D
Deleted member 16133
🖤💊THIS IS MY CURSE 🔪🩸☠️💀🤘👹🤡👿
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2021
- Posts
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ever since i was a small child, i've always witness my mom abusing animals, hundreds of times from age 3-8 when I stopped living with her.
I witnessed her beating dogs, burning them with cigarettes, throwing small puppies out of cars, beating german shepherds with belts and a wooden paddle, one time we had 12 dogs in the house at one time and she couldn't handle it so she would take it out on the springer spaniel and spank him until he cried, she'd rub their noses in shit if they pooped somewhere, step on them, I've seen pretty much everything.
In sixth grade I cut off a lizards tail and smashed it with my shoe.
in seventh grade i got a week of detention for beating a dead frog to a pulp with a knife and cutting its legs off when we were doing the dissection in science class
in eighth grade i smashed a baby frog with a rock
in ninth grade i beheaded a snapping turtle at the lake with a pair of scissors
in tenth grade a snake was in my garage so i shot it with a bb gun it didn't go down so i killed it with shovel and I got a thrill of the kill and had some kind of enjoyment from it.
a few months ago my gaurdian threatened to take away our family shih tzsu because they claim that I "abuse" it by wreslting with it and make it mean and angry and bite me. My reasoning for doing this was "I am teaching the dog to become like its ancestor, the wolf, just in case the world were to end and it would need to defend itself against enemies since it's an eight pound female shih tzu, it needs to learn to be a predator, not a prey that is docile all the time and lazy."
then I learned online they're bred to be loved and companions, and not predators for thousands of years. It made me think, wow I am being a bad person, maybe I should change.
I've never thought of hurting another person, it's always made me cringe to think of taking another life.
Even though humanity disgusts me, I feel as if I have a moral responsibility to keep others safe, and now I have to keep animals safe.
now everytime i see even a spider or a beetle in my house, I cannot bare to be a murderer or a killer no matter the shape or size, I take it outside and make sure it's safe. I am now loving to my dog, but rarely on some occasion I feel the need to wrestle with it, and make it become a natural hunter. I don't know how to stop this, can anyone help me out? Am I a bad person for what I've done? I haven't really felt remorse up until now that I've remembered it, but I do want to get better, I am being forced to go to a facility for treatment anyway so I won't be on this forum. Has anyone heard of the Terrel Asylum? Yeah, my mom is famous there for fighting with cops and is famous with the inmates for sneaking in pizza, like mother like son, I am a patient of the asylum soon enough.
Is my mom responsible for this? Am I a bad person? Or just an environmental victim?
Fuck you mom for what you've done to me.
I just want to be normal I haven't killed an animal in over 10 months since that snake, I remember my friends look on their face when they saw me smashing the frog and beheading the turtle they said they'd keep it a secret and if their parents ever found out they wouldn't be friends with me. I just feel so bad now all of a sudden, I don't know why? I want to be good I really do.
Hopefully they give me good drugs at the asylum, it's not like I have a choice, it's either go to public school next month or go to the psych ward.
I refuse to attend school and get bullied! So mental asylum it is! Here's to self improvement!
or this coulld all be a joke and im actually a good person who never done a thing wrong but idk
I witnessed her beating dogs, burning them with cigarettes, throwing small puppies out of cars, beating german shepherds with belts and a wooden paddle, one time we had 12 dogs in the house at one time and she couldn't handle it so she would take it out on the springer spaniel and spank him until he cried, she'd rub their noses in shit if they pooped somewhere, step on them, I've seen pretty much everything.
In sixth grade I cut off a lizards tail and smashed it with my shoe.
in seventh grade i got a week of detention for beating a dead frog to a pulp with a knife and cutting its legs off when we were doing the dissection in science class
in eighth grade i smashed a baby frog with a rock
in ninth grade i beheaded a snapping turtle at the lake with a pair of scissors
in tenth grade a snake was in my garage so i shot it with a bb gun it didn't go down so i killed it with shovel and I got a thrill of the kill and had some kind of enjoyment from it.
a few months ago my gaurdian threatened to take away our family shih tzsu because they claim that I "abuse" it by wreslting with it and make it mean and angry and bite me. My reasoning for doing this was "I am teaching the dog to become like its ancestor, the wolf, just in case the world were to end and it would need to defend itself against enemies since it's an eight pound female shih tzu, it needs to learn to be a predator, not a prey that is docile all the time and lazy."
then I learned online they're bred to be loved and companions, and not predators for thousands of years. It made me think, wow I am being a bad person, maybe I should change.
I've never thought of hurting another person, it's always made me cringe to think of taking another life.
Even though humanity disgusts me, I feel as if I have a moral responsibility to keep others safe, and now I have to keep animals safe.
now everytime i see even a spider or a beetle in my house, I cannot bare to be a murderer or a killer no matter the shape or size, I take it outside and make sure it's safe. I am now loving to my dog, but rarely on some occasion I feel the need to wrestle with it, and make it become a natural hunter. I don't know how to stop this, can anyone help me out? Am I a bad person for what I've done? I haven't really felt remorse up until now that I've remembered it, but I do want to get better, I am being forced to go to a facility for treatment anyway so I won't be on this forum. Has anyone heard of the Terrel Asylum? Yeah, my mom is famous there for fighting with cops and is famous with the inmates for sneaking in pizza, like mother like son, I am a patient of the asylum soon enough.
Is my mom responsible for this? Am I a bad person? Or just an environmental victim?
Fuck you mom for what you've done to me.
I just want to be normal I haven't killed an animal in over 10 months since that snake, I remember my friends look on their face when they saw me smashing the frog and beheading the turtle they said they'd keep it a secret and if their parents ever found out they wouldn't be friends with me. I just feel so bad now all of a sudden, I don't know why? I want to be good I really do.
Hopefully they give me good drugs at the asylum, it's not like I have a choice, it's either go to public school next month or go to the psych ward.
I refuse to attend school and get bullied! So mental asylum it is! Here's to self improvement!
or this coulld all be a joke and im actually a good person who never done a thing wrong but idk
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