I'm a really bad person, I don't know how to get people to forgive me or how to forgive myself.

[birthdefect]

No, the mature thing to do is to accept that you’re a shitty person

Even if you’re screaming into the void

You’re giving yourself peace and the other person peace

It’s not always reciprocated, but apologising is always the mature thing to do

i mean when the other person doesnt care for the apology (a cunt) or when you know they wouldnt care and just continue being a bitch
other than that yea i agree

 

[Lefty Rankin]

I think you are confusing shame with guilt

No I'm not, I'm taking about guilt. Shame is equally bad though.

 

[Sceptical]

dark triad demon emperor @Sceptical

holy niche reference

 

[kief]

I've hurt many people in my life, I'm not happy about it, I tried making up for it by making other people's lives better, but I don't think that reverses the damage I've done to a couple of people.

Would it be weird to reach out to people from years ago and talk to them and apologize? Would it be better if I let them move on? I don't know what to do

Womp womp nigga

 

[freeshavacadoo]

No I'm not, I'm taking about guilt. Shame is equally bad though.

Guilt is normal and out of our own will, no one wants to be ostracized so they try and do better, and yes this is out of selfishness but at the end of the day the world we live in now is much different than in the past where such actions would have you ostracized and you die because we didn't evolve to live alone, you could survive now but you would have died in the past, the behaviors of people show that our brains really haven't changed much in the past 5000 years. We are all inherently selfish and its not narcissistic to feel guilt, its just about survival

 

[Lefty Rankin]

Guilt is normal and out of our own will, no one wants to be ostracized so they try and do better, and yes this is out of selfishness but at the end of the day the world we live in now is much different than in the past where such actions would have you ostracized and you die because we didn't evolve to live alone, you could survive now but you would have died in the past, the behaviors of people show that our brains really haven't changed much in the past 5000 years. We are all inherently selfish and its not narcissistic to feel guilt, its just about survival

Why would I have died in the past?

Guilt is something people hang on to be because they believe doing so makes them a better person. It's completely in our will.

 

[freeshavacadoo]

Why would I have died in the past?

Guilt is something people hang on to be because they believe doing so makes them a better person. It's completely in our will.

If not for guilt and the bettering of yourself in a group environment you would have likely died alone from starvation and many other factors from ostracization. Prosocial behaviors are what makes us human and a lot of it would be considered selfish if you really look into it. Most people conform and fit in, its a survival instinct and you can explain almost everyones behavior being rooted in the conservation of our own DNA, its why social competition exists and why its very prevalent still, almost like its all determined .

 

[Lefty Rankin]

If not for guilt and the bettering of yourself in a group environment you would have likely died alone from starvation and many other factors from ostracization. Prosocial behaviors are what makes us human and a lot of it would be considered selfish if you really look into it. Most people conform and fit in, its a survival instinct and you can explain almost everyones behavior being rooted in the conservation of our own DNA, its why social competition exists and why its very prevalent still, almost like its all determined .

See, you falsely believe that guilt is necessary to adapt and make yourself more prosocial. What about all those who just fake it? Empathy that is? Why are psychopaths so charming and adaptive? Sure, that's at one end of the spectrum but people aren't retarded. I don't need to feel guilty for anything I've done in order to see why people might not take kindly to it and tweak my behavior accordingly.

 

[freeshavacadoo]

See, you falsely believe that guilt is necessary to adapt and make yourself more prosocial. What about all those who just fake it? Empathy that is? Why are psychopaths so charming and adaptive? Sure, that's at one end of the spectrum but people aren't retarded. I don't need to feel guilty for anything I've done in order to see why people might not take kindly to it and tweak my behavior accordingly.

Yes, some people imitate behavior purely with cognition, that doesn't negate anything I said. Psychopathy works on exploiting the already developed social system that our brains have developed from our ancestors. Psychopathy is also rare. You can exploit the system but its still there. There are thousands of different prosocial mechanisms that we've evolved to have, guilt is but one of the many. Faking empathy implies that empathy exists in others and has social value. Otherwise there would legit be nothing to fake. I do believe some guilt is rooted in virtue signaling/selfishness but I believe its all natural and healthy and many many different behaviors that are seen as normal are too.

 

[Lefty Rankin]

Yes, some people imitate behavior purely with cognition, that doesn't negate anything I said. Psychopathy works on exploiting the already developed social system that our brains have developed from our ancestors. Psychopathy is also rare. You can exploit the system but its still there. There are thousands of different prosocial mechanisms that we've evolved to have, guilt is but one of the many. Faking empathy implies that empathy exists in others and has social value. Otherwise there would legit be nothing to fake. I do believe some guilt is rooted in virtue signaling/selfishness but I believe its all natural and healthy and many many different behaviors that are seen as normal are too.

I'm not talking about virtue signaling.

Anyways, guilt is not necessary for prosocial behavior.

 

[freeshavacadoo]

I'm not talking about virtue signaling.

Anyways, guilt is not necessary for prosocial behavior.

Guilt is still a normal emotion that is a defense mechanism. We all naturally feel guilt sometimes, its normal.

 

[Lefty Rankin]

Guilt is still a normal emotion that is a defense mechanism.

Now you're the one confusing guilt with shame.

 

[freeshavacadoo]

Now you're the one confusing guilt with shame.

Lmao okay bro

 

[Lefty Rankin]

Lmao okay bro

You've lost the argument. Be humble, you still have your dignity.

 

[freeshavacadoo]

You've lost the argument. Be humble, you still have your dignity.

Okay bro declare victory to yourself lol. "Be humble" haha.
You are funny. In no way did I lose the argument

 

[Lefty Rankin]

Okay bro declare victory to yourself lol. "Be humble" haha.
You are funny. In no way did I lose the argument

Enough with the sarcasm. Don't think that just because I didn't win you didn't lose. You lost, dudeboy.