I Relapsed in my long term relationship. what now?

[xex]

Serious Thread, DNR if your un-interested, don't be a faggot.

For reference, I'm in a LTR and I was recovering from a past porn addiction, 2 days after the event occurred I broke down on call with her and confessed what I did in a voice message (which was sent whilst she was sleeping) I still feel incredibly guilty, and she recently told me she still doesn't trust me and feels off when we go on dates or are together. After the whole ordeal I went back to my lustful actions almost immediately (2 days after basically), and to be honest it disgusts me to my core. The whole situation has brought me to the brink of suicide, yet I still strive a future with her so that's off the table. I'm making this thread because I'm lost, I've never really spoke about my problems like this online (besides one other time) and I only do it when I desperately need advice or help. No matter how hard I work or try to better myself I now feel like it'll never be enough. My words aren't enough to describe how I actually feel so I'm sorry if this was a confusing read.

Someone please help me, you can answer here or talk to me in DMS, but I bet this thread will get DNR'D lol, i'm posting on multiple places so I hope at least there's 1 serious response, I need assistance, I'm so lost and I don't want to resort to just crying and sulking all day lol, (my eyes hurt)

Edit: this isn't a pity post lol, just looked at it and thought it looked like I'm attention seeking, DNR if you want

 

[Mansur]

I mean you fucked up, but she also overreacted

Find a girl who actually accepts you for who you are, this cant be your soulmate

 

[raspberryfart]

Serious Thread, DNR if your un-interested, don't be a faggot.

For reference, I'm in a LTR and I was recovering from a past porn addiction, 2 days after the event occurred I broke down on call with her and confessed what I did in a voice message (which was sent whilst she was sleeping) I still feel incredibly guilty, and she recently told me she still doesn't trust me and feels off when we go on dates or are together. After the whole ordeal I went back to my lustful actions almost immediately (2 days after basically), and to be honest it disgusts me to my core. The whole situation has brought me to the brink of suicide, yet I still strive a future with her so that's off the table. I'm making this thread because I'm lost, I've never really spoke about my problems like this online (besides one other time) and I only do it when I desperately need advice or help. No matter how hard I work or try to better myself I now feel like it'll never be enough. My words aren't enough to describe how I actually feel so I'm sorry if this was a confusing read.

Someone please help me, you can answer here or talk to me in DMS, but I bet this thread will get DNR'D lol, i'm posting on multiple places so I hope at least there's 1 serious response, I need assistance, I'm so lost and I don't want to resort to just crying and sulking all day lol, (my eyes hurt)

Edit: this isn't a pity post lol, just looked at it and thought it looked like I'm attention seeking, DNR if you want

Honestly forget her dude. Find a girl that will help you next time instead of turn you into an asshole for it

 

[xex]

I mean you fucked up, but she also overreacted

Find a girl who actually accepts you for who you are, this cant be your soulmate

I don't think so, she still stayed with me. (forgot to mention that) I Let my disgusting urges get the better of me, that's not her fault. I truly believe this girl is my soulmate

 

[robux]

JFL

 

[xex]

Honestly forget her dude. Find a girl that will help you next time instead of turn you into an asshole for it

She's definitely helping by being there for me, and not just leaving me to rot. I would've died if not for her.

 

[xex]

JFL

scum of the earth, read rules

 

[Mansur]

I don't think so, she still stayed with me. (forgot to mention that) I Let my disgusting urges get the better of me, that's not her fault. I truly believe this girl is my soulmate

Well not acknowledging her fault is already your problem

 

[robux]

scum of the earth, read rules

Idgaf about yo rules son, imma keep laughing at yo relapsing porn addicted goofy ahh

 

[raspberryfart]

She's definitely helping by being there for me, and not just leaving me to rot. I would've died if not for her.

I understand that it’s probably really rough rn and idk the full picture but honestly she’s not there for you. I understand having boundaries but unless she has some extreme reason to hate porn I don’t see why the relationship almost ended over this?

 

[xex]

Well not acknowledging her fault is already your problem

sorry I mean no disrespect, but what exactly is her fault? she stayed with me and said she still trusted me (which I'm now finding out were empty words) but I don't blame her, I would feel betrayed as well.

 

[jester1234]

Serious Thread, DNR if your un-interested, don't be a faggot.

For reference, I'm in a LTR and I was recovering from a past porn addiction, 2 days after the event occurred I broke down on call with her and confessed what I did in a voice message (which was sent whilst she was sleeping) I still feel incredibly guilty, and she recently told me she still doesn't trust me and feels off when we go on dates or are together. After the whole ordeal I went back to my lustful actions almost immediately (2 days after basically), and to be honest it disgusts me to my core. The whole situation has brought me to the brink of suicide, yet I still strive a future with her so that's off the table. I'm making this thread because I'm lost, I've never really spoke about my problems like this online (besides one other time) and I only do it when I desperately need advice or help. No matter how hard I work or try to better myself I now feel like it'll never be enough. My words aren't enough to describe how I actually feel so I'm sorry if this was a confusing read.

Someone please help me, you can answer here or talk to me in DMS, but I bet this thread will get DNR'D lol, i'm posting on multiple places so I hope at least there's 1 serious response, I need assistance, I'm so lost and I don't want to resort to just crying and sulking all day lol, (my eyes hurt)

Edit: this isn't a pity post lol, just looked at it and thought it looked like I'm attention seeking, DNR if you want

If you have to watch porn in order to feel something then that means she’s not making you feel enough

 

[xex]

I understand that it’s probably really rough rn and idk the full picture but honestly she’s not there for you. I understand having boundaries but unless she has some extreme reason to hate porn I don’t see why the relationship almost ended over this?

I feel like anyone has an extreme reason to hate porn, your looking at someone else with the look of attraction other then your partner. But she is there for me, we went on a date today and it was amazing, but she just came home and vented to me and its brought me back to square one.

 

[Mansur]

sorry I mean no disrespect, but what exactly is her fault? she stayed with me and said she still trusted me (which I'm now finding out were empty words) but I don't blame her, I would feel betrayed as well.

I mean idk what to tell you dude

You opened up about your personal problems and she dumped you for that

If you need the honest truth then its here, but if you insist she hasnt done anything wrong then noone can get in your mind

But shes not the one thats for sure

 

[xex]

If you have to watch porn in order to feel something then that means she’s not making you feel enough

That's not true, its just a past addiction i've been struggling with. It wasn't done for the idea of pleasure, more so a chore that i had to get out the way

 

[xex]

I mean idk what to tell you dude

You opened up about your personal problems and she dumped you for that

If you need the honest truth then its here, but if you insist she hasnt done anything wrong then noone can get in your mind

But shes not the one thats for sure

Shes still with me boyo, but thank you for your outlook on the topic. I truly do believe i'll marry her, as long as we can get over this together.

 

[Mansur]

Shes still with me boyo, but thank you for your outlook on the topic. I truly do believe i'll marry her, as long as we can get over this together.

🫩 what was the point of posting this thread in the first place

 

[xex]

🫩 what was the point of posting this thread

for others outlook to know what to do, I know I should get over this with her, but I'm not sure how. I just want others opinions on the situation

 

[miserycel]

why don’t you try to increase your sexual activity with her?

that could reduce your dependence on porn

 

[raspberryfart]

I feel like anyone has an extreme reason to hate porn, your looking at someone else with the look of attraction other then your partner. But she is there for me, we went on a date today and it was amazing, but she just came home and vented to me and its brought me back to square one.

The biggest thing is obviously you don’t want to end this relationship so the small steps(like your date today) is good and you’re not at square one. Attraction is involuntary at least noticing if someone is attractive or not is. Humans where not made to strictly have one partner thought that does not mean you can’t, what I’m trying to get at is that maybe you can’t try to explain to her your natural urges.

 

[xex]

why don’t you try to increase your sexual activity with her?

that could reduce your dependence on porn

we don't get many opportunities to get sexual, also do you think that's the healthiest course of action? feel like its replacing one problem with another.

 

[xex]

The biggest thing is obviously you don’t want to end this relationship so the small steps(like your date today) is good and you’re not at square one. Attraction is involuntary at least noticing if someone is attractive or not is. Humans where not made to strictly have one partner thought that does not mean you can’t, what I’m trying to get at is that maybe you can’t try to explain to her your natural urges.

Im not attracted to anyone other than her, its not really a "natural urge". I only want to be with her, and I don't want to lust over other females, infact I don't lust over other females.

 

[miserycel]

we don't get many opportunities to get sexual, also do you think that's the healthiest course of action? feel like its replacing one problem with another.

feeling lust is natural and it’s pretty common for partners to have sex very frequently

part of why you fell back into porn is probably because you’re not getting enough sexual stimulation from the relationship

i think what you need to do is rebuild trust and connection with her, but also make it known that you probably need more out of the relationship

 

[raspberryfart]

Im not attracted to anyone other than her, its not really a "natural urge". I only want to be with her, and I don't want to lust over other females, infact I don't lust over other females.

If you really don’t want to be lustful to anyone else than increase your sexual activity with her or make your own porn videos. This could be yg sex tape or just a nude. I honestly think yg need to have a talk about boundaries and make it clear to her that you want to find a permanent solution to your addiction.

 

[xex]

feeling lust is natural and it’s pretty common for partners to have sex very frequently

part of why you fell back into porn is probably because you’re not getting enough sexual stimulation from the relationship

i think what you need to do is rebuild trust and connection with her, but also make it known that you probably need more out of the relationship

I would say you def have a point, but since I can't get sexual very often, I wouldn't want to make the whole thing known that "I need more sex" or something, because my desires wouldn't be fulfilled, also I'm 15, I probably won't be so horny in the future lol

 

[xex]

If you really don’t want to be lustful to anyone else than increase your sexual activity with her or make your own porn videos. This could be yg sex tape or just a nude. I honestly think yg need to have a talk about boundaries and make it clear to her that you want to find a permanent solution to your addiction.

after the whole thing, my porn addiction is gone, it was such a trauma inducing experience that I genuinely have no lustful thoughts to anyone besides her now. the problem isn't the addiction, its the recovery, how am I supposed to continue in this relationship when I feel like it'll just haunt me for the rest of my life, I feel like I can't be trusted, and that I'm a piece of shit. Its brutal but tbh its the truth

 

[raspberryfart]

after the whole thing, my porn addiction is gone, it was such a trauma inducing experience that I genuinely have no lustful thoughts to anyone besides her now. the problem isn't the addiction, its the recovery, how am I supposed to continue in this relationship when I feel like it'll just haunt me for the rest of my life, I feel like I can't be trusted, and that I'm a piece of shit. Its brutal but tbh its the truth

Stop thinking so negatively of yourself. You said it yourself the addiction isn’t the problem anymore. If you truly believe that than why do you tell yourself that you can’t be trusted. Ik it’s easy to overthink it but your not a bad guy for what you did.

 

[xex]

Stop thinking so negatively of yourself. You said it yourself the addiction isn’t the problem anymore. If you truly believe that than why do you tell yourself that you can’t be trusted. Ik it’s easy to overthink it but your not a bad guy for what you did.

Its not that I think I can't be trusted, its that she thinks I can't be trusted, and I don't blame her for that, and to be fair, I think I'm fully a "bad guy" for what I did, I did something acknowledging it was wrong, I wouldn't want her to do that to me. even just me thinking about it now has brought me on the verge of tears, this shit is so ropefuel oh my God.

 

[miserycel]

after the whole thing, my porn addiction is gone, it was such a trauma inducing experience that I genuinely have no lustful thoughts to anyone besides her now. the problem isn't the addiction, its the recovery, how am I supposed to continue in this relationship when I feel like it'll just haunt me for the rest of my life, I feel like I can't be trusted, and that I'm a piece of shit. Its brutal but tbh its the truth

you’re 15

you’ll keep moving forward and you’ll forget about it eventually

this is only one of hundreds of times in your life where your spirit breaks

all you need to do is learn the lesson you were meant to and keep walking forward

 

[raspberryfart]

Its not that I think I can't be trusted, its that she thinks I can't be trusted, and I don't blame her for that, and to be fair, I think I'm fully a "bad guy" for what I did, I did something acknowledging it was wrong, I wouldn't want her to do that to me. even just me thinking about it now has brought me on the verge of tears, this shit is so ropefuel oh my God.

What I think you should do is tomorrow or a day yk she is free(or js plan smth small) and have a talk. First start the day off with her favorite flowers and get coffee or smth. Have a talk with her and tell you that you take accountability and about how you want to be better for HER. Boundaries are important here so make sure you also have those set in stone. If you think that this might be to fast pace for her or she might think your doing this to get her to forgive you than start js start small.

 

[xex]

What I think you should do is tomorrow or a day yk she is free(or js plan smth small) and have a talk. First start the day off with her favorite flowers and get coffee or smth. Have a talk with her and tell you that you take accountability and about how you want to be better for HER. Boundaries are important here so make sure you also have those set in stone. If you think that this might be to fast pace for her or she might think your doing this to get her to forgive you than start js start small.

the thing that breaks me is she already lied to me, like I don't want to blame her or anything but it just ruined me a little bit. She said she still trusted me and then I asked her if she was just saying that and she said "I don't speak empty words" but she literally did, then promised to me. Idk maybe I'm overthinking it? I don't want to make myself seem like the victim so I wouldn't say this to her face. I don't want her to just say it and get it over with, I want her to actually mean it. I want her to love and trust me like how she did before this but I know it'll take time.

 

[raspberryfart]

the thing that breaks me is she already lied to me, like I don't want to blame her or anything but it just ruined me a little bit. She said she still trusted me and then I asked her if she was just saying that and she said "I don't speak empty words" but she literally did, then promised to me. Idk maybe I'm overthinking it? I don't want to make myself seem like the victim so I wouldn't say this to her face. I don't want her to just say it and get it over with, I want her to actually mean it. I want her to love and trust me like how she did before this but I know it'll take time.

Honestly just time and effort is your best bet rn. Show you her you want love, trust, and more than yg had before.

 

[xex]

Honestly just time and effort is your best bet rn. Show you her you want love, trust, and more than yg had before.

I'll try, thank you for your time, it means a lot to me. gna cry now LOL

 

[raspberryfart]

I'll try, thank you for your time, it means a lot to me. gna cry now LOL

Of course man I would wanna be heard in your situation as well. Anyone would be lucky to have you bro.

 

[Th-693843]

Serious Thread, DNR if your un-interested, don't be a faggot.

For reference, I'm in a LTR and I was recovering from a past porn addiction, 2 days after the event occurred I broke down on call with her and confessed what I did in a voice message (which was sent whilst she was sleeping) I still feel incredibly guilty, and she recently told me she still doesn't trust me and feels off when we go on dates or are together. After the whole ordeal I went back to my lustful actions almost immediately (2 days after basically), and to be honest it disgusts me to my core. The whole situation has brought me to the brink of suicide, yet I still strive a future with her so that's off the table. I'm making this thread because I'm lost, I've never really spoke about my problems like this online (besides one other time) and I only do it when I desperately need advice or help. No matter how hard I work or try to better myself I now feel like it'll never be enough. My words aren't enough to describe how I actually feel so I'm sorry if this was a confusing read.

Someone please help me, you can answer here or talk to me in DMS, but I bet this thread will get DNR'D lol, i'm posting on multiple places so I hope at least there's 1 serious response, I need assistance, I'm so lost and I don't want to resort to just crying and sulking all day lol, (my eyes hurt)

Edit: this isn't a pity post lol, just looked at it and thought it looked like I'm attention seeking, DNR if you want

Start getting addicted to bettering yourself like just going in the gym. First few days will be hard. Those hard sessions will eventually completely take your mind off of it and you’ll still be improving in the long run. Also, if this girl can clearly see you’re doing that, I’m sure she’ll change her mind. Btw don’t look at people lustfully as it’ll make it harder otherwise and fucking man up. Most importantly find God.

 

[amvi0rr]

I mean you fucked up, but she also overreacted

Find a girl who actually accepts you for who you are, this cant be your soulmate

no shit sherlock

 

[Mansur]

no shit sherlock

ok since you supposedly know a better answer let us hear it

 

[amvi0rr]

ok since you supposedly know a better answer let us hear it

Lmao
Cop " e " nd

 

[Mansur]

Lmao
Cop " e " nd

am I speaking with an autist or smth?