StraightHeadJames
Musician 🏴☠️🏴☠️ of the narcy Pirates
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2022
- Posts
- 3,341
- Reputation
- 4,726
My cope ever since I was 14 "If this doesn't improve, I will just kill myself"
"If I fail this class I will just kill myself"
"If it really goes wrong, I can just kill myself"
But no, I am 18 years old. I might fail the school year even tho I was straight A student in the past, I stopped studying a long time ago.
I have no work ethic. I've been depressed for years, I have no idea what I look like or how I am perceived.
My family is disappointed in me, I used to be so autistic, I still am but I improved. At school I used to hide my face with my hands when someone was sitting next to me, so they won't have to see my face. I never went swimming with friends cause I was insecure about my body. All of this at around 10 years old.
I have a genetically abused brain. I am literally cooked, I could find an escape and save myself, but what can I rely on if my own brain has sabotaged me ever since I know myself? Always was the mute kid.
But how can I ever kill myself? Make my mother and father possibly rope too? Destroy my family and make my girlfriend depressed and my siblings. It's not an option, it never was it was just a cope.
"If I fail this class I will just kill myself"
"If it really goes wrong, I can just kill myself"
But no, I am 18 years old. I might fail the school year even tho I was straight A student in the past, I stopped studying a long time ago.
I have no work ethic. I've been depressed for years, I have no idea what I look like or how I am perceived.
My family is disappointed in me, I used to be so autistic, I still am but I improved. At school I used to hide my face with my hands when someone was sitting next to me, so they won't have to see my face. I never went swimming with friends cause I was insecure about my body. All of this at around 10 years old.
I have a genetically abused brain. I am literally cooked, I could find an escape and save myself, but what can I rely on if my own brain has sabotaged me ever since I know myself? Always was the mute kid.
But how can I ever kill myself? Make my mother and father possibly rope too? Destroy my family and make my girlfriend depressed and my siblings. It's not an option, it never was it was just a cope.