I wish I never found love, ascending is pointless now

[yvessss]

I'll probably never get the girl of my dreams, and ascending feels pointless because of it. Random foids, money and status is not fulfilling at all, and I didn't know that until I got a taste of what it's like to find something meaningful.

How do you guys enjoy your life without love? Nothing seems to compare anymore, I wish I never found a girl I truly loved because it has genuinely ruined everything for me. She wasn't even the best looking girl I've been with, but still just seeing her smile was better than any hook up I ever had, or any money I made.

I'm still living life, going out, getting with other girls, working etc. But I'm relying on drugs to function, I'm demoralized and have low motivation.