Neonsit0
Iron
- Joined
- Dec 30, 2024
- Posts
- 56
- Reputation
- 34
I'm tired of everything. I can't keep doing this anymore.
I've wasted half of my life trying to be someone or something that I'm not. I try to cope thinking that maybe someday I'll truly love myself.
Just the thought that I have to keep working out, doing extreme diets and training hard just to be treated like a normal person makes me want to be in a mental hospital, at least there no one will judge me.
I know I'm a loser, but that's just the truth. I like working out, especially with my friends, but it drives me crazy that I make zero progress while my friends don’t even train to failure and make insane progress. It’s not even my fault that I wasn’t fed with good vitamins, minerals, and protein-rich food as a child. I probably have the testosterone levels of a 12-year-old girl.
I've been trying to lose weight since I was nine fucking years old. I'm so tired of this. When I manage to lose fat, somehow I gain it all back again. This year, though, this hasn’t happened, I’ve been losing fat every single month, but I’m mentally and physically exhausted (1800 calories since last December) sometimes I'd just like to be a drug addict or an alcohol addict, they can be happy, sometimes.
For some people this isn't a problem at all, some people may have worse problems, but those are the problems that are affecting me right now and I don't know what the fuck I can do.
I want to be happy. I want to go out without thinking people are laughing at me. I want to be able to talk to new people without them thinking I'm a weird guy. I want to have a life.
I've wasted half of my life trying to be someone or something that I'm not. I try to cope thinking that maybe someday I'll truly love myself.
Just the thought that I have to keep working out, doing extreme diets and training hard just to be treated like a normal person makes me want to be in a mental hospital, at least there no one will judge me.
I know I'm a loser, but that's just the truth. I like working out, especially with my friends, but it drives me crazy that I make zero progress while my friends don’t even train to failure and make insane progress. It’s not even my fault that I wasn’t fed with good vitamins, minerals, and protein-rich food as a child. I probably have the testosterone levels of a 12-year-old girl.
I've been trying to lose weight since I was nine fucking years old. I'm so tired of this. When I manage to lose fat, somehow I gain it all back again. This year, though, this hasn’t happened, I’ve been losing fat every single month, but I’m mentally and physically exhausted (1800 calories since last December) sometimes I'd just like to be a drug addict or an alcohol addict, they can be happy, sometimes.
For some people this isn't a problem at all, some people may have worse problems, but those are the problems that are affecting me right now and I don't know what the fuck I can do.
I want to be happy. I want to go out without thinking people are laughing at me. I want to be able to talk to new people without them thinking I'm a weird guy. I want to have a life.
