I'm fucking done! Not doing this shit anymore! I'M FUCKING DONE!!

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

I'm done with Downy. It continues to fail to keep the clothes fresh and soft as they advertise. I feel robbed -- cheated -- I feel like taking my clothes off and streaking in front of their factory while screaming, "Here! Take my gaddam fucking clothes too you lying manipulating corporation scumbags!"

It's time I switch to a better trustworthy fabric softener. It's time I go ... Monster? Do they even make fabric softeners? Ah, yes, I can visualize the commercial now ... "After drinking a can of ice-cold Monster and finishing a workout, or pornographic scene, it's time to wash the grime away and soften your whore threads with Monster Fabric Softener. Sure, we could've just made the laundry detergent but fuck that shit, right? We believe fabric softener is the new goldrush of tomorrow."

THIS HAS BEEN A PRODUCT PLACEMENT OF A FABRIC SOFTENER THAT DOESN'T EXIST YET BUT SHOULD, RIGHT? UGH.

 

[Deleted member 21467]

over 4 you bud light

 

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

over 4 you bud light

Ah, yes, a conspicuous ominous reminder of the good o' current boycott of faggot beer. But I'm a defiant son bitch. Last week, I was visiting a casino, the first time of many moons, and made a heartbreaking discovery. Motherfuckers charged me for the beer KNOWING I was putting money into their rigged device. Smh. Before I made the beer request to the desperate thirsty-looking barmaid, I scanned my surroundings and noticed the many Trump supporters. Quickly, and I do mean quickly, I thought quickly and said, "Ultra Light." Booyah! I felt the gazes turned at me as if saying, You fucking traitor son bitch!

An hour later, I decided to rejoin the boycott and ordered a Lizard Weed craft beer? or something like that.