im really sorry if this comes off as unintelligible or weird its 11:37 pm and i just wanted to vent something

[friganispermici]

A change of innocent personality is worse than complete death, a prefix example is Randy Stair (or Andrew Blaze) . He went on from being a lively and cheerful kid making childish videos to becoming obsessed with columbine and a fictional ghost girl and believing in delusions and whatnot, i lately realized this when i started looking at text messages of me and my friend when we were both 11-12 working on geography videos (yes those mapping videos you see on tiktok) now he has been so distant and less talkative, its either that he is distant or we have changed, weirdly we were almost inseperable from the day we met on our first day of school until 4th grade when i switched schools due to reasons i will not be disclosing atleast for now, even after 4th grade we talked through discord and whatsapp and worked on our server, hell we even regularly hanged out outside sometimes during our summer break, even as recently as the end of summer 2025. I really miss his old innocent and playful personality from when he was 12, im looking at our old chats and im shedding multiple tears. It's so overwhelimg seeing days that were in the present now be 5 to 7 years ago. As im writing this i also saw another guy from switzerland who was in our discord server, who was near and dear especially to me and especially my other friend as they had collaborated on some of their videos, 3 months ago i saw the same name he had a few years ago on steam and us both were all so hyped to wait for a response from him, sadly it never came. He left without a trace in summer 2023 and has been gone since from the entire internet privating (possibly even deleting) his videos just like my friend, he also quit in december 2023. I took a different approach in privating my videos so i could atleast archive something of a personality of mine that once was but no longer is. That just reminded me of a roblox knock off forum i had talked a shit ton on when i was 8 and 9, but this forum is long enough, i had over 2 thousand something hundred posts on both accounts so its definetly going to be long, The forum shut down in the beginning of november 2020 and there is now an archive of it, although the person holding it has been radio silent since 2022. I just really wish i could relive atleast 1 day from then, but thats never gonna happen.. not in this life

 

[friganispermici]

bump or whatever they say nowadays

 

[hunter-]

I’m sorry man
Sad thing is people change, not always in the way we would like and most of the time were powerless to this

 

[friganispermici]

I’m sorry man
Sad thing is people change, not always in the way we would like and most of the time were powerless to this

I understand, its just too depressing to look at it. Atleast for friends i have an option to ignore their personality changes and move on. With time however i cant, the subtle movement of time is unnoticeable yet overwhelming to me, days that seemed like today are now 5 to 7 years ago, sometimes i think i havent aged at all due to how i thought i was in the “present” 5 years ago as much as i do today, however when i look at snippets and archives my old personality theres a light and night difference.

 

[hunter-]

I understand, its just too depressing to look at it. Atleast for friends i have an option to ignore their personality changes and move on. With time however i cant, the subtle movement of time is unnoticeable yet overwhelming to me, days that seemed like today are now 5 to 7 years ago, sometimes i think i havent aged at all due to how i thought i was in the “present” 5 years ago as much as i do today, however when i look at snippets and archives my old personality theres a light and night difference.

Don’t look back if it hurts you man. I know it’s easier said than done but if you keep reminiscing about the past you can’t move on. Don’t look back at it, at least for the moment; know that it existed but also accept that you’re in the actual present and no matter how much you notice you change, all that matters is that you make yourself proud. Spend time on hobbies, ambitions etc and I promise you you will find yourself. When you find something to thrive for, thats when your positive change begins.
The most important thing is that you’re aknowledging you live in the past. This allows you to already start working on yourself ! Most people aren’t even aware they’re stuck in these situations. It’s not too late for you and I believe you can make anything you want if you convince yourself of it and put in the work.
I know it’s hard but I wish you good luck man

 

[friganispermici]

Don’t look back if it hurts you man. I know it’s easier said than done but if you keep reminiscing about the past you can’t move on.

Do you atleast know how this can be done

 

[hunter-]

Do you atleast know how this can be done

I don’t know how this can be done for you. We are all different and all react in different ways to situations. Sorry if I can’t be of any real help

 

[friganispermici]

I don’t know how this can be done for you. We are all different and all react in different ways to situations. Sorry if I can’t be of any real help

no matter how general or superfixial it is please tell

 

[hunter-]

no matter how general or superfixial it is please tell

I mean like I said you can’t fight it, and it you can’t fight it the only option is to run away from it, in general this implies finding new hobbies and things you like to do as well as surrounding yourself with people you like. Thus allowing you to distract yourself from a negative mindset

 

[friganispermici]

I mean like I said you can’t fight it, and it you can’t fight it the only option is to run away from it, in general this implies finding new hobbies and things you like to do as well as surrounding yourself with people you like. Thus allowing you to distract yourself from a negative mindset

alright then