I’m scared I might kill myself tonight. I need someone to talk to

[Aox Ofwar]

Btw masters degree + phd and you think you have it bad??? LMFAO come on dude...

Lol?? And he wants to suicide? Probably if he keeps to himself people avoid him thinking he is an asshole. If you look good enough but avoid socializing many think you are an asshole that think you are too good for other people. Also that doesn't remotely look like "low dimorphism". OP seems to suffer from clinical depression as fuck and coping something is wrong with his looks instead of accepting his brain likely is crying for no reason.

Read some of his old posts, people have been telling him that he's gl since 2019 lmao, top 10 biggest mentalcels of all time

 

[Bipolar2Cel]

Muh pills . He has no mental illness. How would pills help

“Just go ruin your life and your health bro!”

He is HTN crying about being incel. He already tried tons of copes and nothing worked, still depressed. He is mentally ill for real, lol. You can't cope away real depression.

 

[Bipolar2Cel]

Read some of his old posts, people have been telling him that he's gl since 2019 lmao, top 10 biggest mentalcels of all time

He is mentally ill for real.

 

[Aox Ofwar]

He is mentally ill for real.

@returnofthecutecel look man I'm no psychiatrist I don't know how to help you but it can't continue like that. You need professional help

 

[Alton]

Hes mmtn -hmtn and I'm a harsh rater
@Bipolar2Cel

 

[blyuh]

It’s been two nights since I last slept. I don’t know how to start this thread, but my life is a total mess.

A lot of you are probably sick of me spamming my photos here, but there’s a reason for everything.

As I write this thread, I’m listening to this song and crying:



I’ve never had friends since high school, where I was bullied. They made fun of me and my appearance, especially my ears. That’s why I had the only surgery I’ve ever had: unilateral otoplasty.

I discovered the world of blackpill in 2019, when I signed up on .org. I’ve had several accounts here, and I remember some of the usernames: Cutecel2001, Doublex2J, SantiAbaschad, and my current one, returnofthecutecel.

When I turned 18—exactly 7 years ago, in the summer of 2019—I decided to post my photos on Reddit. In the r/truerateme subreddit, I was rated below average, and a comment mentioned the forum “looksmax.org,” where I signed up.

I decided to post my photos on Reddit because I had previously signed up for dating apps and wasn’t getting any dates.

The blackpill community explained the cause of all my problems: my appearance. I decided to improve myself—I had ear surgery, joined a gym, and took Accutane to clear up my acne, another cause of the bullying.

Next, I’m going to list some of my insecurities that make me unhappy: I’m self-conscious about my height, my face is weird and lacks dimorphism, and I lack angular features, which clearly hinders my success with women. Despite being born in Spain and having a Spanish family, my phenotype doesn’t seem to fit in here, and ethnic discrimination affects me directly.

Ever since I was a kid, the abuse I suffered from bullying made me shut myself in my room playing COD Black Ops 2, while the rest of my class went out to their first parties and had their first experiences with girls.

I was always a good student, and when I turned 18, I initially enrolled in a dual degree program in computer engineering and statistics. I moved into a dorm, but after the first week, I dropped out. I couldn’t handle being surrounded by people and would shut myself away in my room.

During that year of “doing nothing,” I fell into a depression and spent my time browsing .org, .is, and other BP forums. At the same time, I learned to play the guitar and wrote songs like this one, in which I tried to express what I was feeling:



After all that, I started college again in a different major. In this case, I’d always been very interested in genetics, so I began studying Biotechnology. During those years, I didn’t fit in, and people seemed to leave me out as well. I didn’t have any college social life at all, and the only party I went to was the graduation party.

It took me a year longer than it should have to finish my degree, since I never had anyone to help me with notes and I was studying while dealing with severe depression.

During my final year of college, my father was diagnosed with a serious illness, and that really took a toll on me.

This year I just finished a master’s degree in Molecular and Cellular Biology. During the master’s program, at least I was able to have some social interaction, although most people ignored me (probably because of my appearance).

After finishing the master’s, I’ll probably start a PhD, since there aren’t many job opportunities for me right now. In the PhD program, I’d make some money (not much), but it would be something. Doing a PhD in a lab requires an enormous commitment, and I don’t know if I’m ready for it: 1/2 PhD students need psychiatrical medication.

Despite all of this, I feel very lonely. I feel like I’ve failed miserably in my life. My parents are getting older; I only have them and my sister. I’ve spent the last 10 years of my life alone. I haven’t had all the experiences I should have had by now.

I don't know what's keeping me tied to this life, but these last two nights I've been feeling really down. The depression has never gone away, and I always end up relapsing.

Before I die, it might be worth trying to look the way I've always wanted to—as much as possible—through surgery.

Talking to someone here would really help me.

we can talk

 

[KazeMG]

It’s been two nights since I last slept. I don’t know how to start this thread, but my life is a total mess.

A lot of you are probably sick of me spamming my photos here, but there’s a reason for everything.

As I write this thread, I’m listening to this song and crying:



I’ve never had friends since high school, where I was bullied. They made fun of me and my appearance, especially my ears. That’s why I had the only surgery I’ve ever had: unilateral otoplasty.

I discovered the world of blackpill in 2019, when I signed up on .org. I’ve had several accounts here, and I remember some of the usernames: Cutecel2001, Doublex2J, SantiAbaschad, and my current one, returnofthecutecel.

When I turned 18—exactly 7 years ago, in the summer of 2019—I decided to post my photos on Reddit. In the r/truerateme subreddit, I was rated below average, and a comment mentioned the forum “looksmax.org,” where I signed up.

I decided to post my photos on Reddit because I had previously signed up for dating apps and wasn’t getting any dates.

The blackpill community explained the cause of all my problems: my appearance. I decided to improve myself—I had ear surgery, joined a gym, and took Accutane to clear up my acne, another cause of the bullying.

Next, I’m going to list some of my insecurities that make me unhappy: I’m self-conscious about my height, my face is weird and lacks dimorphism, and I lack angular features, which clearly hinders my success with women. Despite being born in Spain and having a Spanish family, my phenotype doesn’t seem to fit in here, and ethnic discrimination affects me directly.

Ever since I was a kid, the abuse I suffered from bullying made me shut myself in my room playing COD Black Ops 2, while the rest of my class went out to their first parties and had their first experiences with girls.

I was always a good student, and when I turned 18, I initially enrolled in a dual degree program in computer engineering and statistics. I moved into a dorm, but after the first week, I dropped out. I couldn’t handle being surrounded by people and would shut myself away in my room.

During that year of “doing nothing,” I fell into a depression and spent my time browsing .org, .is, and other BP forums. At the same time, I learned to play the guitar and wrote songs like this one, in which I tried to express what I was feeling:



After all that, I started college again in a different major. In this case, I’d always been very interested in genetics, so I began studying Biotechnology. During those years, I didn’t fit in, and people seemed to leave me out as well. I didn’t have any college social life at all, and the only party I went to was the graduation party.

It took me a year longer than it should have to finish my degree, since I never had anyone to help me with notes and I was studying while dealing with severe depression.

During my final year of college, my father was diagnosed with a serious illness, and that really took a toll on me.

This year I just finished a master’s degree in Molecular and Cellular Biology. During the master’s program, at least I was able to have some social interaction, although most people ignored me (probably because of my appearance).

After finishing the master’s, I’ll probably start a PhD, since there aren’t many job opportunities for me right now. In the PhD program, I’d make some money (not much), but it would be something. Doing a PhD in a lab requires an enormous commitment, and I don’t know if I’m ready for it: 1/2 PhD students need psychiatrical medication.

Despite all of this, I feel very lonely. I feel like I’ve failed miserably in my life. My parents are getting older; I only have them and my sister. I’ve spent the last 10 years of my life alone. I haven’t had all the experiences I should have had by now.

I don't know what's keeping me tied to this life, but these last two nights I've been feeling really down. The depression has never gone away, and I always end up relapsing.

Before I die, it might be worth trying to look the way I've always wanted to—as much as possible—through surgery.

Talking to someone here would really help me.

1. Dm if u wanna talk im always down
2. I was boutta go to sleep but took the time to read your whole thing, many people did too, people that care enough to listen to you when other didn’t. When the rest of the world didn’t people here do so you’re never truly alone and it will only get better fs