kid even for 10 hours a day. My wife and her are in a great relationship.
I got that it was too much and put too much pressure on her, but I love her and wanted to make her smile a lil bit. I meant well.
She keep telling me she is stressed, she doesn't feel herself and so on, and I respect and understand that of course. I even proposed therapy for her if she felt overwhelmed by everything. She refused. Even tough I help her whenever and however I can, I know that between work, kid, traffic she is very tired So I tought it was a good idea to surprise her. I bought her some roses and got home asking her to have a relaxing bath and wear whatever made her feel beautiful since we were going out on a date, just me and her. My mother came to our house right after I got home so she could watch after our baby until the next morning.
Her reaction was so, so bad. She told me right away why didn't I ask her first, I told her it was a surprise! She said she was busy with work that night (it was friday evening!) and to call restaurant and hotel and say we couldn't go. And "how dare you do something like this?" She didn't even look at the flowers. We went to our bedroom and I tried to convince her saying that we could have spend some time together, away from the stress, to relax together. I was just trying to make something nice for her. She told me I'm selfish asshole that I didn't ask her If she was in the mood to go out and that I put her in a bad position in front of my mother (her MIL). She told me to sleep on the couch than night.
I apologized the next morning, I dont know about what, I just said sorry and that I would have never done something like this ever again.
But I'm now the one being angry! What did I do wrong? Honestly! I tought it was a nice gesture for her and for us. I really dont understand. We now talk again, but we are both very tense. And I can't get over it. My mom asked me whats going on between us, I really dont know what to tell her.
So, what did I do wrong? Since when surprises are not a good thing for women now?
Edit: an edit since people are attacking me for this. I said the thing about sex, meaning we had not had any kind of intimacy in a long time. Even cuddles are rare now or just a massage for her. We kiss and hug sometimes very fast. I didn't plan all of this for sex! I never pressured her for sex. I would have been happy with just hugging on the balcony drinking some wine, while watching the lake, in silence. She loves romantic things, in general. I always gave her gifts or flowers and she always appreciated it. I said that to her, that I just wanted to spend some time with her, eating some good meals, like the date we used to have a long time ago. As a pre Valentine's day gift. And we were less than 20 kms away. I couldn't plan nothing similar before because of restrictions and her pregnancy that forced her to bedrest for months. My mother babysit the baby every day, she is our babysitter, that's why I called her. My father passed away so she was happy to watch our kid for that night and she watches our kid even for 10 hours a day. My wife and her are in a great relationship.
I got that it was too much and put too much pressure on her, but I love her and wanted to make her smile a lil bit. I meant well.
