optimisticzoomer
I seem to be shrinking
- Joined
- May 24, 2020
- Posts
- 5,528
- Reputation
- 6,547
Not actually, but my mind is a mess these days and my worldview changes multiple times a day
I go from being slightly hopeful about the future to just wanting to rot and die 5 mins later
And I can't make decisions about life. I think a large factor is that I want surgery but don't know how and when to fit it into my life, and the burden of trying to get it despite going against my parents (and then trying to avoid them) is taxing
Then I have to think about wageslaving and what job I'm gonna do, or where I'm gonna live. I will constantly change my mind, have 0 jobs I'm aiming for, and then inevitably think about rotting in a third world country, but then of course I need a job
I want to rot away from society one minute, the next I'm wanting to get multiple surgeries and mog, then thinking about the barriers to that, then the next minute thinking I should just rot and aren't able to have a relationship
One minute I'll be thinking I only want sex from a girl, the other I'll want to kill myself, the next minute I'll be thinking if I want an LTR but don't have the right brain
I can't even explain it but it's becoming hard to deal with the thoughts and constant indecisiveness and changes in how I look at things. Dying would be good because once you're dead every bad thing ends, and life is meaningless anyway, but I'm too much of a pussy and have my parents, and also in 15 mins I won't be thinking like that and will be thinking it's worth living
I go from being slightly hopeful about the future to just wanting to rot and die 5 mins later
And I can't make decisions about life. I think a large factor is that I want surgery but don't know how and when to fit it into my life, and the burden of trying to get it despite going against my parents (and then trying to avoid them) is taxing
Then I have to think about wageslaving and what job I'm gonna do, or where I'm gonna live. I will constantly change my mind, have 0 jobs I'm aiming for, and then inevitably think about rotting in a third world country, but then of course I need a job
I want to rot away from society one minute, the next I'm wanting to get multiple surgeries and mog, then thinking about the barriers to that, then the next minute thinking I should just rot and aren't able to have a relationship
One minute I'll be thinking I only want sex from a girl, the other I'll want to kill myself, the next minute I'll be thinking if I want an LTR but don't have the right brain
I can't even explain it but it's becoming hard to deal with the thoughts and constant indecisiveness and changes in how I look at things. Dying would be good because once you're dead every bad thing ends, and life is meaningless anyway, but I'm too much of a pussy and have my parents, and also in 15 mins I won't be thinking like that and will be thinking it's worth living
